Colourful Moments
by SingingBlues
Summary: AU. It had been three years. Allen had never thought of seeing Kanda again. That was, until he saw him again, just right across him. And he realised that they had been passing by each other all along. Fate? Yullen, LaviLena. Sequel to Before Dawn.
1. First Step

Hello everyone! It has been a while since I update. This is the sequel of the story 'Before Dawn'. I have started writing and planning out the story plots up to chapter 6, and the whole story should be about 10chapters the most. I won't be updating quite frequently, but I will if I can. This story is supposed to end exactly at day of Christmas, but as I am going holiday on 22Dec, I won't be able to do so. Sorry! Yes, this is a christmas fic, but plot is mostly focusing on Allen and Kanda the main characters!

Enjoy~! Please review and tell me how I write! I try not to write too angsty because this story rounds up the final relationship between the both of them. It is supposed to be a happy ending right? Alright, maybe the recalling of the memories is slightly angsty :\

I have read this for many times so hope there isn't any mistakes! If have, please tell me! Thanks! :D

This story is focusing on two pairings! Yullen and LaviLena. I didn't touch on LaviLena for the story 'Before Dawn' so this time, there will be chapters about this two besides Kanda and Allen. Of course, yullen is still the main pairing XD

* * *

_Sorry._

He remembered that he apologised to him.

_Sorry._

He remembered that he pushed him away at the last moment.

_Sorry._

And it was at that moment, when he felt that he was the most miserable person in the world.

**x**

_And in today already walks tomorrow - __Samuel Taylor Coleridge_

**- Colourful Moments -**

**x**

**Chapter 1: First Step**

_He just stared at the sunrise solemnly, realising that the time had ran out. The heat was slowly entering the stuffy room, the bright light basking at his body as he stood there by the windows for the whole night till now. His lips parted slightly, a soft sigh escaping out of his lips as his eyes softened. His left arm was resting at the window while his other arm were hanging freely at the side of his body. _

_Dawn had arrived, before he knew it. He knew he shouldn't behave like this. It wasn't going to happen to the both of them anyway. He was clinging onto an empty hope, that was all. _

_"I'm leaving," Allen murmured softly, seeing his room and the scenery here once again, wanting to remember everything in his head forever. After picking up the luggage in his hand, he slowly turned his back, walking towards the door. As he opened it and stepped out, a thought just entered his mind. _

_Would he remember everything? Everything about this place, everything about the friends and people he met here, whom he cherished greatly? Would he remember the memories all of them shared? _

_Allen stiffened. Would he remember Kanda? He probably would._

_But would Kanda remember him?_

**- Colourful Moments -**

"Allen!" Allen blinked and turned to stare at a little girl who was making an annoyed face when he had ignored her for a few minutes. Apparently, she was the daughter of his neighbours and they hoped that he and Lenalee could take care of her until they returned home from their friends' wedding dinner that day.

"Sorry, Alicia! What did you say just now?" The silver-haired teen put the newspaper aside and laughed sheepishly.

"Allen, why aren't you listening attentively to what I'm saying?" She gave a huff and turned around sharply, her arms folded tightly at her chest as she gave an unpleasant face at his attitude. Allen panicked slightly, not know how to do to salvage the situation. He turned and stared at the olive-haired girl who was watering the plants outside the balcony. She noticed his gaze and just shook her head.

"Sorry, but I am not going to help you this time, Allen. You have to answer this for yourself," She replied, and Allen's heart literally sank.

"Help me, Lenalee!" He whined, giving her a pleading look. She shook her head once again. It wasn't because she didn't want to help him. In fact, she wanted to help Allen in whatever she could, to repay him for what he had done and suffered during the battle. Lenalee glanced at Allen who was trying to persuade that child to forgive him just this once. Her hands which had been moving gradually stopped, the wet piece of clothing in her hands.

"Lenalee?" Allen asked, seeing that she had stopped doing the laundry. Lenalee smiled and shook her head, decided to continue in her work, but the more she stared at Allen's solitude shadow, the more she was reminded of the physical and mental injuries that Allen had taken a few years ago. The battle had ended ten years ago, but were those injuries completely healed? That boy did not show through his face expressions, yet she always had a feeling that the pain was still there.

She hadn't forgotten that sorrowful look he gave her when she entered his room on the last day. Till now, she had absolutely no idea what had happened which made him cry, and she was astonished, because Allen rarely cried. Even if he was tortured by the Noah inside him, he did not cry. Or at least, he did not show anyone his painful side. But on that night, he was completely different. Allen looked so haggard, so vulnerable for the first time. He looked like he was about to fall any moment, and she couldn't do anything to help him ease the pain.

At this time, the house phone rang. Allen got out of his chair and walked over to the table, picking it up.

"Hello?" There was some muffled sounds. Allen could only hear some shouts, before someone was on the line.

"Is this Allen-kun?"

"Komui-san!" Allen exclaimed. Lenalee looked up from her laundry work immediately. Allen exchanged glances at her, telling her that her brother was at the line. Lenalee gave a warm smile and nodded her head, knowing what he meant. Komui had a job as a researcher after they left the Black Order, and there hadn't been time he could spare to stay with them. There were many assignments to do, many deadlines to catch, and they were mostly carried out overseas. There were some days which he returned, but he would never stay for more than three days before he had to leave again.

"Do you want to speak to Lenalee?" Allen asked. There was no reply.

In the Black Order, Komui would always pester her and chase away anyone who dared to have thoughts on her. He was slightly irritating, and sometimes she wished he could just go somewhere else and do not bother her, but now, she was feeling slightly not used to having her brother not at her side. The absence of his voice made her heart emptier than usual.

"Is she around?" Allen turned to Lenalee, only to see her dazed look on her face as she seemed to be lost in her thoughts. He raised his eyebrow, wondering what she was thinking about, but he could guess how she was feeling right now. It was so lonely being alone in a house without the sight of her loved one which gave her security for many years. Allen loosened the grip of the receiver slightly, turning away.

It was the same for him. For many years, he had been trying to forget. His feelings were gradually getting numb after so many painful years, but there would always be an uncomfortable sting lingering at his heart once in a while. He couldn't find any words to describe that type of feeling. It just felt...tight, enough to make him hard to breathe.

"Allen-kun?" Komui questioned.

"Yeah, she is around," Allen answered, staring at a photo album which was left opened. He couldn't push away the urge to flip through the pages, to that particular picture which only had him inside. Allen squeezed his fingers tightly, telling himself countless times that he couldn't do that, yet something inside him was slowly going out of control. The emotions which was repressed was gradually surfacing, and he realised one thing.

Till now, he still missed him. And he missed him so badly.

"Allen?" Alicia was looking at him in puzzlement. Lenalee turned around, looking at him as well. Allen smiled weakly and turned away. It was his fault. He shouldn't behave this way.

"Lenalee, do you want to talk to your brother?" Lenalee looked at Allen in slight doubt, before she nodded her head and walked to him. Allen handed her the receiver, and as she reached out to take it, he redrew his hand quickly and got out of his seat.

"I realise that I haven't finished my assignment yet. I return to my room," Allen said, as he turned and walked up the stairs, disappearing to his room without a word. Lenalee stared at Allen worriedly, but realising that Komui was still on the line, she put the receiver at her ear and gulped nervously.

"Hello?" She did not know what to say, after they had been separated for many months. She had so many things to ask him, yet everything was just forgotten as she was going to engage her conversation with him. Lenalee gripped onto her long skirt anxiously, trying to chase off the nervousness and act normally.

"Lenalee, it's so good to hear your voice again. How have you been?"

"I'm fine, niisan. You?"

"There are still work needed to be done, but no worries, I will be returning back this Christmas."

"I see." Lenalee's eyes slightly widened. She turned towards the window, seeing some remains of frosty white at the transparent frames. The weak sunlight was shining faintly through a distance, and the clouds were constantly passing by, never stopping. It was ten days till Christmas, as she realised how long time had passed.

"How are you, Lenalee? I miss you."

Lenalee opened her mouth, but realised that nothing came out. Her chest was feeling so tight that she felt rather hard to breathe. She was flustered, yet so happy that Komui would be able to come back for Christmas. It had been a long time since she was able to celebrate this special occasion with her loved one. To her, Komui was someone she held so preciously. She had no idea how she should react to the good news.

"Lenalee?" Alicia was blinking at her, and before she knew it, she was crying.

"I...I miss you too, niisan. I miss you," She murmured softly, her hand covering her mouth as the tears streamed down uncontrollably down her face. The frustrations just washed out of her mind instantly, leaving a slight tinge of warmth present in her cold body. It was more than enough. The olive-haired girl slowly sank down on the soft couch, and as she clutched onto the little girl's hand tightly, she broke down, happy at last.

* * *

He was sitting at his room, holding onto his pen and spinning it around his fingers. Allen stared at the tutorial work which he had to hand in to the Literature teacher tomorrow, yet he couldn't find the mood. Allen leaned his head on the papers, letting out a soft sigh as he stared outside the windows.

After leaving Japan and coming to England, he practically had everything that he had wished for. He wished for a decent room with a comfy bed, a desk for him to work on and shelves filled with books of different genres for him to gain knowledge on. He was currently doing his university studies, and he was planning to enter Harvard after he graduated. He had made many friends, and had experienced stuffs that he had not done when he was an Exorcist. It was like his dream had finally been fulfilled, and that he had no more regrets.

Allen got out of his chair and strode his way to his bed. He spun around and sank down onto it, his face looking at the bright ceiling decorated with stickers of stars and the moon which could glow with a luminous green colour at night. Somehow, the light gave him some comfort and reassurance when he was surrounded by darkness. The room wasn't as dull and plain as what he had in the Order's dorm. He was behaving more like a normal teenager boy, and he was glad that he had finally experienced it. Allen peered at the ceiling, reaching his hand out.

Was he finally satisfied? Was he content that everything stayed this way? To be a normal teenager boy and go on with a normal life? Was there no regrets in this decision?

Allen curled up his legs, turning to the direction where he could see the sun clearly. He stared at the faint light shining from above, wondering why the sun could still give out such a bright light even though it was rather far away. The warmth was here, but not enough to warm up his body. He shivered slightly at the cold from the snowstorm yesterday night. It was still so cold in the early afternoon, when the sun was situated at its highest.

Yesterday night, for the first time since they parted ways, he dreamt of him. He just stood in the middle of the snow white ground, the dark raven blue strands colouring the plain white scenery as they were tied into a thin, long ponytail. He couldn't see his face, and the whole vision was blurry. He wasn't even sure if he could touch him with his bare hands. He just knew that he was there.

And from that scene onwards, the feelings, emotions and memories about him all rushed back to him instantly. He could still remember his face features before he left: that frown which was always present, his unspeakable sapphire eyes which shimmered beautifully in the night, the thin lips which made him look more appealing and hard to avoid...

Allen groaned softly, hugging his stomach which started to hurt a little. It had been ten years since he was able to let go, only to feel the pain which made him fall into a dilemma again. The silver-haired teen sat up and got off the bed, walking to the drawer of his desk. As he opened it, a photo was there, something which he cherished a lot, and no one knew about the existence of this photo, and it included that guy which was inside it. It had been months since he looked at it, when he swore that he would never take a look again.

The tightness at his chest was slowly strangling him. Allen breathed out hardly, feeling tears welling up his eyes. When was the last time he cried? He took the photo, holding it close to him. The boy slowly stepped back until he reached the wall, before he slowly slumped down onto the floor weakly.

There was simply no meaning to all of this. He chose this decision, and he was the one who rejected that warm touch on that night. There was no reason to remember such memories anymore. Yet, he just...couldn't. Allen bit his lip, and as the photo was held loosely at his hand hanging at the side, he looked down and covered his horrible face.

_You are just dumb, Moyashi._

_No, I wasn't! I...just forget._

_No, you don't know. Just admit it._

_No, I'm not, and I'm going to prove to you, ..._

"...Kanda," That name slipped out of his mouth, to his slight astonishment. He had never thought of saying it. It had been three years since he said that name.

"Allen?" Allen looked up abruptly, not realising that someone was already standing at the door, and to his astonishment, Lenalee was there. His eyes widened before he covered his mouth, realising that she had heard that word he said.

"Allen, did you just say..." Allen stood up quickly and walked out of the room briskly.

"I need to go out for a breather."

"But, Allen...!" He walked past her, not intending to turn around and answer her question. His head was still downcast when he reached to the basement and strode out of the door, ignoring Alicia who was also calling out for him. As he closed the door behind him, Allen turned and leaned against the door, breathing heavily.

"I'm sorry, Lenalee." He murmured.

Allen entered the streets and soon, he was mixed together with crowds of people who were busily doing their last minute shopping for Christmas. The whole place had the Christmas decorations all over the areas, and carols could be heard everywhere. Allen slipped his hands into his coat and just walked forward aimlessly. What in the world was he doing? Was he running away from the problem? He knew he shouldn't do that to Lenalee and Alicia. They weren't supposed to be inside this complicated mess he created.

He was approached by one stranger who gave him a piece of candy cane for the Christmas season, as well as to promote their candy shop which would be opening on Christmas Eve. Allen smiled and thanked him as he received the candy, walking on. He tore open the transparent wrapper and put the candy in his mouth. It slowly melted inside, giving a slight mint taste.

He looked around the shops, seeing many souvenirs and stuffs sold at discounted prices specially for the season. The whole street was practically crowded, and people came mostly in pairs or in a family group, enjoying the atmosphere as they looked around. Somehow, he felt rather out of place. Was it because he was single? Alone? Was it weird to be single at his age?

Wait, maybe it sounds really strange. He was already nineteen. And he hadn't been on a romantic date before.

Allen turned to another street, and as he walked on, something caught his eye. He approached a particular shop, seeing the accessories displayed at the front. A shimmering silver cross necklace was hung there. His hand touched the cold panes, wanting to get a closer look at it.

"Do you want me to show you the necklace, sir?" A voice startled him as Allen turned to the saleslady standing right beside him. Allen gave an awkward smile, wondering what he should say.

"Um, I'm just looking -"

"This necklace is made from a renowned Japanese maker, and her designs are liked by many people. It makes a great present to give away to your girlfriend during Christmas, and I'm sure you will not regret it." Allen blinked at what she said, flushing slightly.

"I...don't have one." The saleslady gave an astonished look, seemed to be shocked that he did not have a girlfriend at this age. It wasn't surprising to feel this way. He knew this as well. Allen's eyes darted around awkwardly, wondering what he should do.

"I see. How about a present for someone important to you?" She asked. Allen pondered, and after several consideration, thought that giving the necklace to Lenalee wasn't a bad idea. She liked accessories, and he hadn't seen her wear any cross necklace before, though the silver cross seemed to be slightly big for her small neck.

"Okay, I would like to have that necklace."

In the end, he bought the necklace, and Allen smiled and nodded to the saleslady who thanked him politely and called him to visit her place again. He stared at the bag, wondering whether he had made the right choice. It wasn't really suitable for Lenalee, and he did not know many girls whom he could give. Allen sighed as he shook his head, staring at the package.

Allen looked around for the rest of the day, buying presents for his friends on the way. As the sky was darkening, Allen realised that he had to go home soon, or else Lenalee would be worrying for him again. The silver-haired teen walked up the slope with his hands full, squeezing past the crowd as he was going back. As he was about to turn left to enter another street, someone bumped onto him and something slipped off his hand.

"The necklace!" Allen exclaimed. As he stopped and bent down, a hand had already reached out and took the white bag, handling over to him. He blinked in slight bewilderment, before he got hold of the bag. As their hands touched, he swore he felt a slight strange sting.

"Thank you." The street was too crowded. He didn't see his face, their shoulders barely brushed against each other as they parted ways. Allen got his shopping bags and continued his way home, but he couldn't brush away that particular feeling he had when he touched that stranger's hand. That light yet familiar touch felt as if...he had lost it for a long time and it had finally returned to him.

* * *

"I'm home." Allen called out as he opened the door. Alicia ran to him, looking at the shopping bags with curiosity. Lenalee was cooking at the kitchen and turned around as she heard clicks coming from the main door.

"Where have you been, Allen?"

"Buying presents?" Allen wondered whether he should say that. Lenalee just laughed lightly. Alicia's parents came a few minutes later to pick the little girl home. She was literally wailing and whining towards him, wanting to stay a bit longer. Allen smiled and told her to visit them anytime. She sobbed softly as she blinked the watery eyes, giving them a sulking look. Allen's soft side acted, as he reached to her and kissed her forehead lightly. He looked and continued to wave as the family of three disappeared, the door closed behind them. Allen slowly stopped waving, feeling slight emptiness within.

"Allen?" Allen turned towards Lenalee and smiled, though he had no idea why he was doing that. He went to the corner where he left the shopping bags on the floor, taking them all in his hand.

This Christmas, he was going to see them again. Marie, Krory, Miranda, Chouji, General Tiedoll...everyone he knew. They still kept in touch, and promised one another that they would meet one day. It seemed that the day had come. He had many things that he wanted to share with them, and he was sure they felt this way as well. He had always wanted to show his fantastic room to them, boasting to them on how great his life was going. He wanted to spread his happiness to them, and to thank them as well, because without their support in the past, he doubted that he could go this far.

Allen slid the shopping bags at the side of his desk, switching on the heater beside his bed. He took off his brown coat and put it at the chair, before sinking onto his bed and closed his sleepy eyes for a few seconds, before opening them again. His eyes softened with slight pain.

What purpose did he have in buying that necklace? Was it to be given to Lenalee for Christmas? Was it because he fell in love at first sight and bought it out of sheer impulse? Was it because it brought him memories about something? Something...or someone?

Allen gritted his teeth as he covered his face, tears slowly streaming down. He felt so horrible, unable to face himself. He wasn't allowed to think about him, not only because he wanted to bury away the emotions which burnt so painfully inside his chest for so many nights. It wasn't only because of overcoming his emptiness. That little flame was still lit inside his heart, and as long as it still existed, he could never get out. Never.

He was in denial. He had been going round and round in circles, yet there was no answers for him to solve this puzzle. He thought he could keep those heating emotions for eternity, yet it seemed so excruciating to forget someone so important to himself. At that time, he thought that it was best to get out fast, before everything turned wrong. He was the one who walked out first, without any explanation, without any reason. And now, he wanted to get everything back?

Allen stared at the plain walls in front of him, not able to stop the tears from flowing down. He did not want to be like this, but no matter how he wanted to deny, the truth would appear cruelly in front of him one day, and after grieving, he would be left with nothing, nothing to hold onto, nothing to be comforted with. Only an empty shell remained.

There was simply no reason to remember Kanda.

Kanda might be...dead.

**- Colourful Moments -**

"Allen?"

He opened his eyes and groaned softly, feeling groggy all over. Allen blinked, before he saw the face of Lenalee who was looking at him. His legs moved inside the warm covers as he breathed out slowly, feeling barely good. He didn't know what had happened. He just knew that he was thinking of something that he shouldn't think of before he dozed off.

"Why are you here, Lenalee?"

"I...Allen, is something bothering you lately?" She asked, having a frown on her forehead. Allen realised that she had not made this type of depressing face for a while. The last time she showed him this expression was when he cried in his room on that night. She asked for reasons, yet he didn't give her any. It wasn't because he could not tell her, but it was just meaningless, about holding onto something which could never happened. He was so foolish all along.

"Nothing," Allen smiled, but Lenalee's frown had not disappeared. Allen just laughed softly for a few more seconds, before he turned towards the night sky, staring at the shimmering ones above.

"Then...why are the bed sheets wet?" Allen's eyes widened. His hand certainly felt something wet on the bed. The silver-haired teen stiffened instantly, not daring to look at the olive-haired girl's face. His fingers began to tremble shakily as realisation hit him hardly.

Did he just cried?

"Answer me," Lenalee was persistent, her voice turning into a demand; an order which Allen could not defy. She knew that Allen would surely succumb and confess, but to her surprise and slight astonishment, he did not say anything. Her fierce gaze was piercing through him, yet Allen did not answer.

"I don't understand! Why...why are you keeping quiet? Allen!" Lenalee stood in front of him, shooting the fiercest stare she could master. She knew something was definitely amiss. It was the same three years ago, and she thought that by waiting, Allen would tell her one day when he felt comfortable about it. She knew that she shouldn't ask too much from him. After all, she had no right to interfere, yet...she was his friend! Couldn't he rely more on her when he was suffering in pain?

She had seen everything. When she opened the door, Allen was lying on the bed, his face buried on the bed as he started to mutter something, crying softly at the same time. His hand seemed to be clutching at his chest, so she thought that something might have happened to him, but when she came closer, her eyes widened in shock.

_"...Kanda..."_

"Is it about Kanda?" Allen flinched at his sitting position, his eyes widened in horror. Seeing that terrified face stunned her completely. She had not heard of anything that was related to him and Kanda. During the days when they were Exorcists, their communication and relationship had gradually improved. The two of them did not talk much, and every day was the same as usual. They quarrelled over small matters, arguing endlessly, yet they could always manage to end it peacefully. And Allen would never showed this kind of face when Kanda was stated. Rather, he would be angry about it. And now...

"You...miss him?" She asked hesitantly, looking at his expression for answers. Lenalee leaned back slightly, waiting for the loud snap from him. Surprisingly enough, Allen did not rebuke at that particular question which would be certainly insulting if she asked this in the past. She blinked, wondering whether something was wrong with Allen. It was the Kanda Yu she was talking about and no one else! He should jump up and deny her statement, so why wasn't he reacting?

"Ahh, I didn't know you would miss him one day, Allen! When did this start?" Lenalee teased him, trying to ask another question to get more answers from him, yet it was the same thing she got. Allen refused to say anything, and the more he kept quiet, the more she suspected that there was something between the both of them.

"It's nothing, and I...don't miss him." She blinked at the hesitant tone in his voice. Allen got out of the bed and took his sweater, walking out of the room. As Lenalee observed his back which had somehow shrunk, her eyes widened in realisation.

"Allen, you..." Something grabbed his wrist. Allen slowed down his steps as he gradually stopped at the entrance. He did not turn back, and Lenalee opened her lips, wanting to say something, but nothing came out. She bit her lip, gripping his wrist tighter as she fought through this heavy atmosphere which was slowly suffocating her.

"You...Kanda..."

"It's enough. I don't want to hear his name again." Lenalee stopped her sentence and blinked, before looking up at him.

"But then, Allen -!"

"That bastard's existence is none of my business! I don't care whether he's alive or not." Allen yelled as he pushed off her hand and walked out of the room. Lenalee just stood there in silence, not knowing what she should say. It was as if...they went back to that night when Allen pushed her concerns away cruelly. She shook her head and breathed heavily, walking backwards as her back touched the wall. Lenalee covered her face partially, and as she gritted her teeth hardly, tears started streaming down her cold cheeks.

Allen slammed the doors of the cupboard angrily, wondering what in the world he was exactly doing. He wasn't supposed to treat Lenalee this way. He had pushed her away once, leaving her standing there, alone and in despair, and now, he was doing this to her again? The silver-haired teen punched the doors again, before he stopped, staring down at the sink. For what reason was he doing this? Was he playing tantrums, wanting to deny the fact that Kanda was not here and blame everything onto that poor girl who hadn't had the slightest idea to the problem between him and Kanda?

He was the one who stepped out of the space between the two of them. He was the one who chose to run away from the problem which had already surfaced long time ago. That incident should have been forgotten a long time ago, yet he was the one who brought it up, and caused this miserable result. Allen slowly turned around, leaning against the wall as he stared at the lights above.

It wasn't Lenalee's fault. From the very start, it had been his own wishful thinking. He was the one who was being persistent. He was the one who refused to let go of this thread which had already loosened many years ago. He was that foolish, that stupid, that...desperate to grab hold of that older teen and confess everything to him, yet that only chance was already gone. He was the one who lost it. That was his decision.

His eyes softened, as he closed them and let out a soft sigh. He thought that when he denied everything and ran away, everything would be solved. It was the matter of time which would heal all wounds. This was what he was taught and heard of, yet somehow, it did not apply the same to this situation. Wasn't three years enough? Wasn't it enough to forget that small and insignificant flame lit inside his heart?

Allen stared outside, seeing snowflakes descending from the night sky. It had started snowing again, and the process seemed to be never ending. The cold breeze sailed inside the kitchen, making the curtains fluttered roughly. His ears pricked up, realising that the small bell was jingling louder than usual. He slowly walked up to close the windows, but stopped hesitantly as a strong gust of wind blew straight at him, almost causing him to fall onto the floor. Allen braced himself as he walked forward in big and firm steps, his hands reaching out to the handles.

_What a pathetic expression you are showing, Moyashi._

"Kanda..." Allen muttered to himself, his grip tightened at the handles as he closed the windows. As he gazed at the stars in the night sky, he wondered where he was.

* * *

"Stupid. And I'm back here again." He snorted, stepping into a bus stop. The cold air stung his cheeks slightly as he slapped himself lightly with his hands, staring at the night sky which stretched outwards endlessly. He realised that it was snowing. Holding his bag at his shoulder, the raven-haired man just grunted again before he stepped out and walked across the road. His lips opened slightly, as warm air was breathed out.

Snow. It really reminded him of someone.

It had been three years.

"I really hate snow."


	2. Reminiscence

Sorry for the late update everyone! I have been busy dealing with work and now, school : I really have to pull up my grades this time, so I won't be updating for a while. Every stories I wrote here will be put on hold until I can find the time to upload the chapters or...I have more interesting ideas to develop my stories. I already wrote some of the chapters down, just that I did not have the time. Please be patient with me : And if you are angry at the very late updates, blame all on the school and the homework and the projects handed to me.

So as you read on, you will find out that Kanda is...alive! Woohoo! Omg Omg! But our dear Allen still did not know this yet. Will he find out in the future? Read on to find out!

Just to clarify a question that Grigio3Drago, our dear reviewer, has raised (gah, I only replied at this time? Sorry everyone ._. ). There seems to be some mistakes spotted. I just want to tell everyone that this happens three years after the war ended. It is estimated that Allen will be nineteen, Lenalee will be twenty and Lavi and Kanda would be twenty-two. I apologise for the mistakes made. It is really a great help for all of you to point out the mistakes I made. It also helps me check whether I am staying on the right track or writing off the point. Anyway, thank you all for reading! :3

I have promised all of you that I will complete this story by the end of December, so no worries, I will try to update this story as fast as possible. I just hope that I have more free time :

Please point out my mistake if you spotted any! Thank you!

Now, for the next chapter! Read on and review~

PS There will be OOC starting from this chapter onwards. Please do not kill me, but it is necessary. You don't expect them to be the same after all these years right? After the war and the experiences they encountered, their personalities will definitely change a little as they grow up. I wouldn't make it till it was totally OOC, just a slight change in their behaviours. I will definitely not make Allen _extremely _weak or Kanda _extremely _emotional. Hope this answered your doubts if you think there are certain parts which you think is OOC :3

* * *

**Chapter 2: Reminiscence**

The sound of water splashes could be heard, the people walking across the streets as the vehicles drove along the road in the late morning. It had rained earlier on, but gradually stopped as the clouds had moved away from the city.

It seemed to hard to imagine, that the wrecked city filled with collapsed buildings, broken homes and dead bodies all over the place ever since the war started, had changed so much within years. Now, it looked as if nothing had happened, and that people had returned to their usual routines.

Frankly, he was not really used to it.

He took a deep breath, coming out into the open as he stared at the deep-blue sky above.

It had been such a long time since he visited England. Everywhere looked so nostalgic, though there were many places which he couldn't remember anymore.

Kanda took out his camera and took a picture of the whole city, looking around. The whole country seemed to have changed completely. Now, he was standing at a particular street which was previously a thin road leading to the nearest town from the Black Order. The tall building should be situated around here, though he couldn't recall where it was. The 21-year-old raven-haired adult lowered down his camera, staring at a dark, dirty brown clock situated in the middle of the road. That was the only thing which he remembered, and till now, it was still there, reminding people of the time that was slowly slipping away.

He had been visiting many countries, seeing many different places which inspired him a lot. He had learnt different cultures and had obtained skills along the way. Not only he could wield his swords like in the olden days, he could cook a perfect plate of Japanese soba. He had graduated in a university with a certificate in design. Now, he was a full-fledged designer, travelling all over the world to obtain good pictures for his next integrated project.

Kanda walked around the street, taking his time to observe the city's activities in the day. Some old shops still existed, while others had already closed down, mostly because of the heavy war battles years ago. Now, everything was turning back to normal. People were leading their own lives, doing the things that they wanted to do, and had not done before. It was the same as him.

In the past, he was a rather stubborn one. He hated listening to advice and liked to act in his own ways. He thought that having his sword and the skills would be more than enough in his lifetime, but it was because he thought he was dying and he hadn't considered much at that time. There wasn't any reason to plan further if there wasn't any future for him. But unexpectedly, he survived, and when the war was over, and when he stepped out of the Order which acted like prison, free at last, he realised that there were so many things which he really wanted to do. He had been imprisoned by the job as an Exorcist for so long, that he failed to realise his goals. Now that he thought about it, he always threw away his life too easily.

_Don't throw away your life so easily! Don't you have anything that you want to accomplish in your life? Don't you have anything that you want to fight for? It does not necessarily have to do with being an Exorcist!_

Kanda stopped for a moment. That voice just...came into his mind so easily, ringing in his head again and again. He hated to admit it, but he was glad that he chided him with those words. The sentences hit him hard, like he had finally understand the whole meaning to it, to what he was implementing at that time. It was thanks to him, that he was standing here, having aims in his life. He was leading his life to the fullest, not sitting somewhere being obstinate.

He entered a shop. The small bell jingled softly as the glass door slowly closed. Kanda looked around, seeing many accessaries and bags displayed inside the glass case and at the side of the shop.

Christmas was approaching. General Tiedoll, Marie and Chaoji were currently staying in England as well. He heard that the old man was too reluctant to leave the town that he had stayed for years since the war started. Chaoji started a business here, and Marie was going to leave after Christmas for a business seminar. He thought of visiting them, though he wondered whether he had the time. The deadline for handling his assessment was approaching, and he needed to rush back to Canada to finish his task.

"Do you want to buy something here, sir?" The lady tending the shop went to him.

"I'm just looking," He replied. He looked across the glass cases, and something caught his eye. It was a pair of plain brown woollen gloves. Kanda stared at them as something came across his mind.

_"Why are you only wearing a glove at your left hand?"_

_"It's...my Innocence. The parasite Inncence weapon."_

"Sir?" Kanda blinked, before turning to face the lady.

"Can you help me pack this pair of gloves?" She nodded her head before getting them out of the glass case. As Kanda continued to look around, he wondered why he bought them in the first place. Was it because of that memory which appeared in his dreams countless times? At this, he shook his head.

"Here is your package, sir. Please come back again."

The small bell attached at the glass door jingled faintly as Kanda stepped out of the shop, a paper bag at his left hand. He let out a sigh, before staring at the bag he was holding.

"Why did I buy this?" He wondered. He wasn't expecting someone to appear in his mind at this question. Kanda frowned, pondering about this. There could be many reasons, but it couldn't, and would definitely not because of remembering those memories with him! He wasn't that type of person who would think of someone continuously, and it would simply be ridiculous. No matter how he thought, that person should be the last one to be concerned about.

"Excuse me." Kanda turned and saw a young couple standing beside him. The guy looked at him hesitantly, before stepping up and handed him a camera.

"Can you...help us take a picture?"

Kanda took the camera, slightly astonished by the sudden approach. He took the camera carefully by his slender fingers and stepped backwards, his eyes focusing on the screen. Even though the picture that he was going to take was not his work, he would put in his best effort to take a perfect one, not allowing a single, tiny mistake. That was his motto, whether it was work or personal. He found a good position and stopped, getting ready to snap the picture.

"Ready?" The young couple started to smile sweetly in front of the camera lens. Their eyes shone beautifully in the sun, enough to stun him slightly. He almost forgot that they were just people who were asking a favour from him. He stared at the screen, before staring at the couple for a while, feeling a tinge of emptiness for a split second.

What was he thinking?

"Um..." The man was waving at him. Kanda came out of his daze and realised that he had to take the picture. As he pressed down, something white flashed right at his eyes, blinding him slightly. He realised he had forgotten to switch off the flash mode. He stared at their faces in the picture, thinking that it was still okay. After looking more closely, he spotted a blurred shadow of a stranger taken inside as well. He frowned.

"There is someone inside. Should I take another picture for the two of you?" The couple just smiled and shook their heads.

"It's okay. Thank you." Kanda nodded his head and returned the camera back to them. As they walked away, he could see smiles on their faces. He turned around slowly, realising that he was not focused at all. The raven-haired adult slipped his hands into the pockets of his brown coat as he started to walk, deep into thoughts. As he reached a lamppost, he stopped. His mind returned back to the photo he had taken.

Something caught his eye just now. The stranger's hair was...silvery grey.

_...silver?_

_

* * *

_

"Hello Allen!" The door opened as Allen entered the store. He smiled at the uncle standing at the counter.

"Hello uncle! How have you been?" He asked, helping him to sort out the goods. The uncle smiled back at him, as they began to chat between themselves happily. The silver-haired teen took a bottle of mineral water and opened the refrigerator, putting it inside. The assistants came out, and he greeted them as always, with a cheerful smile at his lips.

"So, how's your education so far? Can you keep up?"

"I think so. I hope I can pass the final examinations this November!" Allen replied.

"Of course you will! You are a genius!" Allen blushed slightly for the flattery. He laughed sheepishly, like a small child who was content with the smallest compliment.

"I'm not, Uncle Stephen!"

"Yes, you are, niisan! You helped me in my Mathematics homework, though you are better in Literature. Thanks to your advice, I have been improving!" Allen turned, looking at a teenage girl who was the same age as him. She stared at him and gave a warm smile in return, her golden eyes twinkling in his direction.

"I'm glad. Keep it up!" Allen said as he rubbed her head playfully, the two of them bursting into laughter. They continued to talk and sort out the goods. The silver-haired teen offered to look after the shop and tend to their customers while they went for their dinner. He did not intend to go back yet, because Lenalee would be out tonight, and Komui would only be back probably by next week. It wasn't really pleasant staying at an empty house with no one around, thus it would be better to find himself something to do.

He took out his notes and started studying. At this time, he felt cold wind blowing at his face, as the door was opened. The first customer arrived, walking to the back of the shelves. He couldn't see the person rather clearly as his back was facing him, but he greeted nonetheless. After that, he returned back to his books.

The shuffles of the boots could be heard from a distance, and frankly speaking, it was slightly disturbing. Allen looked up from his notes occasionally, wondering when he could bring the products that he wanted to buy to the counter. He knew it wasn't right to hurry the customers to purchase their things quickly. Allen flicked his pencil between his fingers, feeling a little frustrated.

He began to stare at the shadow cast on the floors. As the light at the floors was slowly disappearing, he realised that someone was approaching the counter, probably from that customer who first entered the shore. Allen put his books and stationary aside hurriedly, getting ready to serve him or her. As he saw the basket being put rather quietly on the counter, Allen's eyes widened slightly at a beautiful white bracelet worn on his left wrist which looked so familiar.

"Thank you so much for helping us, niisan! Now it's our turn! Please go and have your dinner!" He did not know what happened. He only knew he was being pushed towards the door, and after a few minutes, he was standing outside, dazed.

"What happened?" He wondered. The silver-haired teen slowly turned around, and as he faced the door, someone walked out and turned to the left, disappearing into the darkness. He went inside, wanting to help, but was chased out again, this time with his notes and books.

"You should stay at home and study. Work hard, Allen. I'm sure you can do well," Uncle Stephen said and patted his shoulders, before returning to the store. Allen just blinked, before he smiled and proceeded to the bus stop. As he stood there and waited, a gust of cold wind blew right at his face, making him shiver. Allen sneezed and rubbed his hands, peering at the dark sky. He regretted not wearing an extra clothing inside in this type of cold weather.

The night was peaceful and tranquil. As it was rather late, there were only a few vehicles travelling along the road, probably on their way home. No one would be staying up late in such harsh weather which was torturing them. Allen turned, seeing a couple whispering something quietly to each other, before they laughed softly. He turned away, slightly embarrassed. He knew this wasn't surprising, yet as he flushed, memories of him started coming back. He hugged his books tightly as he closed his eyes, not wanting to think too much.

_"When we step out of this place, we are finally free. Right, Allen?" Lenalee was walking with him as they were meeting Komui at the gates. Everything was cleared out and their belongings were at their hands. The Black Order was going to be disbanded today, and after today, the happenings here would soon be forgotten._

_"Yeah, Lenalee." She nodded her head as she started to skip, probably because she was looking forward to this day. Of course, he was happy for her, and he should be happy for himself. He, who was cursed, should be dead in the battlefield, yet he still managed to survive, though he shouldn't. He stared in front, realising that they were approaching the destination soon._

_Soon..._

_"Allen..." He wished to turn around, to say that he had forgotten something in his room, and want to retrieve it before he come with them. He couldn't lose it, because it was very important to him, one which he treasured more than his very own life. _

_"It's Kanda." But he had to stop lying to himself. It was something which he had already let go. He couldn't get it back. _

_"Where would you be going, Kanda?" Allen stopped in his tracks, hearing Lenalee's voice getting softer as she went to the raven teen. His head was downcast, and at this instant, he realised that he was dreading this moment. He was running away because of this. _

_Because of him._

_"Moyashi." That voice echoed softly in his mind. He gripped his bag and walked towards the two of them. As he reached the raven-haired teen, he stopped, standing beside him. He knew he had to decide now. It was something that he couldn't turn back anymore, no matter how much he wanted to. No matter how much he wanted the situation to change, it was impossible. _

_They had to part ways. They had to._

_"Goodbye..." He opened his lips. Then, he took off and stepped out, before he murmured another word softly, tears welling up his eyes._

_"...Kanda."_

The windows were opened, as he gazed outside aimlessly. The bus continued its way as it drove in the expressway. There were only a few passengers inside. No one said a word, the whole place so silent that he wished someone could just say some random stuff to break it. His head leaned against the glass, feeling the night breeze touching his cold face gently, like there was someone stroking his cheeks.

It was too dark to read anything in the bus, and he did not have the mood to concentrate either. It had been three whole years, yet there wasn't a single moment when he did not start thinking of Kanda. He was confused with those emotions himself. He started wondering what they actually meant. What made him so attracted to that raven-haired teen, so much till it could not get out of his mind? No doubt that Kanda's childhood was almost the same as him. They were in the same situation, and through that, they understood each other very well. He hated Kanda's arrogance, yet he did not want him to get hurt.

Till now, he had been asking the same question himself.

Why? Why would he think of that?

The journey was getting slightly bumpy, as the bus was entering the next district. He flicked open his cellphone, realising that it was already nine. Lenalee should be home by then, and she was going to lecture him for being home so late again. Allen rubbed his head as he breathed out, a swirl of warm vapour escaping into the cold air. He buttoned his dark brown winter coat fully as he pressed the bell. The bus gradually stopped as it opened its doors. He slowly stepped outside, feeling the coldness stinging the sides of his cheeks. He rubbed his freezing hands, blowing puffs of warm air to warm them.

He stared at the sky. The empty scenery looked so solemn and so depressing all of a sudden. Allen touched his chest, feeling emptiness within. Does winter always let people have this feeling of loneliness all the time? The descending snowflakes were so beautiful, yet this brought him a saddened feeling which he couldn't shake away.

After all these years, he felt so tired. He wished that every of these would end, that he would forget and the weight lingering at his chest would disappear. He had hoped many times, and grieved many times till he couldn't remember. Those memories ran in his head repeatedly before he slept every night. But he knew all of these wouldn't last forever. He wasn't happy either, because he was gradually forgetting some of the details in his memory, and he started to fear that he would forget everything about him completely.

Now, he did not want to ask for more, just a few memorable moments which marked their unspoken and complicated friendship.

* * *

Lenalee was pacing around the living room, looking at the clock once in a while. She shouldn't act like this because Allen was already past eighteen, yet she was still worried. Allen came home late once in a while, but this was the very first time he hadn't come back yet, and it was already ten minutes past ten. The olive-haired girl had called Uncle Stephen, knowing that he would stop there every day to help the old man, yet he said Allen had gone off quite a while ago.

"Allen, where could you be?" She muttered, getting anxious as every second passed by. The silver-haired teen had been preoccupied by something lately as well, which was another reason why she was worried about him. After so many years, she did not want Allen to be miserable again. The twisted face expression that she saw that night...was the very last thing that she wanted to see.

She turned towards the sofa, seeing a photo album that was left opened. She walked towards it, seeing pictures taken when they were still Exorcists. She knew Allen cherished them a lot, because they meant everything to him. The Black Order was once his home, and these people who created memories with him were once his family and friends. Everyone was carrying happy faces, leaving a happy story behind their smiles. Lenalee laughed softly as she saw a particular picture of Allen being chased by Komurin.

As she flipped the page, she was slightly stunned to only see a pair of boots taken. They looked new. She looked at the picture beside it, and saw Lavi's smile with a V sign formed from his fingers. Lenalee shifted her gaze around, slightly uncomfortable. This was the first photo that only had Lavi's face on it and frankly, if she didn't see this photo, she would have forgotten his features partially.

She sighed as her hand touched his face of the photo. Like Kanda, they hadn't been in touch for the last three years when they parted ways. She didn't get to see Lavi for the last time before they left. Lavi wasn't...there.

The olive-haired girl shook her head and stood up, leaving the photo album by the sofa. She walked to the balcony, taking in a deep breath of fresh air to clear her head. Lavi was her close friend, someone who had comforted her many times when they were still in the Order. He had helped her countless times, putting his life on the line. She felt guilty about it, though he was not only saving her but anyone who needed help.

She really wanted to thank him for everything that he had done for her throughout the years. She really wanted to, yet he wasn't here anymore. Maybe, Lavi did not exist anymore. After all, it was only an alias, something which represented him temporarily. She remembered that Lavi had no real name, because he abandoned it. She probably won't get to see him again.

And because of that alias, because of being part of the Bookman clan, he pushed her away. She had always known that he was lying all along. She hated everything about his past and the Bookman clan, because they stole Lavi away. They robbed his feelings and emotions, slowly turning him into an emotionless person. Lavi wasn't Lavi at all. Lavi couldn't smile that naturally, not because he wouldn't, but he couldn't, and because of this, Lavi was slowly slipping away.

_But you have understood all along, Lenalee. You knew it._

Somehow, her chest hurt. Lenalee blinked, staring at the night sky. She wanted to erase them completely, yet there was something which could never be removed, no matter how she tried to.

"Lavi..." Lenalee murmured softly, warm air escaped from her lips. It was simply wrong to call him that. The redhead might have...another name by then. If she spotted him across the streets, he might not recognise her because she called the wrong name. She shook her aching head, feeling flustered. She was confused by her own emotions.

Lavi had made his stand so clearly, and it hurt her so badly, yet she wasn't feeling angry. There was only a weird, aching feeling remained, and sometimes, it felt so unbearable that it was suffocating her slightly.

Suddenly, she heard some shuffles in the darkness. Lenalee stepped back, wondering what that was.

"Who is it?"

No one answered. The only thing she knew was that it was getting closer to where she was. Lenalee bit her lip, gripping onto the nearest pillar as fear started to sink in.

"Is it Allen? Don't do this. It isn't funny at all." Her voice was getting shaky, her body trembling with fear. She hated ghost stories since young, and she still hated them now. She just wished that whoever was doing this would stop.

"Allen? Is that you?"

The shuffles slowly reached the stairs, as she heard the slow creak of the wood echoing the whole place. She knew she just had to run away from here, yet her legs refused to move a muscle. She was terribly scared, wondering what would happen to her when a burglar entered her house. No one would be there to protect her. No one...

_Lenalee._

Suddenly, she felt something warm on her shoulder. She jumped, startled.

"Lenalee, it's me! I thought of scaring you, but I didn't know you would have a big reaction over it." Allen said, laughing softly. Lenalee just blinked, still recovering from the shock.

"Is it?"

"Anyway, why are you standing here? You know the weather's getting cold. You might fall sick," Allen said, before he realised that something was wrong. He stared at the olive-haired girl who hadn't scolded him yet.

"Lenalee?"

"Are you the one who made the noise below?" She asked. Allen just blinked in bewilderment.

"What noise?" She turned around, showing an angry face for the first time.

"This isn't funny, Allen!" Lenalee exclaimed, walking past Allen as she went back into the house, leaving the silver-haired teen standing there, stunned. She went upstairs and into her room, slamming the door behind her. The olive-haired girl then sank onto her bed, wiping away the remaining tears in her eyes. She rarely got angry, especially at Allen. Yet, she knew it wasn't the younger teen's fault. She shouldn't have shouted at him. It was all because of those memories and the nostalgic feeling she had the moment she heard someone calling her name. It was as though..._he _was the one calling her.

She grimaced, tears started welling up her eyes again. She felt so bad at herself, treating Allen like this. At that moment, the person she thought was scaring her was Lavi and not Allen. She thought it was him, only to feel the pain of disappointment when she realised that he wasn't here all along.

"What am I doing..." She murmured to herself, covering her forehead.

It was morning, and the two of them did not say anything to each other since yesterday night. Lenalee was preparing breakfast as usual, and Allen was packing his bag, getting ready for work. Everything seemed to be normal, but the atmosphere was too weird.

Allen looked at her once in a while, observing her expressions. Lenalee's face was blank, signs of anger left long ago. She looked almost the same, but something was disturbing him greatly. He wanted to ask what happened yesterday and the reason she was crying alone at the balcony. The last time she cried was when they were at battle, which was years ago.

He approached the table, where Lenalee was putting down plates of bread and glasses of milk. She noticed him as she stared at him with a rather cold gaze. Allen paused for a moment, slightly hesitant. She then looked away and walked back to the kitchen. He sighed as he pulled the chair and sat down, eating his breakfast. The whole atmosphere was so tense that he did not know how to bring it out to her.

"Um..."

Lenalee slammed the newspaper on the table, startling him. Allen blinked as she sat down on the chair and took it up calmly, flipping over the pages. He looked downwards, getting a little hesitant. He had never seen Lenalee so angry before. He did not really understand. He just wanted to give a tap on her shoulder when she was practically staring into space. Was she still angry at that?

"Um, Lenalee..."

His cellphone rang. Allen sighed, wondering who that person was who was calling at the wrong time. He stole a glance at the other, before picking it up.

"Hello?"

"Is this Allen Walker?" Allen slowly excused himself from the table and walked to the balcony.

"Yes. Who is it?"

"Can't you recognise my voice, Allen-kun?"

"Huh?" Allen blinked, before realisation hit him. His eyes slowly widened.

"General...Tiedoll?"

"I'm not a general now. Just call me Froi." A hearty chuckle was heard from the phone. Allen felt slightly confused. He wasn't used to calling a general by his own name, but that was already in the past.

"Yes, Froi-san. I'm really surprised that you called me. How did you know my phone number?" He asked.

"Komui gave it to me. You must have heard of the Christmas party whereby all of us would be gathered together once again right?"

"Yeah." It had been so long since they parted ways. Now, after three years, they were going to meet again. Till now, he had been feeling jittery over this. What should he talk about to them at their very first meeting? No doubt the whole situation would be slightly awkward because of the large time gap, but he was very glad that this party was organised.

"Is that General Tiedoll?" Lenalee went to him and asked. Allen nodded his head.

"Is that Lenalee's voice?"

"Yeah. Currently we are living together."

"Oh. Anyway, can you help me check who would be coming for the party?"

"Um...yes?" Allen spoke slowly, getting slightly hesitant. Lenalee noticed this as she stood beside him.

"Good. Komui's currently overseas, so I have a lot of work to do. Your help is greatly appreciated. Can you come to my house and collect the list?" Allen was pacing around the living room, before he walked towards the counter and got himself a paper and a pen.

"Okay. What is your address?" Allen nodded his head as he wrote down, before he ended the call. He turned towards Lenalee and gave a soft sigh. She smiled in return.

"We can finally be together." She murmured softly. Allen wasn't very sure how he should reply. He turned and as he leaned lightly against the glass doors, he gazed at the city and the activities displayed below him. He should be happy but somehow, his mood was not lifted up in the slightest. Rather, he felt like he was going to suffocate soon as the day approached.

"Is it? Anyway I have to rush for work now. I will give him a visit after I got off from work." Allen replied, grabbing his bag as he ran towards the door and went out, closing it behind him. Lenalee stood there silently, not saying a word. She already knew why Allen was making such a hurtful expression for the whole time. Even if he did not mention it, she somehow had already guessed it.

It was so hard to grasp hold onto something which had long slipped away.

* * *

Kanda was inside the tram, proceeding to that old man's house which was rather faraway. As his left hand was gripping onto the railing, his other hand was holding onto a map, as well as a small slip of white paper which had the address written on it. He glanced at it for a while, before looking at the names of the streets he had passed by, making sure he was at the right places. He could have taken a cab, but the fee was expensive, and his money was gradually running low from buying the resources that he needed for his project.

The whole old vehicle was shaking rather violently throughout the journey, making his headache worse as every second went by, but he was already used to this type of situation. He couldn't complain like he did in the past, because everything had already changed, though he was slightly irritated.

The tram was currently passing by a large district, filled with many people. It reduced its speed as it stopped for passengers to board. The whole place was getting so narrow that he couldn't even read his map at the same time. Kanda grunted as he folded it nicely and slipped it into his bag. The wind whistled softly into his ears, ringing melodiously in his mind. The sound reminded him of the bell which was in the training room. It also produced similar soft sound as the wind.

"Excuse me, miss."

The voice was from an old lady, and she talked rather loud, which felt disturbing for him who liked peaceful places, but this was a public transport and not a typical garden. Kanda ignored it and looked elsewhere.

"Excuse me, miss."

The voice got extremely louder, to his slight displeasure. Kanda shifted a little from his position, feeling some slight pushes from the crowd. It was really rude to do that. Hadn't that old lady have any manners? It really reminded him of that old man he had known for many years. He always had that stupid face expression on his face, which really annoyed him.

There was a rather hard tap on his shoulders. He turned, and to his astonishment, realised that the old lady was staring hardly at him. Everyone inside was also giving him weird and accusing stares, thinking that he shouldn't be rude and ignore that pitiful old lady. But Kanda couldn't even understand what the hell was about.

"Yes?" He asked, frowning.

"Yes? Miss, I have been calling you for a while. Why didn't you answer? I didn't know there are such rude young people around these days."

Kanda raised his eyebrow, before he realised what this commotion was all about. And he was certainly not pleased.

"I say, how can you treat an old lady like this, young miss?" Kanda took in a deep breath, trying to suppress his anger at that ignorant old lady who had totally mistaken everything. As far as he had known ever since he was borne into this world, he was a male and not a...female.

"Madam, as far as I know, I am NOT a miss."

"No, you are definitely a miss." She insisted.

"Madam, I'm not a miss. I'm a guy." Kanda tried to explain, but that ignorant old lady insisted that he was a female, pointing to him that he had long beautiful hair similar to a fair maiden. He was already slightly pissed. All these misunderstandings was because of his...hair?

"No, I have already told you madam, I'm a ..."

"Madam, he's definitely a guy. You have mistaken him." A voice came from behind. Kanda stopped and looked at the direction where it came from.

"And how do you know that?" She asked. There were shuffles heard at the back, as everyone was moving aside. He could hear the low sound of the boots echoing through the silent surrounding, before someone emerged out of the crowd, standing in front of him. The person slowly grinned, adjusting the cap on his head.

"That is because...I know him." Kanda's eyes slowly widened.

"Lavi?" The redhead only smiled, before he called to the driver that he wanted to alight at the next stop. As the tram slowly went to a halt, he pulled Kanda down before the raven-haired teen could react.

"What are you...doing, you stupid rabbit?" Kanda growled, slapping off his hand as they stopped by the roadside. Lavi stopped as well, breathing heavily as he couldn't stop laughing.

"No, Yuu. I mean, seriously...you have not changed one bit since we left the Order! You still look...more beautiful than before." Kanda heard that forbidden word and wanted to slap that stupid head of his, only to miss as Lavi tilted his body slightly and dodged it easily.

"Are you going to hit me at our first meeting? That's so mean, Yuu! We are friends, you know!" Lavi whined, showing puppy eyes to the other. Kanda just pushed that disgusting face away from his sight and walked forward.

"I don't remember being friends with you in the first place, usagi." Lavi only pouted in reply. Kanda shifted his sling bag by his shoulder, wondering what he should do. That stupid redhead had disrupted his whole journey. He did not even know where he was now! At this thought, he hissed in slight frustration.

"Are you going somewhere, Yuu-chan?" Lavi asked, tilting his head to look closely at him.

"Yeah, and thanks to you, I don't even know where I am." Kanda sighed as he took down his brown-coloured winter newsboy cap, running his fingers through the thick streads of loose hair and put it on again. The two of them walked silently through the thick crowd. The raven teen peered at Lavi, wondering how he knew he was here.

"When did you get here, Lavi?"

"Me? Um, about a while ago. I was deciding to look around the beautiful England before meeting up with Panda Gramps at the hotel at four. But I did not expect to meet you inside the tram." Kanda just snorted in reply. What beautiful England?

"Ne, Yuu. When I spotted you just now, frankly, I was slightly stunned. It was like...you are completely different from the Yuu in the past." Kanda peered at him, silent. Lavi chuckled softly as he breathed in, looking at the cloudy sky above.

"I'm really glad that I can meet you after all these years! It just felt so nice." He turned and gave his usual smile as always. Kanda turned away and looked in front.

"You look different too, usagi." He said. Receiving no reply from the other, Kanda turned, and was slightly astonished to see that touched teary expression Lavi was making. Was the redhead so elated at hearing his comments this much? Now that he remembered, he hadn't been nice to anyone.

"Really?" Kanda hissed as he pushed away that tearful face Lavi was making, sighing. Deep inside, he was slightly glad to meet Lavi here. That stupid redhead had also changed throughout the years. His hair was still dyed red, but it had lengthened to his shoulders. The hairband wasn't there anymore, his long fringe led down as it covered part of his face. Somehow, he looked a little muscular as well.

"Yuu?"

"Stop calling me that!" Kanda snapped in annoyance, glaring hardly at him. Lavi started laughing again. They stopped by a coffee cafe, as Lavi queued up to buy two cups of hot and refreshing coffee for the two of them. Kanda was standing at the side, folding his arms as he waited. The cafe was rather crowded, everyone with many bags as they prepared for Christmas. He grunted as he closed his eyes. What a waste of time.

"Yuu, have you met anyone beside me?"

"No. Have you?"

"Same. I wonder how everyone is doing right now. I really miss them!" Lavi said, looking at the menu above.

"Really?" Kanda said rather softly, looking around at these people who might be someone he had known before. He was rather relieved that no one here was someone he had known in the past. He wondered why he felt so hesitant in identifying them. He admitted that he hated crowds and hated socialising with them, but why was he reacting this way, like he was trying to avoid someone he did not want to see...

_Avoid?_

"Yuu? Yuu!" Kanda blinked as he stared at the redhead who had bought the coffee. He nodded his head as they exited from the cafe. They looked around as they sipped the hot drink. Lavi pulled him around, showing him many things in the busy market, but he wasn't really interested, though he should, which might help in his project. He looked at the scenery and took out his camera, wanting to take a picture of it, but as he was about to snap it, he stopped.

He saw someone walking past him. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, looking again. No one was there.

"Yuu?" Lavi asked, beside him. Kanda shook his head slightly and took it, hanging his camera around his neck. They came across an opening, whereby there was a rather old and ancient clock situated in the middle. People, mostly couples, were sitting on white benches, whispering and giggling to one another. The raven-haired teen just stared, before he slowly took his camera and looked at the screen, ready to take another picture.

"Hey, wait for me!"

His finger was going to press the button, taking everything down. As someone dashed out, there was a white flash of light. Time seemed to stall for seconds, before it started moving again.

"Yuu?"

He continued to stare at the screen, hearing footsteps. He slowly took down his camera, his eyes staring at someone a few metres across who looked so similar to the teenager whom he had met many years ago, etched deeply in his memory.

"Okay! Hurry up!"

Kanda's eyes went wide, shocked and slightly shaken. That boy's hair was...silvery grey.

_Allen?_


	3. Coincidence

Hi everyone I am so busy that I have no time to look through this chapter, so do forgive me when you spotted some okay? :P I'm sorry that it came rather late. Enjoy and remember to review!

* * *

**Chapter 3: Coincidence**

"Yuu? What's wrong, Yuu?" Lavi asked, seeing his weird face expression. Kanda just stood there, stunned on the spot. He turned and looked at where he was seeing, but the only thing he saw was people and nothing else. What exactly had caught his attention just a few seconds ago?

Meanwhile, Kanda did not know what to do. He was still seeing him from a distance. He was just there, laughing with someone beside him. He wasn't sure whether it was him. He had the same greyish hair, and he still looked short. He couldn't notice his red scar very clearly from his current position. He looked so similar to him, yet he wasn't certain. It wasn't as if he wanted to see him that much...

"Sorry!" Someone was approaching him, riding his bicycle at high speed. Lavi pulled him away in a nick of time before the two of them collided. The redhead apologised to the person, before looking at Kanda who still had that blank look on his face. It had been a long time since he saw that face expression, and he wondered why.

"Yu, what's wrong with you?"

Kanda stumbled backwards, feeling the wind rushing through him as the bicycle went past, but his eyes were still onto that figure who might be someone he knew. He lowered down his camera, his hands slowly clenching as he took a step forward. The whole place was getting noiser, yet everything was thrown out of his head. The only important thing he had in mind was this person who resembled so much of him. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't.

He couldn't take his eyes off him. From the moment he saw him, those memories from that particular night rushed back to him. It was strange, for him to remember something so insignificant in his life...or was it significant to him, just that he did not notice it? But no matter what, he felt like running towards him and asked why he did that on that night. Why did he leave, showing such a complex face expression that he couldn't understand, even till now?

Why was he getting more difficult to understand? Why was he caught in...that complicated emotions?

Kanda took another step, and another step. He started to walk, getting faster as he walked towards that figure. Lavi followed him, not understanding what was going on here.

"Yu, where are you going?"

He did not understand either. Right now, he just needed answers.

He started to run. He was slowly disappearing from his sight. Kanda couldn't allow that, as he sprinted across the crowd which was getting bigger, congesting the whole street. He pushed around, muttering an apology to passersby as he looked around. He seemed to be there, yet he vanished immediately. Kanda hissed in frustration, getting out of this annoying crowd as he stopped.

"Yu...what...are you looking for?" Lavi panted, coming to his side, but before he could get to rest, Kanda started moving again, searching.

_"No, um...I just come here," _

_"Aren't you supposed to be at the party?"_

_"Yes."_

_"I see."_

"Where the hell are you?" Kanda hissed.

_"Where are you heading from tomorrow onwards?"_

_"Not sure. Probably returning back to Japan."_

_"I see. That's good! You must have missed your hometown a lot right? After all, you have not gone back for years."_

_"No." _

Kanda searched through many people, yet it wasn't him. They had gone through the whole market which was already swarmed with many people. The chance of finding him would be very slim, and maybe it was simply impossible to find him now, yet he wasn't going to give up at the very last moment, because this was what he taught him. He taught him not to give up.

_"I see!"_

_"Why are you acting so strange today, Moyashi?" _

_"I...don't know." _

At first, he wasn't very sure what he had seen, because the whole place was dark and his face wasn't in the direction of the moonlight. He couldn't see what expression he was making at that time. He couldn't figure out that uneasy feeling which settled at his chest at that instant when he said those words.

_"Sorry."_

"Allen!" He shouted. Kanda slowly stopped, finding himself at a bus stop. He put his hand at the pole as he gasped and panted heavily, catching his breath. His hair was damp and wet from the running. He growled, taking down his cap as he brushed through his hair. He couldn't believe he was chasing after someone whom he shouldn't have noticed, and he might not be him either. Kanda continued panting, covering his heated face with his hand.

"Yuu...what did you say just now?" Kanda looked at Lavi who had an astonished look on his face. He closed his eyes and turned away.

"Nothing."

"No, I definitely heard you say something! What did you say? Is it -"

"I made a mistake!" Kanda shouted, attracting some attention from the public. Lavi stopped talking, slightly taken aback by his reaction. The raven teen just stared back at him, before he sighed, wondering what he was exactly doing. Till now, that hurtful face expression he had did not disappear from his head. His eyes narrowed, walking over to a tree as he slammed his fist hardly on the tree trunk.

It hurt. He wasn't even sure whether it was because of the wound. All he knew was that it hurt so badly that he was slightly overwhelmed by the pain for that moment. He glared at his hand fiercely, as though he was facing the enemy in the past, but he couldn't explain to himself why he suddenly lost control over his emotions.

"Yuu, what are you doing?" Lavi went over to him and grabbed his wrist, preventing him from slamming again. He looked at the bleeding wound closely, realising that it was only bruises. The wound was tiny as well, so little blood was lost. The redhead sighed, before looking at the obstinate one thinking that everything was alright.

"What exactly are you thinking, Yuu? You might break your fingers if you continue knocking like that. Do you want to lose your career?" Kanda turned towards him, a slight astonished look on his face.

"How did you know?" Lavi just grinned and pointed to his head.

"Because I'm once a Bookman?" He said. Kanda almost wanted to smack that useless brain of his. Lavi laughed, his low and lively voice echoing throughout the place. It somehow took off some of his frustration inside him as well. Kanda peered at him from the corner of his eye, and couldn't help but chuckle softly.

"Ah, did you chuckle just now, Yuu?" Lavi exclaimed, turning towards him. Kanda choked and coughed awkwardly, pretending to look elsewhere and think that nothing had happened. Lavi raised his eyebrow, sensing something fishy in this.

"Yuu-chan..." He spoke very slowly, dodging Kanda's fist as he blinked his eyes a few times.

"You do not have Mugen with you anymore. I'm not scared of you." Lavi stuck out his tongue playfully. Kanda just growled softly before he started heading to the bus stop. He couldn't stand his nonsense and jokes at this moment. His heart pounded hardly at the image of the silver-haired teen that he had just seen with his own eyes.

"Your hand needs to be treated!"

"There is no need to. It's not even serious."

"Ah, there's blood! I swore that blood is oozing out of your wound now! It's so, so disgusting!" Lavi exclaimed rather loudly.

"Shut up, rabbit. You are too noisy."

"No, I'm not lying, Yu! Ah, a rather big pool of blood has formed on the ground! Ah, someone has fainted because of it! You are freaking the whole neighbourhood out!" Lavi continued gasping and screaming until Kanda was standing right in front of him, glaring fiercely at him. He gulped as he shutted his mouth immediately. He looked around and saw a pharmacy nearby.

"Look, a pharmacy. Best to get your hand treated." Lavi said. Kanda turned to the store and just sighed.

* * *

"So that means Allen is coming later?" Marie asked, carrying a large box out of the storeroom and into the living room. Froi Tiedoll was sitting at the dining table, doing the preparations for the coming Christmas party.

"Yeah. He has agreed to help me contact these people." Tiedoll replied, peering at the paper beside him. Marie put down the box and went to him, glancing at the paper. As he looked, he raised his eyebrow at the name he saw inside.

"Why is Kanda's name inside as well? I thought we already knew that he has already arrived here in England?" Marie asked, pointing to the name of the raven-haired teen included inside.

"He is here, but it doesn't mean that he would go to the party. You know that guy's character. I know Allen-kun will persuade him to come in the end. I have faith in that boy."

"Yeah, but even so, would Kanda listen to him? You know that they can bicker over the slightest thing." Froi finished writing his stuff as he put down his pen and got off the chair, walking towards the balcony to see the magnificant view sun was shimmering faintly in between the clouds.

"Things might be a little different from now."

* * *

"So...where are we?" Lavi asked, looking around.

"That old man's house." Kanda grunted, pressing on the doorbell for many times. When was that old man going to answer? The raven-haired teen frowned as he peered at the darkened sky which started to rain.

"So where are we, Yuu?"

"Stop asking again and again, usagi!" Kanda snapped, getting frustrated. He glared at the door, hearing some movements from inside. Seconds later, the door opened.

"Who is it?" Marie peered out, and as he stared, his eyes widened slightly.

"Kanda?" He then turned towards the familiar red-haired teenager standing beside Kanda, shocked.

"La..vi?"

"Nice to see you again, Marie!" Kanda just grunted as he went inside first, leaving the two of them outside to continue their long-winded conversation. The house seemed to be neater than what he thought to be. With that old man's old habits, he should be finding more paintings and drawings pinned onto the walls, but to his slight amazement, there was only two or three of them along the sides of the living room.

"Who is it?" Froi peered out of the small corridor, seeing Kanda standing in view. Kanda just blinked at their first meeting and continued to look around.

"You are here, Yuu-kun. And I thought you would never come and visit me again."

"Che. How I wish I do not come here, old man," Kanda replied. Froi just chuckled, and he was not surprised at his reaction. The whole place was rather spacious, and the theme chosen wasn't bad either. He walked to the balcony and opened the glass doors slowly, feeling the gentle breeze sailing in as it glided across his face lightly. He stood by the door, taking in a deep breath.

"Here's a cup of hot green tea to warm up your body." Froi appeared from the kitchen, putting the cup of hot beverage onto the short coffee table. Kanda turned and looked at him. It had been a long time, but he hadn't forgotten his only favourite beverage. He went over and took it up, taking a small sip. It really warmed up his body a little for now.

"So how have you been?" Froi asked, sitting down on the sofa beside him. Kanda held the warm cup by his cold hands as he sat down as well, his eyes looking at a particular magazine on the coffee table. It showed an article regarding him and his career. Apparently, he did not expect his fame to reach as far as England.

"Fine." He noticed the large picture pinned above the television, in the middle of the living room. It showed everyone who had worked in the Black Order three years ago. The raven-haired teen just looked at each of their faces, moving from the furthest left to the right. Frankly, if he had not spotted this portrait, he would have forgotten some of their faces. Kanda rubbed the centre of his chest, feeling slightly guilty.

"Are you looking at the photo which was taken in the Order? That was the only one which have everyone in it, that's why I put it up here, so that whenever I sit here, I would be able to see and remember their faces and the memories we had. It really felt nostalgic," Froi said, looking back to peer at it with softened eyes. Kanda did not say anything as he continued to look at it. The adults looked almost the same, and Marie had not changed much as well. That stupid redhead looked slightly different.

He spotted Allen who was standing between Lavi and Lenalee. Kanda's eyes narrowed, feeling a strange wrench inside him.

"I wonder where Marie is," Froi muttered, standing up to search for the young adult. At the same time, Marie came into the house, together with the redhead following him behind. The former general just stared at the figure in slight astonishment.

"Lavi-kun?" Lavi grinned and waved back.

"How have you been, General Tiedoll?" The two of them laughed as they hugged each other.

"Just call me Froi. I'm not a general anymore." He said as he patted his shoulders gently. Lavi blinked, before realisation hit him.

"Ah, you are right! Sorry!" Lavi said, rubbing the back of his head as he smiled sheepishly.

"Che." Kanda glanced at the redhead and frowned. That guy had never failed to give such a comical look on his face. Marie went out of the kitchen and handed him a warm cup of hot cocoa. Lavi thanked him as he went to sit beside Kanda.

"So what are you doing here, Yuu? Oh, the family portrait of us! It's the first time I see it!" Lavi exclaimed excitedly, looking at everyone's faces eagerly. Kanda wondered why there was a need to get so enthusiastic over a simple portrait. He glanced at it, only to see Allen's face immediately. He hissed in irritation, looking away.

"It would be your first time you see it, because everyone was leaving the next day and we weren't able to wash out the photo by then." Froi said, discussing something with Marie at the dining table. Lavi just nodded his head as he continued to look.

"Look, I saw Allen! He really looks so happy." Kanda's eyes widened slightly as he stiffened. He felt a hard pang of guilt all of a sudden. That particular feeling stung painfully, frightening him slightly.

"Where's...your room, Marie?" He asked hastily, standing up all of a sudden.

"Why? I thought you would never be curious," Marie said, looking up.

"Just...I'm just curious, that's all," Kanda sputtered slightly, looking elsewhere. Froi and Lavi looked at him in slight puzzlement. Marie just nodded his head slowly as he led the way inside the corridor.

"Here. You can look around." Marie opened the door of his room. Kanda stepped inside, looking at the plain room typical of a teenager in front of him. There wasn't anything that attracted his attention in the least, though he wondered why he requested Marie to let him see his room. Maybe he wanted to compare his room to his room in Canada, he supposed. His room was surely better in terms of its theme and design. The whole apartment was even designed specially by himself.

Kanda looked around, flipping the documents on the table and the disks he had on the shelves. He played with the small wooden toys beside his bed, yet nothing really fascinated him. It was just an ordinary room, with the necessary equipment needed for a person in his daily life. He sat on the bed, wondering why he was doing this. What on earth was he exactly thinking, turning so sensitive at only the name of that beansprout?

He could still remember that coincidental meeting they had in the market. That boy was facing the side, having that same smile on his face. No matter how much he wanted to deny, he just couldn't throw away the conclusion which appeared in his head when he saw him; that the person was Allen Walker and no one else. It wasn't confirmed, yet he had a strong hunch that it was him.

He groaned softly, running through his hair with his hand. He couldn't forget that particular moment when he showed such a vulnerable face in front of him. He couldn't erase that saddened look he left in that pair of silver orbs when he left. He couldn't understand anything about this silver-haired teen at all! Because of this, he was spending the next few days getting frustrated and confused.

"Allen..." Just by speaking his name made him slightly sick. Kanda covered his fatigue face with his hand for a while, before he looked outside.

"Do you want to come to the Christmas party, Lavi-kun?"

"What Christmas party?" Lavi asked, rolling over the sofa in slight boredom. Froi just smiled.

"You would get to see your friends again." Lavi's eyes slight widened.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I go! But then, would Yuu go as well?"

"Um, for this...he probably...will not go, I guess." Froi pondered as he tapped his chin lightly by his finger. Lavi's heart literally sank in sadness.

"No, Yuu must go! It has been a long time since I get to see them! I miss Miranda, Reever, Johnny, Kuro-chan, Komui, Allen, Le..." He stopped talking as he stared on the ground, his eyes widening. Froi raised his eyebrow.

"You mean...Lenalee Lee?" Lavi blinked. The whole house was silent, the atmosphere turning tense all of a sudden. He just blinked for a few seconds, before stiff laughter broke out of his lips.

"Y-Yeah, Lenalee. I...forgot." His head was downcast.

What was he thinking? He hadn't forgotten about that cheerful olive-haired girl that he had known ever since he entered the Black Order. He was once a Bookman, yet he could simply lie so easily.

A few minutes later, he stood up.

"Sorry. Where's the washroom?" Marie pointed to the corner of the corridor. Lavi excused himself quickly as he went inside. The two of them stared at each other, wondering what had happened to the both of them.

"But when is Allen coming? He would probably be happy to see the two of them. After all, the four of them were once great friends." Marie said as he turned and looked at the large portrait.

"Yeah. You are right."

* * *

What the hell was he doing?

Lavi washed his face repeatedly at the sink, before he turned off the water tap and stared at the wet face shown at the mirror. Water droplets were streaming down his face, dripping slowly into the wide sink below. At this, he wasn't even sure what was happened to him. He almost lost his cool just now.

Because of Lenalee. Lavi just laughed rather bitterly. Because of Lenalee.

How long had he not seen her? Three years? Or was it more than that? He had no idea, and did not want to know either. All he knew about the relationship between him and her was only guilt and nothing else. He hadn't realise his cold heart which was slowly reaching out to the olive-haired girl, unknown to him.

He didn't know why he was still hesitating. The war was over, and he had already resigned as Bookman. There was simply nothing to block his path towards his future. Yet, those horrid memories had been coming back to him, haunting him for every night whenever he wanted to sleep. He couldn't deny the fact that he had once tried to hurt Lenalee, because he was not only an Exorcist, but a Bookman as well. He had to weigh the importance of these two, and make a wise decision out of it. Because of the job as Bookman, he was forced not to have close feelings towards the comrades working together with him. He was only there to record, that was all.

A Bookman had no need of a heart. He had been countlessly reminding himself of that. He thought he could endure the pain and loneliness from his friends, yet after the incident which happened in the Ark, he wasn't sure anymore, because what he was avoiding all along was his own self which was detesting the job of being a Bookman. He was confused of what he should be doing. He was afraid of hurting his friends, and was running away from it. Through Rhode's dream, realisation hit him hardly, and painfully as well.

He rejected all feelings, and when Lenalee came to him, he pushed her away. He wanted to tell her to leave him alone, in a harsh way. It worked, and Lenalee did not find him for a few days. He thought he could overcome the pain of it. It was okay to be selfish, for the other would understand why he did that. Lenalee knew very well to what he was doing, and she was a mature girl, so she would definitely understand. If she didn't, well, she would just be crying at a corner and get over it soon. There was nothing...that he could do.

Clearly, he was wrong. She came and confronted him rather boldly. He even wondered whether she had confessed to him.

"Why did you do that?"

"What did I do?" He asked as if he did not know anything regarding her problems. She shot hateful glares back at him.

"Saying such hurtful words at me. Why? Do you think you can chase me away just by those words?" Lavi's eyes widened in slight astonishment. She...actually knew.

"If you understand, then you should know what to do."

"I don't! I couldn't understand a single word you said!" Lenalee cried out, staring hardly at him. Lavi avoided her gaze as he looked elsewhere, silent.

"Say something, Lavi! Why do you do that? Why do you always have to push me away when I...when I..."

Lavi stared at her. Tears were streaming down her face.

"When I care for you!" He noticed that pain in her eyes. He had hurt her really badly.

"But you have understood all along, Lenalee. You knew it."

Her eyes widened, as she slowly loosened the grip on his arms and stepped backwards. Her face was burning, not because of embarrassment but of shame. She turned and ran away, and he just stood there, not doing anything. He was really cruel. He pulled her back to the painful reality so easily, which she had been avoiding for a long time. To him, it didn't take efforts, but to her, it took her a long while to forget.

She would...probably never forgive him for a very long time.

Lavi stared at his reflection in the mirror. He slowly smiled, and a rather awkward and shaky grin was shown on his face. He couldn't laugh and smile naturally all of a sudden. It was so stupid to remember such things. How could Lenalee remember him when he had said such harsh words to her in the past? After throwing away the heavy burden of the job as Bookman from his shoulders, was he pining for her comfort?

He laughed. How pathetic. He had no right to treat people this way. Lavi sighed softly as he leaned against the door, peering at the plain ceiling. What should he do if he saw Lenalee at the party? He would probably panicked and run away, because he was afraid to see that cold and rejected look on her face when she saw him. He was afraid to be pushed away by her.

He missed her. He wished to see her again.

"Lavi." Someone knocked on the door which startled him.

"Lavi, are you inside?" It turned out to be Kanda. Lavi laughed softly to himself.

"Yeah, I'm here. What is it, Yuu?"

"I need to rush off to meet someone. Are you staying here?"

"Er, no. I think it's time to meet Panda Gramps now." He answered as he opened the door. Kanda was standing there, staring at him. Lavi just smiled as he patted his shoulder and walked to the living room.

"Marie, General Tiedoll, Yuu and I have something on and we need to go now." The both of them stepped outside, wearing their boots on the spot. Froi and Marie put their stuffs down as they went to send them off.

"Okay. I hope to see the both of you again, and don't need to call me 'General Tiedoll', Lavi-kun." Lavi gave a bewildered look on his face for a while, before he realised it.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry! See you soon!" Lavi said as he waved, before the two of them walked over to the bus stop. The redhead stared at the trees and greenery randomly, before he realised that someone had been staring at him for a while. He turned, peering at Kanda who was still looking at him silently.

"What, Yuu?" He murmured, looking away and pretending that nothing had happened. Kanda did not answer, and his burning gaze was starting to make him feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Oh, look! Is that a canary?" Lavi asked, pointing to a wild bird settling on a skinny branch, flapping its little wings. It looked weak and vulnerable, easily preyed by predators like wild cats. Yet, it wasn't afraid, having the little courage it had to spread out its wings and fly high up into the wide sky. Lavi stopped by the tree and looked up, somehow envied the small bird. He wasn't like it. Rather, he was trapped and caged by his own emotions.

"Lavi." Lavi turned and faced Kanda, who stopped a few metres in front of him. The raven-haired teen folded his arms as he had a serious look on his face. Lavi realised that he was acting foolish and stupid. It wasn't cute at all. Rather, it felt slightly revolting.

"Okay, I know it's not a canary. How can such a refine bird be out in the wild? I must be...out of my mind." He muttered softly, looking at the pile of dry leaves on the dirty ground.

He had made a mistake. Beside Lenalee, Kanda was able to see through his lies immediately as well, and he mustn't let him see through his pathetic self. He was once a Bookman. He was able to conceal his own feelings so easily. There was no way...anyone would find out.

"What is it, Lavi? Though you are a fool, but you will not be stupid enough to say such nonsense."

"Nothing," He replied as he continued to walk forward. Kanda followed him behind, his gaze always onto him so closely. Lavi tried to walk faster, but that gaze still didn't leave him, forcing him to open up his real feelings. He slipped his cold hands into the pockets and continued to walk rather briskly until Kanda slapped his hand at his shoulder and stopped him instantly.

"What is it?" He was so shocked and so disappointed at himself. Why was he running away?

Suddenly, he felt vibration from his phone inside his bag. Lavi gladly excused himself and shook off his hand, taking out his phone and answered.

"Where are you?"

"Oh, Gramps! I was about to call you! I'm going to take a bus there right now. I might be slightly late though." There was a grunt heard from the receiver.

"Okay." At the same time, he saw the bus that he was going to take. Lavi ended the call hastily and rushed to the bus stop, joining the queue which was waiting for the bus. As he was going to board it, he turned around and saw Kanda standing at the back of the bus stop.

"I go first, Yuu! I will call you later!" Lavi shouted, walking up the bus and sat down at the other side. As the bus was slowly driving off, he let out a soft sigh, staring outside the window. It was good that the call came at the right time, or else he did not know how to face Kanda and answer his question. He also did not know how to answer either, because it was simply too hard and difficult to comprehend the feelings inside him.

Maybe, when he finally had the courage to face his own feelings, he would tell Kanda everything by then. He was slightly relieved.

For now.

"Che," Kanda muttered. He didn't know Lavi was that foolish as well, just like that Moyashi. He peered at the road street, indicating that he was at Bellsprout Street. As he looked, he saw a bus 700 approaching the bus stop. It was the bus that he was going to take. As he stood by the roadside seeing the doors opened, he boarded the bus. Kanda sat at the side, before he stared at his watch.

4 o'clock. Great. He was going to be late.

* * *

Lenalee was staring at the important date which she had circled earlier on. On the 20December, she was finally going to the airport to fetch her brother back. The news was so sudden that she did not know how to respond. He would be reaching by morning, so she needed to reach there by about eight. She put down the calendar on her desk and slumped down, sighing.

"Niisan..." She wondered whether she should have accompanied Allen to get the list from Tiedoll. It was unnecessary, since Allen was already outside and would be on his way. Furthermore, one person was enough to get the list, and he wanted Allen to go and get it, not her. She peered at her pen and started playing with it.

She wondered what present she should buy for her brother. Christmas was approaching, and it would be better to pass to him during the Christmas party instead, but for all these years when he wasn't around, she hadn't given him a proper gift yet. She felt rather embarrassed and guilty for receiving so many presents from him. He adored her, too much till she thought he had pampered her too much. He laughed through the phone, thinking that it was reasonable to give presents to his beloved sister, but all she gave him was pretty postcards asking how he was doing and when he would be able to come home. Apart from those, she gave him nothing.

Lenalee grabbed the newspaper from her table and flipped through the pages, seeing the things that were currently on sale. The weather was cold, so she should probably give him a sweater or something, but a porcelain cup for his coffee would be nice as well. Lenalee bit her lip, wondering how she should decide. The scarf looked attractive as well.

"If only Allen was here..." She muttered, but as she saw balls of wool and knitting set for sale, an idea popped in her head. A wide smile spread across her face, as she knew what she should do. Knitting a sweater or a woollen vest by herself would definitely be a fabulous surprise present for Komui. She had knitted before, so it would not be a problem, but she wondered whether she had enough time to complete it. She looked at the calendar settled on the table. It was 18 of December, exactly seven days to Christmas. It would be too late to make a sweater, so she decided to make a woollen vest for him instead. It would be a little rushed, but if she hurried, she should be able to make it by then.

Lenalee grabbed her favourite pink pen as she scribbled the shopping mall and the items that she wanted to purchase for today. It would be best to start now if she wanted no delays in her work. She threw her pen towards the pile of papers beside her desk as she hopped down the chair, grabbed her coat and scarf and prepared to go out. As she reached the door of her room, she stopped.

"Maybe I could use this time to buy Christmas presents for them," She mumbled to herself. Her brother's present was settled. She decided to buy a necklace for Miranda, a headphone set for Marie, a wallet for Krory and perhaps, a jacket for Froi Tiedoll. She thought of cooking Allen's favourite delicacies for dinner and to buy him a pair of converse shoes that he had eyed on a few weeks ago. She wasn't sure whether Kanda would even be present for the party, but she would buy a pair of warm leather gloves for him nonetheless.

She knew she left one more person, and when she thought of him, nothing came to her head. Lavi would definitely come for the party. Somehow, she was certain of it. Lenalee paced around, wondering what she should do. Though their meeting would mostly turn out to be awkward, but she had always wanted to give Lavi a gift in thanks for helping her in the past.

As she thought, his red scarf appeared in her mind. She then thought of knitting a scarf for him. She certainly felt slightly embarrassed, personally doing his present by her own hands. Lenalee blushed a little at this thought, reminding herself that it was only to thank him for what he did. There wasn't any other meaning to it.

But, what if Lavi rejected it again, just like that particular moment? If he did that, she would be embarrassed completely in front of everyone, who would probably look at them with weird gazes. She certainly did not want to go through such pain again. But even so, she still wanted him to receive her gratefulness through this scarf she made for him. Lenalee smiled, as she walked out of the room and towards the main door. As she slowly wore her long black boots similar of her Dark Boots, her chest suddenly felt light, and she felt happy as well. Lenalee closed the door behind her as she shook her head, wondering whether she was turning crazy.

"I should call Allen and tell him that I might be late tonight, so he can decide whether he wants to settle his dinner outside." Lenalee said, taking out her cellphone and began dialing his phone number. As she put her phone at her ear and listened to the loud beeps, she looked at her watch. Allen was probably on his way to Tiedoll's house by then. She stared at the sky.

The afternoon sun was beautiful today.

* * *

"Where are you now, Allen?" Allen fumbled his pockets as he took out his card and scanned it on the card reader. As the bus slowly came to a halt, the doors opened and he alighted at Bellsprout Street.

"I just alighted from bus 700. It's currently four in the eveningright now." He searched through his bag and took out a piece of crumpled paper, staring at the address that he had written down this morning when he received Tiedoll's call. Apparently, he ended work rather late today, and because he was busy the whole time, he did not have the time to give the adult a call to notify him. Allen walked to the side of the road as he peered at the rows of terrace houses located just a few metres inside. Tiedoll's house should be one of them, but let's hope he would not get lost.

"I'm going to his house now. I hope I can get the right one though. I don't want to get lost inside." He heard soft laughter from the receiver, and he frowned. He certainly did not like this joke at all. He had been trying his very best to remember the road signs and places that he had previously gone by, but no matter what, he still managed to forget some, to his amazement.

"I really think it's not funny, Lenalee," Allen said, rolling his eyes. Slight coughs were heard before the olive-haired girl stopped her humorous laughs, which liftened up his mood a little. He was glad that the depressing mood she had was gone. When he saw that teary face of hers, he was really astonished. Lenalee cried sometimes, but he had never seen her crying that hard before.

"I'm sorry, Allen."

"It's okay." Allen stared at the address on the doors, shaking his head as he moved from house to house. The single road was very quiet, with a few vehicles parked at the side. Though it was a scorching afternoon, but thanks to the large trees, he had been shaded from the sheer torture of heat. He jumped slightly at the sudden barks of a watching dog, and Allen gladly hurried away before it could pounce onto the gates and frightened him further.

"What's that...noise, Allen?"

"It's...someone's dog, I supposed," Allen muttered softly. He was about to walk past a particular white house when he stopped, walking backwards to see the address once more. His eyes widened slightly, as he checked the address on the paper again.

"Phews, I almost miss it. I found his place, Lenalee. Talk to you later."

"Okay." Allen ended the call and walked towards the gates. He raised his hand and pressed the doorbell. He let out a loud sigh as he paced around, getting slightly nervous. After all, it had been a long time since they met one another. He peered at the small tree branches and stared at flower pots in neighbours' houses.

"Who is it?" The main door opened as Marie looked out, seeing Allen. His eyes widened, slightly astonished.

"Hello, Marie! How have you been?"

"Allen! Good to see you! You really look different now," Marie said, opening the gates for him to come in. Allen rubbed his head and laughed sheepishly, feeling slightly flattered.

"You look different as well, Marie." As they reached the main door, Tiedoll peered out and saw the silver-haired teen approaching. He slowly smiled as he stepped out, welcoming him warmly.

"Allen-kun! Glad that you are here!"

"Me too, Froi-san!" The both of them hugged each other. The old man went inside for a while, before he came out again, with an incredibly long list in his hand. Allen gasped in astonishment as he stared at the indefinite names written inside. He did not remember having so many people working in the Black Order.

"This is...such a long list!"

"Yeah, sure it is. There are some names which have a tick at the side. This means that they will be able to go for the party. Those names that are crossed out means that they would not be able to make it. You just need to give them a call and ask whether they are interested in it and whether they can go, that's all. I hope this would not...bring you any inconvenience..." Tiedoll looked down, feeling slightly guilty about this. Allen noticed it as he shook his head.

"No, it's okay!" Allen read through the names quickly. There were a few names which he couldn't recall, but most of it inside were people he knew. There were about a hundred names written inside, but about 50 of them were already crossed out. Only ten of them were confirmed going to the party.

_Johnny_

_Reever Webham_

_Jerry_

_Fo_

_Bak_

_Komui Lee_

_Lenalee Lee_

_Lavi_

_Kanda Yu_

He blinked.

_Kanda Yu_

He frowned, before he read it again, making sure that he had not seen wrongly. Why was...his name on the list? Hadn't they forgotten something? It was slightly...ridiculous to have his name till now. He couldn't imagine that he would still be here.

"Isn't that..."

"Yuu-kun? Why are you so shocked about it?" Tiedoll asked. Allen just stood there, not knowing what to say.

"But...isn't he..." He muttered under his breath. It couldn't be. What was this? There was no way...

"He's not dead."

Allen stiffened for a few seconds, staring hardly at the marble floor in the house. After a few minutes, the silver-haired teenager slowly looked up and stared at the ex-General and Marie with wide eyes.

"What?"


	4. Distant

**Chapter 4: Distant  
**

His eyes went wide in horror.**  
**

"Didn't you see him just now?" Marie asked, which confused Allen further. What was he saying about seeing Kanda just now? He didn't see anyone walking by just now! He was extremely sure he had not missed anything or anyone ever since he came here. Allen stared at the list, shocked and completely stunned . Everything seemed to be spinning around his head crazily, and the only thing he had in mind was the face of the previous raven-haired Exorcist.

Kanda was...alive?

"Yu-kun and Lavi came previously, and they just left about 15 minutes ago." Allen breathed out slowly as he stumbled backwards, shocked. He did not know what on earth was happening, but those memories which he had been suppressing all along came rushing back to him. It did not matter what was done in the past, but when he heard the truth, it felt as if the whole burden was released from him.

"Wh-What?" Allen stammered, not believing what he was hearing from the two adults standing right in front of him. He wasn't even sure whether he was in reality. Saying something like that was...slightly ridiculous, in his own point of view. He was slowly accepting the truth of his eventual death when he stepped out of the Order, only to hear such news that he was alive. That had to be...kidding.

"Didn't you know? Kanda's curse had already healed completely after the last battle. So...does it surprise you that much when he is alive?" Marie asked, completely puzzled. Frankly, Allen wasn't really surprised, because Kanda wouldn't just tell anyone about his personal problems, and furthermore, he wouldn't tell to someone like him. What was him to Kanda? A comrade, he guessed? But other than that, it was nothing. He was not related to him in any ways, unlike Tiedoll who was somewhat his father.

"He just left with Lavi a couple of minutes ago," Tiedoll added, pointing in a particular direction. Allen looked across, realising that he was taking the same route here as well, so that means he was at the same bus stop where he alighted, but he didn't see them when he stepped out.

Wait, Lavi as well? !

"Did you say...Lavi?" Allen asked. So many unexpected things had happened at the same time, confusing him.

"Yes. I was surprised that Lavi was with Yuu-kun the whole while. He probably arrived in England about some hours ago." Allen laughed. The two of them were great friends after all.

"Oh, the list. It's 18 December today. Wouldn't you mean returning it back to me on the 20th so that we can do the final preparation?"

"Yes, it's okay. I will get it done by then," Allen replied. He bowed as he thanked them and said their goodbyes. He couldn't stay any longer because he had his part-time job in the evening which started at seven, and he couldn't be late. The silver-haired teen walked back to the bus stop, waiting for the bus to take him home. As he sat down on the available bench, he looked up and saw the numbers which would stop by here. He wondered what bus Kanda took at that time.

Kanda...

Somehow, it hurt. To him, Kanda was a shadow which he couldn't overcome even if many years had gone by. Kanda reminded him a lot about the times in the Order. How they met, how they quarrelled over the slightest things and more. He was someone he couldn't simply forget, because most of his memories were connected to him. He was the only one who reminded him of the painful pastimes that he wanted to erase. He was like...him.

He stared at his name in the list, before staring at his contact number at the side. He was going to call him eventually. He wondered how Kanda would react when he received his call? Would he be shocked? He doubted so, and even if he was surprised, it would only be a few seconds. That guy would definitely reject going to the Christmas party. At this, Allen sighed. Somehow, he felt slightly disappointed about it. He had never thought that Kanda would still be alive, and be in England. He wasn't prepared to face this.

He looked up, seeing a bus arriving. It wasn't the bus that he wanted to board. As the bus stopped and opened its doors, Allen fumbled his bag and took out a photo which he carried along. It was a photo of the four of them which was taken at the last day when they were in the Order. He didn't expect Johnny, who was the photographer, to be able to wash it fast enough to give it to them in the next morning.

It was one of his treasures that he cherished dearly.

Allen peered at each of their faces, realising that he was staring at Kanda most of the time. His finger slowly touched the area where the face was, feeling slightly depressed. He missed everyone, whether it was their laughter or the things that they usually did when they were in the Order, but he missed Kanda the most. His stoic face, that arrogant voice and that incorrigible behaviour of his that could not be comprehended. Somehow, he missed bickering with him.

He slid it into his pocket as he stood up, seeing the bus that he waited. So now, Kanda was back once again. The chance that he had thrown away had somehow returned. It wasn't the end. Rather, it marked the beginning of their relationship. As his life went by a big round, he reached a point whereby everything could be changed back to what he wanted.

There would always a meeting point between crossroads going in different directions. It was the same for the both of them. They would only stay there for a moment, before they went on their different journeys. Three years had passed. Kanda should have things that he wanted to accomplish and achieve. He had his own dreams. Allen was sure that having his own precious sword wasn't the only motive that the raven-haired samurai was holding for in his whole life.

The bus slowly came to a halt as it opened the doors. Allen looked up, staring inside it. When he stepped inside, the time was going to start ticking. Kanda wasn't going to stay long in England. It would be the same for him as well. What would his decision be? And whatever it was, was he going to regret just like the last night they spent together?

Allen sighed as he closed his eyes, feeling the light touches of the cold wind. The bus continued to drive on towards its final destination. His hand slowly reached for the photo in his brown canvas bag, as he took it out and looked at it again. He slowly felt Kanda's face, feeling a slight painful tug at his chest.

Now, compared to the past, Kanda Yuu seemed far away. So far, far away.

* * *

Kanda got off the bus hastily, staring at his watch to check the time. It was already half past four. He grunted in frustration, looking at the streetsigns at the roadside before locating the cafe at a nearby shopping mall. He ran across the road and up the stairs, entering the large building. The nice aroma of barbeque chicken travelled to his nose, and the warm air from the heaters warmed up his cold cheeks. He glanced through the place, before spotting the very small coffee cafe at the corner.

"Yuu!" He turned and saw a pretty young lady smiling and waving at him. He frowned at that particular word she said, as he approached the small round table and sat down, staring rather hardly at her. She just blinked, confused at his foul expression.

"What?"

"You aren't supposed to call me that."

"But your father keeps calling you that! Why am I the exception?" She wailed and gave a pout.

"He's not my father! And don't you call me by my first name again, shortie!" Kanda snapped.

"Not that nickname again! Seriously, stop that, Yuu! It isn't humorous," She said as she made an unhappy face.

"I will do as I please."

"I have a name, Kanda! My name's Mandy Parker, not shortie!" Mandy made a firm stand as she folded her arms and stared hardly at him. Kanda was slightly astonished by her tone of voice, which reminded him about someone who also used the same sentence and the same tone towards him.

_My name's Allen, not Moyashi! _

"Kanda?" Kanda blinked, staring at her blankly.

"Nothing. I told you that I will return to Canada to finish the rest of the job. You do not need to come here at all."

"I didn't say I come here for work. Designers need break as well. We aren't robots working for twenty-four hours, unlike you, workerholic," She played with her golden curls as she pointed out to him.

"You are just giving yourself excuses to slack off, aren't you? Have you even started on yours?"

"Almost finishing!" She chirped, smiling sweetly at him. Kanda raised his eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Are you doubting me now, Kanda Yuu?" She asked, frowning as she pointed a finger at him. Kanda grunted in reply. Of course he had a reason to suspect whether she was telling the truth or saying another lie again. Last time she had totally forgotten to hand in her assignment on time and he had to help her to rush and complete it. It took him almost two whole days, and that means two days without sleep.

"Of course. You should know -" Kanda paused as her finger touched his knitted brows sticking together gently. She grinned childishly, before redrawing it and sighing away.

"...that." He finished with a much softer tone, slightly stunned.

"You shouldn't always frown like that, Yuu. You are still a young man. Your fierce look will definitely scare all the girls away. It's no wonder you haven't dated before." The raven-haired teen blinked, before a slight blush was evident on his face.

"You know I don't have time for that!" He scowled angrily as he brushed across his forehead, though he had no idea why he was so furious about. Colleagues always brought this topic out whenever they had a tip-off by him for handling in sloppy assignments, and he was sure that he had got used to it...until now. Mandy just stared at him in slight astonishment, wondering what was happening to him today. Kanda seldom snapped at this joke, but it sounded as if she had brought it too far.

"I mean, there are so many assignments to do, so there isn't the time for me to date...anyone," Kanda said, using a softer tone this time to avoid misunderstandings. Hearing no reply from the girl, he excused himself quietly as he stood up and walked to the counter, deciding to buy himself another cup of warm coffee. He took out his wallet and as he opened it, he saw a picture of him and the others taken in the Order. Starting from the left was Lavi with his disgusting grin, himself with a dark scowl, Lenalee with her gentle smile and...

Allen with his usual cheerful smile on his pale face.

"What do you like, sir?" Kanda looked up abruptly, realising that it was his turn, which was a little unusually fast, he thought. He read the choices they had, before ordering himself a cup of hot chocolate instead. He had had enough of coffee for today, which was making him slightly sick. After the hot beverage was made, he took it and went back to his seat.

"I'm sorry for saying that, Kanda," Mandy murmured, looking at him with guilty eyes. He had forgotten that she took comments more seriously than the others. Kanda put down his hot chocolate as he sighed.

"It's my fault for shouting at you, so there is no need to apologise for that."

"Really?" He nodded his head. She smiled again, to his relief.

"Hey, what's this?" She asked. Kanda peered down, realising that she was reaching for the photo slotted inside his wallet. Before he could get it back, she had already taken it out and looked at it curiously.

"You didn't show us this before, Kanda. What's this?"

"A photo?"

"Yeah, but who are these people inside?" She asked, sighing. Kanda stayed silent, wondering whether he should answer. It was a past which he did not want to mention to anyone again, and it was a secret which he wanted to keep inside his heart forever. He sighed as he took a sip again. What did it matter if he brought this out again? It wasn't as if they were going to spend the times together again. The time for that particular period had already stopped. It would no longer...continue.

"My friends from the past." She blinked, before looking at him with widened eyes.

"Kanda, I...I am surprised that you still have friends."

"And is there a problem with that?" He asked, frowning. She just laughed softly, shaking her head.

"So...what are their names? I want to know." Mandy asked. Kanda grunted as he pulled his chair closer to the table to have a clearer view of the photo. Their four faces appeared in front of his eyes once again. Kanda took in a deep breath slowly as he pointed.

"This is Lavi, and beside him is Lenalee. This is obviously me, and this person is..." His voice trailed off, his finger still pointing at the cheerful silver-haired teen standing beside him. He stared at his face, his lips moving a little as he was about to start speaking.

"...Allen." Kanda finished, closing his lips. That name still lingered at his ears, ringing so clearly inside his mind. It had been three years since he spoke that name, and when it was brought up to his lips, it felt a little...strange, like he was saying it for the first time. He was supposed to hate that young silver-haired teen, but now, what remained inside him was emptiness and slight guilt towards Allen. For the whole time when he was present, he hadn't thanked him and acknowledged his presence as a qualified Exorcist. Somehow, on the way, he even felt awkward towards him. He knew Allen felt the same as well, and wanted to confront him, but he just walked away.

_Sorry. _

That annoying word rang deeply in his mind. He had no idea why he apologised to him. He couldn't forget the weak and drained tone in his voice when he spoke that night. What made Allen say that on that night?

"Nice. So are you still contacting them?" Mandy asked, putting the small photo back into the wallet nicely, pushing it back to its rightful owner across her. Kanda got hold of his black leather wallet, staring at the tiny exposed edge of the photo silently. Was the sudden meeting with Lavi counted as being contacting with him? He had never thought of being able to meet Lavi at this moment at all.

"I...don't know." Kanda took his wallet and put it into his bag, zipping it. He looked up, staring outside. It had started snowing again, the white flakes descending down from the white sky above slowly. He had finished up his hot chocolate, leaving an empty cup behind. His body had warmed up to the temperature that he was comfortable with, but once he stepped outside, the cold would start invading him and take away his warmth again.

"Since..." Kanda looked up at Mandy as she started to speak. She cleared her throat before she continued.

"Since...we are here, would you mind showing me around the city? Actually I'm...slightly not familiar with the places here," She finished her sentence as she laughed sheepishly, staring at the raven-haired teen with pleading eyes. Kanda stared at her with slight amazement, before he sighed and stood up.

"Let's go then." Mandy hopped up to her feet immediately as she thanked him repeatedly, to his slight annoyance. Kanda grunted as he exited the cafe, with her following behind. The slow, melodious music slowly left their ears as it was replaced by the noises from the vehicles driving on the roads.

* * *

"I'm sorry for being late, Gramps!" Lavi went to Bookman who was standing at the railing for almost an hour, and the old man hated people to be late. The redhead ran all the way up to where he was, stopping as he was catching his breath.

"Why are you late?"

"Um, because I met Yuu on the way just now? We stayed and chatted for a while."

"Yuu? Yuu Kanda?" Bookman asked, his eyebrow raised. Lavi nodded his head, but seeing Bookman's doubted look written all over his face, he was slightly not pleased as he made a face.

"I did not lie to you! I did saw Yuu just now, Gramps!" He protested. Bookman just slapped that head of his in reply, grunting. Lavi whined in pain, demanding on why he was hitting him for no reason. Bookman hit his head again, shutting him up.

"Did I say anything?"

"You don't need to hit me like that!"

"You are embarrassing me with that behaviour of yours."

"What have I done again, Panda Gramps? We are not part of the Bookman clan anymore! Everything is over! Everything!" Lavi exclaimed as he slammed his hands on the railings hardly, hissing angrily to himself. The shorter man just stared at him silently, not saying a word. The redhead realised that he had lost it in public and muttered an apology to the other, his long fringe covering his face from view.

"Are you still blaming yourself?" Bookman asked. Lavi remained silent. He sighed as he stared at the sky, seeing the sun and the white clouds sailing in front of it, casting away most of the light.

How could he not blame himself for leaving his friends behind in the middle of the battle? No matter how he thought about it, that heavy pang of guilt could never be washed away.

"It sounds like you regret taking up this job, Lavi. I had already told you, and reminded you countless times. It would not do you good to be too close with the Exorcists working for us. We are just audience, writing down the histories of the wars happening around us. You can blame no one for leaving them behind." Lavi clenched his hands as he forced a smile towards the elder. It was true that they were only onlookers, and they could only see everything in an objective way. The cruel thing was, he abandoned them, and he couldn't help them because they weren't Exorcists anymore, but a member of the Bookman clan. He could only see how everything ended, and write their tragedies down in books. How honourable was that? He was just that powerless.

He knew that he couldn't put too much feelings onto the job being an Exorcist. That wasn't his real job after all. It was just something which could make his own job easier; by observing the Exorcists and see how they fought. However, because he threw those emotions away, because he abandoned them all, he hurt people whom he cared so much. He thought everything would work well, only to realise that he was wrong all along.

He couldn't cast away his own feelings. He couldn't, because he was human.

"It doesn't matter whether we remember or not. It's already over," Lavi murmured. Bookman just peered at him silently. Lavi laughed to himself, pulling his coat closer to his cold body. It did not matter whether he remembered or not.

"But you saved them in the end, Lavi. You fought the final battle together with them, wasn't it?" The redhead slipped his hands into the pockets, staring at the people walking on the street. The streetlights slowly flickered, as it lit and brightened the place. The snow was still falling, decorating the area with its whiteness. He could hear the bells jingling faintly from a distance.

_Thank you for standing with us in the end, Lavi. _

He could still recall Allen's words and his smile at the end of the sentence. Whether it was Lenalee, Kanda, Allen or the rest of the people in the Order, they did not blame him for what he did in the past. He wondered whether it was a good thing or not, but he just knew that he made the right decision in the end, even if he was a Bookman.

"Yeah, I did," Lavi sighed, warm air escaped out from his lips as it slowly dissipated. He was glad that he had made the right choice in his whole life. They were people he cherished more than himself. Without them, the world would probably fallen into the evil hands of the Millennium Earl. They were everyone's saviours.

"But Yuu really change a lot through the years! I have not expected him to become a renowned international designer!" Lavi exclaimed excitedly to Bookman.

"He's certainly better than you."

"How can you say that, Gramps? I have been working hard for the past three years too!" Lavi pointed out his own opinion, slightly displeased with his remark. Bookman slapped his head downwards again, sending him yelling in pain. He ignored the redhead's irritating cries of protest, observing a toddler who was slowly pacing his way towards his parents. His little steps were wobbly, but he managed to reach to them in the end. At this, he smiled.

"Why are you smiling, Gramps?" Lavi leaned slightly closer to his face, asking. Bookman just grunted in reply.

"Are you going to the Christmas party?" Lavi was stunned for a moment.

"Um, maybe?" Bookman raised his eyebrow in slight curiosity.

"Have I heard wrongly? You seldom reject such events. I thought you miss them?"

"Well, maybe...not as much?" He laughed softly, looking elsewhere. It was really weird of him to behave like this. He thought he was a cheerful person, and when he smiled or laughed, everything would be thrown out of his head. It was only happiness he was seeing right now. He really loved parties a lot, but the more he thought of it, the more he dreaded it. For some reasons, he started to hate it, because it kept reminding him of someone; someone whom he couldn't forget for the past three years.

To his relief, Bookman did not probe him much about his reaction. They entered the shopping mall, going down the escalator to the supermarket to buy groceries which would last till Christmas. It was best to purchase before the festive season, when everything would be sold out soon. They would be staying in England for some matters, before they would fly to America. Right now, Bookman was managing his business, and Lavi was helping him.

As they saw the entrance of the supermarket, Lavi just blinked, slightly stunned at what he was seeing. Everywhere was congested with people holding on to their baskets fully filled with many ingredients, probably for the preparation of their Christmas parties. Everyone was busy, doing what they were supposed to do.

"So...many..."

"What are you doing?" Lavi saw Bookman standing at the doors, waiting for him. His face slowly brightened, filled with excitement again as he nodded his head and went in. They looked all over the shelves and grabbed what they could. Bookman was checking the shopping list repeatedly while Lavi helped to take what they needed. They bumped into people sometimes, and Lavi never failed to stop and apologise nicely to them. His smile never left his face, as he skipped from place to place, enjoying this shopping trip.

At least it helped him to forget his frustrations in his mind.

For now.

"What else do we need?"

"I think that's all. We can queue up at the cashier counters now," Bookman replied. Lavi nodded his head as he rushed towards the counters which were filled with people who were doing the same thing as well. As he waited, he felt vibration from his pocket of his coat. He put the basket on the floor as he took it out and flipped it open, seeing a message inside.

"Santa Claus!" A scream was heard. Shouts and shrieks filled the air, making the whole place even noiser. Lavi turned around, seeing many children crowding around the plump person dressing as Santa Claus, putting sweets onto each of their small palms stretching out towards him. They looked so happy just by seeing Santa Claus, because it was a character which would grant their wishes at midnight of Christmas Day. Lavi couldn't help but chuckle lightly. Did he ever get a present from Santa when he was still young? He couldn't remember anymore.

They were already contented at the little presents they received from Santa. They looked like the happiest children living on this earth. He wished he could be like them, smiling so radiantly and expressing their happiness boldly to everyone. He was slightly jealous of them. When was the last time he could really smile?

Santa Claus were taking photos together with the children now. Lavi sighed as he turned back, pushing the basket forward as the queue was moving. He read the text message in his phone which was sent from his friend. Apparently, he was inviting him to a particular pub for a drink. Lavi slipped the phone in his pocket, wondering what he should do. He had even thought of going out with Kanda tonight to catch up. He had many things that he wanted to share with him.

* * *

The supermarket was extremely packed. Lenalee sighed as she stared at the queue which seemed to be not moving at all. She stared at her watch. It was six in the evening. Allen had probably gone to his workplace for his night shift by then. The olive-haired girl gripped onto the heavy basket tightly, looking around.

"Santa Claus!" She slowly turned around, seeing many children running towards a plump figure dressed in red, who was greeting them with a wide smile on his face. Some were pulling his arms, while a few were even trying to pull his long white beard. At this, Lenalee couldn't help but giggle. It seemed that Santa was having a hard time pursuading these playful children, but with the help of their parents, the small children were queuing up orderly to get their sweets. He was handling out the candy cane, which was one of Allen's favourite sweet. She wanted to get one as well, but it would be slightly embarrassing for a young adult to join the kids' fun.

After shopping for a few hours, she had finally bought the stuffs that she wanted. It was lucky that she reached here early, because at this time, most of the materials were already sold out in a flash. This type of situation was rather common, especially when it was very near festive seasons.

Lenalee continued to stare at those children who stretched out their little palms towards Santa, their crystal eyes twinkled as they anticipated. When Santa put the sweets in their hands, they thanked him loudly as they skipped happily to their fathers and mothers, showing them proudly. Somehow, she felt a little envy towards them. They had grown up in a very nice environment, showered with the love of their parents staying with them. Whenever they needed them, they just needed to call them before they rushed to them right away.

Her parents died long ago. She only had her older brother, and the hard life continued for a few years. In the past, she couldn't count how many times she had wanted to die, only to find herself living again. No matter how many times she called out and cried out to her parents, she knew that they wouldn't come. She was just merely giving herself excuses. She was angry at others who had parents, and wondered why she had to be the one who had to lose her beloved father and mother. She just couldn't comprehend.

But when she saw worried faces from Reever and Johnny, the tears flowing from Allen's eyes and the extreme pale face from Komui due to the lack of rest, she realised that she couldn't go on like this. She only thought of her own sadness and failed to notice other people who was concerned about her. Life still had to go on, and she was just running away from reality.

As she was taking out the cash to pay for her things, she felt a brush against her shoulder. She did not know who that person was, because there was simply too many people.

* * *

After a few minutes, it was finally his turn. Lavi put the things on the counter as the person started scanning. As he was about to take out his wallet, he felt a slight bump from someone. He turned around, seeing a girl wearing a black coat with a red scarf worn around her neck. She seemed to be in a hurry, as she just mumbled an apology and walked away with bags of stuff. Lavi just accepted it as he smiled and turned to pay for his things. As he stepped outside, Bookman was standing there, waiting for him.

* * *

"Sorry."

She mumbled an apology as she squeezed along the crowd, hoping the other would understand. After checking whether she had taken everything, she stepped out and breathed deeply.

The first thing that greeted her eyes was snowflakes falling from the sky. She then felt vibration from her bag as she took out her phone and answered.

"Hello?"

"It's me, Lenalee." Lenalee blinked at that voice.

"Allen?" It was rare of him to call during working hours.

"Are you free now?"

* * *

"Gramps, why are you standing here? You know you can help me carry them. It's so heavy!"

"Don't complain. You should be capable of carrying them, Lavi," Bookman said as he helped to take some bags. Lavi made a face in reply. As he turned to the exit, he saw the same girl standing outside, talking on her phone. Her stuffs were beside her, and it seemed a lot. He wondered whether she needed help.

"What are you staring at?" Bookman asked, facing the other direction.

"Hey, do you think she needs help? She has so many bags to carry, yet no one is accompanying her. Should I help her?" Bookman blinked, before he looked at where Lavi was pointing at.

"I don't know. We need to go home now, Lavi. I still need to go somewhere after this." Lavi stared at Bookman for a few seconds, before he turned towards the girl who was still standing at the doors, talking in the phone. Seeing Bookman's stern look on his face, Lavi sighed as he nodded his head and the two of them headed towards the lift.

* * *

"Yeah, but I'm worried about the weather." Lenalee stared at the evening sky which was slowly darkening. It would be better to go home before it snowed more heavily. Many people were walking in and out of the shopping mall, opening their umbrellas as they were rushing back home.

"Is it? Then...I tell you when I reach home. I'm hanging up." The call ended before Lenalee could even say a goodbye to him. She took down the phone and just stared at it in bewilderment. Allen's voice sounded rather weak and without energy. Was he sick? She sighed as she opened her umbrella and took her bags, walking out of the doors.

When she reached home, she was going to cook herself dinner quickly, before starting on her knitting work. Somehow, this got her excited on the way. It was the first time she was going to knit for someone. She also got slightly nervous, wondering whether she would knit the wrong size. Her efforts would all go down to waste.

Lenalee shook her head and slapped her face lightly. She should be confident in herself and her skills. For the size, she could get Allen as reference, though Allen wasn't a very good example to take. If it was her older brother's size, Lavi's size should be more suitable...

Her eyes slightly widened in astonishment. What exactly was she thinking?

She kept a lookout for her bus which would be approaching soon. The traffic was slowing down, as the red light could be seen ahead. A particular red-coloured sports car drove on the furthest lane which was the closest to the location of the bus stop. As it stopped in front, water splashed out towards them, wetting their clothes. People were wailing, some were grumbling, while others did not say a word. Lenalee just stared at her wet stockings in slight frustration, before staring at the people inside the car.

Her heart pounded hardly on her chest. As seconds slipped by, her eyes widened in shock at the familiar scarf which was always worn by someone she knew. Lenalee slowly looked closer, seeing a familiar face inside.

He was having a cheeky grin, chatting happily to whoever was inside as well. He looked different. His hairstyle had changed. He was keeping his hair long, and he led his fringe down instead of putting his hairband. That black eyepatch was still there, adding on to his charming looks.

She opened her lips slightly, wanting to call out, but she did not say anything.

The traffic light had turned green. As the queue was slowly moving forward, the car was slowly driving forward too, away from her location. She wanted to walk up and knock on the window, telling him that she was here. She wanted to make sure that she did not recognise the wrong person. She wanted to stomp up front and scold him for dirtying her stockings, yet her body did not even budge. The excuses in her head could not be compared to her heart pining so much for his presence.

She missed him so much.

"La.."

The car was moving away from the bus stop in a few seconds.

"La.."

She did not want him to leave.

"La..vi."

He suddenly turned his head around at her direction, to her astonishment. Her breath hitched for seconds, and she thought at that moment, her heart would stop beating and she would die on the spot. But she did not. Their eyes met, only for seconds. Somehow, she got her breath back as she turned away immediately, pulling her red scarf over to hide her face.

The red sports car slowly drove off, and after a few minutes, she slowly looked up, seeing him getting further away from her. As she stared at the ground, hot tears started welling up her eyes. She felt so stupid and so foolish. She thought she would feel contented just by seeing his face, but when she saw it, she realised it was only making her heart even emptier than before. She even wondered why she made that absurd movement at that last moment when it was obvious that she wanted him to notice her all along.

At that instant, she felt like she was the loneliest person in the world.

* * *

I know. I'm supposed to finish this story by the end of last Christmas, yet I didn't. T_T I'm sorry!*slaps and hits myself*

I was busy with studies, exams and work right after the holidays, so I couldn't seem to bring myself to upload the chapters (due to no time and a little laziness -.-), but I have almost planned out the chapters for this story, so please bear with me for a while more!

CHAPTER 4 finally up! Mostly on LaviLena this time. I have already checked for spelling and grammar mistakes, but if you reviewers/readers spot more, please inform me! I will not be updating frequently because of school, but I will definitely finish this story!

Lastly, reviews! It's always good to tell me your impression on the story so that I can improve it. In addition, reviews really make writers (me) happy and accomplished, so please leave one after you read the chapter, ne? :)

Other than that, see you~

**Singingblues**


	5. Connected Paths

**Chapter 5: Connected Paths**

_A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. ~Jean de La Fontaine_

**x - Colourful Moments - x**

Lavi just stared outside the window silently, his eyes never moved at all. The conversation that he had with Bookman was all forgotten immediately. His mind was just in total blank, not knowing what was exactly happening.

"Wh..what..." His voice trailed off, confused.

"Lavi?"

"Wh-What...is that..." He realised that his lips were trembling. He wasn't even sure what he just saw at that moment, or whether he was still delirious, but when their eyes met, he just somehow knew it was her.

"I saw her." Bookman glanced at him sideways for a while, before he focused at the front as he drove.

"What?"

"I saw her, Gramps. I...I..."

"What are you mumbling about, Lavi?" Bookman asked in slight impatience, not being able to concentrate with his apprentice distracting him every second.

"I saw Lenalee. I saw her, right across me. She was just...right over there." The car gradually slowed down as it entered a private housing district. It slowly stopped as Bookman carefully parked it in the parking lot, before switching off the engine. Seeing no response from Lavi, he shook him slightly on the shoulders. Lavi just blinked, before he stared at him with a lost expression.

"Get out. We have reached." The redhead just nodded his head in silence, opening the door as he stepped out into the cold. As he trembled slightly, his hands unconsciously reaching up to his scarf to pull closer to his neck, he stiffened, remembering that moment when Lenalee hid her face in order to avoid him. She looked shocked to see him at first, but it wasn't a relieved or cheerful face greeting him later on. Lavi groaned softly as he touched his heated forehead. How worse could this get?

"What happened between you and Lenalee Lee?" Bookman asked with a slight concerned tone. The two of them just stood in the middle of the silent and empty carpark for a moment.

"Bookman has no need of a heart right, JiJi?" Lavi asked softly.

"That was in the past, Lavi," Bookman reminded, but was a little curious in why he brought up this topic that he hated the most.

"I do not need emotions. I discard them when necessary. I change my identity and let myself forget. I have been doing this for so many times that I almost lost count how many alias I have used."

Bookman stayed silent, waiting for him to finish.

"My heart was supposed to be emptied on that day, but a sting of pain was left behind, and till now, it was still there. It intensified whenever I thought of her. I couldn't erase away those memories because of the pain." The redhead stopped for a second to inhale deep breaths of air.

"When I saw her just about a few minutes ago, that pain clenched my heart so hard that it almost choked me." He then turned to Bookman who was staring at him with a serious gaze.

"Tell me, what exactly is this?" He asked in a pleading whisper. After a few minutes, the whole carpark turned silent once again, only the sound of the wind evident.

"You have to find the answer yourself," Bookman finally replied, turning around as he walked towards the lobby. Lavi just stood there, letting the coldness washed his face and his whole body. Bookman's reply continued to ring in his mind. He knew that he would not give him an exact answer, but he definitely knew that this had to end. Lavi took his brown sling bag by his shoulders as he paced his way to the lobby.

He would find Lenalee. Tonight.

**x - Colourful Moments - x**

_"He isn't dead."_

Allen flinched slightly, almost dropping the basket of snacks and chocolate bars he was about to put onto the shelves. He moved from shelves to shelves, trying to distract himself by doing his current part-time job, but he couldn't forget that particular moment when he might have met Kanda randomly on the streets. People were giving impatient stares at him for blocking their way. He muttered an apology and got out of the crowd, standing beside a cardboard shelf solely filled with many bars of Kit-Kat.

_"Yuu-kun and Lavi came previously, and they just left about 15minutes ago." _

His throat felt dry, and his chest was somehow heavier and uncomfortable than before. It was weird. He thought he had overcome the fear of standing in the middle of many people without caring so much about his distorted looks and his silver hair. Now, that particular heavy feeling he experienced when he was just an Exorcist came back to him, and it was slowly overpowering him. As Allen took a step, he bumped into a stranger. It was pure coincidence.

"I'm sorry!" The person did not blame him. In fact, he did not say anything and just walked past, like he did not see him. Allen hung his head and moved on, feeling so embarrassed. Why was he acting this way? Was the news that Kanda was alive shocked him so much that he could not think properly?

He took up a particular pack of potato chips and stared at it for a few minutes, but all his mind could think of was Kanda and nothing else. He couldn't focus on what he was doing ever since he heard that Kanda was alive, and he would be coming here as well. It felt as if...everything changed completely.

_"He isn't dead."_

"Kanda isn't...dead," He murmured softly. It did not sound real at all. His lips closed, before a faint smile appeared on his face. He just stared at the brand name of the potato chips, _Chipster, _smiling to himself. He took a deep breath and continued to smile, feeling wet tears welling up his eyes. He did not know what was happening to himself, but he had never knew that he would feel this happy in his whole life.

How would Kanda look like three years later? If he was not wrong, Kanda would be twenty-two this year. He should probably have a secure job by then, but seriously, he could not imagine a Kanda Yuu, the swordsman who only knew how to wield a sword and nothing else. Allen stiffled his laughter as he covered his mouth and looked around, making sure that no one was paying close attention to his stupid behaviour.

"Niisan." He felt a light tug at his coat, as he turned and saw a rather cute little girl standing in front of him. Somehow, her beady violet eyes reminded him of Lenalee. Was Lenalee this cute when she was young?

"Why are you smiling to yourself?" He blinked at this question, stunned for a few minutes. Her question had certainly attracted some gazes as people were staring at them. Before he could answer her, the child's mother found her and was taking her away, telling her not to go near strangers. Allen bit his lip and just smiled meekly before walking away, deciding to finish his job before earning a scolding from his supervisor who would be doing his rounds any time soon.

It was good news. He wondered how he should tell Lenalee about this. She would most probably squeal and jump for joy. She always treated everyone in the Black Order as her important family members. She said that they were like jigsaw puzzles forming the world she was living in. Without them, her whole world would crumble. He was really grateful for having her by his side when he just joined the Black Order organisation, without knowing anyone and was not used to the new home. She was his first friend.

His phone suddenly vibrated, and he took it out and flipped it open. It was a message from Lenalee.

_I have gone to the supermarket just now. Sorry for telling you at this time, but can you help me buy the detergent and washing powder? Thanks._

Allen blinked. It was really rare of Lenalee to forget what to buy, because she usually prepared a shopping list to take note whenever she was shopping for groceries. He nodded his head lightly as he told himself to remember to buy the detergent and washing powder before he knocked off from work. As he walked out of the corridor which was the sweets and snacks section, he saw long and endless queues at the cashier counters. Apparently, people were rushing to buy the Christmas goods they needed a few days before the holiday.

"Should I call someone out for dinner tonight?" He remembered that Lenalee wouldn't be cooking his share tonight. Allen pondered for a moment, wondering whether he should ask a college friend out or buy packed food to eat at home. His eyes drifted to the shelves beside the cashier counters where different magazines were displayed. Seeing that no one was around at this time, he took a random one and flipped it open.

There was nothing he could read. Not that he couldn't, but he wasn't interested in cars or buildings or articles about important people in today's society. Allen browsed through the pages and was about to put the magazine back to the shelf when he stopped at a particular page, seeing pictures of different designs and the author.

_Kanda? _He almost shouted out that name. Allen looked around, before reading closer to the article regarding the formal swordsman. He hadn't known that the raven-haired teen could be this successful after three years. He certainly couldn't believe that Kanda could be this...good. Just by looking at his face, everyone knew that he was just a sword idiot who always sticks to his ideal principles and samurai pride, nothing else. How could...how could that Kanda Yuu be this person? !

"This has got to be kidding," Allen muttered to himself, frowning. However, as the phrase goes, one cannot judge the book by its cover. It was true that he had mistaken Kanda. He then turned and looked at his profile picture. Till now, Kanda looked almost the same. He rarely smiled at people, not to say at the camera, and that frown would forever be there on his forehead. If that guy could just stop frowning, throw away that bitchy face and smile a little, everyone would surely fall in love with him. He actually had his charming looks, just that they didn't notice it.

"Excuse me, boy. Are you in the queue as well?" Someone tapped his shoulder and pointed the moving queue. Allen realised it immediately and apologised, standing aside as he was blocking the queue. He then realised that his supervisor was already outside, and was coming in his direction. He took up the empty basket quickly and hurried off to greet his supervisor, before he scooted over to the storeroom to get more goods. On his way there, he realised that he had forgotten to put the magazine back on the shelf. The silver-haired teen stared at the magazine for a moment, wondering whether he should buy. Well, it wouldn't hurt to buy a magazine for now. He was rather interested to finish the story as well.

After working for a few hours, it was already nine. Allen had packed all his belongings, ready to go home. He grabbed a bottle of detergent and washing powder, together with the magazine, and paid to one of his colleagues before he walked out of the supermarket. As he stepped out, he shivered slightly at the night breeze blowing at his face. It was seven, and the streetlights were switched on. Even without the lights, the Christmas decoration lights were more than enough to light up the way along the pavement. Tiny stars could be seen hanging loosely at the night sky.

It looked exceptionally beautiful tonight. Allen smiled, as he walked down the snowy stairs and walked his way towards home.

**x - Colourful Moments - x**

Violet eyes widened with horror as their gazes met unexpectedly. She thought that it would be okay to look at him from afar quietly, keeping the feelings to herself. After all, the red-haired teenager in front of her might not be 'Lavi' anymore. He might have abandoned the past that 'Lavi' had created and started afresh with a new name. It somehow hurt when she knew that Lavi might not recognise her anymore, but their paths were different in the first place. From the start, back when the war between Exorcists and the Millennium Earl started, they were meant not to be.

Through these years, she had already decided to live her life and forget the past. Nothing would come out of it if she was still staying in that past which could no longer continue. She had been trying so hard to let it go and move on, to encounter new things and to start a new life. Yet, the moment she saw Lavi who had appeared in her life once again, she realised that she might have been wrong all along. Those memories, those feelings, were never forgotten at all. Her determination was so weak that it was destroyed from the moment she saw his face.

And from that moment onwards, she realised that not only did she need him, but she wanted him very badly. Her desire was growing strongly inside her, wanting to get to that man. She would do anything to make him hers. The feeling was so overwhelming that she was disgusted with her greed and possessiveness over the person she loved. She couldn't believe that she was so selfish all along. She knew it was wrong, yet she could not push away the heated emotions she had for Lavi. She couldn't.

And after looking at him with such shameful thoughts, Lenalee turned away, feeling so embarrassed at herself. She continued to look down even after the car had left for a few minutes, reflecting at her absurd behaviour. As she finally looked up, seeing the redhead gone, her heart just dropped to the bottom and tears began to stream down her face. She did not care on the surroundings and the people around her anymore. She only knew that from now onwards, she would be totally alone.

After she reached home, she put down the stuffs that she had bought and took out her phone from her handbag, texting to Allen that she would not be cooking dinner tonight. Not because she had a date, but she would like to spend this period of time alone, to reflect on some matters and draw a clear line to them. She knew this could not continue like this. She would definitely break down.

She looked across the table, seeing the picture album belonging to Allen. She flipped it open, reviewing the memories when they were still together. It did not really matter to her whether Lavi would love her back, because she thought that they would always be spending time together. She always saw him in certain places of the Black Order, usually delivering books to the library for Bookman to sort out. But when they separated, she could painfully feel the void between them, and she knew that her feelings weren't as simple as being friends only. It was more than that.

Everyone was important to her. But Lavi was different.

Lenalee snapped the photo album shut and tossed it onto the couch, standing up to take deep breaths. She told herself that she was not going to dwell in the past anymore. Now she had a new life, and Lavi had his own new life to live on. The olive-haired girl took off to the storeroom, took a broom and began sweeping the floor. She wasn't going to give in to her inner demands.

She washed the balcony, tidied Allen's and her room, putting the groceries into their respective places, arranging the books in the shelf in a neat and orderly way, washed the toilets, and began to hang the wet clothes outside. Lenalee smiled, encouraging herself that she could do it. As she finally could not find herself anything to do, she decided to settle down to knitting the sweater for her brother instead. She filled her mind with her brother and what he might be doing now.

_Lenalee!_

Instead, she heard a voice from someone whom she shouldn't even think of. Lenalee winced as the needle pricked her index finger accidentally. She sucked the finger in her mouth, wondering how she really felt. In her heart, did she really want to forget Lavi completely?

In the evening, she decided to go out for a night walk. It was too lonely staying in an empty house, and she couldn't concentrate on her knitting right at the moment as well. Her light brown boots trailed along the stone floor as she walked in the park aimlessly. Street lights flickered as they were finally lit, signalling that dusk had arrived. She played with her coat, before she decided to stop at a large statue located right at the middle of the park. She peered up, seeing numerous, little stars twinkling at her.

"Beautiful," She murmured. She remembered one night when Lavi brought her up to the rooftop of the Order, showing her a magnificent view of the glistering stars shimmering dazzlingly in their direction. She was so shocked that she couldn't speak for a while, because she couldn't believe that such a view really existed in the earth. The two of them just stayed there for hours, neither one of them wanted to leave this place.

The night breeze wheezed past her lightly. She shivered slightly as she pulled her coat closer to her body, blowing warm breaths onto her cold hands. The olive-haired girl looked around, realising that no one was around. Were they inside their warm homes, preparing the stuffs needed to welcome the seasonal holiday within days to come? She imagined the warm atmosphere enclosing her, the hearty laughter from her friends and the comfortable feeling that she always wanted to have for years. The feeling of being loved.

She looked across, seeing something bright just right ahead. She wondered whether there might be a celebration going on at this moment of time. Being curious and having nothing to do right now, Lenalee approached that bright area, finding herself facing the largest Christmas tree in her life. Many people were crowding about it, anticipating something which was to happen soon.

Before she knew it, the lights slowly lit up, from the bottom to the top. She gasped, staring at the breath-taking scene which blended in so well to the darkness. The bright lights of different colours shimmered so beautifully, just like the white lights emitted by the stars in the night sky.

Tears slowly formed at her eyes. She shook her head, forcing herself not to cry. However, she could not deny that she did not want those happy moments to end like this. She wanted to chat with Lavi again. She wanted to see the stars with Lavi again.

Lenalee closed her eyes, bringing her hands close to her face as she prayed.

She wanted to see him, one more time.

"Lenalee?" She heard an astonished yet familiar voice. As she slowly opened her eyes, she gasped, her eyes widened in horror as she saw a red-haired man who was none other than Lavi standing right in front of her.

**x - Colourful Moments - x**

"Look, Kanda! The night sky is so beautiful tonight! I can see the stars very clearly!" Mandy shouted, pointing at the sky. Kanda was walking behind, staring at her back silently. He had been asked to bring her around to sightsee, but in the end, it was her who was leading the way. The raven-haired adult sighed as he looked at the sky, saying nothing.

"Kanda, are you listening?" Mandy asked, running towards him. Kanda just grunted in reply, not bothered by her. In fact, he hadn't had the mood to relax and walk around the country. Ever since he saw Allen in the family portrait of everyone in the Black Order, that particular scene flashed in his head repeatedly, like it was constantly telling him that it wasn't over yet, and that something was bound to happen.

_Sorry._

He shook his head, rubbing his forehead with slight frustration. That memory wasn't supposed to appear at this moment. It should have already been erased through these three years. He clenched his freezing hands, feeling slightly uncomfortable and wary. He wasn't supposed to feel this way.

_Sorry._

He was just Allen! He was just a beansprout who would always annoy him, so why was he still thinking about him? Allen had disappeared from his life three years ago. It had supposed to end that way! From that moment onwards, he had got nothing to do with him anymore!

_I don't know. _

_Sorry._

"Kanda?" He blinked, seeing Mandy's face leaning so close towards him. Kanda stumbled backwards, staring at her with astonishment.

"What?"

"What are you thinking about? Did you hear me call you five times just now?" She asked. Kanda did not answer, his face looking elsewhere. There wasn't many people on the streets, and the wind was not very noisy today, so why didn't he hear her voice even though they were so close to each other? Now, all he could think of was that silver-haired teen who shouldn't be here. It made him look pathetic.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you," Kanda said. He stared at his watch and realised that it was already seven.

"We should go home now." Kanda turned, and just before he was about to take a step, something grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

"No, not yet."

Kanda frowned, wondering whether she was making a joke. He had wasted the whole afternoon walking with her, and he needed the time tonight to catch up with his unfinished project which had to be handed up before Christmas.

"What are you talking about? I have spent time with you, Mandy. Now, I need to go back to finish my project."

"No, not yet," She replied again, her face downcast.

"Mandy -"

"Is this project really important?" She asked coldly. Her words stunned him slightly, and he did not know how to reply her. He had one more week to finish, and frankly, judging by the progress he was going, there was more than enough time for him to fly back to Canada and hand up the work. There wasn't any hurry in going back.

Yet, he had a strong feeling that he should leave.

Mandy looked up, her hands slowly reaching up to his shoulders. He had never seen her so disappointed before. Somehow, her face expression made him feel guiltier. Kanda pondered for a while. It would still be okay if he stayed here for a little while. Anyway, Mandy was his closest friend, so he shouldn't abandon her at this point of time.

"Okay, but only for a moment." That disappointed face changed instantly. She nodded her head in excitement.

"It will only take a few minutes, Kanda! I promise!" She smiled, as she took his hand and pulled him along. Kanda wondered whether he should believe that. Not knowing where she was bringing him to, Kanda just led her pulled along, wondering where they were going to. As the two adults ran on the snowy ground, they stopped in front of a Christmas tree. Kanda just stared.

"Why are we here?" He asked with a frown, and was about to walk back when she stopped him.

"I heard from rumours that if you are standing in front of this Christmas tree, when it lights up, you would meet the person you like and have a happy ending!" She explained. Kanda just gave her an absurd look on his face. He thought she was bringing him to look at something significant, but...a Christmas tree? And what fairytale was that? The least thing he wanted to believe in was something like this. It was only meant to deceive them.

"What? You believe in these tales?"

"Why not? There are some famous people who met their lovers here! It's 100 percent true, I swear!" She tried to persuade him, but Kanda just pushed her hand away as he turned around. Whether it was a rumour or not, it was definitely not going to happen. He was not going to be deceived by this, even though something inside him was trying to stop him from leaving. He snorted and walked away. It was just ridiculous.

"Look, the Christmas tree is starting to light up!"

**x - Colourful Moments - x**

"Thank you!" Allen said to the lady at the food stall as he walked on with a plastic bag of food in his hands. He took out a fishball out of the transparent bag as he popped it into his mouth. It was rather hot, as he opened his lips and breathed in the cold air, trying to cool his burning tongue. As he munched and swallowed it, he grinned, feeling warm in his stomach. It tasted surprisingly good. Maybe he was already hungry.

"Look, the Christmas tree is starting to light up!" Allen stopped in his tracks, looking at the direction where the voice came from. Many people were crowding there, looking at the tree with anticipation. He raised his eyebrow in bewilderment, wondering what the commotion was all about. It was just a simple Christmas tree, which only symbolised the Christmas season and nothing else. Was it a special one? It looked normal to him.

He slowly approached the crowded area, staring at everyone who did not seem to notice his presence but only the large tree itself. As he peered at the colourful lights which lit up from the bottom to the top, and as the bright star was brightly lit, everyone just clapped and hugged one another, wishing a Merry Christmas.

He just stared at the star silently, a weird feeling invading him all of a sudden.

"Hey, lets be together forever." He turned to look at a particular couple who was talking to each other. The guy smiled as he pulled the girl into his embrace. He turned away, feeling his face flushing slightly. Why must all these people be simply so inconsiderate? Didn't they notice that he was here? He felt his chest, his heart pounding hardly each second.

Feeling rather awkward, he decided to leave. Allen slid his hands into the warm pockets of his coat. He smiled as he turned to leave, only to stop again. His eyes just stared at the brownish white ground in astonishment, before he turned back towards the Christmas tree. He slowly walked closer to it, his footsteps echoing in his head. He could hear nothing except his own presence, walking forward. He brushed across people, until he was at the very front of it. As he tilted his head a little, he saw someone standing there.

Silver eyes widened in horror.

_Moyashi._

_I have a name. It's Allen. ALLEN._

_Why are you here?_

"How could this...this..." He muttered with a shaky voice, constantly looking at a particular direction.

_Aren't you supposed to be at the party?_

_Why are you acting so strange today?_

_Goodbye, Kanda._

_Goodbye, Moyashi._

Just right across him, was Kanda Yuu.

"Hey, it's dangerous to touch the Christmas tree, young man," Someone came over and warned him, but he wasn't really listening. His lips started to quiver, and his breaths gradually turned shaky. His lips opened slightly, as he told himself to step back. Step back, and nothing would happen. He constantly told himself not to look at him, but he couldn't. He wanted to walk away, but he couldn't.

_Sorry._

"Stop this," He murmured softly, his voice drowned by the wind. Was it because he was completely stunned by how radiant his smile was? He was just standing there, smiling and laughing at a girl which was about his age. He didn't know that he could smile to others so easily. It looked so genuine and so real. Kanda was really happy. Everything just rushed to his head in an instant, making him feel at a loss. Was that girl his girlfriend? Somehow, it made him slightly jealous, but he had no right. After all, he was the one who walked away in the first place.

His heart thudded hardly at his chest once, the feeling of emptiness sinking in.

Suddenly, he turned in his direction. Allen froze on the spot, his eyes still widened in shock at this. Kanda's smile faltered immediately, replaced by a shocked expression, and he knew that he had seen him. Even if the crowd was slowly dispersing, they did not move from their positions, just staring at each other in silence. As the wind blew again, he could see strands of his raven-coloured hair fluttering lightly in the air.

"What's wrong?"

Allen felt his phone vibrated in his pocket. He did not feel like answering it. He felt like running away this instant. His hand slowly released the grip on the Christmas tree, and every second he counted in his mind, he began to take a step back. He was afraid - afraid that everything that was shown in front of him would disappear within seconds.

He was afraid of losing him again.

"Kanda?"

He took another step back, getting ready to turn and run. Allen wondered whether the ground was too dry. Didn't the weather forecast say that it had snowed earlier in the afternoon? Why did it feel like he hadn't moved when Kanda was coming towards him? Why was he still standing here like a dummy? What was he pining for?

_Why are you doing this for me? This attack is meant for me, stupid! Why?_

_Why are you still being soft at this moment?_

_Because I do not want anyone to get hurt again!_

Why wasn't he running towards him? After all, all he had in his mind was the raven-haired swordsman throughout the three whole years. And now, what the hell was this? Allen started to mock himself inwardly towards his contradictions and dilemma. He was so glad and so happy that Kanda was here, but something stopped him from advancing further. The silver-haired teen slowly clenched his hands tightly as he tore his gaze away from that raven-haired man forcefully.

Maybe he was too naïve. Things were bound to change, but the only thing that he thought did not, and forever will not change, was the relationship between him and Kanda. What was he exactly hoping for? He had been acting like a stupid fool for all these years, turning away from the fact that nothing would come out from this, because Kanda was an emotionless man - a person with no feelings of love.

However, it hurt. Whenever he began thinking of Kanda, everywhere just hurt so much and so badly that he could not stand it. No matter how he debated with himself that it was already over, he couldn't abandon those feelings. And when he saw Kanda again, the pain just intensified.

He could no longer stand it anymore. He had to run away, from his feelings which was responding strongly to the person he liked for years. It was a cowardly act, he knew, but at that particular moment, he had no idea what he should do. He just knew that he had to get away immediately. Any place would do, far enough to escape from that bright light which led to him.

Allen turned around and started to run, but before he could even take a step, a forceful tug at his wrist halted him in his footsteps. Silver eyes slowly widened in shock as he heard the low and monotone whisper loud and clear, his soft and raspy breaths tickling his earlobes as he leaned against his warmth.

"Are you going to run away from me again, Moyashi?"

* * *

Firstly, thank you all for the lovely reviews! :DDD

I thought of making Allen run away from Kanda again, but I don't think this ending would make you readers happy because he had already run once from the first story, and secondly, Kanda would logically not let him off the second time they meet XD

Yay! Allen and Kanda had finally met! Lavi and Lenalee as well! And the four of them reunited at the park where the Christmas tree was. I want to create a certain place where the four characters crossed paths. I was thinking of this perfect place which must fit into this snowy season, and suddenly, a large Christmas tree appeared in my mind -.- so I just used this idea to come up with this chapter.

I will try to finish up this story because I currently have a new idea in mind, and I need all the attention I have (besides school and homework and projects) to write out this story, and this means that I won't be updating my other stories as frequently once I start writing. I will try to update monthly if I can. Another reason why I want to rush this because I seem to be losing interest in this fandom. I still love Yullen (this pair is awesome and simply canon :P) but my inspiration seems to be dying D: Sorry about this.

Pls review once again, my lovelies! :D

**~SingingBlues**


	6. Confessions and Answers

**Chapter 6: Confessions and Answers**

_Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever. ~Author Unknown_

**x - Colourful Moments - x**

"Lenalee?" Her eyes went wide in shock at the familiar redhead standing just right in front of the Christmas tree. She thought she might be seeing things, that he won't just suddenly appear immediately after she prayed to God to make him appear in front of her again. But the bright lights from the Christmas tree would not lie to her. The olive-haired girl just blinked, rubbing her watery eyes.

"Lenalee? Is that you?" He asked again, this time walking towards her. Her heart skipped a beat, her mind turned into panic mode as she wondered what she should do in this type of situation. Her hands turned clamy as she just stared at the black figure which was coming closer to her.

"It is really you, Lenalee," Lavi spoke as he stopped, staring at her with an intrigued face. Lenalee turned away, wishing that he could stop staring at her like that. There was an awkward silence between the two of them for a few minutes. She bit her lip, wanting to speak out and ask how he was for these few years, but found her words stuck at her throat. Lenalee swallowed, took a deep breath, and before she could speak, the redhead voiced out first.

"So, how are you for these few years?" She peered at him. Lavi seemed to be the same physically from the last time they parted ways. His maroon hair had lengthened and his long curved fringe had been put down. That signature grin of his was still there, but somehow, the feelings she had for this man was different. He was much mature and somehow...distant. She could no longer feel the closeness she once had towards him. It was as though she was facing someone she met for the first time. She wondered what had happened to him for these three years.

"I'm fine. You?" She asked. He did not reply, looking up at the night sky in silence. She stole glances at the redhead who had turned into a rather charming man, her heartbeats escalated slowly every second whenever that pair of beautiful emerald eyes shimmered and when strands of his red hair sailed lightly in the moving wind. She had always been attracted to him, but today, his presence took her whole breath away.

_Stay with me._

Her lips parted, mumbling something. Lavi seemed to catch something as he turned around to face her with a slight confused look.

"What did you say?" He asked with a low yet enticing voice. Lenalee just stared at him with wide eyes for a moment, before she looked away. As the chill of the night wind brushed past her skin, she gripped both of her arms with her hands. She could feel a heavy and uncomfortable feeling coming up her throat, and it was so bad that she wanted to puke.

"Are you alright?" Lavi stared at her with a worried expression. Lenalee shook her head, trying to cover her shivers away from his sharp eyes.

"I'm okay." She coughed as her hand pressed onto her chest, feeling sick. Was it because of the temperature which was dropping rapidly, or was it that absurd thought of hers who wanted Lavi to stay at her side? No matter what it was, she could not deny the fact that she was feeling very horrible right now. Everything just built up inside her, so fast that she could not stand it.

She ran over to the side and retched out everything. After her stomach was practically emptied, she stood up, feeling an aching pain straining her body. Lenalee stared at the substance that she had just vomitted out, wondering why it had to be so difficult. Why was it so difficult and so pained to fall in love? She should have given up years ago, right when the war had just begun.

_Say you love me._

Violet eyes widened in pain as she covered her mouth, feeling fatigue and dizziness washing over her in an instant. Tears gradually welled up her eyes, before streaming down her flushed cheeks and fell onto her hand.

"Should we just go back, since you aren't feeling well -" As his pair of hands were placed on her shoulders and turned her around to his sight, emerald eyes widened in shock at the tears he saw falling down her face. She refused to make eye contact with him, not wanting him to see how weak and pathetic she had become even after three years had passed by. She tried to conceal her whimpering voice, but even after everything had been retched out, an unbearable yet lonely feeling still lingered at her chest, so bad that she felt as though she was suffocating.

"I-I'm..." She stammered.

"Lenalee..." His voice trailed off, gradually drowned by the howls of the wind. She could feel his hands gently taking hers, telling her silently that he was here for her. She shivered at the warm touch, and wished that he would continue holding her hands forever. She wanted to lean towards this warm touch, to seek his comfort and run away from this pain, but the moment she relented, that horrible moment she had when Lavi replied to her feelings just sank mercilessly into her reality. She knew she could never get the comfort that she wanted from Lavi.

The olive-haired girl slowly stepped back, redrawing her hands from his. The redhead just stared at her in slight bewilderment at her strange behaviour. She knew she could not do this. She wasn't going to let herself get hurt for the second time.

"Is there something disturbing you, Lenalee? You are acting weird," Lavi questioned, that pair of bookman eyes starting to read her from top to bottom.

"It's nothing," She merely replied. He frowned, and from his expression she knew he was starting to doubt what she was saying.

"Please talk to me, Lenalee. Aren't we the best of friends?" He asked in a slight pleading tone. It almost made her confess out, but she took hold of herself before she spilled out everything. She could sense that Lavi really wanted to help her wholeheartedly, but she could no longer accept that kindness from him.

"I..I am okay, Lavi. Really." Suddenly, the kind look in his emerald eyes disappeared, replaced by a cold look which she could not recognise. The feeling he gave her was starting to frighten her a little, as she began to wonder whether it would be best for the both of them this way.

"Why can't you put a little trust in me, Lenalee? Am I an outsider to you? Am I not worth to share your woes together?" He asked in a painful voice which made her wince.

"No. No, of course not."

"Then, why? Why are you distancing yourself away from me? Please don't do this. Don't do this to the both of us. Don't do this to me. Please." Her heart wrenched greatly at the weak tone of his voice. Lenalee forced a weak smile out of her as she shook her head.

_Because I love you._

"I...I was not distancing myself from you." Tears began spilling out of her eyes uncontrollably. Before she knew it, Lavi strode towards her, his hand grabbing her wrist as he pulled her roughly into his embrace. Lenalee stiffened she stopped sobbing, her eyes went wide in astonishment and shock, not able to comprehend what was happening at this moment. As she tried to pull away, his grips on her arms went tighter, refusing to let her go.

"I'm sorry. I didn't...didn't know that you were living in pain for the last three years. I was ignorant," He murmured softly, his strong hands wrapping around her protectively. She just stood there, sniffing in the sweet scent solely from this man and taking in the warmth from his broad body. The coldness that was invading her skin for the last few hours were chased out in an instant. The nauseous feeling had vanished, replaced by a soothing sensation which calmed her nerves.

"I...I wasn't," She answered quietly. After a few minutes, Lavi separated himself from the embrace, to her slight disappointment.

"I really...regret for what I say during that time." Her eyebrows raised in curiosity. Lavi sighed as he continued.

"Firstly, it was war at that time. I did not have the time to think of other things other than to defeat the enemy. In addition, I thought that these feelings would disappear within time. But...after the war, the feeling was still there. And before I knew it, it was time to go separate ways."

He looked so fragile and so wrecked that she did not want him to continue anymore, but her heart skipped a beat in happiness when he mentioned that he had somehow developed feelings for her in the end. Lavi paused as he turned away, trying to gather up his emotions which were slowly losing control.

"I was lost at that time. I did not know how to tell you about this, and there might be a possibility that you had forgotten about me, because of the harsh words that I had said to you..." He shook his head as he leaned close to her for comfort. She did not refuse.

"I was afraid. Afraid of rejection. Afraid of losing you."

Violet eyes widened. She could not believe that a Bookman; someone who had abandoned his names and his previous identities many times, would have a time whereby fear existed. She could feel the light trembles from his body, and she couldn't help but wrap her arms around his waist and hugged him lightly. He leaned to her warmth and hugged her back.

"I'm here, isn't it?" She asked softly.

"Yeah." His raspy voice trailed off as he replied. At this point of time, Lenalee understood his feelings, and as they shared their pain and sorrows and dilemma, she knew that their relationship was taking a different turn.

And this time, she wasn't going to let it go.

"So...how about asking Kanda and Allen out tonight? We have lots of catching up to do." Lavi took out his cell phone and gave her a wink. Lenalee blushed at the intimate gesture and looked down in slight embarrassment, before nodding her head.

**x - Colourful Moments - x**

He grunted in displeasure as he was being pulled by Mandy to the Christmas tree. As she stared at it with awed eyes, he thought all of these were ridiculous -no, completely absurd. How could those people come up with something so unrealistic, and worse, some idiots here believed it! Kanda stared at the couples who were hugging and smiling sweetly to each other in slight disgust and disdain. They were just going to put their trust onto something that was so unrealistic just for the sake of their so-called 'love'?

"I'm out of here," He stated as he turned around.

"Wait, Kanda! Just...wait for a little while more," She said as she gripped onto his arm, giving him a pleading look. The raven-haired man frowned as he folded his arms at his chest, showing a serious expression as though he was her parent going to give her a lecture.

"What are we waiting for? We aren't like them," Kanda bluntly spoke out. Mandy looked down, flushing deep red with embarrassment at his direct answer.

"Just...Just wait for a little while more," She spoke softly, before she turned away and stared at the Christmas tree in silence. Kanda just glanced at her with a softer expression, wondering whether he was a little too harsh in his words. He sighed as he rubbed the side of his forehead, deciding to accompany her for a while more. While the time was slowly ticking away, he began to ponder of reasons why she would want to stay here, even though the rumour was meant for _couples_, as stated.

_Does she currently have a boyfriend? _Kanda tapped at the tip of his chin lightly, considering the first assumption he had thought of. From years of working with her and listening to those boring and meaningless gossips from his colleagues, he doubted that she had one yet. She would either go straight home after work, or eat dinner with the colleagues in the evening. Sometimes she would stick around with him, even though he told her not to do that because she would distract him in his work.

_Okay, option one out. _Kanda noted as he slashed out the first assumption. The evening wind was a little stronger, and he relaxed at the cool and soothing touch brushing past his body. He moved his neck to get rid of the stiffness for standing there and not moving, his mind continuing to process the other situations.

_She has a crush on someone? _Wait, this might be a possibility. After all, most of his female colleagues were mainly fawning and flirting with the male colleagues whenever they had breaks, and they were mostly targeting him as their main aim. He could still remember how they crowded at the entrance of his room, shooting him disgusting winks and asking him out for lunch. Despite how firmly he said his stand that he had no girlfriend and _did not want _a girlfriend, they still continued to come to him and disrupt his work.

So, who did Mandy have a crush on? Frankly, he hadn't thought of that. Well, it would most probably be guys with charming looks, someone older than him - because he remembered one time when she told him that she liked older and more mature guys, and...maybe a guy with a good sense of humour? Most girls liked guys who cracked funny jokes to entertain them. He then realised that even though he had worked together with her under one roof for years, he did not know much about her at all, just like someone he knew for years, yet he couldn't even grasp onto anything about him on that particular night...

"Look, the Christmas tree is starting to light up!" A shout was heard. Everyone looked up, seeing the lights of different colours spreading up to the top, brightening up the whole tree. Mandy gave a short squeal, shocked that she could get to see such magnificent view at this moment. Whispers of happiness could be heard around the area. Kanda just glared at it with slight anger, as though it was his enemy he had fought against in the past. He wished he could use Mugen and destroy this colourful fantasy that was not true in the beginning. Why couldn't they trust themselves that their relationship could advance further, and chose to put their fates onto something that was not even real? If they believed in such useless things, then it would be even more meaningless to start this relationship!

Kanda hissed as he touched his head, remembering things that he shouldn't. At that night, he wanted to ask what was wrong with him, what made him feel so scared and so insecure. He thought after all these years working together, Allen would understand him. Yet, he didn't. He chose to run away. He was so angry and so disappointed, because not only did Allen not trust him, he did not explain and just left with just a soft goodbye. Fine, he should have just ignored him at that time. What an ungrateful brat.

"Kanda?" He turned as he heard Mandy calling out to him. Seeing her concerned look, he just shook his head.

"I'm fine." Clearly, he was not. He was being bombarded by memories that he did not want to remember and irritating emotions that were beginning to surface. He hissed as dark images flashed momentarily in his head, refusing to leave him alone. After a few minutes, he could not stand it anymore.

"I'm going home," He announced, not intending to listen to Mandy's words as she tried to persuade him to stay a while longer. Pain was hammering at his head and he wished to retreat back to the hotel and take a rest for the day. As his body tilted, about to turn around, he stopped in his steps.

Several memories flashed in his head.

_"Hello! My name is Allen Walker!"_

_"Do you know how to say my name correctly? It's A-L-L-E-N, not beansprout!"_

_"We are Exorcists who save lives, not making sacrifices in order to accomplish our goals! As long as I am here, I am not allowing you to do that!"_

His eyes widened, seeing a shadow hiding behind the Christmas tree.

_"I'm glad...that you are alright, Kanda."_

_"Whatever. You still hate me."_

As he turned to the front once again, Kanda froze in his position, shocked. His heart thumped hardly on his chest, and his throat slowly turned dry.

At that particular moment, that girl's words rang in his head once again.

"_I heard from rumours that if you are standing in front of this Christmas tree, when it lights up, you would meet the person you like and have a happy ending!" _

This was nonsense. Absolutely nonsense.

"Kanda?" Hearing no response from the raven-haired man, Mandy peered at him, slightly astonished to see a horrified expression written all over his pale face. She frowned, wondering what had caught his attention and could cause a person like Kanda who was not moved by emotions to show such a shocked face. She turned to the direction where he was looking, seeing nothing but crowds of people walking around. Who was that person – that person who caught Kanda's attention and broke his emotionless mask so easily?

He thought that figure was nothing but an illusion. Yes, it must be a hallucination. His eyes must be playing with him, after his mind and his thoughts had been totally messed up by images of him just a few minutes ago. It was probably the cause of the poor weather recently. There were forecasts of fog coming tonight. Yes, it had to be that. He refused to believe that the small figure which his eyes had just caught was him.

"Kanda?"

This was crazy. He was thinking of Allen, and he just appeared right in front of him! He stared at the small-built teenager with silver hair who was just standing right behind the Christmas tree. Oh, how he wished he did not spot him at all, so he won't be trapped in his dilemma! He argued with himself inwardly, muttering out curses under his breath.

After he somewhat calmed himself down, he began inspecting Allen from far. He seemed to be well. His fringe was a lot longer compared to the days when he was still an Exorcist, and he grew taller. He still looked small despite his age, which made him wonder whether he had eaten lesser than usual. Was it because of the Innocence?

But at least, his questions could finally be answered. Kanda smirked as he began striding his way towards the silver-haired teen, who somehow stiffened as the silver-haired teen noticed his movements. He stared at his silver eyes, seeing fear, anxiousness and yet a little relief from them. It seemed that his superior skills of lying to people had clearly dropped ever since his life returned back to normal again.

This time, he would force out answers from Allen, no matter what methods he took.

Suddenly, the silver-haired teen turned around. It had clearly shown that he was trying to escape again, but the difference now was, Kanda wasn't going to let him run away without reasons again. He hissed as he increased his pace, pushing himself through the crowd, his eyes never left the backview of the silver-haired teen. Before Allen could leave, his hand reached out to his wrist and grabbed it roughly, pulling Allen towards him. He could feel the stiffness in his movements as their bodies made contact for brief moments, their gazes locking for seconds as they faced each other.

"Are you going to run away from me again, Moyashi?" He leaned in and whispered. Kanda could sense the tension from the other, but Allen made no attempts to struggle and escape. After a few minutes of awkward silence between the two, even though the whole area was rather noisy, Allen finally spoke out.

"Hi...Kanda."

"Are you going to run away from me again?" He asked, this time more sternly.

"Before I answer your question, could you perhaps...let go of my hand?" He asked slowly. Kanda stared at his wrist which was slightly bruised and released the grip. Allen took his hand and touched the slightly swollen wrist, before he took a step back. Seeing the dark glare from the raven-haired man warning him, he sighed.

"Don't worry. I'm not running away."

"You better don't," Kanda hissed. "Why did you run away just now?"

"I wasn't. I just...wanted to go home. I'm tired from work, and...I'm not really good around these people..." Allen replied slowly with reluctance. Because of his appearance and his hair which made him stand out among the rest, he did not like to mingle in crowded areas. Furthermore, due to his past experience as an Exorcist, he learnt not to trust people around him.

"Are you lying?"

"No. No, why would I - why would I lie to you?" Part of him wanted to argue with Kanda, part of him admitted, because he did wanted to escape from him; escape from the heavy emotions he had to face and relive the moment he saw him. Allen took a deep breath, trying to clear disturbing thoughts out of his head. He had probably guessed the reason why Kanda had stopped him, and why he was so agitated when he attempted to leave.

"And I think you should go back to your friend over there. She seems to be finding you now," Allen said as he stared at the small figure of the girl who was with Kanda earlier on. Somehow, a sour and uncomfortable feeling came up to him at seeing the closeness she had with Kanda - something which he and Kanda did not have. Sure, they might have been living together in the past, long before he met her, and they had definitely spend a whole lot more time than the time she knew him, but they were nothing _as close_.

"Don't even try changing the topic, beansprout. I need to talk to you. Now," Kanda warned him with a soft growl.

"What is there to talk about?" Allen asked in slight denial.

"About that particular night. You know that very well." He was pressing for the reasons behind his odd behaviour that night. Somehow, it made him slightly happy. He thought Kanda would forget – discard it as something insignificant. He never expected him to remember.

"Nothing happened. I was just tired."

"It was more than just tired. What was it?" Kanda demanded. His heart pounded hardly at his chest. It was already in the past, yet why did he still want to find out? It took him so long to remove the thorns which were hurting him for more than three years. Why must Kanda forcefully dig out his wounds again?

"I told you, Kanda, that there is nothing we can talk about! How many times must I repeat myself?" Allen exclaimed in anger and irritation as he tried to get away, but was being pulled back by the tight grip at his arm as the raven-haired man forced him to face him. Allen gasped slightly in astonishment as he stared wide-eyed at him. Why was he so obstinate all of sudden? As far as he knew, Kanda wasn't this type of person who had the interests in knowing people's past, yet he was exactly doing the opposite...

"Is there anything wrong between the two of you?" One passerby saw the commotion and asked in concern. He turned and glared at Kanda, who did not seem to be affected by his stares in the least. Sapphire eyes narrowed, as Kanda took his arm and started to walk, pulling the silver-haired teen with him. He did not want anyone to disrupt his time with the beansprout.

"Wh–What are you doing! Stop this, Kanda! I said, stop it!" Allen shouted, stumbling in his steps as he struggled to keep up with the fast pace. People were now looking at them with curious looks, wondering what was happening here, but Kanda did not care less about the crowd, as he pulled the silver-haired teen out of the area. As the former swordsman finally pulled him to a quiet corner of the park, he released his grip and pushed the silver-haired teen against the wall. Allen grimaced and held back a whimper as his back crashed onto the hard surface of the stone bricks.

"Why are you doing this?" Allen demanded in a slight hoarse voice as he clasped his shirt lightly, forcing back the coughs.

"Because you haven't been honest with me. Tell me the truth, and I will let you go," Kanda replied with a cold tone, not noticing his pain in the least. Allen sighed as he stared at the faint lights and the soft voices of the people at where the christmas tree was. There would be no one to interrupt their unfinished conversation now.

"I have already told you everything. There was nothing left to say," Allen said as he tried to maintain his calm tone, not wanting the other to sense that he was already panicking. He swallowed nervously, seeing darkness surrounding the two of them. The silver-haired teen fidgeted in his position, wishing that time would just stop. He hadn't expected to end up like this.

"No, it's not like this."

"Stop it, Kanda. There is a limit to one's patience, and I surely do not have one tonight," Allen hissed as he warned him to back off.

"Neither do I. In fact, I have been bearing this for three whole fucking years, and I need answers. NOW." He seethed, gripping his shoulders so hard that it hurt. Allen winced as he glanced at Kanda, wondering why he was in such a fury. The more he thought of it, the more he felt that something was amiss. This was definitely wrong. Kanda wouldn't behave like this. Not to him.

"What? Would there be something that makes you, Kanda Yuu, look back? You won't. There is nothing that holds you back at all. Nothing," He hissed.

"Don't talk to me like that, Moyashi," Kanda growled lowly, dark sapphire eyes glaring angrily at him, but Allen did not intend to stop talking.

"Did I say something wrong? You are self-centered, arrogant, and nothing holds any significance in your heart..."

"I said, stop it."

"You are a jerk, a badass and a bastard who thinks so high and mighty of yourself..."

"I am warning you, Allen. Drop it." The raven-haired man seethed, obvious that he was already at his limit of tolerance when he called Allen by his name instead of his nickname.

"You think nothing of anyone but hindrance which would cloud your decisions. You are one with no emotions. You feel nothing. The only thing you holds dear is your so-called pride as a samurai, which I think is the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life -"

His mouth stopped and he froze as he heard a loud crash slamming onto the wall. Blood was slowly oozing out of the deep cuts at his fingers, dripping onto the ground. Short breaths slowly escaped out of his lips and silver eyes widened as he saw the expression Kanda was making. It was not anger. It was beyond rage.

"I hate you." He spat out cruelly. The dark sapphire eyes flashed angrily, meant for him to see. It was so cold and so distant, and his heart clenched slightly at this hollow feeling he got from him.

Allen knew. He already knew this from a very long time ago. It was only supposed to give him a numbed and uncomfortable feeling. Kanda had always said that sentence to him almost every day. Clearly, he was wrong. Standing in this silence, being exposed to this damp coldness from the winter season, the stabbing pain was more evident than he expected to be. It hurt, so much more than that night when he left.

"If you hate me, why are you doing this? Why are you...holding me back?" Allen asked in a softer tone, pleading Kanda inwardly not to do this. Why did he bother dragging him here and demand for answers regarding that particular night when there was nothing to begin with? He had clearly told him the answer he wanted. He had always hated him. There was no way...

"That is because you are the person that is fucking holding me back!" He yelled. Silver eyes which were already filled with accumulating tears slowly went wide in shock at the words that he heard.

"I couldn't erase you from my mind. Ever since you left like this, I kept thinking about you till it was literally driving me crazy! I also do not know what the hell is wrong with me, but something just struck within me that something strange was definitely happening to you that night, and I have to find answers to it, or else those memories would not leave me alone!" Kanda exclaimed, drawing deep breaths as he walked to the wall and leaned his head against it. Allen slowly looked up, seeing that his face was rather pale, and his voice turned so hoarse and weak all of a sudden. He badly wanted to step up to him and held his trembling shoulders, telling him to stop.

"Who are you to me? What right do you have to make me reduce into this state?" Kanda demanded fiercely as sapphire eyes glowered hardly at him. Tears fell out of his eyes as Allen turned away, not knowing how to face him. He hadn't expected his feelings to become a painful burden for him, something which he least wanted to happen.

"I'm sorry." Kanda frowned. It was the word he least wanted to hear.

"Sorry for what?"

"I'm sorry for...for everything."

"I don't want to hear that word ever again!" He snapped loudly. He was getting really tired of hearing that word of apology coming out from the silver-haired teen's mouth when there was nothing to be sorry for. Why did Allen have to act so weak and so pathetic in front of him? Why was he still pressing for reasons when he should not even be bothered with?

Allen just shook his head in silence, his hand covering his face as he tried stopping the tears from flowing. Hearing no response from him, Kanda turned to look at him. He then took his wrist, feeling a slight flinch from the silver-haired teen, as though he was afraid of the touch. As he gently took it off his face, his eyes widened in astonishment at the tears washing that delicate face.

He hadn't thought of taking this too far, yet he had a feeling that he had crossed beyond the line. His hand which was uninjuried twitched for moments, before he knew it, he was slowly reaching out to Allen, wanting to wipe off the tears off his cheeks. He couldn't comprehend his actions and the emotions he shouldn't have which was overwhelming him, but something told him that he had to do this, before it really became too late.

"There you are, Kanda!" His movement stopped as he heard footsteps and a familiar voice coming behind them. Kanda redrew his hand and turned around to face her, while Allen wiped away the tears roughly and looked away. Mandy just stood there, confused at what was happening here.

"Uh...what is going on here?" She asked. Before Kanda could reply, Allen turned and started to leave.

"Where are you going?" He grabbed his wrist and stopped him. As silence filled the air for a few minutes, Allen finally spoke.

"Do you want to know the answer, Kanda?" He knew the answer he was talking about referred to the night when he abruptly left.

"It was because..." Allen tugged at Kanda's coat as he pulled him closer. He leaned against his shoulder and whispered.

"It was because...I love you." And before Kanda could give him a reply, Allen let go of him and walked away, disappearing into the darkness.

* * *

It's a little angsty in this chapter, but I think it's necessary, considering that their memories with one another aren't rather good, and they need to confide in with each other to clear up on the misunderstandings that they had. It had never crossed my mind that Allen will be the first one confessing to Kanda, but I think it would be rather interesting to see Kanda's reaction on the "answer" he thought he must know. Hehe, I know I'm cruel, but well...

OOOOOOH I am SO HAPPY to receive such lovable reviews from you readers! :DDD I am determined to work hard and finish this work well! Thank you so much! No words can explain my current feelings right now. I am practically flying! And really sorry for the late update! Common test week is going to be over and you shall expect me to update a little more frequently...well...I hope I can promise on this... And this story is ending in about four chapters or so.

I came across an interesting review which says that my story has the potential to be rated M, which means putting in mature themes into the chapters. How should I say this? It is true that this story can be rated M in future chapters, but frankly, I don't have much experience writing mature themes like smut. I do read M-rated stories (juicy ones apparently, and I love it XDD), but it would be a first for me. I shall put a poll later to see the majority who would want to see smut in this story. I would most likely get a beta who has experience in writing smut for opinions.

Again, please review lovelies! Everything is appreciated!

**~SingingBlues**


	7. Bonds

**Chapter 7: Bonds **

_Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive. ~Anäis Nin_

_**x - Colourful Moments - x**  
_

Everything just tore away the instant he saw the shocked expression formed on the raven-haired adult's face. In fact, he shouldn't be that stunned to see such a reaction from Kanda who knew nothing about him and his feelings on him till today. He did not know what was happening to him today. He wasn't the type of person who confessed out so willingly, considering the fact that Kanda might not return back the feelings. But after the girl entered between the both of them so easily, he just knew he had to tell him, and faced the consequences aftermath.

"It was because...I love you," Allen whispered softly at his ear. He could clearly see the stoic expression gradually turning slightly horrified at his statement. The grip loosened as his hand slowly let go of his, and Allen averted his gaze and turned away, slipping his hands into his pockets of his denim jeans as he started to leave. Thick silver strands mostly moved to the front of his face from the wind, hiding the tears which was threatening to stream down his cheeks. He bit his lip, trying to force the tears back because not only he did not want to be noticed by anyone at this moment, he did not want to feel

He was debating inwardly to himself, that telling his feelings to Kanda would lift up the heavy weight that he had been carrying for years. It did not matter whether he would return the feelings back. He just needed to know how he felt towards him. He would accept anything that came out of this. After all, this was just a one-sided love.

On the other hand, he really wished that, in a slightest chance, Kanda might love him back. He would pull him into a warm embrace, just like what couples and lovers did all the time, and as his warmth slowly filled him up, he would whisper softly in his ear, the three lovely words that he _so _wanted to hear. Their hands would entwine together, their faces leaned against each other as they breathed in their faint scents from their bodies. Then they would slowly close in the distance between them, and their lips met, tasting the sweetness that lingered inside.

Allen stopped as he saw a couple sitting on the bench, kissing. The area was rather dark, away from the street lights. This might be the reason why they chose that place to do that kind of...thing.

Their lips were moving in a rhythmic way, yet it was rough and furious, as though the man wanted to devour her whole. She just moaned softly between kisses, her hands clutching the shirt of the man before wrapping her arms around his neck and leaned closer to him, wanting more. He granted her request, as the man shifted down to her collarbone and started licking and making small bites which sent her mumbling for more. He smirked, feeling the side of her face as he proceeded unbuttoning her dress, his finger slowly trailing down her body. He could see her shuddering as a slow but loud groan escaped from her parted lips.

Allen looked away quickly, not wanting to see what was going to happen next. Well, he had a slight hunch of what was going to occur next, but he did not want to think about it.

Their loud cries rang through the silent night. He hid behind a tree, hearing and seeing everything, and the worst of it was, all he could think of right now was Kanda and him, and what they would be doing in the darkest corner of a room, all by themselves.

Everything just snapped. The silver-haired teen walked out and hurried off, not caring whether the couple would notice him. Anyway, the two of them seemed to be too absorbed in their routine that he doubted they even knew that the Earth was constantly revolving. His converse shoes stepped onto the damp ground as he continued to run till he finally reached to the open streets. He stopped in his footsteps, feeling breathless all of a sudden. His head was spinning strongly and his heart was hammering so hard that it felt as though his ribcage was going to break.

Allen swallowed and gasped as he closed his eyes for a few seconds, before reopening them as he stared at the street names. Hues of lights in different colours of gold and silver shimmered as they were decorated all over the town, so bright that he was slightly dizzy. People were moving around, mostly in families or couples, probably on their way home. Hearty whispers could be heard among them as they hugged one another, smiles lit on their faces. This was supposed to be a happy occasion, but it did not lift up his mood in the least.

He struggled with his disturbed emotions as he got up a bus which arrived at the bus stop. Allen sat down at the far end of the bus, his heavy head leaning against the window as he stared at the night view of the town in silence. As light wind blew at his face, his mind trailed back to the time when they celebrated Christmas in the Black Order. Everyone, except Kanda who did not want to engage himself in such festivities, took part in decorating the whole place with pretty lights and beautiful ornaments. He would always help Jerry in the cooking, partly because he wanted to test out the delicious pastries and dishes. Lavi would tease him for being so greedy, while Kanda called him a glutton. The two of them would end up quarrelling again, and when things got out of hand, Mother Lenalee would always find the right time to step in and stop them. Well, she always acted like a mother whenever she was dealing with him and Kanda.

This was not all. The best part was the decoration of the Christmas tree. Each one of them could use their imagination and decorate the tree to what they wanted it to be. He could recall how indecisive Miranda was in choosing whether to hang the colourful balls or the plastic candies first, and how Krory entangled the wires which almost got him electrocuted. They could spend hours just by deciding which best position the big star should be placed.

Everyone would gather at the cafeteria in the evening for their Christmas dinner, and as they chatted among themselves, somehow it would always end up in a food fight, to Jerry's great dismay. He remembered clearly how Lavi made a prank on Kanda into believing that there would not be any of his favourite soba served. And Kanda really fell for that. As the raven-haired swordsman began striding towards the kitchen to ask Jerry for the reason, Lavi used this chance and slapped a piece of butter creamy cake right at his face when he put down his guard. Boy, he could see that expressionless face darkening fast as the raven-haired swordsman flashed out Mugen and swore loudly that he would slay him in front of Santa. Everything just turned from bad to worse and the Christmas party had to end early with the canteen in total mess and everyone trying their best to separate the two of them to prevent a bloody scene from occurring. At this, Allen stiffened a laugh which slipped past his lips.

It was the 21st of December. Four more days till Christmas. Those happy memories could finally happen, as all of them would reunite once again. A faint smile appeared on his face as Allen stared at the shadows of the lamp posts on the road while the bus was driving on the expressway. Pale golden hues brightened and dimmed whenever they passed by a street light. As darkness sank in, he wandered back to the moments he shared with Kanda just now.

The bus just took a left turn, exiting the expressway and entering into another neighbourhood. He reached out to his right wrist where Kanda had gripped onto just now. The warmth was already gone long ago, yet he somehow had a slight feeling that it was still there.

_I hate you._

Was it the right thing to let go of his hand? Now, he could no longer think in a calm and rational manner. Allen gently pressed the bell as he stood by the doors, waiting for the bus to stop. As the doors opened, a strong gust of chilly wind rushed onto him. He slowly stepped down onto the empty street, gazing at the housing district where his abode was. Pushing all thoughts behind his head, the silver-haired teen headed back to his house.

_If you hate me, why are you doing this? Why are you...holding me back?_

He opened the wooden door and was greeted by emptiness. It seemed that Lenalee had gone out. It wasn't as if he was expecting her to be home. Allen took off his boots as he closed the door behind him, before he walked to the kitchen to put down the bags of detergent and washing powder. He took out his brown coat and hung it on a chair, not bothered to hang it neatly on a hanger. Allen let out a breathless sigh as he sank onto the soft couch and lied down sideways, his legs dangling at the side. As he put his hand on his warm forehead, he gazed at the golden light on the ceiling.

_That is because you are the person that is fucking holding me back! _

He closed his eyes, slowly remembering the touches that he felt from the raven-haired man earlier on. They burnt intensely on his skin, so much that it hurt. He remembered how rough and hard he gripped onto his wrist, feeling the growing anxiety from the forceful tug as he pulled him out of the crowd, isolating the both of them in a dark area where no one would come here. He could feel his breaths tickling the side of his face. Allen let out soft groans as he turned and shifted his body, hugging his knees together.

"Kanda..." He breathed. His body started to heat up for no reasons. Deep inside, he could still hear the soft whispers of his low monotone voice echoing in his mind.

Before he led himself be swept away by his own shameful emotions, Kanda's smiling face appeared out of the blue. He was awake instantly, silver eyes snapped open as he sat up. He then began to laugh bitterly to himself. The silver-haired teen covered his face, messed up his long fringe as he continued to chuckle hysterically, before he gradually stopped. Allen peered at his frail reflection from the television screen, before he fell onto the couch, tears escaping from his eyes.

Kanda was indeed smiling, but that smile wasn't meant for him.

Silver eyes narrowed in pain as he bent down and covered his face with both hands, wishing to shut off everything that reminded him of the former raven-haired Exorcist.

**_x - Colourful Moments - x_**

"So this is where you live?" Lavi asked as he sent Lenalee to the door. Lenalee smiled and nodded her head.

"Yeah. With Allen and niisan. But niisan is currently overseas," She said as she took out the keys and put it into the keyhole. As a small click was heard, the door slowly opened with a long, irritating creak. The lights were left switched on, meaning that Allen was already home.

"Allen might probably be home now. Do you want to come in and sit for a while?" The redhead blinked for a moment.

"Is it okay?"

"Of course. Come in." Lenalee took off her boots as she gestured him to come into the house. Lavi nodded his head and entered, looking around. Everything was basically kept neatly in place. A tea set was placed on the white marble dining table, while a piano was situated at the side beside an old bookshelf. He raised his eyebrows in slight curiosity.

"Do you play the piano?" He asked.

"Oh. Frankly, my skill isn't that good. It is Allen who does the playing. Surprisingly, he is a genius at this," Lenalee laughed as she put her boots into the cupboard, before taking her cloth bag which was put on top of it and walked into the living room. She then spotted Allen sleeping soundly on a couch, hugging a cushion closely to his chest. The olive-haired girl smiled, somehow relieved that the silver-haired teen looked fine, but as she looked closer, she could see faint trails of tears at his cheeks. She frowned as she paced to him, kneeling down until she was looking at him at eye level.

"What is it, Lenalee?" Lavi noticed that she had been keeping quiet for the past five minutes. When she did not reply, he went over to her, before turning to see the person who had got her attention.

"Why, isn't this Allen. He looks well." Lenalee did not answer. A grim expression formed on her face, as she reached out to him and brushed strands of silver locks away from his eyes, putting it behind his earlobe.

"He was crying again." She muttered. Lavi's eyes widened slightly.

"What?"

"And I have no idea how to help him." Lenalee sat down on the floor as she turned away, tears welling up her eyes. Lavi said nothing and just went to sit beside her, putting his arm around her shoulder. She leaned against him for comfort.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. I think it has got to do with Kanda."

"Yuu?" Lavi asked in slight surprise. He then remembered that very day when the two of them met. After seeing a ghostly figure of Allen, Kanda practically went crazy as he tore through the whole place. The raven-haired man definitely looked desperate at that point of time, but he was definitely surprised, because Kanda never showed his emotions to anyone - not even himself. When they found nothing, he slammed his fist against the tree in sheer force and got extremely worked up. He admitted that he was slightly taken aback by his behaviour.

The redhead frowned. But...why Allen?

"Lavi." He felt a light tug at his sleeve. Lavi looked up and saw Lenalee looking at him with slight pleading eyes.

"Can you...stay here for a night?" He could see fear reflected in the violet orbs. He gave his signature grin as Lavi ruffled her hair messily, like an older brother taking care of his little sister.

"Of course!" Lenalee smiled and hugged him back.

"Oh, by the way, my brother will be back tomorrow. It's the afternoon flight. Do you want to come along?" She asked as she got up and took Allen's brown coat, before she went to him and put it over him, making sure that he would not catch a cold. The silver-haired teen just let out a soft moan as he moved slightly inside the covers, before he fell into a deep sleep again.

"Uh...is it really okay for me to see your brother?" He asked in hesitation. Lenalee just gave him a confused look.

"I mean, uh..." Lavi couldn't find the right words to say. If Komui found out about their relationship, he could somehow guess how that sister-complex brother would react. He was really thankful that the Order had been disbanded and the science equipment and machines were no longer here, which means that those crazy robots he made would not exist here. At this, he heaved a great sigh of relief, so glad that he did not need to relive those horrible moments he had experienced in the past.

"What's wrong, Lavi?" She questioned, sitting beside him again. She gasped in slight astonishment as she felt her hand being clasped by another warm hand. Lavi just grinned as he leaned against her shoulder and slowly closed his eyes. Lenalee just blinked.

"Smells nice..." He murmured softly.

"What smells nice?" She asked. The redhead just gave a goofy smile and snuggled closer to her.

"Your scent." Violet eyes widened slightly, before she blushed in embarrassment. As Lavi fell asleep beside her, Lenalee just continued to watch over Allen through the silent night, until she also drifted off to sleep, with only the sound of soft crackling fire heard at the fireplace.

_**x - Colourful Moments - x**_

Allen groaned softly as he opened his eyes, greeted by the warm sunlight reflecting through the windows. He slowly sat up, wondering how he had fallen asleep on the couch without knowing. He just took the brown coat which had somehow left on top of him, staring at it for a few seconds, before he looked at the kitchen, picking up the strong aroma of honey cinnamon pastries. His stomach growled hungrily.

"Lenalee?" He got up of the couch and walked over to the kitchen, but it caught him by surprise, as the person he saw was not the olive-haired girl but the familiar redhead who was taking out the pastries from the oven. Lavi noticed movements from the entrance and looked up, seeing Allen standing there with an astonished expression.

"Looks like you are awake, Allen." He smiled.

"Lavi...is that you?" Allen asked, not believing who he saw early in the morning. He rubbed his watery eyes, wondering whether he might be hallucinating again, but when he reopened his eyes, Lavi was still standing there, taking the plate of pastries out to the dining table. The silver-haired teen just froze in his position, before he realised that everything he had been seeing was real. Lavi was real, and he was right here, inside his house.

"Are you alright, Allen? You look so stiff." Lavi waved in front of his face while his other finger poked his shoulders to shake the teenager a little. A smile slowly appeared on his face, as Allen gripped his arms, before pulling him into a friendly hug.

"It is really you, Lavi. I really miss you so much." He murmured softly.

"Me too, Allen. It has been three years." The silver-haired teen nodded his head in agreement.

"What are you guys doing?" Lenalee asked as she came out of the balcony, taking an empty basket with her.

"Making out with each other," Lavi playfully replied, hugging the silver-haired teen loosely by his waist as he gave a mischievous smirk.

"That is absolutely nonsense," Allen instantaneously answered as he shook off him and went to sit down at the dining table, taking a cinnamon roll to eat. Lenalee just giggled in reply as she went into the kitchen to put down the basket, before she joined the two boys for breakfast. Lavi continued to tease Allen as always, and Allen would always defend himself and occasionally ask her for help. As she watched the two of them in silence, everything felt as though they went back to the time when they were still Exorcists. Even though they were leading a complete different lifestyle, some things really did not change in the least.

"Lenalee?" She blinked as she realised that the two of them were staring at her now. The olive-haired girl bit off a small piece of her cinnamon roll in her hand and just smiled.

"I was just recalling the times we had spent together when we were still in the Black Order. Now, I just simply cannot believe that all of us will be meeting one another once again." Allen popped the last bit of his cinnemon roll into his mouth and took his glass of milk in his hand, staring at the rising sun outside the window.

"Yeah, from today onwards," Lavi murmured softly, hearing the faint rumbling engines of an airplane which was flying across the vast blue sky.

_**x - Colourful Moments - x**_

"Have I packed everything I need? Have I packed everything I need? Have I packed everything I need? Have I..."

"Argh stop chanting Miranda! You have been starting this for the past freaking twenty-three hours! Please, let me off for once." The 26-year-old forgetful woman stopped and just turned to stare at a woman of younger age, before she gave a strained look on her face.

"But I'm scared that I might forget to bring something! I don't want any mistakes for this important day!" She wailed in frustration as she turned back to stare at the luggage which was stuffed full of clothes and other things that she thought might be necessary for the trip. She walked over to the dining table, checking that she had her air ticket to London and her passport. Miranda then glanced at the antique clock, which showed a time of nine in the morning.

"When is my flight today? Is it 12 noon, or should it be 1? Argh, I can't remember!" She cried out as she ran around in circles, until she felt something slapped right at her face. Miranda halted in her footsteps as she got hold of the thing which turned out to be her air ticket.

"Look at the time." Her friend instructed. Miranda nodded her head and peered at the thick black ink imprinted at the front of the air ticket. She squinted her eyes, making sure that she saw it clearly.

"It says...1pm...1?" She blinked, before realisation hit her.

"I'm going to be late!" Miranda screamed hysterically again as she practically ran the whole house, taking everything she could find before shutting her luggage and locked it. As she stood up and sighed, patting her blouse and long skirt, she realised that they were finally meeting again. It really felt as though she was returning back home, just like the times after finishing the missions while she was still an Exorcist.

It felt so nostalgic. She sniffed, feeling tears welling up her eyes. Her friend just gaped at her in slight disgust.

"Hey hey, don't go emotional all of a sudden! It's just a Christmas gathering right?"

"Yeah, but somehow, this just takes so long. I really miss all of them so much..." Miranda cleaned away the tears and tried to force a smile out, getting rid of that pathetic expression that her friend hated so much. She just peered at her for a moment, before a sigh escaped out of her lips as she shook her head in resignation.

"I got it. Have fun, okay?" She said with a light smile. Brown eyes twinkled as Miranda smiled back, laughing softly.

_**x - Colourful Moments - x**_

He hummed his favourite tune by his lips as he gripped his bag by his shoulders, stepping out of his office building as he stopped, taking a deep breath. His golden hair basked in the sunlight, bringing out the bright colour even more. He shaded his eyes from the glaring white light, a smile slowly lit on his face.

"We will miss you here. You could have joined us for Christmas party this Saturday." He turned around to see one of his colleagues waving to him as he approached him, a slight frown at his forehead. He couldn't help but laugh softly. He wished to join his new family, the friends that he had made in this company ever since he left the Science Department in the Black Order. But...

"I apologise for this, Billy. Really."

"Really, Reever. But, wish that you have a good time with them. After all, it has been a while since all of you meet one another," Billy smiled as he slapped his shoulders lightly with his hand and winked playfully, before he went off to his car parked at the side of the road. Reever grinned as he waved back to his colleague, before he stared at the watch.

Two o'clock. Six more hours, and he would be flying back to England to meet them again.

"It has been so long..." He murmured softly, taking out his cell phone and flipped open. A wallpaper showing Komui, Lenalee, Allen and the rest of the family appeared, and he could not explain the pain and the longing to see their faces once again. Reever slipped his hands into his pocket, and took out a silver key chain which Komui had given to each of the members to differentiate their keys. He could see his name clearly marked at the surface, shimmering in the sunlight.

_"From now onwards, all of you would be given your own key chains to differentiate the different set of keys that you are holding. Your names will be marked on it, so that no one will take the wrong keys," Komui announced as he handed them each a silver key chain to attach to their bunch of keys. _

_"Is this really necessary?" One of them asked. Komui just stared at him silently for seconds, before he smiled._

_"Yes, Reever. It does."_

Reever just shook his head as he chuckled to himself, walking his way to the subway underground. All of the members always registered themselves in a catalog whenever they would be taking something that belonged to the Science department. It was definitely not necessary to do an extra step, but knowing the Supervisor's character, he would surely whine about this, so neither of them said anything and just accepted it. Now that he thought of these past memories, a weird feeling just filled him. He wasn't sure whether it was a longing feeling, or an empty feeling that he once experienced when he was leaving the Order to start a completely different life.

But, he just knew that he was finally going home.

"Passengers, we are reaching the next station in about five minutes."

Home, where everyone should be.

_**x - Colourful Moments - x**_

He did not know that the faint scent of fresh grass growing on the light-brown ground could be so refreshing and nice. He walked over to the small sprouts which were eager to get out into the open to bask themselves in the bright morning sunlight, bending down as his hand brushed past the soft damp leaves gently. As little beads of morning dew fell onto his palm, a light smile was spread across his face.

Exactly how long had the time gone by ever since the Holy War ended? When he viewed the scenery when it had just ended, everything was almost destroyed. All the trees and greenery and flowers had withered, and bloody corpses were scattered everywhere, unclaimed. There was a horrible stench of decomposition and blood lingering in the still air which was so bad that he retched out everything from his stomach. From the terrible state the world was in, he thought that everything would never be the same again.

He slowly stood up by his feet and took a slow walk through the empty ground which was used to be filled with little grass and flowers in the summer. After three years, he had never expected himself to come back to the same place where he started. The middle-aged man felt the tip of his gelled white hair as he looked up the green hills, seeing ruins from above. He could still remember what had happened at that particular time, when he was still oblivious about Exorcists, Akumas, the Millennium Earl and the war that he had gotten himself involved with.

Krory stopped by a particular spot, where there was a gravestone carved with the name of a woman that he had cherished all his life. Without her, he would probably not be here, knowing everything that was needed for a human to live in this world. She was his first friend, someone who showed him many things through his entire life. Even though she broke their trust in the end, he was still grateful for her to show him the way and guide him.

"I have come back, Eliade," He murmured softly, his voice gradually drowned by the howls of the evening wind. His black coat rustled noisily as the edges brushed against his legs lightly. He bowed down partially, before placing a rose at the front of the grave.

That woman would probably ask him to leave, not wanting to see his face. Krory gave a bitter smile. After all, he was the one who stopped her and ended her life by his hands. But he knew that she would eventually understand him in the end.

"How are you? Time really flies. After three years, I'm going back to meet them once again."

The freezing wind blew past him, bringing up the edge of his black coat he always used to wear when he was an Exorcist.

"Please forgive me for what I did. I just knew, at that moment, that you would understand my actions in the end." He stepped up, placing his hand lightly on the top of the tombstone, feeling the coldness travelling up his skin. He brushed away the dirt and dust that had accumulated through the years, before he stepped back again, staring at the golden words that were carved beautifully on the stone. After a few minutes, he turned around.

He looked up at the clear light-blue sky, before he closed his eyes, feeling the soft touches of the wind, taking the remains of his sorrow away from him. A sudden gust swept through the empty meadows, bits of dirt and dust flying up strongly into the moving air, and the low and monotone howls of the breeze sounded so melancholy. He hoped that, after so many years trapped in their own darkness, all of them would break free of the past and be free, to do what they wanted and had to do.

"Winter is almost over, and Spring is approaching," Krory murmured in a soft voice, breathing deeply in the cold moist air. He wondered how everyone had been ever since they went separate ways. What changes would he see in all of them when they reunited once again? He had never thought that they would spend time together again, so he did not really consider the possible scenarios whereby they would be under one roof, away from the war for good. As Exorcists, they had to be prepared for the worst.

He had never thought that _this _would happen. That they were still alive in the end. Krory sniffed as he rubbed his watery eyes, before he turned towards the grave with a small smile lit on his face.

"See you, Eliade."

Somehow, he could see a faded vision of the golden-haired woman smiling back at him. Krory laughed softly, before he walked down the hills. At the ground level, he saw his friend in the car, waving at him and calling him to come up lest he wanted to be late for his afternoon flight. He stopped in the middle of the route, staring at the surroundings which had been his home through the years before and after he became an Exorcist.

Farewells do not mean that they would not see each other again. Rather, it marks a new start to their new lives, and that they would definitely meet again, because the bond, which was formed years a long time ago and had bound each and every one of them together, would not snap so easily.

And now, it was just the beginning.

_**x - Colourful Moments - x**_

A small photo frame was situated on the small side table beside the bed, the only photo he had which summarised all the times that they had spent together. He sat on the bed and took it up, looking at it. Seeing everyone's smiles, it somehow brought him back to the days, how they bonded together, how they fought and protected one another, how they held on to that thin line of hope that one day, this world would eventually be saved. And it came true in the end. He, and everyone else, could not explain the happiness and the relief they had when the enemy was pronounced dead. It felt as if everything just came back alive again, that there was something to live for.

He had once hated the Innocence, hated the Exorcists, hated the Akumas and the Millennium Earl for robbing away his happy life and his beloved family members. His hatred and the stabbing pain was so deep that he once thought of lashing out at the Exorcists or anything that came by, before he ended it himself. He cursed, berated and swore that he would get vengeance for his family, but realised that he did not have enough power to do so. In the end, he had to flee the village in ruins and run for his life, away from those monsters chasing after him - his Innocence. He thought everything was done for, and that there was nothing left for him to live on.

Until he met him - Allen Walker.

He was also an Exorcist - someone he totally detested, but he was also different. He was not like those bastards who came to him not to comfort him but wanted his supernatural ability for the likes of the organisation. He did not have that pity look when he looked at him, which was reflected so clearly in other people's faces. That person did not sympathise him, nor did he condemn him in the state he was in. All he did was to approach him, stretch out his white gloved hand, and asked whether he was hurt.

Like an angel, descended from heaven.

Standing beside him was another Exorcist - a swordsman who had that cold look and scary eyes staring straight at him. He did not seem rather eager to help out, but with Allen's continuous persuasions, he gave in, probably to stop that irritating mouth from going on. They tended to his injuries and stayed with him for days and nights, making sure that he was okay.

One day, Allen finally told him the topic that he always avoided - to join the Black Organisation and aid the Order in killing the enemy. He also told him that he resembled him a lot in many ways. His only foster father had died, and because of his grief, he summoned him back by an Akuma, only to kill him again by his own parasitic hand.

"However, why not turn this hatred into an inner strength, and using your powers bestowed, to help others in need? Don't let more victims fall into the Millennium Earl's traps again. Don't repeat the same mistakes again."

Allen told him that no matter how he answered him, he would respect his decisions. Kanda seemed to be slightly unhappy with this idea, but surprisingly, he did not ask. Was this part of Allen's powers as well, being able to let the people around him understand his intentions and follow his footsteps?

At that moment, he hesitated no more. He decided to follow him till his death, if there was, by chance, that they weren't going to get out of this endless bloodshed.

Even if it was finally over, he still wished to stay by his side.

"Tim." He looked up to see a young woman of middle twenties at the door, with a little girl standing by her side. He smiled and stood up, walking to them. She gave him his passport and the ticket to London tonight. His daughter loosened her grip at her mother's hand and tugged the side of his pants, whining softly. He bent down and ruffled her soft hair, before pulling her into a gentle hug.

"You must have missed them. Have fun together," She said. Timothy peered at his wife for a moment, before he stood up and clasped her hands together with his.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"We are going to celebrate Christmas at my mother's place, so it's not like we are going to be alone. I wish I could join you, but I have something on and I cannot leave. I should be apologetic instead," She murmured as she leaned against him, sighing.

"Nana...I promise I will return after Christmas," Timothy said.

"Don't need to be in a hurry. We will always be here," She replied with a smile.

"Daddy, where are you going?" He looked down at his daughter, Jo.

"Daddy is going back to visit his old friends who are important to him."

"Who are they, Daddy?" She asked. He stared at the ceiling as he pondered.

"They are..." His voice trailed off as he stared at the clear view outside. He slowly smiled.

"They are...people who make me fill whole once again."

_**x - Colourful Moments - x**_

"Bak!"

"..."

"Bak!"

"..." Fou lost her patience at waiting for this old man, as she stomped right up to his room and kicked the whole door down. The golden-haired man was shirtless with only a towel hanging loosely at his waist. As he turned around, his eyes widened and he gave a shout of fright and slight embarrassment at her sudden intrusion.

"Wh-What the hell are you doing, Fou?"

"Because you did not answer me!" She snapped as her emerald eyes narrowed, staring at a particular lower region of his body. Shades of red appeared across his face instantly as he turned around, his hand grabbing for his towel before it fell onto the floor.

"Can you don't...never mind, can you just get out of my room? I need to get changed!"

"I came here because you are late, idiot."

"Okay I got it, so can you go outside now! I need to change!" He shrieked in desperation. Fou just sighed as she walked out of the room, making sure to put the door back in place. She leaned against the wall and stared at the glass lighting from above, before she let out a long sigh.

"You don't need to do that, Fou," She turned around to face the former scientist assistant of the Asian Branch, Rou Fa. Fou snorted as she slipped her hands into her pants.

"Che. Why does he need to freak out? There's nothing to see in that old man anyway."

"Fou..." Rou Fa muttered as she looked away, blushing furiously at her blunt statement.

"By the way, where is Wong?"

"Oh. He is already downstairs. He asked me to come here to check whether the two of you are ready to set off," Rou Fa replied. Fou did not seem to catch her words as the robot girl stepped up to the half-broken door, ready to crash down the whole room.

"Bak, are you ready? We have to go now! Can you be faster?" Before she could finish her sentence, the door opened with a long and eerie creak, before it slowly broke and collapsed onto the floor with a loud thud. Bak was standing at the entrance, wearing a black cap, checkered shirt, grey shorts and brown sandals. He just stared at the pieces of wood and sighed.

"Look at what you have done. It adds up to my monthly bills."

"As if I care," Fou gave a snort as she turned around, pretending not to see. Bak just sighed, defeated by her. The three of them proceeded down the hall of his villa towards the entrance, where Wong was waiting.

"All of you are finally here! We better hurry! The plane to England is leaving in about an hour's time!" He hurried them to the taxi which was already waiting for them. As they loaded their baggage to the vehicle and strapped their seat belts inside the car, the taxi moved out and was now going towards the expressway.

"How many years had exactly passed ever since the holy war started?" Rou Fa asked, staring at the wide sky as birds were flying across the floating clouds.

"Centuries. Or even more," Bak answered. Till now, he couldn't believe that the war had stopped, and the beautiful view he was seeing had once turned into ashes and ruins. Every day, he had to face thousands and millions of casualties and victims who suffered from the war. Although they were there to help, but there was simply too many people to reach out. Some of them could not hold on much longer and died. Others were too overwhelmed by the deaths of their loved ones and committed suicide.

"And thus, three years has passed. Fast huh?" Fou muttered softly under her breath.

"At least, that part is finally over," Wong replied with a soft smile. Rou Fa nodded her head in agreement. After the announcement that the Black Organisation was going to disband, things had been rather hectic for all the scientists in the Asian Branch as they had to pack up all the important documents into boxes to be handed in to the Vatican. In order to allow Fou to move around with greater mobility, Bak had invented a portable battery to be installed inside her body. It was lightweight and could be charged for a day before using it again. With it, she no longer needed to depend on the walls of the Asian Branch which acted as a power generator.

"Bak, did you bring enough money?" Fou asked.

"For what?" Bak questioned.

"Of course it's for shopping! You know that the stuff sold in England ain't cheap!" She barked as she slapped his head at his stupid answer.

"If you want to buy, bring your own money!" Bak answered back in slight displeasure. Why must women always go shopping the moment they stepped into another country? And why should he lend his money to her when she had broken one of his doors which cost at least a few hundreds?

"What did you say!" Fou hissed as she pounced up to him from behind and rubbed her fist hardly against his head as punishment for talking back to her. Bak yelled in pain as he gripped onto her arm in an attempt to stop her. The two of them continued messing and fighting with each other like wild cats for a few minutes, until the taxi jerked all a sudden, sending all of them forward. Dark-brown eyes widened as he released his grip, falling backwards, while Fou let out a soft gasp as her body moved forward and slowly sank downwards, right to where the golden-haired man was. She stretched out both arms as she halted herself before she fell onto him. The two of them just stared at each other with astonished eyes, their faces less than ten centimetres apart.

"Are the two of you alright?" Rou Fa peered from behind. Fou grunted as she pushed herself backwards and returned back to her seat, while Bak cleared his throat and sat properly from the front, staring out of the window.

"Can the both of you sit properly in my vehicle? I do not want accidents to happen!" The driver snapped angrily at them. Rou Fa apologised to him profusely. She stared at the both of them, wondering what exactly they were thinking. Letting out a soft sigh, she turned and stared out of the window as well.

She could not believe that they were all going to England, to reunite with the rest of the members of the Black Order. Of course, that would also mean getting to see Allen again. At this thought, a smile slowly crept out of her face. How long had it been ever since she met Allen at the Asian Branch? When she saw him for the first time, something within that silver-haired teen attracted her, and ever since that time, she had a crush on him. She could remember that she would always go and visit him in late hours of the night when he would be training to regain back his Innocence. She had no idea why she felt like this, but she just knew she had to support him, help him recover his Innocence and go back to be an Exorcist. As she watched him in silence, she could feel a tinge of satisfaction that she made sure he was safe in their care.

How was he right now? Was he living well in England? As the questions swirled in her head, her excitement grew as she couldn't wait to step onto the land of England to visit him.

"What are you thinking?" Rou Fa jumped at her seat at the soft yet seducing voice. She turned to see the robotic girl leaning on her shoulder with a devilish smile on her face.

"N-Nothing..." She turned back and bit her lip, getting nervous all of a sudden.

"Really?" Fou breathed as she sniggered softly. "Are you thinking of...Allen Walker?"

"Wh-Wh-What? Al-Allen-k-kun?" Fou stammered as her face turned red.

"What is that about?" Bak asked in curiosity as he turned around and peered at them.

"Rou Fa is in love with Allen Walker," Fou replied.

"Eh? Walker? Is it true?" Bak questioned in slight surprise.

"N-No! We are just...friends!" She exclaimed.

"I don't remember a time which the both of you are close to be considered friends," Fou said with a slight monotone voice. Rou Fa couldn't find anything to answer back as her face was steaming red like a ripe beetroot.

"Well, isn't it good in the first place?" Wong laughed.

"You think so too, Wong? See, even he agrees to that!" Fou said.

"No, all of you are getting the wrong idea!" Rou Fa answered in a fluster, trying to stop them from misunderstanding, but this conversation just went on until Rou Fa finally gave up and admitted her feelings. At the same time, the taxi had reached the airport and they went down and grabbed their belongings, before entering the building to check in their baggage and board the plane.

_**x - Colourful Moments - x**_

"What do you like for your drink, sir?" He looked up from the newspaper, seeing a very pretty stewardess standing beside him with a trolley of snacks and beverages for the passenger to consume during the long hours flight. He gave a smile and peered at the choices they had.

"Red wine, please." She nodded her head as she took the glass bottle out and carefully poured the red-coloured liquid into the glass, before handing it over to him. He thanked her for the service before he placed his lips at the tip of the glass and tilted it slightly, letting the liquid flow into his mouth and sliding smoothly down his throat. As he swallowed the oh-so-good sensational taste of the wine, he let out a soft sigh, staring outside the window, seeing the light trails of bright orange beneath the floating clouds traveling alongside the plane.

It had been so long since he returned. He could still remember how hesitant he was when he had been posted overseas to do his assignment, because after the war, he and Lenalee could finally had the time they wanted together, and he wanted to use the time they had to make up for his sister who had been mostly living alone ever since their parents died. It was Lenalee who managed to persuade him to take up this opportunity and go to work.

_"I will be fine, nii-san. Allen will be here for me, so just focus on your work and do your best!"_

He could still recall that strained smile and her weak voice which was filled with a little tinge of sadness. He knew she was considering the whole situation, and that she did not want him to feel that she was a burden and a responsibility. Seeing how firm and determined she was when she finally made her decision, he had no right to refuse - it would hurt her instead. Forcing down the arguments that appeared in his head at her answer, he just let out a tugged smile and agreed.

They would send letters every week - in fact, he was the one who insisted on that, despite her objections, saying that it was not necessary because it would disrupt his work. It was always so pleasurable to read her letters. As he read every word, registering everything into his head, he could sense her feelings - the happiness, the longing and the joy - it was as though he was living together with her right now. This was the only thing that could make him forget that lonely void between the two of them.

And now, he could finally go back to his home and see the real person - the real Lenalee. He did not need the letters to imagine and feel. She would be there, calling out his name as she entered his embrace. Oh, how wonderful that was. A smile slowly appeared on his face as he leaned back to his seat and closed his eyes. He hadn't slept a wink for two whole days, but thinking of his sister was more than enough to keep him fully awake.

"Passengers, we will be reaching London in about fifteen minutes. Please return back to your seats and buckle up your seats. Your seats should be pulled up to its original positions. Radios and other electronic stuffs should be switched off as well..."

The airplane jerked and plunged down all of sudden. His eyes flew open in slight panic as he stared at the person's head in front of him for a while, mainly the bald part with a little small hair, before his eyes trailed to the display whereby a map on the destination was shown. The red line represented the distance away from his home, which was terribly long. Now as he realised, he had stayed so far away from his sister for the very first time.

Komui took in slow, deep breaths, hearing the blasting roars of the engines as the wheels were launched out. He could finally see tiny little black dots that was actually the city of England clearly from this height. He shut his eyes again, his breath hitched as the airplane took another short yet deep plunge, getting ready for landing. The nauseous feeling was attacking him, and as he distracted himself from thinking about phobia on heights, he began to think about Lenalee, and what they were doing to do later.

After a few minutes of waiting, the plane finally touched down, and Komui found himself exiting the door and walking towards the entrance of the airport. He badly wanted to rush out and search for Lenalee at once, but fought back the urge as he reminded himself to collect his belongings before going to the arrival hall. He waited alongside with the crowds of people, looking out for a black medium-sized luggage and a camping bag filled with Christmas presents that he bought back for everyone. As he saw one that looked similar to his, he almost jumped out and grabbed it, only to realise that it belonged to someone else. He frowned in disappointment as he leaned against the trolley that he had pulled over, tapping his feet in slight impatience as he wondered why this whole process was taking so damn slow.

"If only my phone has battery..." The Chinese man muttered under his breath. It had never crossed his mind that this would happen, and he just happily tossed his iPhone into his luggage yesterday night! He hoped that Lenalee and Allen would not wait too long for him.

With all his belongings on the trolley, he set off to the arrival hall. As he approached the exit, there were huge crowds by the railings, holding signboards as they waited patiently for the return of their friends and family members. He could see their longing portrayed in their eyes, that they missed them so much and were glad that they had finally come back to them. People laughed as they clasped each other's hands which seemed so foreign, and others cried their hearts out as they hugged one another tightly.

Lenalee and Allen weren't here.

He frowned, stepping out as he pushed the trolley through the small and narrow passageway, trying to find an olive-haired girl and a silver-haired teenager who might be in the crowd. There were some people who looked like them, but they weren't them in the end. He finally came out in the open, and stopped. They were not here.

Had they forgotten his arrival time? He thought he had reminded Lenalee so many times in the phone conversation. He even emailed her, so why weren't they here yet? A sudden chilled feeling invaded him and he began to think that something might have happened to the both of them. Komui paled instantly as he looked around in panic, pondering on what he should do, but his mind was in total blank.

"Lenalee..." He breathed, fear starting to grow within him.

"Nii-san!"

Suddenly, all the anxieties just vanished. Komui was stunned for seconds, wondering whether he was hearing things. Then, as he realised he wasn't, he turned around, seeing the familiar olive-haired girl waving at him from afar.

"Nii-san!" She cried out, smiling.

"Lenalee!" His mood soared and he was about to run to her when he stopped.

Besides Allen, there was someone else hovering around them, especially towards his precious sister, and he was so dangerously close to her! Wait, was that bastard leaning against her shoulder? And what was that disgusting warm feeling he was getting from the two of them?

That soaring mood of his just tumbled down to the bottom. In an instant, he was charging forward, his dark eyes glinting in fury and his teeth bearing as he lunged straight for that bastard who even dared to lay his finger on his precious Lenalee.

_GO. TO. HELL._

"Nii...san?" Lenalee asked in uncertainty as she stepped back, wondering what had gotten into her brother, yet Lavi had a perfect idea on what Komui was exactly going to do, and it won't be good if he reached to them - no, to _him. _The redhead released his hold on her arm as he turned and ran behind Allen, taking the bewildered silver-haired teen, who did not understand a single thing happening now, as a shield from the flaring Komui Lee shooting daggers at him.

"Go away, Allen," Komui muttered coldly, violet eyes glaring darkly at the figure standing behind him.

"Wh-What?" Allen wasn't sure how to reply, but GOD, Komui's face was super scary right now. From his instincts and past experiences, it would be best to follow what he said. The silver-haired teen nodded his head and gladly stepped aside, leaving the poor Lavi in the open. Komui snarled as he pounced onto the redhead, his hands at his throat as he attempted to strangle him alive. Lavi coughed and choked as his eyes rolled, trying to breathe properly.

"N-Nii-san, what are you doing! You are choking him!" Lenalee exclaimed, shocked.

"S-See-See...I...I told-told you that...that he will-he will react like this..." Lavi grimaced as blood was slowly draining out of his face.

"How dare you do this in front of me. How dare you hang your arm by her shoulders in front of my presence. How dare you lean so close to her. How dare you..." He muttered continuously under his breath, seething with rage every minute. Allen just gasped, wondering what he should do to stop this. He knew that Komui hated anyone to be close to Lenalee, but he hadn't expected it to become _this _serious.

"Nii-san, I said, stop it! You cannot do this! We are...we are together!" At this, Komui stopped what he was doing, dumbstruck by her answer. Lenalee and Lavi were...together? They were...together? He just blinked for moments and stared blankly at the redhead who was slowly paling, before he released his hold. Lenalee went over to support him immediately as Lavi bent down and coughed hardly, as though he was about to throw up. She patted his back lightly to soothe his pain, before she looked up at him, slightly displeased.

"Why are you doing this, nii-san? Just when everyone is so happy on seeing you again..." She sighed as she frowned, not surprised in the least that he would react this way. Lavi nodded his head vigorously in agreement. Komui just shot back a death glare at the former Bookman, not seeking any opinion from him. Lavi squeaked in fright as he ran over to Allen and hid behind his back. Komui wanted to rebuke, but seeing Lenalee's unhappy face, he swallowed back his retorts and just let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier about our relationship as well, since this just happened rather recently. But...well, you already know," Lenalee apologised. Their hands were clasped together, and Komui wished he could kill that redhead who was tainting his pure Lenalee's soul.

"Well, it wasn't as if...as if I was going to kill him." He snorted with a small huff.

"You almost did!" Allen and Lenalee exclaimed loudly in unison.

"I didn't strangle that hard!" Komui stared hardly at Lavi who was blinking innocently at him. He was certainly reluctant to give his sister to someone like Lavi, who mostly kept fooling around, but he knew very well that it was time Lenalee should make her own decision. He couldn't always pamper her all his life.

"Ah, I forgot about this!" He felt warmth traveling into his body, as hands were clasped onto his. He slowly looked up, seeing the light yet radiant smile from his sister as she held close to him.

"Welcome home, nii-san!" She smiled. And throughout the three years, he had always wanted to say these three words to her when he returned home.

"I'm back, Lenalee."

* * *

Hey everyone! I'm so, so sorry for the late update! Have been rather busy with school projects and examinations, and I only have the free time to pick up my writing again recently.

This chapter is mainly focused on each of the members of the Black Order who are coming to England to celebrate Christmas with Allen, Lenalee and the rest. I have always wanted to write a chapter whereby everyone, no matter where they are and what they are doing, there will always be a 'home' for them to return in the end. Although the Black Order no longer exists, their hearts will always be on their friends whom they had worked with for years. As they held on to the happiness and excitement on seeing their friends again, they reminisced on the past and their feelings towards the change of their lives from the war till today.

There will be slight angst in this chapter, mainly from their feelings, but there is slight fluff at the beginning (though not on Kanda and Allen...-hehehe-) I'm not very sure how I fare on writing fluffs as it's my first time, so please give me your opinions on this!

For Tim's part, I wrote it from my own point of view on how he would meet up with Allen and the rest of the Exorcists before he joined the Black Order as an official Exorcist, thus it will not be according to the manga chapters.

It will be a very long chapter! Please do bear with me!

And thank you for the reviews full of loves! I am truly touched, and I apologise again for the late update!

Lastly, please review again, my lovelies!

See you next time!

~SingingBlues


	8. Memories, Feelings, Decisions

**Chapter 8: Memories, Feelings, Decisions**

_Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same. ~Flavia Weedn, Forever_

**x - Colourful Moments - x**

Allen sighed, peering at Komui from the corner of the living room who had currently been glaring darkly at a particular redhead for the last five hours without blinking. Lenalee did not seem to mind as she took his clothes to wash, while Lavi was reading newspaper at the dining table as though nothing had happened. Seriously, he was really surprised that the two of them could get used to this within a short period of time. He was careful to avoid them lest he was pulled into this "crossfire" that had occurred ever since Komui found out about their relationship at the airport.

Now, Komui was gritting his teeth in a childish manner as he realised that they weren't affected by him. Allen slapped his forehead lightly as he turned back to watch the television in front of him, deciding to ignore this.

"Hey, is it true that everyone is arriving today nii-san?" Lenalee asked from the kitchen as she was taking out his coats to dry at the balcony.

"Really?" Allen exclaimed as he looked up at her. He couldn't wait to see all of them again. He wondered how they had been doing.

"Yeah. I have just received a message from Reever that he has arrived at the airport just now. It looks like Krory is with him," Komui said.

"They come here together?" Lenalee asked as she stopped beside him.

"No, they meet in the airport by coincidence."

"Oh, I can't wait to see them!" Allen piped up as he stood up from his seat, his mind thinking of the activities that they would be doing when they had met one another.

"Getting excited, Allen?" Lavi asked as he winked at him from the edge of the newspaper. Komui hissed and glared at him, but no one seemed to notice him.

"Yes! It would be great if we know when they are arriving at the airport! At least I can go and fetch them!" Allen replied in glee as he began skipping around the living room. Lenalee sat down beside her older brother and listened to the conversation. She smiled, glad that Allen had returned to his usual cheerfulness. She just watched silently as Lavi teased Allen and the two of them began to bicker, but in a friendly manner.

"Something bothering you?" Komui asked as he stared at her. Violet eyes narrowed before they slowly closed. Lenalee let out a sigh as she shook her head.

"No. Nothing." Allen was laughing. Her hands slowly clenched tightly as her eyes opened. She couldn't put off that tearful face she saw with her own eyes last night. What had exactly happened last night? She wanted to ask him, but it might spoil the happy mood they currently had. She really did not want to force him to say the truth, but when was he going to say it? Sometimes the laughter she was hearing was nothing but a facade to cover his wounds.

"Lenalee?" She blinked as she looked up, seeing both Allen and Lavi looking at her. She stared at the silver-haired teen for a moment, having the urge to ask whether it was about Kanda. Now as she thought about everything, it did make sense. She already knew that something was wrong at that night before they were disbanded from the Order. Allen hardly met Kanda at the eye when they were bidding farewell, he cried while saying Kanda's name and avoided her question whenever she raised it up. She knew that they did not see each other to the eye in the beginning, but it shouldn't get worse than this.

"What?" She asked in bewilderment.

"What are you thinking about?" Allen asked, curious.

"I was...thinking of what to buy when we go out later," She smiled and laughed.

"We are going out? With who?" Lavi asked with enthusiasm.

"Not with you, bastard!" Komui screamed as he lunged for the redhead who dodged it with ease as the previous Science department supervisor crashed onto a wall and slumped down onto the floor with a loud thud. Allen just sighed as he felt his forehead, wondering when Komui was going to accept the fact that his sister was dating with Lavi.

"But who are we going out with?" He asked. Lenalee just smiled as she gave a wink.

"Everyone. I have already notified them. We will be meeting them at Hard Rock Cafe at Millville Street around five in the evening. It will be a Christmas shopping to prepare for the party two days later! Furthermore, we can catch up along the way as well!" She said. Allen was already imagining what it would be like for today's evening. He couldn't help but shiver in excitement of the events that were to come. He looked up at the clock. It was currently four now. One more hour, and they would be able to meet again.

A string of sunlight entered the window. He closed his eyes and felt the warmth trailing down his face. The heat had never felt this soothing and comfortable before. His eyes gradually opened, seeing the path of bright light that seemed to be leading towards the place where they would be meeting.

A soft smile gradually appeared on his face. They continued to chat in excitement for the rest of the afternoon, drowned in the hearty laughter ringing throughout the whole apartment.

* * *

"Allen!" Allen turned to see Krory running and waving towards them. The two of them hugged each other tightly, their laughter ringing melodiously at their ears as they jumped together like little kids. Reever had already arrived at the scene, chatting with Komui. Lenalee and Lavi seemed to be lost in their own world, as they were taking pictures of the both of them using Lavi's iPhone.

"I am so glad to see you again!" Krory cried out.

"Me too!" Allen said as he grinned, taking deep breaths of the snowy air. They stopped hugging as they held hands together, inspecting each other. Krory did not seem to change much, except that he might look more mature by his choice of clothes. Somehow, the feel towards the adult was also different from when he was still an Exorcist as well.

"You have grown drastically, Allen," Krory commented as he looked at him from top to bottom. A slight blush appeared on his cheeks as Allen gave a sheepish smile and scratched the side of his face.

"No, no. It's only two centimetres difference from my previous height when I was an Exorcist," He argued profusely, refusing to admit his words. Krory just laughed as he shook his head.

"No, you have definitely grown a lot, but still slightly skinny. Have you been eating well recently?" He asked with a frown. Before Allen could reply, Lavi jumped beside him and hung his hand around his shoulder.

"This little midget still eats an enormous amount of food everyday, Krory-kins! Don't underestimate this small-built body of his!" He said with a wink.

"Lavi!" Allen exclaimed in slight displeasure. The redhead just laughed and pinched his cheek gently. The silver-haired teen grunted in irritation as he slapped his hand away.

"Please drop those weird namings, Lavi!" Krory said with a sigh.

"Eh? Doesn't it sound cute?" Lavi blinked and asked.

"It doesn't!" Both Krory and Allen replied in unison.

"Hey, It's Miranda!" Lenalee cried out. Everyone turned to see a middle-aged woman walking towards them. She was wearing a long light-brown coat, a dark-grey woollen scarf wrapped around her neck, and black boots which were worn up to her knees. She took down her shades as her hand brushed the slight curls of her hair which fluttered lightly onto her shoulders.

"E-Eh...hi...everyone." Everyone just stared at her, silent. Krory's mouth slowly dropped open. Reever couldn't help but swallow in surprise, and Lavi let out a short whistle.

"Wow, nice figure you have, Miranda," He remarked. Lenalee shot him a weird gaze, wondering what he meant. Miranda just blinked for a moment, before deep shades of red appeared on her face. She muttered thanks under her breath as she turned away, embarrassed. Noticing her embarrassment, Lavi coughed and just laughed awkwardly, telling her that he was only complimenting her. She smiled in return.

"You have really changed, Miranda!" Lenalee said as she went over to her and gave her a hug.

"You too, Lenalee! You look very beautiful!" Miranda replied. The two women began chatting between themselves, discussing on the recent fashion trends and the ideal perfumes and cosmetics to buy.

Next, Timothy, Rou Fa, Bak and Fou came at the same time. Bak, who still had the likes for Lenalee, collapsed with hives appearing on his face. The former scientist at the Asian Branch who still had a crush on Allen ran towards him and literally pounced onto him. Allen gasped in slight astonishment as he stumbled backwards slightly, his arms unconsciously went up and hugged her. It had been so long since he saw her ever since he was admitted to the Asian Branch for the loss of his Innocence, but he hadn't remembered Rou Fa being so straightforward at that time.

"Eh, are you so desperate, Rou Fa?" Lavi teased. She panicked immediately as she got out of the embrace and shook her head vigorously, not wanting to get into a misunderstanding. Lenalee just smacked his head lightly for being mischievous and mean towards an innocent girl. Allen just laughed, telling her that he didn't really mind.

"Um...Allen-san..."

"You can just call me Allen," Allen said with a smile. Brown eyes brightened with happiness as she nodded her head vigorously, before looking down in slight embarrassment.

"What a perfect chance, Rou Fa. Allen is still single," Fou said as she nudged her arm and smirked at her.

"You can start attacking him now, you know," Lavi added on, as the two of them stared at her with devilish smiles. She just stared at them in slight suspicion, wondering what they were plotting inside those evil minds of theirs. Allen just raised his eyebrow in slight curiosity, wondering what they were talking about. It seemed that the silver-haired teen wasn't aware of her feelings for the past few years. Lenalee sighed, wondering whether he was too dense to notice.

But, does Allen even notice who he really likes?

"It seems that we are the only ones who are late." Froi Tiedoll who was previously a general came over. Marie and Chouji were walking behind him, while there was an unexpected person who would be joining them this evening.

"Yuu! You came!" Allen stiffened, his eyes widened in shock at hearing this statement.

"Shut up, rabbit," Kanda grunted as he walked over to join the crowd, not seemed pleased to be here.

"You look so different as well, soba-man!" Kanda stopped immediately, his eyebrow twitching slightly in anger at that stupid and senseless name that Krory called him when he was still an Exorcist. Everyone was silent for a few minutes, before they burst out into laughter. There were shrieks and cries heard as Krory was running away from the raven-haired man who was charging towards him. It was too bad that he did not have Mugen with him. For Krory, he was extremely glad that they weren't Exorcists anymore.

"Okay, Krory-kins is just kidding, soba-man!" Lavi shouted on purpose, obviously wanting to join in the fun.

"You want to die as well is it, usagi?" Kanda hissed as he glared at him darkly. They ran around in circles as they passed by everyone who were deep into their own conversation. As Lavi passed by Lenalee, he gave her a light peck on her cheek quickly. She stopped talking as she blinked for a moment, before she blushed deeply at this. Miranda just stared at her with wide eyes. Komui roared and chased him, swearing to kill him for doing that to his precious sister this instant. Reever tried to stop their former Science Supervisor from going crazy in the open public.

"I am _so_ going to kill you, Lavi!" Komui screamed.

"Ah! Help!" Lavi shrieked and jumped to avoid the kick coming from the furious brother of Lenalee's coming after him in hot pursuit.

"Stop coming after me, soba-man! Oops, I have said soba-man..." Krory said as he covered his mouth.

"You are so getting it from me!" Kanda growled angrily as he lunged after the poor vampire who cried out for someone to save him.

Allen couldn't help but laugh at the scenes he was seeing from his group of friends and family. It had been so long since he could hear their voices and laughter, and it was so nostalgic seeing them like this once again. When was the last time they could totally enjoy themselves and laugh so carefreely like this? It was their very first time throwing away every frustration and laughing so heartily. It was the first time he ever felt so happy in his life.

"Save me, Allen!" Krory shouted as he ran towards him. Allen just stared at him as he slowly approached him, before silver eyes gradually widened at the figure who was behind him. As Krory took cover behind him, Allen stared wide-eyed at Kanda who appeared right in front of him. Time seemed to slow down for the both of them, as they stared at each other for a moment. He could only hear echoes of their voices, the soft whistles of the wind, and feel the soft raven strands of his hair tickling his nose and cheeks.

Memories of what happened last night crashed to him.

Silver eyes widened in horror as he felt breathless and dizzy all of a sudden, as though that small limited space between the both of them was going to swallow him whole. He looked away immediately as his body reacted out of its own accord. Allen walked out of the way, and as he stepped out, he then realised what he had done. He stared at the ground in astonishment for seconds, before he looked up at Lenalee who had been watching him for a long time.

"Allen?" Krory questioned, a little puzzled at his reaction.

"It's...nothing," He stammered a little, refusing to look into his gaze. Images of the park, the Christmas tree, their sudden meeting and Kanda's angry face flashed continuously in his mind. A slight stabbing pain was felt at his chest, and Allen told himself to forget what had happened that night.

"Where will we be going, Allen?" Rou Fa asked.

"H-Huh..." Allen stiffened. His voice was so shaky. He did not expect himself to be this shaken. He clenched his hands as he began to panick, wishing that someone would interrupt at this moment.

"We are going to the shopping mall first! Since everyone is here, let's go!" Lenalee shouted loudly. As she talked, the bus that they were waiting had also arrived at the bus stop. Everyone went back to their own conversation as they boarded the bus. As Allen took a seat at the corner, Lenalee went to sit beside him. He just looked up at her in slight surprise, before he looked down with a lost expression.

"Are you alright?" She asked in concern.

"Hnn," Allen replied. "Thanks, Lenalee." She had noticed his discomfort with Kanda.

"Are you still uncomfortable with Kanda?" Silver eyes widened at the question.

"I..." Just by reminiscing what had happened last night was enough to make him sick. He knew he had liked Kanda, but he never expected himself to confess to him. That was definitely out of impulse, nothing more. Now, he did not know how he should face Kanda. Allen covered his face as he shook his head. Every time he saw Kanda, his head would start spinning and a revolting feeling just rushed up his chest, making him hard to breathe.

"Even so, are you content on remaining like this?" She asked. Allen flinched, before he slowly looked up at her, shocked.

She already knew.

"I...don't know." Frankly, he had a sudden thought of giving up. Allen sighed as he looked outside the window. He thought he would be able to take it, but recently, it was getting harder to maintain this feeling which was weighing him down. No matter how he pondered hardly on this problem, he always came to a dead end. Not to mention that they were both guys.

"I guess...this isn't working out..." He muttered softly.

"What isn't?" Rou Fa asked, curious. Allen just smiled.

"You seem to be deep in your thoughts, Allen. Is there anything that is bothering you? You can chat with me about it if you are troubled. I don't mind," She said.

"Thanks, Rou Fa," Allen replied. Her eyes widened slightly for a moment, before she looked away, blushing.

"Oh, is that the start of your love attack, Rou Fa? How sly," Fou asked as she grinned. Rie Fu panicked again as she shook her head and said that she had misunderstood her intentions.

"What, what? What are you all talking about?" Lavi asked as he peered behind, curious on the conversation. Rou Fa gasped as she looked down in embarrassment. Fou just laughed loudly, while Lenalee just smiled and said nothing. The redhead frowned, thinking that he had somehow missed an important part of their secret conversation. Allen just stared at them in silence, before he realised that he had been staring at Kanda who was sitting beside Lavi for a while. He looked away quickly, deep in his thoughts. It seemed that there wasn't much reaction from the raven-haired man after his confession last night. Kanda was treating as though nothing had happened last night. Allen looked down at his hands on his lap, his eyes narrowing with sadness.

Is it...really time to give up?

* * *

"We need to buy the ornaments for the Christmas tree!" Lavi said excitedly as he ran around the department store, like an energetic child continuously searching for something to play.

"Can you stop running around? Everyone's watching," Lenalee said with a sigh.

"Oh. Even the kids are watching you," Reever added as he pointed to a little boy who seemed to look a little terrified at seeing him.

"Are you an idiot?" Komui asked, slapping his forehead before shaking his head.

Kanda chose to say nothing and ignore the sight of the redhead, walking away. It was just a waste of time talking to this idiotic rabbit who always acted like a random comedy fool acted in dramas.

"Hey! Won't all of you be excited entering a department place which is filled with the atmosphere of Christmas?" Lavi demanded from them, feeling slightly insulted. It was really weird of them for not being enthusiastic at the merry feel of Christmas arriving. He peered at the silver-haired teen who seemed to be in a daze for a few minutes.

"Right, Allen?" Lavi said as he went over to him and draped his arm around his shoulder. Allen blinked as he jumped slightly, startled by his sudden movement. He was so preoccupied by what had happened just now that he did not notice that they had already entered the department store.

"Yeah." He smiled. He slapped himself inwardly, telling himself to stop acting like a pathetic fool in front of everyone. It was supposed to be a happy occasion today! He couldn't be selfish and only think of his own mood. Silver eyes narrowed as he slowly brought out another smile.

"What are you thinking just now? You look so stunned," Lavi asked. Lenalee peered at him silently.

"The days which we are spending together for Christmas. I was so looking forward to it," Allen replied and laughed. The awkward atmosphere finally returned back to normal as he engaged a conversation with Lavi and the rest. They walked around the shopping mall, buying whatever that they needed and the Christmas ornaments for hanging the Christmas at Lenalee's house.

"Hey Krory! You have to hang the lightings on the christmas tree very carefully this time! Don't get electrocuted again!" Komui reminded the vampire who was a klutz at times. Krory could only bit his lips and nodded his head, a slight flush of embarrassment on his face.

"Someone has to help him. I will make sure that the lightings are carefully handled," Marie said as he patted his shoulder to reduce some of his embarrassment. Krory smiled in return, glad that there was someone to guide him.

"I will help too!" Chouji shouted.

"Everyone will be helping," Komui said, while staring angrily at Lavi and Lenalee who were snuggling close _- too close -_ together.

"I was so glad I can meet you, Allen," Rou Fa said as she went to his side. She probably noticed that he was too quiet compared to his usual days. Everyone was enjoying themselves as per normal, yet he couldn't seem to join them as he wanted to. The young girl had a rather sweet smile as she played with her pigtails. He smiled back in return.

"Yeah, me too. How are you doing nowadays?" He asked.

"Uhm..." She pondered as she looked up, before looking back at him again. "Well, frankly, even though I am not working at the Asian Branch, but I'm still working at a Chemistry lab in Norway so...I guess I have not cut ties with Science technology after all...because I really like Science a lot..." She replied as she looked at the front, showing a content face. Allen just listened in silence.

"There was a time when I really hated technology, because humans made use of it only for producing weapons to create endless wars and hardships among the people. It was supposed to aid us in our lives, but it was used in the completely wrong way, just like the Holy War. I really felt like giving up and throwing everything away, thinking that it might help cease the war...until I met you."

"Met...me?" Allen questioned with slightly widened eyes, surprised. Rou Fa nodded her head.

"You are one of the victims of the Innocence, yet you made use of the power to save lives which are almost destroyed by the powers of technology. It was so hard, yet you did not give up at the end. That determined face you wore at that time...had left a deep impression on me." She said as she turned to look at a brown-coloured winter coat hung in front of her which was for men's wear. As she felt the soft and smooth material of the coat, a smile slowly appeared at her lips.

"For the first time, I wanted to work hard to create a new technology to help Exorcists like you."

He did not say anything. Rather, he couldn't say anything.

"Allen? Uh, don't mind what I have just said! It's only my opinion!" Rou Fa panicked instantly as she waved her hands vigorously.

Suddenly, Allen started laughing. She stopped waving her hands as she stared at him with a stunned expression. He shook his head, telling her silently that he was fine, and he did not mind what she had said just now in the least. He knew that she was trying to cheer him up, but somehow, it did not end up the way it should. But somehow, he was glad that she spoke her feelings out to him. It was probably the first time someone had looked up to him in this way. Even though he was predicted to be someone - a hero who would kill the Millennium Earl in the end, rumours still spread, especially on the topics on him as a Noah. It wasn't nice, to the point of hurting, because people looked up to him only as a tool to eliminate the main source of evil and end the Holy War completely.

"Thank you, Rou Fa," Allen replied, smiling. She just blinked in slight confusion, wondering what was going on. People did try to talk to him about this before, but he had never felt this comforted.

"N-No...I am glad that you cheered up a little, Allen..." She stammered slightly as she looked elsewhere in slight awkwardness.

"Do you have anything you want to buy for Christmas?" She asked.

"Probably not." He had bought the presents for them earlier on. Allen stopped walking as he started pondering hardly. Was there anyone whom he had forgotten to buy present for?

"By the way, this wristband really suits you, Allen-" As Rou Fa touched the wristband and was about to take it up and show him when she felt another hand touching hers. Turning around, she stared at a young woman with bright auburn hair looking at her as well. She blinked, slightly astonished by her sudden appearance. Or rather, the pretty and extremely stunning looks she had which were making her losing her confidence.

"I'm sorry. You have taken it first." She apologised and released her hand.

"N-No, no! It's okay!" Rou Fa stuttered dumbly, and after seconds, wondered why the hell she was apologising for.

"Rou Fa?" Allen approached her, and when he saw the woman beside her, he stopped. He raised his eyebrow, and slowly, he began to frown. Somehow, this person standing in front of him right now looked extremely familiar, as though he had definitely seen her somewhere...

"Allen! Why are the two of you so slow? Hurry up!" They looked up and saw Lavi coming over. Allen looked away immediately when he noticed that Kanda was looking at their direction. The redhead stopped as he stared at the stranger.

"Someone you know?" He asked.

"Mandy?" Silver eyes widened slightly. Lavi blinked a few times as Kanda walked over to the pretty lady standing across him. He gave her a look again, before he turned and gave an increduous stare at the raven-haired man, shocked that this antisocial and attitude-problem guy could have the skill to get to know this hot babe. Kanda ignored him as usual.

"Kanda! I'm surprised to see you here! Why are you here? Shopping for Christmas stuff?" She exclaimed as she smiled widely.

"I was being dragged here -" Kanda was being mouthed by Lavi before he could say another word.

"Hi! You are Kanda's friend? Are you sure you are this Kanda Yuu's friend?" Lavi asked in curiosity, pointing at Kanda who was being gagged and struggling to get free from his clutches.

"Yeah! I understand what you mean, because you wouldn't expect someone like Kanda to know someone like me right?" Mandy said as she laughed.

"You are so totally right!" Lavi laughed loudly, and as Kanda wrenched off his hand and tried to hit him on his head for doing that to him, the redhead tilted his whole body to the left and dodged his attack. Seeing how fuming the raven-haired man was when he missed, Mandy giggled even louder, totally amused by this side of Kanda that she saw today.

"You are going to get it from me later, usagi!" Kanda seethed in anger.

"Usagi? As in...rabbit?" Mandy questioned in slight intrigue.

"Kanda has the habit of calling us nicknames. Like for example..." Before Allen knew it, Lavi took him by his arm and pushed him right in front of them.

"This guy is called Allen, but Kanda always calls him 'Moyashi', which means beansprout. It must probably be his small height for his age..."

"Hey, I'm not that short now!" Allen protested.

"But now, it seems that he is still calling him by that nickname. I rarely hear Kanda calling Allen by his real name though..." Lavi continued. Allen stared at the ground, feeling totally awkward and out of place. Mandy just blinked, not knowing what to say. Kanda was silent throughout the whole conversation.

"W-What are you talking about, Lavi? Let's go. Everyone's waiting," The silver-haired teen said as he reached out and took Rou Fa's arm unconsciously, pulling her away. The grey-haired girl just blushed at this intimate gesture as she followed him quietly.

"Hey, since you are Kanda's friend, why not join us in the Christmas shopping? The more people the merrier!" Lavi suggested. He turned to everyone, seeing how they reacted to this. No one objected, and they seemed to be alright with this. Allen stopped in his footsteps as his eyes grew wide, shocked. The situation was already so bad, and she had to come in at this point of time. But on second thoughts, why should he care?

"If it's okay with all of you, I wouldn't mind. Would you?" Mandy asked as she turned to Kanda.

"It's okay with me."

"Okay! Let's go!"

"Are you alright, Allen?" Rou Fa asked, shaking his arm slightly. Allen just stared ahead in silence, wondering what he was exactly doing.

* * *

He couldn't get his eyes away from him.

The two of them were mostly walking together. Although he had no right to, he couldn't help but feel a slight tinge of jealousy when she was around him. Allen bit his lip as he controlled those absurd thoughts, turning to look at the dazzling and sparkling ornament balls for the Christmas tree. He gritted his teeth as he stared at his reflection from the colourful balls.

Was he that desperate?

The silver-haired teen looked around by himself, thinking of various situations which might happen between Kanda and Mandy. He wasn't even sure on their exact relationship. He couldn't forget that particular moment when he saw Kanda smiling at her while standing in front of the large Christmas tree. Yes, they might be the best of friends, but Kanda wasn't the type of person who would _smile _for anyone. The sun would probably rise from the west if that bastard really smiled all of a sudden.

He stopped by a shelf, staring at a small statue of Santa Claus. As he took it up and fondled with it for a moment, he glanced at a corner where Kanda and Mandy were lingering there, looking at the pretty white angel statue displayed on the table. Silver eyes narrowed with annoyance, and after a few seconds, he turned around and smacked himself inwardly, wondering why he was behaving this way. It seemed so childish, so totally not himself. Worse, now he was acting like a complete stalker. He shivered at the thought of it, slightly disgusted.

His eyes almost popped out of his eye sockets when the two of them were laughing between themselves heartily. Urgh, what was this 'lovey-dovey" feeling he was getting from the both of them? What was their relationship? He wanted to know! That arrogant BaKanda could just tell them that the two of them were dating instead of hiding in a corner and laughing like lunatics. It wasn't as if...he was going to...mind right? After all, he and Kanda did not start anything at all...

"Damn..." Allen muttered as he leaned against the wall. What was he getting jealous about?

"Allen! Are you okay? You don't look good," Rou Fa went over to him and asked in concern.

"I'm fine," Allen replied, and as he was about to move, his legs suddenly lost balance and he stumbled, almost falling onto the floor. His hands gripped onto her hands as he got hold of himself, before he stood up properly.

"Thank you, Rou Fa."

"Are you sure you are alright? She asked in uncertainty.

"Yeah, I am." He turned to look at them again. They were still engrossed in their conversation. He turned back, wondering what he was hoping for.

"I think we should buy brighter colours for this year's Christmas theme," Lenalee said as she took a variety of red, blue, yellow, green and all the colours of the frills that she could find.

"Good idea. We should also buy the white powder to decorate the window glass panes as well," Marie remarked.

"And a big, golden star!" Lavi exclaimed as he ran to them, holding on to a large golden star sprinkled with glitters.

"Can you stop running around, Lavi? And who the hell are you holding?" Komui screamed as he stared at his arm which was draping around his precious sister's shoulder.

"Can you just stop it and accept their relationship? Everyone has known and is okay with it," Reever sighed as he stared at Komui who was getting a little paranoid over such a small matter.

"What? I will NEVER ACCEPT IT!"

"Nii-san! How long are you going to be behaving like this?" Lenalee asked in slight denial. Komui showed a horrified expression as he turned and faced the wall in slight depression, mumbling something about his precious and cute sister talking back to him for the first time and so on.

"Just calm down, Komui. Is it really bad?" Froi asked as he patted his shoulder gently. That childish and sister-complex old man began to whine and complain to him about his precious sister Lenalee being polluted by a certain stinky redhead and so on. Lavi frowned at his remarks, having the urge to correct him that he wasn't a stinky brat, but thinking of the current situation, it was better to let him say whatever he wanted.

The redhead turned to see Rou Fa and Allen talking rather well, although the two of them were just mere acquaintances in the Asian Branch and they really did not talk much to each other at that time. Rou Fa's clumsy behaviour seems to have sparked something within the silver-haired teen, and Allen couldn't stop laughing. It was probably her way of comforting and cheering him up, he guessed. After all, it had been a long while since he saw that real cheerful smile of his again.

"Hey, Yuu -" He stopped calling when he realised that Kanda was looking at a particular direction - straight at Allen. His lips hung open for a moment, before it closed, emerald eyes observing him in silence. There was something weird going on with him as well. He was unusually quiet around Allen, and that soft gaze he used on Allen was totally different from before. That particular moment when Kanda was desperately calling out the silver-haired teen's name did not leave his mind.

* * *

"What are you looking at, Kanda?" Mandy asked, coming to him.

"Nothing." Kanda replied, before turning away to look at some random stuff. Ever since Allen talked to him about..._that_, he couldn't think right today. As he reminisced on their past which were only full of fights and quarrels, he couldn't believe that Allen harboured such affection for him. They had always hated each other, but when had it become like this?

He glanced at Allen, and saw that he was laughing with a girl who was supposed to be from the Asian Branch. She had probably taken care of him when he was there. His laughter rang softly at his ears, and he couldn't help but feel a little lightened up by the mood. Though he did not want to admit this, but this midget had the ability to bring laughter and happiness to everyone. Their moods would always depend on his current mood. He thought he wouldn't be like them, but before he knew it, he was also affected by his presence as well.

It had always been a question mark when it came to how he truly felt for Allen. They had always been bickering for years, so they were considered as rivals at that time. Sometimes he felt angry by his empathy towards Akumas, sometimes he felt slightly sympathetic towards Allen on his identity. In the past, he wouldn't even flinch when he heard Allen's name, but towards the end of the battle, he was a little concerned whenever Allen was injured, because that pathetic fool wouldn't care for himself and was willing to sacrifice his cursed body for the greater good. People might think this was right, but no matter how he thought about this, it felt totally wrong.

He wondered why he even felt this way. Was this...how he truly felt towards Allen?

"This looks nice," Mandy commented as she took up a white statue which was made up of many angels.

White reminded him so much of Allen. So much of it.

Kanda hissed as he ruffled up his fringe, feeling rather irritated.

"You don't like it?" She asked, seeing the frustrated look he had. Kanda just stared at it for a moment, before he shook his head slightly.

"It's really nice."

Suddenly, he felt a tight grip at his arm. Kanda stopped and turned to look at Mandy who was staring at him with a serious expression.

"What?"

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Why do you ask?" He asked. Her gaze softened, before she loosened the grip at his arm and stared elsewhere.

"Nothing." He stared at her and frowned, wondered what had happened. Mandy seemed to be acting rather strange lately.

"We are going, Yuu!" Lavi shouted from a distance.

"Who are you talking to, you baka usagi -" Kanda stopped talking as he met Allen's gaze at that moment. The silver-haired teen just stared at him silently with an emotionless expression for a while, before he turned around and joined the rest. He turned away, and as he felt the strands of his raven hair at his ears, he couldn't help but feel slightly pissed.

"Kanda?" Mandy asked, looking at him in slight bewilderment.

"No. Let's go."

After walking for a few hours in the department store, everyone seemed to be eager to find a restaurant to settle their dinner. Lavi was whining about wanting to try the new Korean cuisine restaurant which was opened rather recently. Kanda spoke that he did not want anything except his Japanese soba. Komui felt like trying Chinese cuisine for a change. After several discussions among one another, it seemed that they could not settle for a mutual agreement yet.

"Want to join us for dinner as well, Mandy-chan?" Somehow, Lavi just added a 'chan' by the back of her name before he noticed it.

"Eh? Is it okay? Because it's a gathering for all of you..." Mandy said, hesitant.

"No, no! We won't mind! Since you are Yuu's friend, you are our friend as well!" Lavi said, grinning.

"I told you not to call me by my first name!" Kanda hissed.

"Eh? Why? It fits you perfectly! Right, Mandy-chan?" Lavi asked as he leaned lightly against her shoulder.

"Yeah. It really suits you, Kanda. It's...cute..." She said with a soft laugh. Lavi blinked for a few times, staring at her with an astonished expression. Kanda seemed rather immune by this. After all, he had been called like that by his colleagues for so long until he was tired of asking them to shut up.

"W-What?" She asked in slight confusion, wondering what had happened.

"Mandy-chan, don't tell me..."

"Okay, we are going into the Korean restaurant, Lavi!" Lenalee took the redhead's arm and pulled him inside. The two of them just stood there, feeling slightly awkward.

"Should I...join you all as well?" Mandy asked softly, looking down at the ground. Kanda just let out a sigh as he started moving into the restaurant.

"What are you standing here for? Come in," He turned back and said when he noticed that she hadn't moved from her position. Mandy just looked up and blinked in slight bewilderment, before a smile appeared on her face as she nodded her head.

* * *

The silver-haired teen just watched them through the glass at a corner in silence. As he thought, he was starting to regret when he confessed to Kanda at a spur of moment. The two of them...really looked...compatible...

His hands clenched tightly, an anguish feeling suddenly washing over him in an instant. He cursed inwardly to himself, wondering why he was behaving like a stupid fool. What was he waiting for? What was he hoping for? There was nothing he could be waiting for. Nothing. Rather than to let his feelings be returned, he did not want to be the bad guy breaking the two of them apart. Allen covered his eyes, feeling tired and wrecked. This affection should already be put down three years ago, yet he was still holding it and before he knew it, everything just crashed down to the bottom.

"Allen?" Lenalee asked, coming to him when she noticed that he hadn't moved from his position. Everyone had already sat down, choosing the food they wanted to try from the menu. It was rather surprising for Kanda to join them because this obstinate guy wanted nothing but his favourite Japanese cuisine, but it had been three years. Everyone seemed to have grown out of their usual characters and changed. As he stared at them, he realised that he couldn't stay on like this anymore.

"Are you okay? You look really pale." Lenalee frowned, knowing the cause of it. She gripped onto his hands, giving it a real tight squeeze. This had got Allen's attention, as he turned to her in a slight bewildered expression. She gave a soft smile and hugged him gently.

"If you have reached a point which you cannot hold it anymore, please remember that I will always be here for you."

"Thank you...Lenalee," He mumbled softly.

"Hey, are the two of you coming to eat?" Lavi shouted.

"Yeah, we are!" Lenalee got out of the embrace, her hand reached out to his and clasped it. Allen followed her as they went to the table which was already placed with colourful dishes of delicious Korean food. The silver-haired teen settled down next to Rou Fa, which was the only available seat. He wasn't really comfortable though, because sitting across him were Mandy and Kanda. Lenalee thought of exchanging seats with him since she understood the situation, but he refused, saying that it would make it even obvious.

"Are you hungry, Allen?" Rou Fa asked. Allen nodded his head in agreement and smiled. There were kimchi, small dishes of vegetables and snacks that he had wanted to try a long time ago, and the dish he was looking forward to, was the spicy seafood hotpot. Thinking of it made his stomach growl with anticipation. He took the chopsticks placed beside his plate, and with slight difficulty, took some raw seafood and put it into the boiling soup. As he was about to put a raw chicken meat inside, his fingers suddenly slipped and both the meat and chopsticks fell onto the table.

"Is it the first time you are using the chopsticks, Allen-san?" Chouji asked. They were staring at him with incredulous gazes. Allen flushed in embarrassment. Lavi was laughing at the other side of the table.

"It just slipped past my fingers. And don't laugh, Lavi!" Allen snapped at the redhead in slight annoyance. After receiving glares from Lenalee, Lavi began to quiet down as he focused on eating his food.

"It's okay, Allen. I would always drop my food before I realise it. Here you go," Rou Fa said as she put the cooked meatball onto his plate.

"Thanks," Allen said with a smile, as he used another clean pair of chopsticks to poke through the meatball and popped it into his mouth. His lips parted slightly, and as hot steams of air escaped, he began to chew slowly. After a few minutes, he swallowed everything and licked his lips, feeling satisfied. As he looked up, he noticed that Rou Fa's face was a little red.

"Are you okay?" He asked. She stiffened at his question, slightly astonished. Rou Fa then looked away.

"No, it's nothing..." He just glanced at her for a moment, before he continued to eat. Allen then stared at the chilli paste he wanted to try when he was eating Korean cuisine, but it wasn't placed in his reach. Rather, it was between the plates of food which belonged to Kanda and Mandy. Silver eyes gazed at Miranda who was sitting beside Mandy in hesitation, wondering whether he should ask her to help him instead, but people would question on why he didn't ask Kanda to take for him since he was sitting directly across him.

He would rather die than to ask a favour from that arrogant jerk. Allen stared at his bowl of rice and took a spoonful of it, deciding to forget about it. It wasn't as if he could not survive without the chilli paste...though, he had a feeling that he would regret it. Allen gave a slight pout as he stared at his rice in slight dejection.

Suddenly, he heard something being placed in front of him. Silver eyes widened at the chilli paste that he wanted, before he looked up at the raven-haired adult who was staring at him.

"You want it right?"

"Mhm...thanks..." Allen mumbled as he chose to look down at the chilli paste instead, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

_"You are here." _

_He looked up, seeing Kanda standing by the door. Silver eyes slowly widened._

_"Why did you..." His voice trailed off as he stared at him, shocked. _

At that time when they were still Exorcists, Kanda would always manage to find him, no matter where he was hiding. Surprisingly, it was always Kanda who would know his thoughts rather well. He could still remember exactly how Kanda would come in whenever he was facing problems. Even though he never said anything, he just somehow knew.

"Here, Kanda. You like this right?" Mandy smiled as she put a small fishcake on his plate. Kanda grunted in slight annoyance, but did not reject her offer. As they started a conversation between themselves, Allen just watched them in silence. Silver eyes gradually drifted to the boiling soup in the hotpot, feeling slightly uneasy and out of place. He sighed as he closed his eyes for a moment, before he heard their laughter ringing softly at his ears.

"You sound really happier than before, Kanda," Marie said as he stared at his former comrade who had been fighting alongside with him for years. Kanda just snorted in reply.

"Is it?"

"Ne, does Kanda always show such a bitchy face when he was still working with you all?" Mandy asked eagerly. Kanda turned to her, shocked.

"What the hell -"

"You wouldn't want to imagine it! This guy was famous for masking an expressionless face at that time. It took us a lot of time to encourage him to show more of his emotions. Well, it was rather hard to make him smile," Lavi commented as he laughed.

"Shut up, Lavi," Kanda hissed quietly as he turned away, feeling slightly embarrassed. Lavi snickered as he peered at the raven-haired man who seldom felt embarrassed about his own actions.

"Oh, you are embarrassed."

"You want to die is it?" Kanda growled as he glared at the redhead. Everyone burst out into laughter, knowing that he did not really mean it. As the remaining dishes were being served to the table, Lenalee said that they should meet again to decorate the Christmas tree together. It had been a long time since they came together and celebrate Christmas, like what they did when they were still in the Order. Everyone seemed to be fine with it, other than Tiedoll who had other matters to settle, and a reluctant Kanda who did not like social gatherings in the first place.

"Come on, Yuu. Don't be such a spoilsport," Lavi whined as he went over to him and nudged his shoulder.

"Go away. You are spoiling my dinner," Kanda said as he continued to eat.

"Ne, Yuu-chan!"

"I told you not to call me by my first name!" The raven-haired adult hissed as he gave a scowl. The redhead stared at him with puppy-pleading eyes as he begged him to come and join them. As Kanda stared at his incredulous expression in slight exasperation, the words he wanted to snap back just disappeared in an instant. He sighed as he felt his head and turned to stare ahead, wondering whether he had turned soft over the years. Those feelings just surfaced out of its own accord before he realised it.

"Well, Yuu?" Lavi asked again. Kanda just peered at the portrait hung on the wall in front of him.

"Well...when I finish my assignments on hand, maybe I could..."

"THANK YOU, YUU-CHAN!" Before he could finish his sentence, Lavi shouted at the top of his voice as he reached down and pounced onto him, giving him a tight hug. He almost choked on his food as he jumped slightly on his seat, frowning.

"Oh. This is really surprising. When have you become this soft, Yuu-kun?" Froi asked with a raised eyebrow, intrigued on the change in his stoic behaviour.

"Shut up, old man," Kanda muttered softly as he looked away. The former general just smiled, glad that his son had finally opened up to them. He sighed as he took his cup of rice wine and gulped everything down.

"So happy about it?" Komui asked at his seat, glancing at him. Froi just chuckled softly, before he stared at the group of teenagers talking cheerfully among themselves.

"Can't help it. Ever since I took him in, that boy refused to give me a smile, always living in his own world. It has always been my wish to make him smile genuinely one day. Now, my wish has finally come true."

"Yeah, it sure is," Komui murmured.

"Well, it is partly because of Allen-kun as well, right?" Froi said as he smiled at the silver-haired teen. Allen just blinked in slight bewilderment.

"Allen?"

"Yeah. Ever since Allen-kun came in as an Exorcist, Yuu-kun is beginning to change. For someone whose past isn't as good and yet still able to maintain a smile on his face pisses him off the most."

Silver eyes slowly widened.

"Because of this, whenever the two of you met, you and Yuu-kun would always end up in fights and quarrels. Your views clashes with his, and he does not like working together with someone who only shows sympathy to others and not to himself. He thinks such people is weak and will definitely fail as Exorcists whose purpose is to eliminate the enemy in front of him, no matter who he or she is," Froi explained as he scooped a spoonful of soup and poured it into his bowl of white rice.

"I have never seen him getting so worked up before. Frankly speaking, it shocked me."

"I..." Allen did not know what to say.

"So that's why, I have to thank you for this, Allen-kun. You have somehow triggered something inside that boy's heart which had shut off everything, helping him to open up once again. Although you and Yuu-kun's personalities totally differ from each other, somehow, I have a feeling that both of you understand each other more than we do," Froi continued as he took the spicy kimchi by his chopsticks and ate it.

"Like opposite polars...attract?" Bak asked.

"Eh? Don't tell me..." Fou said, pondering hardly, before a devilish smile appeared on her face portrayed with an evil look.

"What exactly are you thinking right now?" Bak questioned the robotic girl with a sigh.

Allen just laughed as he turned back to his empty plate and bowl, before realising that he had already finished his dinner. The hotpot was nearly empty as well, with almost nothing left except the remains of the soup. He felt the long strands of his silver fringe, feeling slightly stupefied.

_"Why are you acting so strange today, Moyashi?" _

_"Are you going to run away from me again?" _

_"If you hate me, why are you doing this? Why are you...holding me back?" _

_"That is because you are the person that is fucking holding me back!" _

_"I couldn't erase you from my mind. Ever since you left like this, I kept thinking about you till it was literally driving me crazy! I also do not know what the hell is wrong with me, but something just struck within me that something strange was definitely happening to you that night, and I have to find answers to it, or else those memories would not leave me alone!" _

_"Who are you to me? What right do you have to make me reduce into this state?" _

Silver eyes slowly widened as his heart pounded hardly at his chest. Kanda had changed so much...because of him? Why was that so? He looked up at the raven-haired adult.

Why was this so? Why did he...change so much?

He then remembered that smile he shared with Mandy in front of the Christmas tree. As much as he did not want to admit it, the reality was slowly sinking in. It was true that Kanda did change, but he did not just change because of him. Allen looked down as he gripped his denim pants tightly, having slight difficulty in keeping up with this pace. It felt as though...this person was slowly getting out of his reach.

"Allen, are you alright?" Lenalee asked, violet eyes narrowing with worry.

Kanda was...further away than he had thought to be. He stared hardly at his lap, feeling the tears slowly surfacing. He was so stupid to believe that his feelings could be returned. How could that be? They were just rivals, having opposite personalities of each other, and their relationship had already ended three years ago. They always quarrelled, bickered and fought when they did not see each other eye to eye. The silver-haired teen breathed in hardly, covering his face with his hand.

What was he exactly thinking?

"Allen!" Allen jumped from his seat as he stared ahead - straight into the sapphire eyes of Kanda's. As he peered closer at the deep orbs, he wondered why till now, he hadn't realised that his eyes were so bright and so beautiful from a closer view . He thought that his gaze was always very dull and filled with no emotions at all, but today, from the look into his eyes, he could tell that he wasn't as stoic or as emotionless as he really was. There was something even deeper; something which he couldn't decipher.

Allen looked at the cup he was holding and slowly let out a slight, bitter smile. He did not know Kanda one bit at all. Suddenly, it felt as though the both of them were still strangers.

"I'm alright. Just...a little giddy."

"Is it? Do you want to go home?" Lenalee asked worriedly. Allen shook his head in reply. He felt confused and lost on his own feelings. He had thought that among the people he knew here, he knew Kanda the most. He had to be kidding. He knew _nothing _about this guy. Nothing at all.

"I ate too much." He laughed.

He felt so tired towards this one-sided love, for the first time.

* * *

"I'm so full!"

"That is because you stole my share!" Both Krory and Chouji grumbled in frustration. Lavi just let out a loud burp before smiling sheepishly to himself. As the three of them began arguing among themselves, the rest of the group stepped out into the open, breathing in the fresh scent of the night breeze. Allen went out of the building, and as the night breeze brushed past his body lightly, he couldn't help but hugged himself as he tried to keep the warmth from escaping.

"So what shall we do after dinner?" Reever asked.

"Sing!" Lavi waved his hand and exclaimed.

"Crash into someone's house and chat till daylight!" Fou suggested excitedly. Bak seemed to have other plans, while everyone was suggesting to go to Lenalee, Komui and Allen's house to look around. Komui seemed to be slightly stunned by the idea, while Lenalee refused hurriedly, saying that she had not tidied up the apartment for today yet.

"Lenalee's house is really nice!" Lavi said as he grinned. Lenalee just stared at him in slight astonishment.

"How do you even know? It is as if you have gone to their house once," Fou frowned as she answered. Lavi just gave an arrogant smirk and sniggered quietly to himself. Komui was staring at him intensely for a moment, before his eyes widened as he came to a conclusion. Before the redhead could reply, he was held down by a pair of strong arms belonging to Komui as he was putting in his very best to strangle him to death.

"K-K-Kom-Komui, wh-what are...are you doing...doing..." Lavi gasped and wheezed as he clasped onto his arms, struggling to get free.

"N-Nii-san!" Lenalee shouted, horrified.

"If I do not exterminate you on the spot, I will not be called 'Komui Lee'! How dare...how dare you step into our house without permission...what have you been doing there, huh? Explain to me! Explain!" Komui screamed at his ears. Lavi just gasped as he realised that the grip became tighter. His face was gradually turning white as his eyes were rolling upwards.

"Scary!" Rou Fa gasped as she stepped back, terrified.

"Hey what do you think you are doing, Komui? Calm down, can you!" Everyone was trying to pull away the former Black Order's scientist away from the poor redhead who was gradually suffocating from the lack of air. After a few minutes of tedious pulling and persuading, they managed to separate the two of them, one side with Komui snarling and growling like a mad dog, and the pale Lavi who was coughing and spluttering as he breathed big gulps of fresh air.

"Komui, you are really going to kill me is it..." He muttered breathlessly.

"Of course! I won't allow anyone to get closer to my Lenalee!" He shrieked in reply. Emerald eyes just widened slightly as Lavi stared at him, stunned.

"Can you just stop your childish behaviour, nii-san?" Lenalee said, frowning.

"Lenalee! How could...how could you talk to me like that!" Komui gasped in shock.

Before Lenalee could answer, she felt a hand grabbing her right wrist as she was being pulled closer to the former bookman junior. Violet eyes just blinked in slight astonishment as she slowly turned to look at him, before her eyes widened at the serious expression he was wearing.

"Komui, no matter how many times you are rejecting, my feelings for Lenalee will never change. I hope you can understand." The atmosphere seemed to become tense as everyone stared at one another, unsure of what to add on to this conversation. Kanda peered at Lavi, noticing that the cheeky expression he always wore had disappeared. Komui seemed to be slightly shocked by the sudden change in his attitude as well.

"Lavi..." Lenalee followed the redhead as he walked to the back of the group, staring at the darkness ahead. She went to his side, sliding her arm around his as she leaned gently against his shoulder. She then peered at him, seeing him brushing his long fringe aside in frustration. She knew that Lavi had been taking in all of these, to a point which he couldn't hide anymore.

"Can you just stop this? You are spoiling everyone's mood," Reever sighed as he knocked on Komui's head lightly. Komui gave a pout, wanting to voice out his displeasure, but after seeing everyone's unhappy faces, he let out a huff, deciding to let this go.

"I'm alright, Lenalee. Don't worry," Lavi turned to her and smiled. He returned to the group and soon, everyone was eagerly discussing on what they should do for the night. The olive-haired girl looked at him worriedly, but before she could say anything, Lavi walked back to her and took her along by his hand. She then noticed that Allen had been standing there in a daze for a while.

* * *

_I love you._

He had no idea why he felt so cold. Was it because of the weather? Was it because of the clothes he was wearing which were not thick enough to block away the wind? Or was it because of the cold and unfeeling reaction he got from Kanda after his confession? Somehow, as he recalled those heated words, that burning emotion he once felt was long gone. All he received was the painful tug at his heart and the emptiness he got from him and Mandy beside him. No matter how he tried to do, he couldn't chase away the coldness which was slowly stealing the warmth away from him. No matter how he tried to avoid, that awful stain would always be there, making him really sick and tired.

Suddenly, he felt strange warmth entering his body again. He turned around, his eyes widened in shock to find Rou Fa taking off her white woolen scarf and wrapping it around his neck and shoulders.

"I noticed that you are shivering for the past few minutes. You might be cold, so I thought that this would help," She said, focusing on wrapping the scarf thoroughly to prevent the warmth from escaping again. He wondered why she was being so helpful and kind towards him. Allen held the thick scarf up to his lower jaw, sniffing the light fragrance of rose. The scent was rather refreshing. Allen peered down, realising that he had finally stopped shivering.

"I'm glad that you have stopped shivering. Feeling better now?" She asked.

His hand gripped onto the furry and warm material of the scarf, feeling slightly uneasy. As he looked elsewhere, his eyes had accidentally met Kanda's gaze once again. Allen looked elsewhere immediately.

"I think we should just go back to rest early, considering that some of you might have jet-lag after reaching London," Lenalee said. Everyone seemed to agree, and after a few minutes, everyone was walking separate ways.

"See you in Christmas!"

"See you!"

"Bye!"

He and Kanda were going separate ways. Allen stared ahead, seeing him and Mandy standing closely together, smiles lit on their faces. He saw the pair of hands patting on her shoulders gently. She was trying to control her giggles, while Kanda just frowned and gave her a look.

_I'm sorry._

It went back to the night whereby he rejected that hand three years ago. Now, as he stared from afar, that same hand was reaching out for someone instead. Silver eyes widened as he felt a sudden twist of heavy emotions within him, making him feel slightly lightheaded. If he had got hold of that pair of hands at that time, would he be seeing a different situation now?

"Allen!"

He heard a shout, and the next thing, something grabbed his wrist. Allen felt a sudden whirl as he was being spun around and was facing a raven-haired man which he least wanted to see. Allen blinked in bewilderment and slight irritation at the presence of the raven-haired man, wondering why he was here.

"What the hell are you doing, you stupid beansprout!" Kanda snapped as he glared hardly at him. Allen looked around in a daze, trying to gain back his focus.

"Nothing." Allen pushed away those arms, looking away.

"Are you alright, Allen? You almost crash onto the lamp post!" Lenalee exclaimed. He stared at her, slightly stunned. The silver-haired teen then turned and stared at the solid metal lamp post just a few centimetres ahead of him for a while, before he looked up at Kanda.

"You dumbass...are you insane?" Kanda hissed. Everyone was staring at him in shock. Allen couldn't help but flush slightly in embarrassment at his clumsy behaviour. What stunned him most of all was the anxious and agitated tone in Kanda's voice, sounding as if he was really worried for him at that time.

However, as he thought about this, he started to frown in slight suspicion. He had no idea why Kanda was yelling at him, and why he was so angry just because he almost crashed onto a lamp post. Why was Kanda acting so nicely to him? Why did he care?

"Why do you care?" Allen retorted, silver eyes glaring back at him.

"Hey, hey. It has been so long since the two of you meet. Can we just skip the quarrelling? Lavi said in concern as he noticed the hinted fire lit between them which were about to start once again.

"What are you talking about?" Kanda questioned angrily. Silver eyes narrowed in anger as he shot a death glare at him.

"You know what I'm talking about!" Allen snapped back, before realising what he had exactly said. Silver eyes widened in astonishment as he touched his lips slightly, wondering why his tongue slipped at this moment. The silver-haired teen just stood there in a daze. He then turned and walked away, only to be stopped again by a hand grabbing his arm.

"What do you mean? I can't just ignore it and allow you to slam yourself onto that lamp post!" Kanda yelled in fury. Allen was about to argue back when his gaze met Mandy's who was standing beside the raven-haired man, giving him an astonished look. His mouth hung open for a moment, before he closed it and turned around, wondering why he had lost it all of a sudden. The silver-haired teen walked over to the olive-haired girl standing beside Lavi and took her hand, pulling her away.

"Let's go home, Lenalee." Lenalee just blinked, before she nodded. Everyone went separate ways from there. The three of them did not say anything throughout the whole journey, and as they reached home, Allen took off to his room immediately. As he turned and shut the door, he stood behind the door, staring at the blank night sky. His body began to tremble, and before he knew it, tears started streaming down his face.

Images of his confession and the happy moments spent between Kanda and Mandy today flashed in his mind, again and again and again. Allen covered his face as he slowly slumped down onto the floor. He hissed in anger as he rubbed away the tears messily, but the tears couldn't seem to stop. He gasped breathlessly, hitting on the left side of his chest which hurt so badly as he cursed himself repeatedly. He had a feeling that all of this was going to end, and this horrified him. It was supposed to be a happy day today, yet...

"Forget him."

His eyes slowly widened.

"If it really hurts so much, forget him. Forget him, Allen." Lenalee's soft voice echoed from the other side of the door. He just stared ahead in a daze. Allen then noticed the photo book containing pictures of his friends from the Order. He slowly stood up and walked over to the table, touching the edge of the book and flipping it open. He then saw Kanda in one of the photos, showing an emotionless expression. His hand slowly trailed along the photo, memories flooding in his head.

_I love you._

As he shut the book and put it into his drawer, Allen swore it would be the last time he would shed tears over this. After brooding for so long, it was finally time to put a closing to it.

* * *

A/N: This chapter is mostly focusing on the bonding among the members. Not much Yullen, but there are hinted ones. I tried not to write too much angst on Allen, but I guess it's unavoidable writing Allen's feelings at the last paragraph. Tell me if there are any mistakes spotted!


	9. No Turning Back

**Chapter 9: No Turning Back**

_Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant? ~Henry David Thoreau_

**x - Colourful Moments - x**

Allen yawned as he walked out of his room early in the morning, feeling slightly groggy and sleepy. The silver-haired teen rubbed the side of his body as he stretched his arms, walking to the dining room to get his breakfast before going to work for the whole day. As he reached the living room, he could see Komui sitting on the couch, reading the newspaper. Lenalee was at the dining table, eating the egg tart in her hand. His eyes lit up at the delicious food as he strode over quickly.

"Oh, good morning, Allen," She said, seeing him coming over. Komui just looked up from the newspaper briefly, before he continued reading in silence. Allen nodded his head in acknowledgement as he sat down and grabbed himself a warm and crispy egg tart in his palm, taking a deep sniff before munching on it.

"Mmm...nice," He muttered, grinning. That grin did not seem to be...sincere.

"Allen, are you joining us in the decoration of the Christmas tree in the afternoon later?" She asked. He shook his head, his attention still on the egg tart in his hand.

"I need to work. It's best to work harder and earn more this time before Christmas arrives," Allen replied. She peered at him, her mind unconsciously remembered the words she said to him last night, and she couldn't help but wonder whether she was too direct at that time. Was he working very hard continuously just to forget the pain?

"I see. If that's the case, would you mind buying some groceries after your work?" Lenalee asked, taking the list on the table as she handed it to him. Allen threw the last bits of the egg tart into his mouth and took the list, reading the ingredients that were listed inside the paper.

"So many?" He asked in slight surprise.

"Well, at least twenty of the members previously from the Black Order are coming, so there is a need to prepare more. Furthermore, your appetite is still as...big compared to the days when you are still an Exorcist." Allen just blinked for a moment, before a flush of red appeared on his face. Lenalee stared at him in slight amusement, before she chuckled softly. The silver-haired teen gave a frown in reply. He gulped down the glass of milk and got up, grabbing his coat and bag before heading out. As the door slowly closed with an inaudible click, the whole house was silent.

"Lenalee." The olive-haired girl turned to see her brother staring at her.

"What happened yesterday?" He asked, noticing that something was amiss. Violet eyes widened slightly, before she averted her gaze elsewhere, not knowing how to answer him. That agonising and pale face he wore throughout the whole journey back home still etched deeply in her mind. She tried to ignore it - after all, Allen would not like it if she kept pushing him for the reason, but when she heard soft weeps coming from his room, she could no longer take it.

_Forget him._

_If it hurts so much, forget him._

Was she right in saying this? She just...did not want Allen to suffer anymore.

"I don't know, nii-san. Frankly, I don't know." Komui just continued to stare at her silently. Lenalee peered at the moving time shown from the antique clock placed at the corner of the house. It was said that time would eventually heal all wounds, either physical or mental ones. The only question was: how long would it take? How long would Allen continue to remain like this, pretending that these feelings did not exist?

How long...was this going to continue?

* * *

Kanda adjusted his shades at his nose as he slowly paced around the old historical building of St Paul's Cathedral, admiring the exquisite and beautiful stone structure which had been maintained from the 17th century till now. He took one step up with his right foot as he held his camera and took a few shots of the building from different angles. The raven-haired man walked up to the building and walked around, his hand touching the sides of the stone pillars gently as he took a closer look at the structure of this magnificent building.

He heard continuous deep sounds of the bells ringing faintly in the vicinity. Sapphire eyes narrowed in slight curiosity as he followed the sounds of the chimes, coming to the main doors of the church. Even when he was standing a few metres away from the church, he could hear the chants and the singing of the prayers from the people and the pastors inside. His black boots thudded softly through the ground as he approached the doors, peeking through the small gap as he witnessed the real thing by his own eyes. Even though he wasn't a Christian, he was slightly awed by the sight.

"Excuse me."

He turned around, seeing a couple standing behind him. Kanda stood aside and let them pass. As the white doors of the church slowly closed with a soft thud, he had the sudden urge to go inside and experience it himself. Somehow, as he was standing here, it reminded him of the days when he was still an Exorcist in the Black Organisation, represented by a black cross. At that time, Exorcists are known as 'God's Apostles', clergymen who had said to have obtained the powers of God. They were representatives who would punish and banish the evil forever.

He did not believe God, or the stupid saying that they held God's powers or whatsoever. The power he had was something which he deserved out of hard work and perseverance. God was just bullshit. If there was God, He would not let this tragedy happen to all of the people existing in earth. God was just a mere illusion people created in their memory to cling and depend on whenever there was danger befalling on them. God was just people's own imagination of someone who did not even exist.

The raven-haired man turned and exited the cathedral, walking down the long flight of stairs. As he reached the ground, he couldn't help but looked up and stared at the cathedral one more time, admiring the view. The church bells continued to chime loudly throughout the surroundings.

Even now, he still did not believe that God existed.

However, he could not help but admit that without this 'God', humans would have died out long ago. It was that unknown energy from their strong faith towards God that it would be a better day tomorrow that drove them forward and succeeded in the end.

His life was moving forward, but perhaps too quickly. He stumbled upon a knot which was difficult to loosen it, and now he was stuck, unable to get out of it. Nothing had ever stopped him before. Whether it was during battle or his personal matters, nothing had ever troubled him. No matter how hard he tried to think, he couldn't think of anything, and he knew that time was running out.

Raven-coloured hair strands fluttered at his ears as Kanda stopped at the bus stop. He glanced sideways, seeing a guy wrapping his scarf around a girl's neck. A soft smile appeared at his face while the girl looked away in shyness. He stared at the both of them for a moment, before he slowly turned away, putting some of his hair strands behind his ear lobe in slight awkwardness.

He then remembered the scene when Rou Fa wrapped her scarf around his neck.

She was smiling warmly, like this guy standing right across him...

And he received it with a soft expression, his hand grasping onto the soft material gently as though he wanted to cherish it wholeheartedly.

And at that moment, he swore he felt his heart wrenched slightly in pain.

* * *

Allen whistled softly as he rode his bicycle down the road and streets, looking out for the heavy traffic and making sure that the packed food and drinks he was delivering in the afternoon was still intact. He lifted up his cap as he took note of the road signs that he passed by, before he swerved his bicycle at the first left turn and entered the empty streets. As the wind blew right at his face, a grin appeared on his face. This was one thing he liked about this part-time job he was taking. He always liked being outside, feeling the presence of nature around him.

He slowed down as he stopped by a roadside. The silver-haired teen stepped down the bicycle as he took it up and pulled it in front of a shop. Allen took the delivery in his hand as he stared at the name of the beauty shop.

"Excuse me!" He shouted as he pushed the door and went inside. A soft jingle from the small bell attached at the door echoed in the quiet and serene environment. Soft footsteps were heard, before a beautiful lady in her twenties came out of the corridor.

"Allen!" She said with a smile. Allen smiled back.

"Here's your lunch!" He said, putting the plastic bag of food and drink onto the counter. She bent down and took up her wallet, before she took out the money and handed it to him.

"You are still working?" She asked in curiosity. Allen nodded his head.

"It feels weird not doing anything! Furthermore, I can earn a few bucks! Isn't this good?"

"Don't tire yourself out. It's almost Christmas. Are you celebrating with anyone this year?"

"My friends have come back for a gathering after a long while! I'm looking forward to the Christmas party!" Allen piped up in excitement, grinning from ear to ear.

"I see. Do you currently have a girlfriend? If yes, you can bring her out on a date this Christmas eve or Christmas day itself."

Allen stiffened on the spot. He wasn't sure what to reply her-no, whether to reply her on this question.

"What's wrong?" She asked in slight bewilderment. Allen just stared at her for a moment, before he laughed.

"No, I don't have a girlfriend yet." She gave an astonishing look.

"Really? I am surprised. A kind and good-looking boy like you should have one at this age. What a waste."

Just then, Kanda came to his mind. Allen frowned, before he shook his head and chased away that image.

"Don't worry. If you are bored, you can find me," She said with a wink.

"Miko-san!" Allen exclaimed in slight astonishment. The adult laughed at his reaction. He knew she was just joking around, but that sour and uncomfortable feeling lingering at his chest hurt a little even till now.

"Stupid baKanda," He muttered.

"What?" Miko blinked.

"No, no! Nothing! Nothing!" Allen laughed. After bidding farewell, he stepped out of the shop, hearding the soft jingles of the small bell ringing at his ears before the door closed completely. He took his bicycle and pushed it forward to the roadside, deciding to return to the cafe. He stepped onto the pedal firmly, riding out onto the open road as he began his way back. His silver strands flew lightly with the wind descending down, bringing slight shivers along his body. Birds chirped brightly as they soared across the clear sky in flocks. Allen stopped at the front of the traffic, adjusting his scarf at his neck as he was enjoying the relaxing feel that the environment brought him.

Everything seems to be forgotten in an instant.

_Do you currently have a girlfriend? If yes, you can bring her out on a date this Christmas eve or Christmas day itself._

He remembered the words she said just now. To be honest, it stung really badly. It was meant to be a joke - something not meant to be taken seriously. He knew it very well, yet he could not respond the way he wanted it to be. He was not supposed to think further about it, but he simply couldn't forget him, and he couldn't forget the feeling it brought him when he witnessed the two of them spending their time together.

He couldn't ignore the pain. It hurt. It really hurt.

The traffic light turned green. Allen pushed the pedals, moving forward. The coldness was taking away his warmth, and those thoughts continued to haunt his mind. He began to reminisce, and his emotions started to disturb him. The silver-haired teen stopped pedalling as he travelled down a gentle slope, turning left as he entered the entrance of the large and historical london bridge which had existed for centuries. He peered out at the sea/large lake, observing the small boats and ships passing beneath it.

The bicycle began to slow down, and he started pedalling once again. He went out of the London bridge, proceeding to the neighbourhood where the cafe would be.

He wished he could arrive at the cafe as soon as possible, so that he had something to do to distract himself from those thoughts; so that those memories would gradually be forgotten; so that his heart would not be beating so heavily as his feelings was slowly sinking him down beyond darkness; so that everything about him could be erased completely.

Allen opened the doors of the cafe. The tiny bells attached at the handle rang softly. Those thoughts did not disappear. His heart was thumping messily and in uncertainty. The pain did not go away, and he was feeling even more wrecked and lost, unsure of where he should be heading. Kanda was still there, vivid in his head. It was excruciating, to a point where he was about to lose control of himself.

When was he going to let it all go?

* * *

His hand stopped. Kanda stared for a moment, before he looked up, seeing people boarding and alighting the bus. His hand then began to move again, drawing hurriedly lest he forgot everything due to the earlier distraction. After finishing the outline, he stopped, peering at the sketch in a slight daze as his mind drifted to that particular time when Allen confessed to him, when he gave him the cold shoulder, and when he suddenly burst out in anger and yelled at him.

Sapphire eyes narrowed. Ever since they parted ways on that night, everything changed. He couldn't bring himself to sneer and mock at the silver-haired teen over the slightest things, and Allen did not answer spitefully back to him. All he felt when he stood beside him, was endless awkwardness and a slight tugging feeling at his chest, as though the pain was constantly telling him that if he did not do anything to change this situation, it would turn worse than this.

Frankly, when Allen confessed to him, he surprisingly did not reject this kind of approach, which was definitely weird because he would flee whenever his female colleagues pounced onto him and shamelessly expressed their feelings for him. Rather, he felt an indescribable feeling bubbling inside his stomach. What exactly was that, he did not know. Was it even necessary to know anyway?

He twisted the pencil around his fingers slowly. His heart thumped hard for a second. Kanda felt his heaving chest getting heavier, so heavy that it could sink down any moment. His lips parted, his eyes staring at the light sketch in slight astonishment. He couldn't explain the feeling he had, and most importantly, why he was responding this way towards Allen Walker.

Why Allen? Why?

The pencil slipped and fell onto the sketchbook with a soft thud.

The bus jolted out of a sudden. He was snapped out of his thoughts as his body jerked forward by the strong impact. Catching the pencil which was rolling down the sketchbook, Kanda slipped it into his pocket as he secured the sketchbook in his bag and stood up, pressing the bell to alight. The raven-haired man took his camera carefully in his hand, seeing the vehicle stopping by the bus stop and opening its doors.

He stepped down onto the side of the road, his hand brushing away the flying strands of his hair as he peered at the roadsign which wrote 'Westminster Abbey'. As he reached the tourist attraction corner, he took the camera and began snapping pictures around the area, admiring the view at the same time. Each time he took a picture, he made sure to note down the features and brief description of the scene he had snapped.

He walked along the crowd.

_Snap._

He leaned against the railing.

_Snap._

He stared at the description of a sculpture in the middle of the road.

_Snap._

Kanda looked for more places to take, before he slowly stopped in his footsteps.

A silver-haired guy was kissing a girl who was blocked in view. The picture was beautiful, yet he somehow did not like this feeling it brought him. Kanda brought his camera to his eye and observed it. The guy stopped kissing as he pushed her away gently, firm eyes gazing strongly at her. She looked back, her gaze burning into his.

He snapped the picture. Turning around to leave, Kanda couldn't help but placing his hand at his chest. The wrenching pain he got earlier was coming back again.

And he had no idea why.

* * *

"Enjoy your meal," He greeted his customer with a smile as he pushed the tray of food to him. The customer thanked him as he took the tray and returned back to his seat. Allen called for the next customer in queue as he began taking her order. After registering what she had ordered, he left the counter to get the drink, before going into the kitchen to get the food ready.

"Working hard lately are you, Allen?" John, one of the chefs, called out to him.

"It is my job, and I always put in my very best to do it well," Allen replied with a smile as he took the plate of sandwich on the table and proceeded outside, putting the sandwich on the tray. Picking up the receipt and checking through the items listed inside, Allen turned around and took a fork and a knife, before placing them neatly on the tray.

"Enjoy your meal. Please collect your cappuccino at the side of the counter. Thank you very much," He said. The customer took her tray up and went to the side to collect her drink. Allen tiptoed a little as he signalled for the next customer to come up to the counter. As usual, he put a smile on his face, say a greeting in politeness before placing the order.

"Allen, Jimmy needs your help!" One of his colleagues called out from the kitchen door.

"What is it? I'm still in the middle of serving a customer!" Allen shouted back. He took out the cheesecake which the customer wanted and placed it on the tray, instructing him to wait at the side for his frappucino which will be ready in a few minutes. As his other colleague took over his place, the silver-haired teen rushed into the kitchen to check out.

The small bell jingled softly as the door opened.

"Where are you sitting?" Kanda said in his phone as he peered around. Seconds later, he saw a hand waving to him. The raven-haired man ended the call and approached Mandy who was sitting at a corner with a cup of cappuccino in her hand. A smile appeared at her lips as she observed him sitting down across her, putting his sling bag at an empty chair beside him. He turned to stare at her in slight bewilderment.

"What?" He asked in slight uncertainty. She just shook her head and continued smiling.

"Nothing!" She piped. "Go and order something!"

Kanda nodded his head and took out his wallet from his bag, before he stood up and approached the counter. If she did not say anything, he wouldn't have realised that he was rather hungry now. He peered up at the menu, wondering what he should get.

His arm suddenly hit onto somebody standing behind, causing her wallet to fall onto the floor. He apologised as he bent down and picked up the brown wallet, taking the coins which dropped along the way.

Allen came out of the kitchen and took a cloth lying on the table, before he turned and walked back to the kitchen.

"Thank you."

"You are welcome," Kanda replied, before he turned back to the front, deciding what he should get for his lunch once again. He was a person who did not eat much, just a small portion enough to last for the whole evening. He was not like that certain beansprout who just swallowed all large servings of different food in just a few minutes and would still not be full. He would cringe at the satisfied face expression he would make after finishing all of his food, and he couldn't help but criticise his disgusting eating habits, which would turn to a fight between the two of them.

Kanda stopped at the realisation of what he had done. His stomach began to churn uncomfortably. Recently, his mind would be thinking of Allen, and the guilt began to surface again, the aching pain pounding at his chest every time he breathed.

_Sorry._

He breathed hardly, throwing away his thoughts as he decided on a latte and a egg ham sandwich for his lunch. Mandy would chide him for eating so little again. Kanda reached out for his wallet inside his pocket, and as he opened it, that photo fell out and dropped onto the floor. The raven-haired man just stared silently at the four faces he once knew from the past who had occupied most parts of his entire life. He slowly bent down, his hand stretching downwards as he took hold of the photo.

_What? Would there be something that makes you, Kanda Yuu, look back? You won't. There is nothing that holds you back at all. Nothing._

His voice echoed deeply in his mind.

"Excuse me, are you moving forward?" The lady behind him tapped his shouldered and asked. Kanda muttered an apology and moved forward with the queue. The sudden recollection had almost thrown him off. He did not know why he had been feeling this way recently. He could not understand why it felt so horrible every time Allen appeared in his head, as though he was about to suffocate. He could not hold back his emotions at the thoughts of Allen Walker.

_You know what I'm talking about!_

"What do you want, sir?" He looked up, facing a waiter who was about to take his orders.

At the same time, Allen exited the kitchen, walking behind the crowds of people as he pushed the door and went out of the cafe.

* * *

"You want me to buy fresh turkey before I come home?"

"Yeah. I have forgotten about it the last time I visited the supermarket. I hope that it hasn't sold out yet. Is it convenient for you?" Lenalee asked from the phone.

"I don't mind," Allen replied.

"Great. I will pay you when you come back."

"Okay." Allen ended the call and slipped his phone into his pocket. He gazed at the white scenery, taking in a deep breath before breathing out warm vapours of air which dissipated in the cold air instantly. Grey clouds were hovering in the pale sky, and he wondered whether it was going to snow heavily around evening. He hoped it wouldn't, or else he would have a hard time going back home later. He moved his feet a little to chase away the numbness, his hands clasping together to keep the remaining warmth in him. It felt so good standing here enjoying the cold season and the snowy view, but he had to return back to his post soon.

He sighed, and as he turned, he stiffened.

Mandy was just sitting at the corner of the cafe.

Even though he did not know her, somehow, whenever he saw her, he would remember things that he did not want to remember. He did not expect to meet her at this kind of circumstance. Allen tidied his hair and slipped his hands into the pockets, hesitating whether he should enter the cafe or not. He did not know what the hell he was hiding for, and why he was acting like a coward who felt so shameless. But whatever the reasons were, he just did not want to see her.

Soft jingles echoed throughout the surrounding as the silver-haired teen pushed the door gently, making sure that it did not gain people's attention. Luckily though, people were busily eating and chatting with their friends and family that they did not notice him. Allen heaved a sigh of relief as he walked in, pacing across queues of people as he reached the entrance of the kitchen.

He thought this was over.

Silver eyes slowly widened as he saw Kanda joining Mandy at the table.

_Why was he here? _

Wait, why couldn't they eat together? They were colleagues and close friends right? There was no reason why they shouldn't be together.

Mandy was talking something to Kanda. The raven-haired man was listening at first, before his eyebrows furrowed and he was showing an indescribable yet amusing face. The auburn-haired girl stared at him incredulously, before she burst out into laughter. Kanda snorted in reply and looked away, munching his sandwich in his hand. Seeing how displeased he was, Mandy managed to control herself as she nudged his hand, wanting him to face her. He faced her, and a few minutes later, she laughed again. This time, Kanda gave a small smirk, not noticeable but definitely obvious. At least, to him, it looked rather obvious.

_Forget him._

Lenalee's words echoed in his mind, again and again. His heart thumped heavily in reply.

_Forget him._

* * *

"Thanks for eating lunch with me today, Kanda. I enjoyed it," Mandy said as the two of them exited the cafe and went out into the open.

"Che. Nothing much," He replied with a slight snort. Mandy giggled slightly at seeing his reaction which might be cute. Kanda hated to express himself, yet his reactions could be obvious at times.

Soft jingles were heard as the doors of the cafe were opened.

"Sorry, I have to make a move first. I need to buy something before I reach home," Allen said with an apologetic smile, walking out of the cafe together with a small group of his colleagues who were about the same age as him. He then noticed that someone was there, and as he peered forward, his heart almost halted at seeing the two familiar figures in front of him.

"Allen?" Mandy said in slight shock.

Kanda was staring at him.

"I...I guess I really should go. See you guys next year," Allen stammered slightly, waving to them as the group left. After a few minutes, he stopped waving, realising that they were still there. The atmosphere somehow turned awkward. The silver-haired teen took a deep breath and turned towards their direction.

"You work here?" Mandy asked.

"Yeah," Allen replied, not knowing what to say.

"I see. I did not see you in there! Did you see him, Kanda?" She turned and asked Kanda. Allen continued to face her.

"No."

"I guess you were doing other things. Where are you going then?"

"I'm going to buy fresh turkey before going home."

What was he doing?

"Wanna come with us?"

"No!" He exclaimed immediately. She blinked in slight astonishment. Silver eyes widened in shock and slight bewilderment. The word just slipped in his mouth, but he did not want to be involved in anything about Kanda anymore. Every time he saw him, he would see the different expressions he had, and it always related to this girl. Every time they met, she was always there. Every time he saw them, that pain would come back and haunt him. He did not want...to get hurt again.

"I'm...going." Allen gave a weak smile and moved forward. Their bodies brushed against each other, and as he gradually walked past him, silver eyes widened slightly at the light touch at his arm and the strong feeling begging him not to walk away. He badly wanted to stop and turn around, but he also knew very well what he would get if he stayed. Now it hurt, not because he longed for his attention. It hurt, because it would be the last time his feelings would remain for this person.

What did it feel like to be able to stare at each other as though they were fated to meet? Could a greater miracle take place than for them to look through each other's eyes for an instant?

No. There was no miracle in the first place.

_Are you going to run away from me again?_

A small, bitter smile appeared on his face.

He wasn't running away.

He had to.

* * *

And he just stared in silence as Allen walked past him without a word.

And at that moment, it hit him hardly. He did not expect this to end this soon.

Allen was not turning back.

* * *

I apologise for my deteriorating writing skill. It has been hard to keep up with my writing ever since projects began to pile up week by week :/

I'm sorry for the late update, but I hope that you all would at least give a review to tell me your opinion about the chapter? Although this is not really well-written, but I really hope you all will enjoy it :)))

Updates will be slow, but please bear with me. I will definitely finish this story!

And thus, please review once again, my lovelies! Thank you so much!


	10. Choice

_Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. ~William Jennings Bryan_

* * *

_Colourful Moments_

_Chapter 10: Choice_

* * *

_I'm...going._

Sapphire eyes snapped open as he stared at the blank ceiling of his hotel. Kanda just stared, dumbfounded and slightly frustrated. After contemplating for good few minutes, he concluded that it was only a dream and nothing else. He frowned slightly, his arm stretching upwards as he ran his fingers through his hair strands, before he gripped the white covers in slight anxiety. He slowly took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down.

All he could see and remember was Allen's sorrowful eyes and the hurting feelings which was the only thing he could see from that silver-haired teen's face. He looked so torn up and so broken, like a broken doll which was never the same after it was repaired. He could not avoid looking at his broken expression. He could not understand why people could not see that. Was he the only one who saw through that beansprout's real emotions?

Kanda slowly got out of bed and stepped into the washroom. He washed up quickly and went out, dressing up and preparing himself to go out later. The raven-haired man made sure that his hair was combed neatly, and after wearing his white-coloured winter hat on his head, he grabbed his black coat and his sling bag which was filled with the things he needed to draw whenever he needed them. As he took the keys, he slowly stopped.

_I'm going._

Allen looked as though he was about to cry.

His hand slowly clenched tightly as he gritted his teeth in slight anger. His heart pounded hardly at his reactions. He did not know what he was thinking and what he was exactly doing. Was he...was he being sympathetic over that idiot? He wasn't! He did not even a damn about that beansprout! It wasn't his business to care anyway. Who was he? He was Kanda Yuu, someone who did not care anything except his own pride and feelings! Just by thinking of his emotions stirring a slight bit over Allen was enough to make him sick.

_No._

_No. No._

The raging feeling in him slowly dissipated. Silver eyes now stared at him with emptiness and with no feeling was so distant–something which he wanted so long ago–yet he could not put away the slight thought that it was extremely disturbing and surprisingly disappointing. Allen Walker had discarded everything regarding to him, and the two of them had finally cut that invisible yet annoying tie which bound them together. He could finally erase everything in regards to Allen Walker, yet it wasn't like that. Allen was going away, yet he couldn't seem to...let go of it.

Comparing to the annoying feeling he always had when he was partnered with Allen during missions when they were still Exorcists, the emptiness he felt this time was worse. It was contradicting since he always loved quietness and tranquility surrounding him. When Allen was leaving, he had the slight urge to reach out and stop him from walking away. His body was shaking slightly, his heart pounding painfully as something was choked at his throat and windpipe, making him unable to breathe for that split second. He was so shocked that he couldn't think properly at that moment.

The sudden thought that Allen was no longer turning back struck his mind in an instant. His heart turned cold immediately, as though his whole system had been shut off. Compared to Allen's affection for him, was he the one who was not letting it go? Was he the one who refused to cut the tie completely between the two of them?

His phone vibrated. Kanda stared at the screen, before he picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Kanda? It's me, Marie."

"Yeah, what is it?" Kanda asked wearingly, not feeling the mood to chat with someone at the moment. The raven-haired man frowned as he gathered his stuff, walking towards the door.

"You are coming for the Christmas party this Saturday right?"

"What?" Kanda stopped in his footsteps, facing the lobby a few metres away.

"Aren't you coming? I thought you agreed with Lavi on that day when we were eating dinner together?"

After several seconds, Kanda then realised what had happened earlier. He totally had no idea why he agreed with that redhead to come for that stupid and lame Christmas party, but since he had already agreed, he had no choice but to go.

"Che. I must have consumed too much alcohol on that day."

"Aha. So you remembered." A chuckle was heard from the receiver.

"Not that I do not want to," Kanda snapped lightly as he pressed the ground floor button and the lift doors slowly closed, before the lift descended. After a few seconds, the lift stopped and the doors opened. The raven-haired man stepped out and entered the main hall, putting his phone by his neck as he struggled to wear his black coat. As he went out to the open, he was slightly astonished by the sudden coldness invading his body. He looked up, seeing snow floating down from the dull sky.

_I'm going._

A shiver ran through his body. He opened his hand, letting snowflakes descended onto his palm. The snow stayed for just for a second, before it melted completely and disappeared. He closed his hand and clenched it.

"That's why I hate snow. Always be, forever will be," He muttered.

"Kanda?"

"Nothing."

"Is it? Well, it's good to hear that you are coming. I talk to you later."

He ended the call. Kanda breathed out cold breaths of air, slipping his left hand into the pocket of his coat as he walked out onto the streets. As it was still early in the morning, there were very few people here at the moment. Focusing on completing his project, Kanda walked around the neighbourhood, taking pictures which he thought would provide ideas for his work. The white scenery was simply beautiful and breathtaking, and together with the old buildings in London, it made it even better. The raven-haired man paced along the side of the road slowly and carefully, making sure that he took down all the finest details that he had seen with his own eyes.

After taking some pictures, he walked on, looking around. As he arrived at the centre of the neighbour, Kanda slowly stopped walking as he saw a large, beautifully decorated Christmas tree situated at the middle. He stood there, memories starting to flow in as he remembered that moment when he saw Allen standing across him. That was his first time seeing him in three years when they parted. Now that he thought about it, it felt so nostalgic at that time.

"Yuu!"

Kanda stopped, knowing who that idiot was. Lavi was running towards him with a wide grin plastered on his face. The redhead attempted to pounce onto him, only to miss as Kanda stepped aside and continued to snap pictures as though nothing had happened. Lavi stumbled slightly as he skidded to a halt, almost crashing onto a nearby tree.

"Yuu!" He whined, slapping his hands at the sides of his body.

"Go away. You are disturbing me," Kanda said as he turned his attention to a school in front of him.

"Oh, that's the college that Allen attends," Lavi said, peering inside. Sapphire eyes widened slightly. Kanda observed the surroundings of the school more intently, seeing that the structure of the school was still well-established despite its long years of history in London. It would be better if he could take a close lookup at the school and snap a picture.

The raven-haired man stiffened slightly at the thought of Allen.

"Do you know what has happened to Allen these days?" Lavi asked with a frown. His ears pricked up at the name of the beansprout, but Kanda remained in his position, not saying anything. He felt his chest, feeling a surge of pain reaching up to his throat. He closed his eyes, not wanting to hear anything regards to him.

"How should I know?"

_He wanted to know._

"Why are you talking like that? Show some concern for Allen once in a while! Geez!" Lavi sighed.

"He's a nobody to me," Kanda replied nonchalantly. "It's none of my business."

_...A nobody?_

"Are the two of you still at loggerheads?" Seeing Kanda's emotionless face, Lavi couldn't help but stifle a small chuckle in amusement. "But...the war's over! The two of you don't need to compete over...certain matters anymore! Isn't everyone at peace now?"

"Not us," Kanda replied. Didn't that rabbit know just how complicated their relationship was? It wasn't just in competing in skills and abilities alone. It was more than that, and even he could not figure out what it exactly was, which made him end up in this kind of mess. The raven-haired man let out a soft sigh as he snapped the photo of the school before proceeding down the street. Sometimes he even thought that he was contradicting himself. And it was even laughable when it was related to a certain beansprout.

"What could be so complicated that the two of you can't solve alone?" Lavi asked in slight exaggeration and surprise. He was glad that the smartest and ingenious Bookman Junior had not understood the real problems lying between him and Allen. It would be disastrous if he knew and intervened.

"Nothing you can think of. It's not something you can solve in a few days' time. And stop following me." He tilted his body a little sideways, about 30 degrees to the right as he took a still picture of birds taking off to the sky from the ground. Checking the photo and being satisfied with his photography, Kanda started walking on, only to stop abruptly at a face of the redhead which suddenly popped out in front of him. The raven-haired man cursed under his breath as he stumbled, almost dropping his camera.

"What the fuck, Lavi!"

"What is it?" The redhead questioned.

"What?" Kanda snapped in frustration.

"What has happened between you and Allen! There's something wrong between the two of you! I know it! You two could still communicate through fighting and quarrelling in the past, but this time, nothing! You get it? Nothing! This is definitely wrong here! The two of you won't just shut up and stop retaliating at each other obediently for no reason!" Lavi exclaimed loudly in front of his face. Kanda frowned, wiping away the saliva splattering all over his face. He did not like the way that rabbit phrased the ending sentence, and this was extremely bugging him.

"I don't know what is wrong with that Moyashi. If you want to know, the best way is to ask him yourself," Kanda said as he crossed the road, looking at street signs to see where he should go next.

"You are indirectly related as well. You also have part of the blame here," Lavi said sternly. Sapphire eyes widened as Kanda turned around and gave him an incredulous look.

"Wh-What?"

"Now, only you are the one whom Allen reacts with great disdain...or whatever that feeling is called. Everything in the past was supposed to be solved in the past, not to bring it to the present."

"Stop. Stop this ridiculous conversation right now. I really do not know why you are starting this now Lavi," Kanda hissed in warning.

"And neither do I. Because all I can see right now, is that you are pushing all the blame towards Allen and running away from the problem."

Sapphire eyes widened slightly.

"If you are given another choice–another chance, what will you do?"

Lavi just gave him a solemn look, before he turned and walked away. Kanda just stood there in silence, thinking over and over and over again. He wet his dry lips, slipping his cold hands into the warm pockets as he looked up and stared at the falling snow from the sky. His thoughts were messed up, and through Lavi's words, his mood went a lot worse than usual. But he won't show it out. He would not admit that he felt so fucked up because of Allen Walker.

Because they weren't acquaintances at all.

They weren't supposed to show feelings towards each other.

* * *

He was supposed to occupy himself with work today. To earn as much as possible such that he could enjoy his life in the future and did not need to worry about his own money and spending other people's money, such as Lenalee and Lavi and the rest of his friends. It was the only thing which could keep his mind busy. However, he was already off in the middle of the afternoon and had nowhere to go. All the shops he worked were closing early such that they could go back and celebrate Christmas. He then deliberately walked as slow as he could, counting the number of seconds he took to take a small step forward such that he could reach the nearest supermarket to purchase a turkey.

After 30 minutes from his work off, Allen had already walked out of the supermarket with a large bag of turkey in hand, wondering what he should do next. He stood in the middle of a street, staring blankly at a banner which wrote 'Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!'. As he reached the bus stop and saw his bus coming this way, he began to hesitate whether he should go home.

Maybe he should get a breather. Alone.

The silver-haired teen stepped out and walked on the streets, looking at the nice-looking winter clothes displayed behind the glasses of the fashion stores, admiring the dazzling Christmas lights shimmering brightly across the whole neighbourhood, or simply to enjoy the light and relaxing feel brought by the festive season. The streets are getting emptier, with more people returning back to their homes to celebrate. For someone like him who was not used to the silence around him, Allen seems to like it slightly because he could clear off his mind for now.

Over a certain person. Argh, it was fucking pissing him off right now. He couldn't describe that explosive anger engulfing him whole when he saw the two of them together. When was he going to stop that childish jealousy he had towards Mandy and move on for once? Or maybe the two of them weren't officially going out yet, because he was in the way? If this was so, they could just tell him such that he could step aside and not disrupt their time together. That BaKanda could just answer a 'no' to him when he...he...

Oh why the bloody hell did he fucking confess? Was he nuts? Allen felt like slamming his head against a wall to end his misery from humiliation.

But that was also his problem. It was his problem falling in love with someone like Kanda. He did not know why he would like that kind of bastard, but love was just unpredictable and hard to avoid when it arrived.

He saw an angel at the side of the street and approached him, before he began to try talking to the angel about his woes and ask for his advice to solve the problem. Of course he received no reply from the statue, earning several stares from people instead. Allen did not notice and continued scolding and blaming the angel for giving him such a complicated life, that it would be great if he would fall in love with someone else instead of Kanda.

"Allen?"

He hissed and was about to kick the statue when he stopped. Allen stumbled in his footsteps and looked up, silver eyes widened slightly to see Rou Fa in front of him. The brunette was dressed in a dark maroon coat with long black boots and a muffler worn on her head.

"Hey, Rou Fa! Out here for last minute Christmas shopping?"

"Yeah! Luckily I can buy the presents that I want to give to my friends!" Rou Fa said cheerfully and smiled. The sweetness of her smile seems to have affected him slightly. Allen stared at her with a dumbfounded expression for a moment, before he smiled back at her. Rou Fa did not seem to take notice as she was busily taking something from her handbag. He continued to stare, following the trail from her finger as it brushed past the edge of the handbag, before it went inside again. Silver eyes blinked, wondering why it felt so peculiar observing her movements.

"You are not going home now, Allen?"

"Huh?" He answered absentmindedly.

"Decorating the Christmas tree? Have you forgotten?" She asked. His eyes slowly shifted up, staring straight into her brown eyes.

"Oh. I'm going back after this." He did not know what 'this' referred to.

"I see..." She replied a little awkwardly, a tinge of blush appearing on her face. He realised that she flushed a lot. Well, it wasn't as if girls won't react like that, but Lenalee wouldn't blush that much. He pondered for a few seconds, thinking that their relationship might be not as close–that was why she was feeling uncomfortable, thus she blushed at times. He then peered up at her hair strands at the side of her face.

He couldn't help but lean closer to her.

Rou Fa stared, her brown eyes widened.

His hand reached out and tucked the hair strands behind her ear gently. He then stepped back, pleased that he was able to view her face more clearly. She froze completely on her spot, her eyes staring at him in shock. A few minutes later, Rou Fa turned around immediately, her hands placed on her face which heated up rather intensely.

"Are you...okay?" He asked in concern, approaching her.

"I'm...I'm fine, Allen!" She exclaimed as she turned back to face him and smiled. Allen stopped and blinked, not really understanding what was going on. Somehow the atmosphere became very awkward. Noticing this, Allen was considerate enough not to say anything and just waited. The two of them just stood there in silence.

"Shall we go home?" He asked. She nodded her head. The two of them began to walk to the bus stop, waiting for the bus to come. The silver-haired teen offered his help in carrying her shopping bags, but Rou Fa refused, saying that she could handle it. When they were at the bus stop, they sat together on the same bench. He was tidying up his hair fringe, while she was staring out at the roads blankly.

Their hands put down and accidentally touched. Both of them blinked as they stared at each other. Rou Fa was the first one who broke away from his gaze and redrew her hand. Allen slowly turned to stare at the front, touching his own hand at the same time. It felt warm, but somehow, the feeling wasn't the same from the sensation he had when he touched Kanda's hand...

"Allen?"

He turned to her abruptly.

"Yes?"

"How's your life here in London? Able to get used to it?"

"Yeah. It is supposed to be my birthplace, but other than the days with Mana, I can't remember anymore," He replied. Apart from the painful days wandering aimlessly on the streets with nowhere to go, until Mana came and brought him home, there wasn't much memories of his past to remember. Although he couldn't recall, he was content being back to where he belonged.

"I see. London really changes a lot," She murmured. A car passed by the bus stop.

"Really? You came here?" Allen asked her. Rou Fa nodded her head.

"The condition here in London was really bad. I mean, almost all the continents were invaded with the Millennium Earl's Akumas. The buildings collapsed, the roads were broken from the explosions, bloody corpses were everywhere around the corners, and those disgusting machines originated from humans themselves continued to kill people like it was nothing..."

Allen said nothing.

"Everywhere was a mess. You can hear children's cries at the end of the streets, not because they were abandoned but left behind because their parents were killed."

He felt a slight sting at his left eye. Allen hissed softly, touching his eye which twitched out of the blue. It might be due to his stirred emotions from the recollection of the war in the past. It was brutal, ruthless and simply inhumane. And because of that, he realised just how humans were so vulnerable and weak to protect even themselves alone. He had always wonder, was it retribution for them who were always aiming higher and better in their limited lives, causing them to have a twisted mind going out of control? And after all that insanity, all that remained was emptiness which became completely meaningless. And when this happened, humans would begin to have that same stupid question in their heads: Why do they do that in the first place?

"I have never expected London to revert back to normal. Or it might never revert back to normal at all. But it did, and I'm glad for it," Rou Fa said.

The bus was approaching the bus stop. The two of them boarded the bus, walking right to the back. As they sat down, Allen turned and took her left arm. Rou Fa turned and stared at him in surprise.

"Me too. I'm glad it was all over."

She continued staring at him in silence, before she let out a stuttered laugh in nervousness. Allen smiled back and let go of her arm, peering at the front. The whole journey was a little bumpy, and the two of them did not talk to each other until they reached the bus stop. He pressed the bell and stood up, taking two shopping bags before she could refuse. They alighted and walked their way to his house. After reaching the doorstep, Allen put down the bags and reached into his bag for his keys, opening the door.

"Hi Allen! Oh Rou Fa you came here together with Allen?" Lenalee greeted them with a grin as she walked over to the living room with a box of stuff. He couldn't comprehend at that moment, wondering what she was exactly thinking behind that peculiar smile.

"Oh Allen has come back!" Froi Tiedoll, Marie, Reever and Timothy had already arrived. Allen went over to give them a warm greeting. Rou Fa took her bags over to the dining table and placed them on a chair, wondering what she could do. It felt weird not together with Fou and the usual group she always hung out with.

"Why not help us in carrying these boxes of Christmas ornaments to the Christmas tree at the living room?" Komui suggested, carrying a box in his hands. Rou Fa nodded her head and went over to the corner, taking up a box with her. It wasn't really heavy to hold, but the box was large and being small-built, it was blocking her view slightly. As she staggered through, trying to figure out how she should walk without tripping over, she felt something stopping her. She stopped, looking aside to see Allen by her side.

"I help you carry, Rou Fa."

"N-No! It's okay, I can carry it!" She shook her head and insisted.

"It's okay. I can help you," He answered, his hand trying to take over, but she gripped the box tightly in stubbornness, refusing to hand it over.

"Rou Fa..." Allen's words trailed off as he stared at her.

"It's okay, Allen! I really mean it! It's okay!" Rou Fa replied firmly.

"Okay, why not we carry it together?" He suggested. She thought it over, and decided that it wasn't a bad idea. Komui and the others just stared in slight amusement as the two of them walked carefully towards the Christmas tree. As they were approaching the main door, the doorbell rang.

"Coming!" Lenalee shouted, walking towards the door.

"Be careful, Rou Fa! There is something beneath your feet..." The remark came a little too late as the brunette had tripped over a small stool on the floor. She gave a yelp as she fell forward and was stopped by Allen's left hand holding onto hers strongly while the other hand supported the box to prevent it from falling.

"Are you alright?" He asked, concerned and anxious on whether she was hurt.

"I'm surprised that you are here, Kanda!"

Allen turned, his eyes widened at the raven-haired man who was standing at the door, staring right at the two of them. He almost let go of whatever he was holding and say that nothing had happened between the both of them, but he managed to control himself within seconds as Kanda continued staring at him with an indescribable face and an intense gaze that he couldn't comprehend. That person always faced things with an expressionless face, yet today it was...different. He could not understand why, but it just looked different today.

"Come in, Kanda," Lenalee said with a smile. Kanda stepped inside and took off his boots. Sapphire eyes stared at him for a moment, before they turned to the annoying ex-general who addressed him by his forbidden name and a hug at the end. The former swordsman growled and pushed off his hand, but Tiedoll always managed to give his son a welcoming hug as the old man grabbed his hand and pulled him into the embrace. Aside from several curses, Kanda did not really struggle much and allowed that old geezer to do whatever he liked.

"Allen?"

He slowly turned to look at her, before realising that he was in a daze ever since Kanda came. The silver-haired teen readjusted himself and the two of them continued carrying the box to the Christmas tree. As they put down the box, he couldn't help but recall that moment when their eyes locked together. He peered at the raven-haired man sitting at the corner, having a conversation with Marie. He slowly observed him–his facial features, his movements, the frown on his forehead and his lips which always had little words on it.

Kanda looked up and stared at him. Allen turned away instantly. He stood there and stared at the ceiling, shuffling his feet at the same place for a moment, before he excused himself and walked hastily up the stairs. He entered his room and closed the door behind him, before he sank down on the bed, wondering what the hell he was exactly doing. He closed his eyes, and all he could see and remember was Kanda, Kanda and Kanda.

Allen let out a frustrated sigh as he took his pillow and threw it towards the wall.

* * *

He couldn't explain how he felt when the door opened.

Shocked? Confused? Or simply...getting used to it?

Kanda stared at the two of them, their hands touching each other and the box in between them. His eyes widened slightly, and he wondered why he even reacted. It wasn't his usual habit to react over the slightest thing. He wanted to look away, yet he couldn't. He couldn't take his eyes away from Allen who was currently holding onto someone's wrist. Holding his breath for a few seconds, he tried to comprehend what was going on.

The silver-haired teen stared at him in shock, showing a stilled face expression as though he did not know what to do in this situation. Rou Fa just peered at him in silence, before she turned and faced Allen. She called him a few times, and the beansprout only responded about a few minutes later, staring at her in slight astonishment.

He entered the apartment, taking off his boots before stepping up to the living room. Their gazes only met for seconds, before he turned and walked towards the old man who stood up to greet him. Allen nodded his head dumbly as the two of them began to move the box together to the Christmas tree. That old man was saying nonsense again, but he did not seem to have the mood to correct him and just let it go.

"How's your job so far, Kanda?" Marie asked.

"Okay. I am finishing a major project in hand," He replied.

"Ah, isn't this good? Yuu-kun can spend more time with us!" Froi Tiedoll beamed with happiness as he reached out for a hug, only to be pushed away by Kanda's hand as he glared at him hardly.

"Don't do that, old man. And stop calling me by my first name!"

"Aww, all my sons have finally grown up. As a parent, I'm so glad that all of you are doing well, Ma-kun, Yuu-kun," Tiedoll said as he sniffed and wiped away tears at his eyes.

"Are you ignoring my words now, old man?" Kanda hissed, amazed at how that old geezer could totally ignore him and change to another topic. Tiedoll gave him a playful grin, and Kanda was fighting back the urge to use his hand and fix up that obscene face expression he made. Marie seems to notice his hidden intention and grip onto his shoulder before he could do something insane. The raven-haired man was about to snap when he felt someone staring at him. He looked up and saw Allen standing across him. Their eyes met, and Allen cut off his gaze and turned away quickly. The silver-haired teen then said something to the brunette and went upstairs, before he heard the door closing.

His eyes widened slightly, and before he knew it, he stood up by his feet and was about to leave when Marie called out to him.

"Where are you going, Kanda? You got anything else to do?"

He stiffened. Marie was right. Was there anything he needed to do right now? If not, why was he standing up for no reason? The raven-haired man stared at the ground, his hand touching his left chest where it started to hurt. Was it because of the side effects of his curse again?

"What is wrong, Yuu-kun?" Tiedoll peered at him in concern.

Sapphire eyes narrowed. He put down his hand, brushing away his hair strands from his face in frustration. He couldn't understand. Allen gave him a cold shoulder just a few hours ago, but from the face he saw just now, it didn't seem like it. There was something happening behind the agonising face expression he was making. Something was wrong, yet he did not want to ask. He did not want to have any issues in regards to Allen anymore.

"Hi, we are here!"

Fou, Bak, Wong and the rest of the scientists from the Asian Branch had arrived. Everyone greeted one another cheerfully as the guests proceeded to the living room to sit down. Lenalee was practically rushing through the kitchen to prepare food and drinks for them.

"Oh, you are already here, Rou Fa! Why didn't you tell us that you will be coming here early?" Fou spotted her at the dining table and couldn't help but gasp in surprise.

"I came here right after my shopping trip. Since I am nearer to Lenalee's house, I should come here earlier. Sorry for not contacting you," Rou Fa explained and apologised for letting her worry. The robot girl just peered at her in silence, before a sly grin slowly made its way to her face.

"I see..."

Rou Fa stared her in bewilderment and slight fear, wondering what she was planning in that sadistic mind of hers.

"She met Allen on the way and the two of them came back together," Lenalee said as she held a tray of food and placed it on the coffee table in the living room. Fou gasped loudly, her eyes shone brightly in excitement as she stared at the brunette with a growing smirk. Rou Fa took a step back, sensing that something bad would happen.

"What...is it that I have exactly missed?" She gave an innocent smile as she stepped closer to her, like a predator preparing to pounce on its prey.

"Uh...nothing...?" Rou Fa stuttered as she stepped back.

"Oh? But I sniff something weird about this. Something must have happened...right?" Fou questioned. The brunette blushed and looked away, deciding to find an excuse to escape.

"I...I need to go to the washroom," She turned and took off to the kitchen.

"What are you hiding from me, Rou Fa! Something definitely has happened between you and Allen right! Right!" Fou shouted back, following after her.

"N-No! What nonsense are you talking about, Fou?" Rou Fa said as she hurried towards the kitchen.

"Tell me! Geez, when there is finally progress in your crush, why are you keeping quiet now!" Fou shrieked as the two girls disappeared into the kitchen.

Sapphire eyes widened slightly, before Kanda looked up and stared at the kitchen where they entered.

"What...did Fou say just now?" Marie asked.

"Please don't mind her. She's like that most of the time," Bak laughed, only to faint seconds later when his gaze accidentally met with Lenalee's. Wong sighed and went up to support the former supervisor to the nearest couch to rest. Kanda shook his head in defeat, deciding to forget every ridiculous and absurd scenes that he had seen today.

_Tell me! Geez, when there is finally progress in your crush, why are you keeping quiet now!_

He frowned, thinking over the words that he had overheard. Everything made sense as he recalled the attitude she had and face expressions that Rou Fa always never failed to use whenever she was looking at Allen. The raven-haired man let out a scoff as he turned and stared at the flight of stairs leading up to the upper floor.

"Good for you...Moyashi," He muttered.

* * *

After a satisfying dinner cooked by the girls, all of them gathered at the living room and chatted among themselves. Fou was still pestering Rou Fa on what had happened earlier on, while Lavi and Lenalee were talking softly between themselves, having to look out for a particular sister-complex brother who might pounce onto them any time. Tiedoll, Marie and Chouji were discussing on the latest political moves made by the government, while Krory and Timothy were playing chess, with Miranda sitting beside them to observe on how it was being played.

Allen talked and laughed with the group, before he decided that he needed a breather. The silver-haired teen excused himself as he carefully walked out and went into the kitchen. After getting himself a glass of water, he stepped out and went to the open balcony, leaning against the railing as he took a sip of water and enjoyed the night view. He tugged his hair strand behind his ear, his eyes slowly slid shut as he heard only the soft howls of the night breeze.

_I couldn't erase you from my mind. Ever since you left like this, I kept thinking about you till it was literally driving me crazy! I also do not know what the hell is wrong with me, but something just struck within me that something strange was definitely happening to you that night, and I have to find answers to it, or else those memories would not leave me alone!_

_Who are you to me? What right do you have to make me reduce into this state?_

His heart thumped in slight pain. He slowly opened his eyes, remembering that particular night when the two of them met each other. Now that he thought about it, he realised that it was his own feelings that was causing the both of them to be so awkward, and it was just a burden to Kanda who did not know a single thing until three years later when he just confessed openly to him. At that time, he should have controlled himself.

He clenched the cold glass of water and finished the water. As he turned around and was about to walk back into the apartment, he halted in his footsteps, slightly startled to see Rou Fa standing at the door.

"Rou Fa?"

"Did I...interrupt you somehow?" She asked timidly.

"No. I'm leaving anyway. You can stand here if you want," Allen said and was about to walk off when something grabbed his wrist. Silver eyes widened slightly as he slowly stopped, turning to stare at the brunette.

"Can you...stay here for a while?" Rou Fa asked softly, looking down. The silver-haired teen was silent for a moment, before he nodded his head. The two of them went out to the open balcony and stood by the railings. She tapped on the metal surface of the railings, biting her lip in nervousness.

"Something in your mind that bothers you?" Allen asked her. The wind was rather strong and his loose long-sleeved woolen shirt was fluttered up roughly, showing part of his bare stomach. She turned away and stared at the night sky, slipping her freezing hands into the pockets of her jeans in an attempt to keep them warm.

"No. I just...want someone to accompany me," Rou Fa replied.

Allen nodded his head in acknowledgement. The two of them remained silent for minutes, choosing to stare out at the night view and the bright lights from the Christmas decoration in the neighbourhood. He glanced at her, realising that she was trembling slightly from the cold. He then remembered that her scarf she lent to him was still inside his room.

"You wait for me here. I go get something," Allen said as he rushed into the apartment.

* * *

"You are drunk."

"Am not!"

"You are drunk."

"AM NOT!"

"..."

"YUU-KUNNNNN!" Tiedoll sang as he pounced towards him. Kanda leaned aside calmly as the drunken former general spralled onto the couch with a heavy thud. The old geezer muttered some incoherent words, before he started smiling to himself, babbling about how blissful he was to have two great sons together with him. Kanda just stared at him and scoffed in slight amazement. He stared across, seeing Lavi swaying back and forth while Lenalee tried to support him from falling.

Everyone was having a great time. Kanda took out his phone and checked for any new messages or emails. Other than reminders for his projects and some information sent from his main company in Canada, there were not much important messages to take note. The raven-haired man peered at the Christmas tree beside him.

_"Are you lying?"_

_"No. No, why would I - why would I lie to you?" _

_"What is there to talk about?" _

_"About that particular night. You know that very well." _

_"I told you, Kanda, that there is nothing we can talk about! How many times must I repeat myself?" _

_"No, it's not like this."_

_"Stop it, Kanda. There is a limit to one's patience, and I surely do not have one tonight." _

_"Neither do I. In fact, I have been bearing this for three whole fucking years, and I need answers. NOW." _

_"What? Would there be something that makes you, Kanda Yuu, look back? You won't. There is nothing that holds you back at all. Nothing." _

_"I couldn't erase you from my mind. Ever since you left like this, I kept thinking about you till it was literally driving me crazy! I also do not know what the hell is wrong with me, but something just struck within me that something strange was definitely happening to you that night, and I have to find answers to it, or else those memories would not leave me alone!"_

_"Who are you to me? What right do you have to make me reduce into this state?" _

_"Do you want to know the answer, Kanda?" _

_"It is because...I love you." _

_I love you._

Kanda stood up and walked into the kitchen, getting himself a glass of water. As he drank down the liquid, he glanced outside the window, seeing the moon hanging clearly in the night sky. After drinking, he put down the empty glass and stepped out of the kitchen. Not wanting to stay together with the bunch of drunken fools dancing among themselves, the raven-haired man decided to walk around the house to spend the time.

He walked around the corridors of the houses, before he walked up the stairs to the upper floor. Most of the rooms were closed, but there was one which was opened. He peered inside in curiosity. It was just a typical room, with a bed and a desk placed with textbooks and papers. He slowly stepped in, his fingers trailing along the edge of the door as he observed around the area. Kanda stared at the collection of books on the shelves, before he turned to look at the papers on the table.

As he continued to look, sapphire eyes widened slightly at something which caught his eye. The raven-haired man peered closely, seeing the name which was written on it. He then noticed the portrait of a clown walking on the streets hung on the wall in front of him.

This room had a faint scent of that beansprout. It smelt so...nostalgic.

He then saw a scarf hanging on the chair. Kanda took it up gently, feeling the soft material.

He remembered that moment when the brunette wrapped the same scarf around his neck. A smile slowly crept up his face at that time.

Kanda put down the scarf and left it on the chair. He walked out of the room and went down the stairs.

"Yuu!"

He frowned at that voice. The redhead walked to him and wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

"Where have you been just now? It has been so hard finding you." His words came out in a slur, showing just how drunk he was.

"Get off me, stupid usagi," Kanda said as he pushed away the arm and walked ahead. The redhead continued to pester him, saying things that he totally could not understand. Lavi then screamed at the top of his voice, to his disgust, and started jumping onto him.

"Hey, stop jumping on me! Oi, baka usagi! Stand properly!" Kanda gripped hold of the former bookman junior who was currently in stupor and supported him, deciding to get him to the living room to rest. Halfway, Lavi suddenly wanted to puke, and he had to lead him to the washroom to settle his business. Kanda stood outside and stared at his crumpled shirt in disdain. Not able to stand how dirty he was right now, the raven-haired man was about to walk off to the living room to get something from his sling bag when he suddenly stopped.

He slowly stepped back, his eyes peering at the open balcony.

* * *

Allen ran into his room and stopped by the chair where the scarf was placed. His eyes widened slightly at the position it was currently in, wondering whether he was remembering things wrongly, because it was not hanging at the usual place but was on the base of the chair itself. He frowned for a while, before he took it and went out again, proceeding back to the open balcony.

As he was on his way back, he heard weird laughter coming from the corridor behind. It sounded a little like Lavi. Allen wondered whether that redhead had drank too much and made a nuisance out of himself again. Komui would definitely not be pleased with the ruckus he was making. He sighed and shook his head in defeat.

He could feel the cold entering his skin. Allen shivered slightly and increased his pace. He turned at the corner, seeing the open balcony where Rou Fa was still at. The brunette was staring out at the night view, her both arms hugging herself as she tried to control herself from trembling.

"Rou Fa! Sorry for the wait!"

She turned around and hadn't have time to react as Allen stepped up and wrapped the thick scarf around her neck, making sure that the woollen material covered her skin completely from the cold. The silver-haired teen then stepped back, their faces within centimetres as they stared at each other. Rou Fa just stared at him in slight astonishment, her hands reaching up to the scarf and touched it.

"You lent me your scarf at that time. Since you are cold, it's the best time to return it to you!" Allen said and smiled.

She said nothing.

"I shall go back to see if Lenalee needs help..." He finished and turned around.

"Allen!"

He stopped. She bit her lip slightly.

"There is something...that I need to tell you."

* * *

Seeing someone entering the open balcony, Kanda slowly approached it with curiosity. As sapphire eyes peered through the transparent glass doors, he stopped, seeing the beansprout together with the brunette previously from the Asian Branch. He frowned and looked closer, realising that she wasn't wearing her usual black spectacles. He wondered whether it was to give a different impression for that idiot she had a crush in. Well, he thought it was ridiculous though. Allen was probably too dense to notice her feelings.

Allen stepped into the open balcony and leaned close to her. His eyes widened slightly at the scarf that he took up just now which was wrapped around her neck. The silver-haired teen then stepped back, and the two of them did not say anything but just stared at each other, as though they were waiting for either party to speak out first. He could see the extreme shocked look she had and the flush at her cheeks for the intimate behaviour he made towards her just now.

His breath hitched for seconds. His heart pained for a moment, and he wished he did not see this right now. Kanda cursed under his lips, wondering what exactly he was doing. Was he going to witness another confession which was linked to that idiotic beansprout again?

"You lent me your scarf at that time. Since you are cold, it's the best time to return it to you!"

She did not say anything.

"I shall go back to see if Lenalee needs help..."

"Allen!"

She stopped him with a shout of his name.

Sapphire eyes widened.

* * *

Allen turned around and looked at her.

"What is it, Rou Fa?" He asked. Before the silver-haired teen could react, Rou Fa walked up and hugged him. Silver eyes widened in shock, his mind turning blank instantly. Time seems to slow down, focusing solely on the two of them only. After a few minutes, she got out of the embrace and said something which he totally did not expect.

"I like you."

* * *

_"If you are given another choice–another chance, what will you do?" _

* * *

Hi everyone! Another two more days and it's New Year! I really hope that everyone had a great time celebrating Christmas which was just five days ago. I wasn't able to post a chapter on Christmas Day, and I deeply apologise for this! D:

Another chapter posted for Colourful Moments! All of you must be slightly taken aback by the sudden twist of the story plot. This chapter is focusing more on Rou Fa and Allen. This pairing is rather cute, but of course, Yullen is still my all-time favourite! :DD This chapter is necessary for the progression of Kanda and Allen together, so please do look forward to the next chapter which will be proceeding on to Christmas Eve! I apologise for the long wait again :)

Lastly, I wish all of you readers/reviewers a Happy New Year in advance! Hope that you have achieved your goals you made in early 2011 and have a brand new start in 2012! :D

Please review! Thank you!


	11. Drawn, Against You

**Chapter 11: Drawn, Against You  
**

_When thought is closed in caves, then love will show its roots in deepest hell. - William Blake_

_xxx  
_

Silver eyes slowly widened at the three words which came out directly from her. Allen was stunned for a few seconds, his mind in total blank. He did not know how he should react in this situation, and it was towards a girl like Rou Fa whom he always treated as a close friend.

"W-What?" He asked again, slightly shocked.

"N-No, what I mean is...what I mean is...I like you, Allen!" Rou Fa stammered in her speech and managed to say out her main objective. She was flushing madly in embarrassment, and he could see that she wanted to run away and hide instantly. The silver-haired teen just stayed silent for a moment, processing in his head what he had just heard a few seconds ago. He roughly had an idea what she was talking about, but he just did not expect that to come to him.

Aah, so this was how it felt when someone confessed to you... He somehow understood how Kanda reacted when he suddenly confessed to him out of the blue. Allen blushed and turned away, feeling awkward and slightly embarrassed.

"I don't want you to be burdened by my confession, Allen. Somehow, when you come up and personally wrapped my scarf around my neck, I just felt like telling you this..." She explained hesitantly, staring at the floor as though it was the most interesting thing that caught her attention.

Allen just stared at her in silence.

"If...it is not possible, I wish that...we can still be good friends. Can we?" She asked, her eyes darting elsewhere for a moment, before looking at him again.

He did not know how to answer her. She was a nice girl, and it would be great if he liked her, but other than being a friend, he didn't – couldn't – get a special feeling when he was with her, unlike that someone who had ignited a bright and powerful spark deep within his heart, so strong that he was attracted instantly to it.

"Rou Fa..." His voice trailed off in hesitation. She stared at him seriously, and Allen couldn't bear telling her that the truth. The two of them just stood there in silence as the cold wind howled, drowning everything in its loud breath.

"...you...here...sneaking..."

Silver eyes widened slightly as he heard a voice from inside.

"...you doing here...sneaking around like..."

"Um, Allen..." She started to talk, but all he could hear was the voice of someone coming from inside the house.

The wind gradually died down, and the voice became clearer.

"Hey...what are you doing here, sneaking around like that?"

The silver-haired teen rushed to the door and slammed it open. He stepped inside and turned to look, only to see Lavi in a drunken state as he started muttering to himself regarding something about Lenalee. He searched around the corridor, but no one was there. Allen stopped in his footsteps as he frowned, wondering whether he might be hearing things. Or maybe it was only Lavi sprouting nonsense?

"Allen!" He turned and saw Rou Fa running towards him. She seems like wanting to ask him something, but her feet slipped and she crashed directly at his chest. Allen stumbled slightly as he got hold of her before she fell. She sputtered and sprang out of the awkward position, apologising profusely for her blunder and clumsiness. He did not really pay attention to what she was saying, his mind thinking back to the statement which he heard from outside.

"Allen, are you alright?" Rou Fa asked in concern. Allen blinked for a moment, before he turned to face her.

"Are you okay?" He asked, remembering that she fell just now.

"Y-Yeah, I'm glad that you are there...thanks..." Rou Fa mumbled softly and blushed. She then excused herself and went back to where Fou and the others were.

He did not say anything, his mind only filled with what could have happened when the confession took place. Lavi was calling out to someone in a drunken state, but who was there just now? Somehow, Kanda just entered his mind, and he wondered whether there might be even a single chance that it was him who overheard. However, what could have changed even when it was Kanda who heard everything? He wasn't supposed to harbor such hopes for him.

_I like you._

Those words rang in his head repeatedly, like a mantra which refused to leave him alone. Allen grunted in slight irritation as he walked back to the living room. Lenalee, Komui and the others were there, chatting among themselves. The ex-general looked more sober now as he was talking to Marie at the moment. Lavi was dozing off on the couch. He wondered how the redhead found his way back here.

He then spotted Kanda at the windows gazing outside. The raven-haired man was holding on to his sketchbook and a pencil in his hand. He seems rather concentrated onto something that he was seeing – or so he thought. Allen raised his eyebrow in curiosity, wanting to go to him and asked what it was all about, but it felt awkward asking him such a random question. Who knows what he might reply? He had been rather cautious in his actions to Kanda ever since he confessed to him out of a mere whim.

"What are you looking at?"

Sapphire eyes widened slightly as Kanda slowly turned to see Allen standing beside him, asking a simple question. He wondered why he was taken aback by his words. Was that midget too initiative out of a sudden?

"No, I was staring at the moon." Kanda was good enough to regain his calm composure as he replied him in his usual emotionless tone. Allen found himself standing a little closer to the raven-haired man, peering outside to glance at the moon.

"It's really beautiful..." He murmured softly. The night and the moon brought him back so much memories. When he was still an Exorcist, he remembered that the night was always chilly when people and Akumas were killed. The air gave off an extreme foul smell, and the moon looked slightly dark red, as though it was bleeding itself. He also remembered one chilly night, which was also their last day in the Order, and what had happened between the both of them...

Allen froze, his hand unconsciously reaching up in an attempt to cover his emotions which almost surfaced.

Kanda did not notice, his eyes continuing to look at the night sky. He then opened the sketchbook and began to draw the outlines of his drawing. Allen peered at what he was doing, mindful to keep his distance lest the raven-haired man snapped at him for breaking his privacy. Kanda continued his sketching, his eyes travelling from the night sky and back to the sketchbook and back to the night sky again. His movements were light and swift as he drew out everything that he saw from the night view. Silver eyes followed his black and white trail, staring at the splendid art in awe. It was surprising that Kanda could draw so well.

"Did Froi-san teach you how to draw?" Allen asked out of curiosity. Kanda stopped and turned to him with a mortified expression. The silver-haired teen blinked, wondering whether he had said something extremely wrong and offended him somehow.

"No, obviously not," Kanda replied in a slight scoff.

"I...I see..." Allen laughed awkwardly. Kanda turned back and resumed in his drawing. He just stared at the raven-haired man and sighed. Kanda could be egoistic at times, especially when it was related to his foster father. Even till now, he still did not want to acknowledge that Froi Tiedoll was his father. When was he going to put down that pride of his and acknowledge it? It was so good to have a family as accompaniment. Mana had already left him, and a few years ago, his Master had also passed away. Although he had many friends, and was currently living with Lenalee and Komui, he still yearned for someone very close to live together with him.

Allen stared at the night view outside, before he glanced sideways at Kanda who was still drawing. Somehow, the atmosphere here seems a little awkward to him. He should leave since he had nothing else to say, yet for whatever reason, he did not want to leave. He just wanted to stay by his side, watching him in silence.

"Why do you take up drawing, Kanda?"

His hand did not stop sketching out the outlines and shading different tones of black to the artwork. Kanda might be too engrossed with his work that he did not pay attention to what he was saying. Maybe he did not even know that he was still here. Allen sighed softly as he peered out of the window, his head leaning onto his folded arms resting on the edge of the window as he decided to enjoy the cooling night breeze and the soothing sounds of the pencil drawing onto the sketchbook.

"Drawing allows me to be focused and would not distract me," Kanda replied, his eyes not leaving the sketchbook. Allen turned and stared at him in slight astonishment at the sudden answer. He looked at the sketch which was almost completed.

"It's really beautiful. Your drawing."

Kanda slowly stopped as he stared at him. Allen looked at all the features in this sketch which had described everything about the night view. It was clear, beautiful, and there was strong emotions in it which gave an impact to the drawing. It was drawn from someone who put his heart and soul in completing the artwork.

"Maybe you can draw a portrait of me?" Allen suggested jokingly.

"Che. Go ask that old man for it," Kanda grunted as he closed the sketchbook and walked back to the couch where his bag was. Allen laughed softly at his reaction.

The group decided to finish up the remains of the Christmas decorations before calling it for the day. Krory was helping out with the wires and lights, and as usual, he almost got electrocuted for his clumsiness at handling them. Miranda took a very long time deciding on where the ornaments should be put on the tree. Lavi, after getting more sober, was helping out in hanging the entire apartment with Christmas ornaments. Kanda was bickering with Tiedoll for some minor issues again.

It felt so nostalgic seeing this, as though he went back to the past when they were still Exorcists. Allen couldn't help but smile, observing the people around him. It was the right decision to celebrate Christmas together this year. Everyone was here enjoying themselves. Even an anti-social person like Kanda who hated parties was here to help. It would definitely be the best Christmas ever.

"Allen, why aren't you helping?" Lavi shouted from the corner as he waved at him.

"Che. A Moyashi will ALWAYS be a Moyashi," Kanda said. Silver eyes narrowed as Allen tried his best to laugh sarcastically at this joke.

"What did you say, BaKanda?" He hissed softly, his eyebrow twitching as he shot a threatening glare warning him that he dared to say that again he would not hesitate to tear his mouth off. Kanda turned and stared at him silently for a moment, before a smirk crept out to his lips.

"A...Moyashi?" He repeated, in a more innocent way.

_Ka ching. _This was it.

"My name is Allen, and I am NOT a Moyashi!" Allen growled and the two of them began their usual quarrel which had no end to it. But somehow, this type of feeling he had right now was so much better than those sad moments when he had to force himself to look away and cut all emotions towards the raven-haired man because of the sudden confession. Maybe...it would be better if they continued staying this way – as rivals who had their own prides to protect.

And when he decided, the pain at his heart surprisingly lessened.

_xxx_

"Thank you all for helping with the decorations! Then I see all of you on Christmas Day!" Lenalee said as she stood at the side, sending the guests off. Allen was in his room, gazing down from his window as he saw everyone walking off. The commotions slowly died down, and as he stared closer, he saw Kanda walking together with Tiedoll and Marie.

Just now, what was he exactly thinking? What was he thinking at that time? And why...when he decided that maybe, he and Kanda should remain in their current relationship as rivals...made his heart feel less painful? Does that mean that this was the right decision all these while?

Allen sighed, ruffling up his silver fringe in slight frustration as he turned back and sat on his chair. Does this mean that...he was able to let him go now? He did not know that it would be so simple. Now, all he needed to do was to feel the same way towards Kanda, and perhaps, those emotions that lit a fire in his heart years ago would gradually disappear. Life would turn back to normal. He did not need to be in so much pain from that raven-haired man.

_I like you._

Allen opened his drawer and took out the photo book, flipping to the page where there was a photo with Kanda taken together with Lavi. He stared at the picture closely, remembering all his features and the memories behind this person. Tears slowly welled up his eyes. Allen closed the photo book and covered his face with his hand, feeling the wet tears leaking out and streaming down his cheeks. His heart clenched, and his chest tightened so much that he couldn't breathe properly.

But now, he felt that he could finally let everything go, one by one.

* * *

Lenalee was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. It was Christmas Eve today, and looking at the weather, it was just the right mood to start this festive season. The whole neighbourhood was covered with white due to the snowing last night, but the sky was clear today and there was no signs of snowing again. She smiled and hummed a small tune at her lips, putting the toast on the plate and taking it to the table.

"Good morning, Lenalee!"

She turned to see Allen walking down the stairs in an unbelievably good mood. The silver-haired teen was smiling throughout as he approached the table, eyeing the toast on her hand which was giving out such a nice aroma. Lenalee blinked, staring at Komui sitting at the living room who was also giving him a stunned look.

"Good morning. You seem to be in a very good mood today, Allen," Lenalee said as she put down the plate.

"That's because it is Christmas Eve today! Festive seasons always makes me excited!" Allen replied as he took the toast and ate it. Komui stood up and walked over to the kitchen, taking up a warm cup of coffee and sipped it lightly. He observed the two of them and the current mood right now which seems to be just...right.

"I see." Lenalee pulled a chair and sat down with them for breakfast. "Do you have any plans today?"

"I need to go and meet my college friend to collect my notes. After Christmas, I have to start studying again such that I won't be lagged behind," Allen answered, taking his glass of milk and drank it.

"Would you be able to reach home early?"

"I'm not very sure. It is rather far from here. I'm setting off immediately so that I can come back home quickly." Allen popped the remaining toast into his mouth and gulped down the rest of the milk. He took the plate and empty glass into the kitchen and placed them into the sink. He then walked out of the kitchen and walked up the stairs, disappearing in the corridor. Lenalee bit down her toast and slowly chewed, wondering what brought Allen such a good mood. Even though it was the result that she wanted to get, somehow it felt a little wrong.

"Isn't it great to see Allen back to his cheerful mood?" Komui asked, seeing his sister's worried look on her face.

"I know niisan. But somehow, it did not feel right. Am I...doing the right thing?" She questioned. Seeing Allen in such misery, it was best to forget the person that caused the whole thing, but that would also mean he would suffer another heartbreak. In order to force himself to forget, was Allen putting back his own masks to conceal his emotions and protect himself from getting hurt again?

"I'm certain that Allen understands what you are trying to do. He is not the Allen Walker that we knew in the past, Lenalee," Komui put his hand onto hers and consoled her with a gentle voice. Lenalee stared at him silently for a few minutes, before she nodded her head and smiled.

"Yeah."

Movements from the stairs were heard as Allen walked down the stairs swiftly with his coat and bag in his hands. The silver-haired teen grabbed his keys placed at the coffee table in the living room, before he wore his coat and took out his boots from the shelf, wearing them hurriedly.

"Come home early today, Allen," Lenalee said as she walked over to the main porch and helped to open the main door. Allen thanked her gratefully and ran out of the door, sprinting to the bus stop as fast as he could. After seeing his shadow going further away from the house, she closed the door behind her. At least, Allen was finally back to his old self.

She felt something vibrated in her pocket. Lenalee slipped her hand into the pocket and took out her phone. It was a message sent from Lavi. She read the message and seconds later, deep shades of red appeared on her face.

"What is it, Lenalee?" Her brother seems to notice her expression.

"W-What? Nothing!" Lenalee blurted out in a weird tone, and Komui was getting suspicious at what it really happened. He got out of his seat and walked towards her, grabbing her phone from her hand.

"N-Niisan!" She exclaimed, trying to get back her phone, but Komui turned away from her and read the message that she saw earlier. Violet eyes narrowed as he saw that the sender was none other than that pervert who stole his Lenalee away from him while he was overseas. As he read the message, his eyes slowly widened in extreme horror.

"Niisan, there is really nothing..."

"Nothing?" He asked again. Lenalee stared at him, slightly astonished. He turned to her with an extremely frightening expression that she quivered slightly and took one step back.

"This is called...NOTHING? How...how dare he...send this type of cheesy message?" Her brother was already beyond furious. Even though she was extremely happy for receiving the message, she scolded the redhead inwardly for sending such cheesy and embarrassing words.

"Niisan, can I have my..."

"No! This has to be deleted! How dare he...!" Her eyes widened. Komui searched for the delete button and was about to delete it when Lenalee reached up and finally grabbed her phone away from her brother who always made such a big fuss over what had happened between her and Lavi.

"Lenalee!"

"Niisan, why must you always disapprove Lavi?" She asked back, annoyed.

"Have you forgotten how badly you are hurt over him in the past, Lenalee?" Komui exclaimed angrily. Lenalee stiffened, her eyes widened in shock at his statement. Her brother was trying to protect her, ever since their family had been killed. He was just trying to shield her from danger, and she was very comforted at having such a nice brother, but it was time for her to make her own decision.

"I know you are worried for me, but at that time, he had no choice. We had no choice, because it was war at that time. Now, the war was over, and Lavi wasn't a Bookman anymore. He is just an ordinary young adult. Yes, I was hurt from his harsh words at that time, but...I still love him, and he explained everything to me - why he rejected me in the past. It doesn't really matter now right, niisan?" Lenalee asked. Komui stared at her in silence and with no expression. She could not tell what her brother really felt towards her answer. If he refused again, then...probably this was it.

"Che." Lenalee blinked, before she looked up at her brother who was ruffling his hair in slight irritation.

"If he dares to hurt you again, I will burn his manhood till he becomes potent!" Komui hissed as he walked away, muttering curses under his lips. Lenalee couldn't help but smile and thanked him gratefully for approving her relationship with Lavi, though she hoped that Komui could stop those threats which were terrifying her a little.

"Really, it's indeed a good day today," She murmured, a smile appearing on her face as she stared at the message that Lavi had sent.

_I love you._

* * *

Kanda was sitting outside the cafe, busily completing his assignment that he had to finish by the beginning of January. He was now transferring the sketches he made into his laptop, creating outlines of his next project that he was going to do. The raven-haired man frowned a little as he reviewed his work, his hand taking up the cup of coffee as he sipped it.

_"It's beautiful. Your drawing."_

He stopped typing, his eyes staring at the screen as those words he said rang in his mind. Kanda turned to his sketchbook, recalling back what had happened last night. Though he hated to admit, but he was slightly proud at hearing Allen's compliments on his skills. He had that bubbly feel in his stomach, and at that moment, he almost lost control of himself in an attempt to smile. His heart thumped hardly in response, and he could not explain the exact feeling he had when he saw Allen's smile at that time.

Allen smiled most of the time, but definitely not for him. And that stunned him even more. That beansprout was just sincere in what he said, but for some reason, he couldn't get used to that side of him.

He flipped the pages to the one that he finished yesterday. It was a cloudy night, with the moon partially covered by the dark clouds travelling across the sky. The wind was constantly blowing at one direction, as though it was telling everyone that a storm was coming in that direction.

He knew that Allen was watching him silently at the side, even though he did not make a single sound from his position. It was probably his alertness from the trainings he had as a swordsman when he was still an Exorcist, but this time, he was very aware that Allen was there, and felt slightly conscious at what he was doing when the beansprout was standing beside him. He did say that he was more focusing when he was drawing, but frankly, he wasn't paying full attention at that time. Something else was distracting him...really distracting him...

Why was Allen so interested all of a sudden? He would always talk to him in a hostile way, but the conversation yesterday was totally out of place. It felt so casual and comfortable. There was no stress between the two of them, and somehow, his expressions began to loosen and he wished that they could continue chatting in this way.

Kanda could not comprehend what Allen really was. His mood changed like a wind, and he was somehow swayed by it.

He shook his head, reminding himself that he was in the middle of his work. He resumed in his typing, and after finishing the editing of the graphics, he saved his work and closed the application. He then opened his email, seeing the latest emails in bold that were sent about a few days ago. He saw one that was sent from his superior and opened it.

_Kanda,_

_I'm sorry for disrupting your holidays, but you may need to return to the company early. One of our clients, Fujiwara, wants us to design a bungalow for him, and he insists on you to be the designer for this project even though I explained to him that you are currently away for a holiday until January. He wants you to come out with a sketch of the house and give it to him by February. It seems that you don't have much time left, so you have to come back early. _

Sapphire eyes widened slightly. The client that his superior mentioned in the email was one of their major customers, and it would be a bad choice to ignore his request. Well, his current project was three quarter done, and he could finish the remaining when he returned to Canada. He had to leave around 2 – 3 days after Christmas if he wanted to finish it by the deadline.

But somehow, he was feeling slightly reluctant in leaving. Apart from the peacefulness in the country, there was something else. The beauty of the historical buildings? The snow?

When had he become so attached to this place?

The sunlight was getting slightly warmer. He finished up his coffee and closed his laptop, putting it and his sketch book into his bag before he stood up and left the cafe. Kanda slipped one of his hands into his pocket, observing the neighbourhood and the tranquility of it in the early afternoon. His boots stepped onto the snow as he walked, leaving a trail of white behind him.

He stopped by a traffic light. The wind blew lightly at the side of his face. His hair strands fluttered sideways, covering his vision slightly. Kanda brushed away the strands as he stared forward, seeing a couple standing opposite him.

_I like you! _

Sapphire eyes bore into the couple who stayed close to each other, smiles on their faces meant only for each other to see.

_I like you, Allen!_

The traffic light turned green. The people began to cross the road, and a few seconds later, he and the couple crossed paths. They did not notice him, and he did not see them either. Kanda continued his way forward, until he reached the other end of the road. The traffic light for the pedestrians turned red, and soon after, vehicles began to move on the road once again.

He could feel himself gradually drifted away from his consciousness. Kanda wondered why he was bothered over what she said to Allen last night. His mood plummeted at that moment when he entered the house, seeing the two of them in a very...interesting position with their hands held together. Frankly, he wasn't pleased in seeing her getting so close together with Allen – which he couldn't get it either. From her behaviour – the shy gestures, her embarrassing looks whenever she shot glances at Allen, and the constant deny when it was about Allen – it showed everything. She was so obvious, like an open book. He wasn't stupid enough to realise her feelings towards that beansprout.

So, someone had finally confessed to that idiot? It was better for him that way. He could finally forget what Allen had said that night and the emotions that shook him since Allen stepped into his life once again. He did not need to feel so bothered just by seeing Allen and meddling into his affairs. That beansprout could do whatever he wanted, because it wasn't his business to interfere.

However, that pleasurable feeling he supposed to have wasn't there. It was completely empty, and seeing that moment was making it worse, to the point which he was getting so irritated that it was causing him headaches. And damn, to his horror, he actually ran away before he could hear Allen reply back to her! What the hell! It was his first time running away pathetically like that! As Kanda thought about it, he really wished he could slam himself on the wall and die on the spot.

What was Allen's reply at that time? He wasn't really curious about it. It was that beansprout's own decision whether he wanted to accept her confession, though he wondered whether his confession for him was really true or not. If Allen really accepted her, it would be good. But what would his confession for him at that night really meant?

Kanda shook his head, ridiculous at that thought. What the hell was he actually thinking? He was straying away from the main topic! He was supposed to be _happy _for the change of situation. Those little words of confession did not matter. He did not care in the least.

He was walking along the street, observing the buildings as ideas for the next project began forming in his head. As Kanda walked ahead, the river appeared beside him, its water glistening brightly from the afternoon sunlight. He peered down at the clear water, before he noticed that there was a large parade square just right at the front. A large antique clock was situated at the middle.

Kanda approached the place, noticing that the crowds of people were getting thicker. Everyone was also going to the parade square as well. As he entered, he was slightly awed by the large space he was standing in. Although there were so many people, it didn't seem to be filled up. Little snow were scattered on the pavement, with some of it on the antique clock. It was marvelous.

He did not know where he was, but well, he could check on it later.

The day view was really splendid and beautiful. The sky was clear, the sun shining brightly above. It was simply breath taking. He wanted to take all of this down. Kanda walked a little closer to the antique clock, peering at the time. It was currently four in the afternoon.

Sapphire eyes then widened at seeing the silver-haired teen just standing directly a few metres in front of him. The first thought that went across his mind was "What the hell was he here!". It was purely coincidental, though he wondered whether the coincidences between him and Allen were a little too much. He then noticed that Allen was talking to someone of similar age to him. That beansprout was at all smiles when he was talking to the other party. Somehow, seeing this made him slightly irritated.

_Why am I still here? _He pondered. Recently, he noticed that he had been looking at Allen unconsciously. It was certainly a bad sign – that he was putting down his disapproval towards Allen. And somehow, a warm feeling was invading him and replacing the hatred that he used to have towards Allen.

What was that? He just knew that he had to get away from that warm feeling, before he was trapped by it.

The guy who was probably Allen's friend waved to him as he left. Allen was smiling as he waved back. His eyes widened at the radiant smile that Allen made, similar to the smile last night. Kanda continued to observe him from a distance. His silver hair fluttered lightly in the direction of the breeze, touching his lips lightly.

The raven-haired man slowly took out his sketch book and pencil and flipped to a new blank page. He did not know what exactly he was doing. He couldn't control himself, his body somewhat moving on its own and he began to draw down whatever he was seeing right now. As the wind blew past, a lonesome boy with silver hair stood on the snowy white ground, staring at the sky with an expression filled with mixed emotions. He drew down his facial expressions very clearly with fine details, showing the strong emotion Allen had when he was staring somewhere in the sky.

He stopped drawing, and he totally had no idea why he did that. Kanda stared at the beautiful picture about Allen Walker he had drawn in slight horror, and as he touched it gently, his heart began to clench slightly. His grip gradually loosened and his pencil fell onto the ground. He was so shocked and shaken that his hand started trembling on its own. He shouldn't – mustn't – think about him anymore, but everything was so messed up that he could no longer tell whether he was acting by his own demands or his inner consciousness.

A rush of wind brushed past him. Kanda realised that his pencil was on the floor and knelt down to pick it up. As he stood up and stared at the front, sapphire eyes widened to see Allen turning towards his direction. It was extremely crowded everywhere, but somehow, the distance between him and Allen was completely deserted.

He couldn't breathe, and his heart raced.

What was this?

What was this feeling?

"Allen!"

Kanda turned away. Allen blinked as he turned back to see his friend running back to him. The raven-haired man just stared at the ground, horrified. He swallowed, not comprehending his current situation. He gripped his coat tightly, recalling the words that he said on that particular night, and that tingling yet warm feeling he got when he saw Allen.

_It is because...I love you._

His heart finally skipped a beat, towards the stupid and foolish beansprout.

* * *

After he got his notes from his friend, Allen looked around the parade square, enjoying the evening view and the beautiful scenery that he did not even notice that it was already late evening. The air was turning cold and clouds were gathering at this area. There might be a possibility that it would snow heavily tonight. Allen pulled his coat closer to his body, deciding to go home. He squeezed through crowds of people and tourists, unknowingly touching someone's hand in accident.

"I'm sorry!" He said, but as he turned, he realised that there was so many people that he had no idea whose hand he had touched. He frowned, before he continued on his way. The silver-haired teen managed to escape the horde of people and rushed to the bus stop to catch the bus. He was a few minutes late though, as the bus departed from the bus stop. Allen panted slightly as he reached the bus stop, having to wait for another one.

After a few minutes, the bus stop was filled with people who also wanted to return home. Allen spotted an incoming bus which was arriving at the bus stop. He made sure to stand a little close to the roadside which would give him better access to board the bus. The bus slowed down and stopped, opening its doors for them to board.

Snow began to fall from the sky. Allen peered out of the window as the bus closed the doors and began to move. It would be an hour and a half journey back home. He wished that the snowing wouldn't become heavier on the way.

The silver-haired teen cringed at the little space he had for him to move. He was being literally squashed at a corner of the bus, surrounded by people wearing thick coats and windbreakers. He gasped out, breathing in slight difficulty. Allen felt the window frantically and pulled it open, letting some fresh air come inside. He sniffed in the refreshing scent, feeling much better than before. As the bus moved on the roads, he couldn't help but stretched out his hand as little droplets of snow slowly fell onto his palm and melted into water. As the cool sensation touched his skin, he smiled.

Suddenly, the bus jerked forward. Screams and shouts were heard as everyone grabbed onto something to prevent themselves from falling. Allen almost toppled over as he fell together with the people. Getting hold on the railing, he peered outside to see what was happening.

"I'm sorry passengers, but there are some technical problems in this bus. I request all passengers to alight..."

_What? _Allen frowned in disbelief. This had to happen when the weather was turning bad in the evening. And where the hell was this place? The bus just stopped right in the middle of an expressway! He followed the people down as he stepped out into the open, looking at the surroundings. The snow was falling more heavily, and it was slowly accumulating on the road.

This was bad. If he did not find a way back home quickly, he might be stranded here until the weather improved.

The silver-haired teen walked over to the road sign. If he wasn't wrong, this place was still far away from his home. This area was more of an business district – a place for people to come here and work. There were hardly any shopping malls or homes or hotels around here. His heart dropped to the bottom completely. This was the worst situation ever!

He could see that the people who had boarded the bus earlier on was panicking as well. Some of them flagged down taxis to go home. He would have done that as well, but he rarely took taxi, thus he only brought enough money for public transport. It seems that the nearest train station was at least a few metres away as well.

Allen bit his lip, not knowing what he should do. For now, he just followed the crowd as they was walking over to the buildings just ahead. He shivered slightly as he slipped his freezing hands into his pockets to keep them warm.

The cold wind began to howl loudly at his ears, and the vision began to blur. Allen walked down the white slope covered with snow, arriving at the business district. Most of the places were closed due to Christmas Eve, so in other words, this district was like a deserted area with almost no one around. Allen licked his lips as he searched around the area, wondering where the people were heading to. He bit his lip in an attempt to prevent himself from sneezing but couldn't as he sneezed.

_Oh, so there is a hotel here... _He saw the hotel right at the corner of the street. It seems that everyone had the same thought in their heads. They intended to stay here for the night. Great, he might find a place to stay, but he didn't think that he had enough money for even one night. The prices for lodging would surely raise during festive seasons. Allen stood at the front of the entrance, staring at the people in slight envy as they began asking the receptionist for rooms.

"Moyashi?" Silver eyes widened at that familiar voice. He slowly turned around, seeing Kanda standing behind.

"K-Kanda?" He did not expect to meet Kanda here! How unlucky, letting this person see his pathetic state!

"Are you..stranded here as well?" Allen asked and smiled, trying to act normal despite the coldness attacking his stiff body. Kanda raised his eyebrow, not very sure what he was talking about.

"Stranded?" He said, walking into the lobby. Allen just stared. Kanda was an international designer, thus he surely had the money to pay the room for a night. He had the urge to ask him whether he could pay his portion as well, but his pride got in the way and he decided not to bring out such a favor.

"Why are you still outside?" Kanda asked.

"Aah, I was...I was..." Allen stammered out, processing reasons in his mind. He couldn't tell him that he was stranded here due to the bad weather and, due to the lack of cash, had to stay out in the cold for the whole night. He rubbed his arms, trying to fight off the intense cold which was numbing his senses. He was probably going to freeze to death first before he could even spend the night outside.

"Che."

Silver eyes widened slightly as he felt something warm grabbing his arm. Before he knew it, he felt himself being pulled into the lobby. Allen gasped and sputtered as Kanda pulled him inside the building. The raven-haired man literally shove him into the lift.

"Wh-What...What are you doing!" Allen exclaimed in coughs and gasps.

"Getting you a place to live for the night. Aren't you stranded here?" Kanda asked. Silver eyes widened again.

"H-How do you know that?" Allen asked back, unable to hide his astonishment at how Kanda hit the nail. Kanda just stared at him silently for a moment, before a smirk appeared on his face.

"Didn't you tell me that earlier?"

Allen blushed in embarrassment, wishing that there was a hole for him to dive into. He turned to face the front, trying his best to ignore Kanda's presence while recovering from the shock and embarrassment.

"W-Where are we going?" Damn, why was he stuttering! Allen shut his eyes and shifted uncomfortably.

To his relief, the lift stopped at the same time and opened the doors, showing a dimmed corridor ahead.

"My room," Kanda replied as he stepped out of the lift. Allen followed suit, registering his words in his head for a moment, before silver eyes widened and gasped in shock.

"Whattttt!"

"Shh! Keep your voice down! This is a hotel!" Kanda turned to him and hissed. Allen covered his mouth and nodded his head vigorously. He observed the place. It looked plain but extremely classy, and there was a light refreshing scent reminding him that he was at a place called home. In addition, this hotel was located in the business district. It must be really expensive to live here.

"We are here." Allen stopped as Kanda took out a card and inserted it. The door beeped once and was unlocked. The raven-haired man opened it and went inside. Allen peered inside, his silver eyes widened in slight absurd at what he was exactly seeing.

"Oi, are you coming in or not?" Kanda snapped impatiently. Allen hurried in and closed the door behind him. While the raven-haired man disappeared inside, Allen looked around the whole place, staring at the beautiful displays and galore and the structure of the room with wide eyes. He stared at the empty wine cups placed on the coffee table, before he went over to the white translucent curtains and pulled it, admiring the white view from here. It might be because he had never entered a hotel in London before, but everything looked just so perfect here.

"I didn't know that you live in such a beautiful room, Kanda!" Allen exclaimed in excitement as he explored further. Kanda entered the living room and took out a bottle of distilled water from the small fridge to drink.

"My company reimburses all my expenses here," He replied, peering at Allen who sat on the couch and grinned happily.

"Hmm, that's good, but wouldn't it be better if you live with Marie and Froi-san instead? At least there was someone to accompany you," Allen questioned him. Kanda placed the water bottle on the table and went to take his belongings from his bag.

"I'm not here for a holiday, beansprout. I'm here for business."

"It's Allen, not beansprout," Allen corrected him and sighed in defeat. He then remembered that the main reason he was here was because of the bad weather and the bus broke down at the wrong timing. The silver-haired teen looked down, feeling heat rising up his cheeks as he felt the reality sinking in. He was now alone, together with Kanda. There were no one else, only him and Kanda.

"Here. Take this." Allen looked up and gasped slightly at the pile of clothes that were thrown to him. He took the pile with his hands and stared at Kanda with a questioning gaze.

"Since you are staying here for a night, I supposed you need to take a bath for the day?" He asked. Allen blinked, feeling slightly surprised. This guy was treating him...nicer than usual. It somehow did not feel right.

"Y-Yes. Thanks..." Allen muttered as he stood up and proceeded to the bathroom located at the back of the room. He placed the clean clothes at the rack and entered the bathtub, turning on the tap to fill it up with warm water. The silver-haired teen then took off his wet clothes and entered the lukewarm water in the bathtub. He let out a content sigh as he closed his eyes. The coldness was replaced by the warmth of the water as it invaded his body.

"Don't drown inside, Moyashi. I don't want to find a corpse in my room." Kanda spoke from outside. Silver eyes snapped open at the remark and he frowned.

"Who the hell would drown in a bathtub!" He retorted in annoyance. That BaKanda always had something to piss him off. Allen peered at the different bottles of washing lotions placed at the side, and after pondering for a while, he took the mint-scented hair lotion and uncapped it, squeezing out a little of its essence on his hand before applying on his hair. The white foam puffed up between his fingers, trailing down his arms and into the water. He then leaned back and moved slightly in the water, feeling blissful. Maybe he should be glad that the bus broke down such that he could have a chance to come to such a luxurious room to stay for a night?

But it was Kanda's room he was currently staying. Though he was thankful for the raven-haired man to allow him to stay here for a night, he was still not ready to let go of the feelings for Kanda yet. Spending more time with him might waver his painful decision made last night. He let out a sigh, putting his hand at his forehead as he stared at the ceiling.

After a few minutes of washing up, Allen was dressed in fresh clothes as he got out of the bathroom. The long-sleeved shirt and pants were a little big and long for him. He wasn't that surprised, since the clothes belonged to someone tall-built like Kanda. As the silver-haired teen walked into the living room, he saw Kanda sitting at the couch, his arm placed at the edge of the furniture as he was watching the television programme. Few of his raven hair strands were covering part of his face, making him look rather cool and...beautiful?

Allen shook his head, wondering what dirty thoughts he had in his mind.

"You can use the bathroom, Kanda." Allen sat down on the couch and used the towel to dry his hair. Kanda stared at him, before he stood up and walked into the bedroom. Allen sighed again as he stared at the news from the television blankly. He peered at the windows filled with snow, hearing the howls of the wind from outside. Was it the right decision to come here? He promised himself to forget Kanda, but was it even possible?

"I feel...sleepy..." Allen murmured softly, his heavy eyelids closing as he gradually fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

When he came out of the bathroom with a towel hanging loosely on his head and entered the living room, he saw Allen lying on the couch, his eyes closed. His head was drooping as the silver-haired teen was sleeping soundly. Kanda approached him quietly, staring at the peaceful face he made when he was sleeping.

He put the towel at the side of the couch, supporting Allen's head before it drooped downwards. Allen let out a low grown at the soft touch of his hand. Kanda just stared intently, before his hand moved a little downwards, holding his chin in place. He brushed away the silver strands from his face carefully, peering at the long eyelashes from his eyes and the red slash of his left eye from the curse.

Somehow, his looks were enticing. That beansprout also had a strong alluring scent which he could not ignore. His fingers brushed across his skin gently, and Kanda found himself leaning closer to the silver-haired teen, slightly intoxicated by the sweet scent. His hand ruffled up his hair, bringing his face closer to his. Closer, to that pouted red lips...

Sapphire eyes widened. What was he going to do?

Allen moaned as he moved slightly, his eyes slowly opening. His eyes squinted at the glaring room lights and the first thing he saw. He slowly blinked for a moment, seeing blurred images in his vision. Several minutes later, silver eyes slowly widened as large as saucers at seeing Kanda so close to him. Allen couldn't help but scream in fright as his hands stretched out and pushed the raven-haired man away hardly, causing Kanda to pull back in slight astonishment as he stumbled backwards, almost tripping over the coffee table behind him.

"Wh-what...what are you doing?" Allen stammered, his face turning so white and pale. Kanda just stared at his dumbfounded expression and suddenly, he felt amused by what he was seeing. Allen noticed his slightly curved lips which was about to smirk and frowned.

"What's so funny?" Allen demanded.

"Why are you making such a big fuss over it? I just found you asleep here and come to check on you. What exactly are you thinking?" Kanda questioned back in return, raising an eyebrow.

"B-Because...you are too close!" The silver-haired teen sputtered in embarrassment and turned away, his hand covering his flushed face. Sapphire eyes twinkled playfully as he slowly approached the silver-haired teen and leaned downwards, his hands slamming down at both sides of the couch such that Allen had nowhere to run.

"What _exactly _do you think I would do to you, Moyashi?" He asked with a soft purr, a light smirk at his lips as his intense gaze bore into his, his finger trailing the side of his face lightly. He could feel the shivers from Allen as bright red hues appeared on his face. The silver-haired teen was trying his best to fight back the fierce blush appearing on his face.

Somehow, he looked...cute.

Kanda stared at the comical face Allen was making and turned away, his hand on his mouth to control himself from laughing. It was just so fun teasing that midget. He pulled back, seeing Allen's bewildered look at what he was really doing. The raven-haired man cleared his throat and just chuckled as he walked to the dining table, opening his laptop and switched it on.

"What exactly are you doing, Kanda?" Allen shouted across the room in displeasure as he stomped up to him and glared fiercely at him.

"Nothing. You think too much, beansprout," Kanda said as he opened the application, intending to resume in his project.

"You think it's funny playing with me like that? Do you?" Allen hissed angrily.

"Yeah, I think it's funny," Kanda answered. Silver eyes widened slightly in surprise and in slight anger.

"I see. You think this is funny, but I think it is extremely not funny...are you joking around with me? Are you...that oblivious?" A grim expression was formed on the silver-haired teen's face.

Sapphire eyes widened slightly in astonishment as he stared at Allen who was looking down on the ground. The silver-haired teen turned around and walked towards the door. Kanda frowned and stood up, running to him and grabbing his arm to stop him.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Then let me ask you, what are you doing?" Allen snapped back in a cold tone as he shot him a glare. "Are you that oblivious when I...!"

His eyes widened in astonishment. Allen turned away quickly, realising that he almost said everything out. The room was silent for a moment, the two of them not saying anything.

Kanda released his hand and let out a sigh, walking towards the windows. Allen blinked in slight bewilderment, wondering why he did not say anything.

"If you want to leave now, you may leave. I won't stop you. But the weather now is rather bad. Furthermore, your clothes aren't dry yet. Are you sure you still want to go out?" Kanda asked. Allen stepped up to the windows and pulled the curtains, seeing only a blurry white. He could hear the loud cries of the wind even though the windows were shut tightly.

Allen cursed softly under his breath. Kanda returned back to his seat and resumed in his work. The silver-haired teen sighed as he sank onto the couch, wondering what he should do. The night felt terribly long, probably because of what had happened between the both of them just now. He was so pissed and so embarrassed at the same time. Kanda did that out of his pure interest, and he just took his idea for a different reason! It was beyond mortifying.

Interesting? Funny? That bastard was doing it on purpose. Allen glared at the raven-haired man who was too busy in his project that he did not notice his fury beam shooting in his direction in an attempt to burn him into ashes. But why was Kanda doing this? That guy rejected his entire existence, and he said nothing upon his confession. He treated it as nothing. Yet today, he did the exact opposite. The silver-haired teen cursed silently to himself, his hands slowly clenching hard.

Meanwhile, Kanda glanced at the silver-haired teen who was facing the door, staring into space. He then turned back to stare at his screen, peering down at the keypad. What made him do that to Allen just now? He was sure that it wasn't just done out of a whim. His sweet scent emitted from his body was so overwhelming that he almost lost control and kissed him. When he saw his embarrassing look on his face, his tolerance somehow snapped and he just did that to him. And now, he was feeling a little guilty for what he did. The raven-haired man ran his hand through his hair, sighing to himself.

His cursed eye twitched slightly, and Allen began to regret slightly for accepting that raven-haired man's offer to stay here for a night. He scolded inwardly to himself and his big mouth which almost blurted out his feelings right in front of him. He did not know how he should face him. He thought of blotting out of here, but the weather was not improving at all. Furthermore, the road would be covered by snow and there was no way he could go back.

"Stupid weather..." He muttered.

"Go to the bedroom if you want to sleep." Allen looked up at Kanda who suddenly said something.

"No, I can sleep here. Ooh, so comfortable..." He answered stubbornly, lying down on the small couch with his legs dangling at the edge. Frankly, it was extremely uncomfortable. The cushion was hard and there was a weird stench from it. There was hardly space for him to turn his body as well. Allen groaned slightly and closed his eyes. Well, it was just for one night, so he had no choice but to bear with it. Only for tonight...

The clock ticked softly in the silence. Soft taps from the keyboard could be heard. The wind shrieked through the night, ramming against the window panes. And from that silence, he could feel the existence of Kanda – his soft breathings, his hands which were typing on the keyboard, and the familiar jasmine scent which never failed to bring him a soothing feeling...

Silver eyes snapped open. There was no way he could sleep when Kanda was around!

Allen sighed, staring at the blank ceiling above. His gaze slowly softened. He recalled that embarrassing moment when Kanda leaned towards him. The silver-haired teen covered his flushing face, remembering his alluring face, that husky voice whispering softly at his ears and that pair of beautiful and attractive sapphire eyes which never failed to steal his breath away. But why did he do that? Was it just meant to tease him?

The clock ticked softly in the room. He wasn't sure how long time had passed ever since he was staring at the ceiling in blankness. He couldn't tell whether the storm was still raging out there, and whether Kanda was still doing his work on his laptop. His eyelids were heavy, yet he couldn't sleep. He couldn't sleep with the presence of the raven-haired man around. His vision blurred, and he kept questioning himself why he was still accepting those feelings, yet no answer came to him. He finally decided to move on, yet that unnecessary action Kanda made wavered his emotions instantly. His heart still yearned for him. Was there any other way to get out of this?

Allen groaned and shifted his body around, only to tumble onto the floor due to the limited space. As he tried standing up, something warm was wrapped around his waist, helping him up. His hands gripped onto something which felt like a sweater as he stood up to his feet. Silver eyes widened at seeing Kanda standing in front of him.

"Go to bed, Moyashi."

"What...What do you think you are doing?" Allen hissed as he pushed him away, only to be grabbed by his hand from the raven-haired man. He turned and glared at Kanda in disdain.

"Are you playing with me now?" He asked coldly.

"What is wrong with you?" Kanda hissed in slight anger, not understanding why his attitude suddenly changed in an instant.

"I am perfectly fine! I am so alright!" The silver-haired teen snapped, slapping his hand away. He knew that Kanda just wanted to help him over to the bed to sleep better. He knew that he shouldn't be so selfish and flared his temper at him, but...he just couldn't stop himself. This guy just crushed his only hope completely with actions that were only meant to spike him. He could not stand it.

"No you are not! What is it? What is wrong with you, beansprout?" Kanda demanded as he gripped his shoulders and turned him around forcefully. Allen stared at the words imprinted on his sweater instead, silver eyes softened in fatigue.

"Haven't you had enough?" He muttered softly.

"What?"

"Is it really that amusing to see me in this state? I'm already beyond pathetic right now, so stop humiliating me and let me go, Kanda!" Allen yelled in frustration. He bit his lips, refusing to let the tears welling at his eyes to fall. There was no way he was going to cry in front of this person, but the bitterness in his heart was so overwhelming that he could not control himself anymore.

"I got it. If you intended on making me feel humiliated, playing around my feelings for you, you have succeeded," The silver-haired teen answered without emotions, before he turned and started to leave. As he reached the door and was about to open it, a hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. Before he knew it, he was slammed onto the door.

And Kanda stepped forward and claimed his lips.

* * *

Hello! Really sorry for the extremely late update! I had been busy for the last three months and now, my school semesters are finally over. To make up for this late update, two combined chapters will be posted today :D I would probably be updating my KHR story 'Fated to Be', and 'Rewind' tomorrow as well. Woah, major updates -.-

Secondly, I would be officially rewriting 'The Black Assassin' with more exciting and intensifying scenes! This story will be semi-AU (with some spoilers from the current manga chapters), and the first chapter would most likely be released around May and June, after completing this story. Please look forward to it :)

And sorry for my grammatical and spelling errors if spotted! Don't worry folks, there will be LaviLenalee fluff in the next chapter, and Yullen is definitely COMING! :DDD

I mean it. So...

Please review!


	12. 25th December

**Chapter 12: 25th December  
**

_In matters of the heart, nothing is true except the improbable. - Madame de Stael _

Silver eyes widened as large as saucers at this direct and bold action. He could felt Kanda's tongue wetting his lips and nudging it lightly, seeking for entry. The silver-haired teen struggled and thrashed against his chest, wanting to get free, but Kanda gripped both of his hands roughly and rammed them against the door. Allen gasped loudly in pain, and Kanda made use of this to slip his tongue into his mouth.

He could feel something extremely warm inside his mouth. His hands clenched into fists as Allen continued to struggle in an attempt to break off from his grasp, but Kanda did not give way as he moved in between his legs, trapping him in that current position. He pressed his lips hardly onto his, deepening the kiss forcefully. Their tongues entwined and moved together, fighting fiercely for dominance. He lost eventually, and Kanda slithered his tongue deeper into his warm cavern, tasting every bit of it.

He could feel the burning heat radiating from their two bodies leaning closely together, and it was slowly numbing his senses, one by one. A soft moan escaped out of his lips as Allen closed his eyes, feeling himself sinking further into darkness. He took a deep breath, and the rich scent of jasmine from the other only caused his inner desire to surface. His hands slowly stopped struggling, and as Kanda loosened his hold, they reached out and wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him even closer so that he could taste more of him and take in more of his intoxicating scent which was driving him completely insane.

It burnt, so much that it scorched his skin, and engulfed his entire soul into flames.

And that was when they realised their mistakes. Kanda broke away from the kiss, horrified at what he had done. Allen stared at him, clearly seeing the shock, guilt and remorse reflected in his eyes. They held onto each other tightly, but as he slowly felt his hands leaving his, he knew that all of these were nothing but a dream. Silver eyes stared painfully at the raven-haired man as he redrew his hands and murmured something which shocked him.

"Sorry."

His eyes widened. Kanda turned and left without a word. Allen just stood there, not knowing what to do. He gazed at the ceiling with blank eyes, his cold body slowly slumped down onto the ground. As the storm continued to rage through the painful night, Allen hugged his knees together, biting his lips to control himself from trembling in coldness, but he could no longer differentiate whether it was because of the weather, or the warmth that came and went away quickly.

* * *

"Allen did not return last night?" Lavi exclaimed. Lenalee nodded her head in solemn, stirring her drink with the straw as she pondered in anxiety. Ever since Allen stepped out in the morning, she did not receive any calls or messages from him for the whole day. Plus, the news on the sudden snow storm worried her as the silver-haired teen might be stranded outside and did not have a way to come back home.

"He did not call back, Lavi! Was he stranded outside?" Lenalee asked with a frown. Lavi clasped her hand and gave it a comfortable squeeze to calm her down.

"Don't worry. Allen will be alright," He said. She also hoped that Allen was really alright. He was probably staying over at his friend's house right now. The olive-haired girl frowned as she stared at the screen of her phone. Worrying like this wasn't going to change anything. She had to believe that the silver-haired teen was fine somewhere.

"Let's go! We have a lot of things to do!" She said, standing up to face Lavi. It was officially Christmas day today and they had to make the last preparations before the guests arrived. She took up her handbag and was about to leave her seat when she felt a hand clasping over hers. Lenalee stopped as she stared at her hand, before looking at Lavi in slight astonishment.

"Lavi..."

The redhead said nothing and just smiled at her, slowly leading her out of the cafe. She followed behind, feeling slightly embarrassed and happy at his sweet actions. Lenalee walked a little faster to his side, and as they walked together under the sunlight, she couldn't describe how pleasant it felt. Even though today's outing was meant to buy stuffs for the Christmas party, it somehow felt like a real date with Lavi.

They walked around the shopping malls, entered the market located deep inside the districts and tried the food at road stalls as they walked past. When they were tired, they would take a rest on the bench, admiring the peaceful scenery and chatting between themselves. Lavi would tell her many jokes, which she would respond with fits of giggles.

"Oh, wait a moment," Lavi said as he stood up and walked away. Lenalee just peered at the redhead in puzzlement, wondering what he was going to do. She then saw him stopping by a roadstall selling cotton candy, and she remembered how much she loved that sweet and soft candy which would instantly melt inside her mouth, but how did Lavi know that she loved to eat this kind of sweet?

Lavi went back with one strawberry-flavored cotton candy in his hand. Lenalee smiled as she tore one small piece and popped it into her mouth. Violet eyes slowly closed as she savoured the creamy feeling when the candy melted inside. It just tasted so heavenly good.

"Is it good?" He asked. She nodded her head. Lavi intended to give her all of it, but she insisted that they should share the candy.

"Well, let's eat together, shall we? I eat the right side, and you eat the left. But we have to eat from the stick," He said with a mischieveous wink. Lenalee knew he was playing around, but she agreed to it and they began to eat. Her lips tore off the puffy candy lightly as she slowly chewed on it. As they ate, the candy slowly got smaller, and she could somehow feel the warm breath of the other across her. Deep shades of pink appeared on her cheeks, and before she could pull away, she felt something warm and soft on her lips.

Violet eyes widened, seeing the pair of emerald eyes staring back at her.

Lenalee pulled back immediately in shock. She turned away, feeling different gazes onto her. She then remembered that they were in public and some of them would have seen it clearly. As thoughts processed in her mind, her flush on her face turned three shades darker.

"Lenalee."

She turned, and was met with a soft peck on her lips. Lavi pulled back and gave a small lick at his lips.

"Sweet," He whispered with a smirk. Lenalee blushed again, her hands now covering her face which was burning red with embarrassment.

"Lavi!"

The redhead chuckled. He then turned to her and reached out to her hands, pulling them down from her face. Lenalee was making a pout in slight displeasure, so cute that he could not resist stealing another kiss from her lips, but knowing that she was too embarrassed, he decided to let it go and held her hand, standing up.

"Let's go. We need to finish buying the things by afternoon. It looks like we have to hurry now."

Lenalee stared at him and nodded her head with a smile. The couple then continued on their journey around the neighbourhood, their hands clasping together.

* * *

Allen grimaced at the glaring sunlight shining in his direction, his eyes slowly opening to adjust to the sudden brightness in the late morning. The silver-haired teen blinked as he stared at the ceiling of the room he was in, wondering where he currently was. As he moved his legs beneath the warm blanket covering his body, he realised that he was sleeping on a bed that was too wide and too spacious and too comfortable from his own bed. He then looked around, spotting some furniture and a laptop which was on a small table in front of him...

Wait.

He sat up instantly, his eyes went wide as his thoughts went to a complete dead end. Just how did he end up sleeping on the master bed of the hotel room? He did remember that he was staying in Kanda's room for a night because of the storm. He was sure that he was sleeping on the couch instead of the bed. It was small and hard and narrow to sleep on, and the presence of Kanda made it even harder for him to sleep. After that, for some reasons, they started to quarrel. He wanted to leave, but he didn't because...

Bright red hues appeared on his face as his body went completely rigid in mortification.

The memory of him and Kanda kissing last night crashed in his head. The silver-haired teen wanted to faint instantly. Just how did _THAT _happen in the first place? He was certain that he wasn't drunk, and he was extremely alert around Kanda in case something weird happened, and it _DID happen_! His hands ran through his messed hair in frustration. Just what had happened after the kiss? He was sitting at the door in a daze, and he just dozed off just like that? And how did he end up _here _anyway!

Allen sat there, contemplating for a few minutes. In the end, he decided not to give himself more frustrations and stop pondering about it. He pulled the covers aside and got out of the bed, walking over to the couch at the living room to get his phone in his bag. He had forgotten to contact Lenalee that he was staying outside due to the bad weather and she must be extremely worried about him.

Allen took the phone from his bag and was about to dial when something caught his eye. He turned, seeing a sketch book placed beside the laptop. He raised his eyebrow in slight curiosity as he went over to the table and took a good look at it. The silver-haired teen slowly flipped open the large pages, his eyes widening at the sketched pictures he was seeing. The sketches that he did were far more complicated than the drawing he did during the Christmas Eve night. The papers were rough and slightly torn, and the drawings were done over and over again, showing the hard work that the raven-haired man had put in through the years.

As he continued to flip, he stopped at a particular drawing which was different from the rest. Allen peered closely at the soft black pencil lines sketching out the background - the large parade square, the clock tower at the far right corner, people around the area, and the young boy which seems to be the main character of the whole picture.

Somehow, this picture seems so familiar to him, as though he was there himself...

Silver eyes widened. Allen frowned as he took up the sketch book, staring at the picture more closely. He was there yesterday afternoon, meeting his college friend to get back his notes! He was standing at the parade square where the clock tower could be seen from that spot. His grip on the sketch book tightened as he noticed the light scar drawn at his left eye. He slowly put down the book, not believing what he was seeing.

This person in the picture was him.

Kanda was drawing him.

Allen blinked, not understanding what was going on. Kanda was at where he was, but why did he draw a picture of him? He peered back at the drawing, his hand reached down and felt the pencil lines lightly. His lips formed a thin line. The sketches that Kanda drew was beautiful as always, but this one was far beyond beautiful. He could feel the overwhelming emotions from this drawing which was starting to sway his own feelings.

Allen took a deep breath as he closed the sketch book. He went to get his bag and his coat, before he opened the door and walked out, closing it behind him. The silver-haired teen walked to the lobby and pressed the down button. As he waited for the lift to come, he wondered where Kanda might be.

A sound was heard, before the lift doors opened. Allen stepped in and pressed the close button. As the lift slowly descended, he turned, looking out at the neighbourhood which was decorated in complete white thanks to the heavy snow storm. He leaned against the solid glass, letting out a soft sigh. Staring at the phone screen, he was about to make a call to Lenalee when a partial memory of Kanda stopping him by the door and kissed him flashed across his mind. Silver eyes widened as his fingers jerked slightly, stopping by the keypad.

He then wondered what exactly he was doing.

The lift doors opened. Allen walked out to the main hall, seeing many people at the counter. They were probably the same people who were stranded yesterday, and were now on their way back to their homes to celebrate Christmas. But after Christmas, what would happen from then onwards? Everyone had to go back to where they belonged, and that included him and Kanda. He had to continue his studies, and Kanda would eventually return to Canada. After all, he just came here for business.

As much as he wanted to give up his feelings, part of him still wanted to keep it, and the desire to hold onto his feelings only became stronger when he saw that drawing. Kanda might, even if it was only an extremely small percentage, have slight feelings for him, but he did not know, and he wasn't sure whether he _wanted _to know.

Allen slowly stopped in his footsteps, watching the people immersing into the conversations among themselves with smiles on their faces. Soon, they split into two groups - one of them staying behind, while the other group decided to leave first. They said their goodbyes with reluctance, before they parted ways. It won't be as hard if they were going to meet again, but would there be any chance he could meet Kanda again?

Allen stepped outside, gazing at the clear white sky. He then walked to the nearest bus stop to take a bus back home.

* * *

Kanda was sitting at the cafe in the main lobby, staring at the cappuccino that he bought, but instead of enjoying his favourite coffee which he usually would do, he wasn't in the mood to do so. He did not sleep well last night either, and he knew very well the main reason behind all these frustrations. Sapphire eyes glanced at the English paper that was left untouched for the last forty-five minutes, before he stared at the light brown beverage in a slight daze.

He thought that his slight attraction - or should he say, curiosity - towards the beansprout was only something which he caught up for a moment, but no matter how much he wanted to deny or ignore, he knew it wasn't like that. After the sudden confession for him, he knew that everything had completely changed since then. Before he could realise it himself, he took a glimpse into Allen's new life, and had witnessed every bit of his change. And for once, he wanted to understand what Allen Walker really was. Not as an Exorcist who was cursed, not as a Noah who was detested between two sides, but as Allen Walker himself.

And when he said those hurtful words to him, he was infuriated. It wasn't because of what he said. It was because he was affected by the pained emotions that Allen showed to him, which he shouldn't be. He began to feel for the silver-haired teen, and that was why he was so angry that he slammed him against the door to stop him from leaving. Not knowing how to express his current feelings, he just let his body respond on its own.

But he never expected himself to kiss Allen directly on his lips.

His mind turned completely blank. He knew he could no longer turn back the moment they kissed. He began to kiss Allen deeply and passionately, wanting more of his taste, wanting more of his warmth which completely ignited a flame within his heated body, wanted more of...him. And when he almost went out of control, something jolted him awake, and when he realised what he had done, it was all too late. Allen was staring at him with a confused look, and he sank deeper into his mixed emotions and denial.

He did not know what to do. All he could think of at that moment was one word.

_"Sorry."_

Kanda left the table and walked to the life lobby. He took the lift up, and as he opened the door of his room, there was already no one around. The raven-haired man threw the keys on the table as he peered inside the bedroom, seeing no one but white sheets on the bed. He leaned against the wall, wondering what he was hoping for. Allen wouldn't be here when he returned.

He walked over to the table, flipping open his sketch book to the very page which was the drawing of the silver-haired teen. That memory was still etched deeply in his mind. It was probably at that time that he realised that he had slight feelings for Allen.

Kanda closed the book and walked over to the window, looking at the sky. His long hair strands fluttered slightly to the soft breeze, brushing across his face. As he saw little flakes of the remaining snow falling down, he stretched out his hand, watching it as the snow landed on his palm and slowly melted into water.

Would they meet again after Christmas?

He took out his phone and dialed a number, putting at his ear to listen. After several beeps, the line was connected. Kanda was silent for a few seconds, before he finally spoke.

"I want to book a flight back to Canada on the 28th of December."

* * *

"Merry Christmas!" Lavi and Timothy shouted at the door, frightening Miranda a little as she entered the apartment. As Lenalee chided them slightly not to scare off their guests, the two men just grinned evilly between themselves, having other thoughts in mind. Rou Fa and Fou were in the kitchen, helping Lenalee out with the Christmas dinner. Tiedoll was chatting with Komui, Krory, Reever, Bak and Wong were watching television shows together, while Marie and Chouji were playing a game of chess.

"Do you think Kanda would come tonight?" Timothy asked as he put the Christmas cone hat on his head properly.

"Of course Yuu will come! He never breaks promises!" Lavi said, grinning from ear to ear. "Hey Tim, let's think of something to scare Yuu off later when he comes?"

Timothy gave a hesitant look and backed away, wondering whether it was even possible to scare the raven-haired man. He would be frightened of the darkened expression he would have on his face first when they tried to scare him later. Except for Allen, Lavi and Lenalee, no one had ever dared to challenge themselves to do something which Kanda totally hated. He remembered a time when a Finder said something bad behind his back and was caught red-handed by Kanda on the spot. Something happened and it was rumoured that the Finder stayed in the infirmary for three whole weeks.

"Uh...can we...don't do that?"

"Don't do what? Oh, you want to back away from this challenge is it, Timothy? Once you agreed to do this with me, we have to do it till the end!" Lavi peered closely at him and asked with a stern expression.

"But that is because you said we are welcoming them, so I agreed! Frightening them is fun, but it will be disastrous if we do that to Kanda!" Timothy answered with a frown. He was not going to risk his own life to do something that was simply impossible to accomplish.

"Don't worry, I'm with you, so nothing will go wrong! In addition, don't you want to have the best and memorable Christmas with everyone this year? In order to make this Christmas a special one, some changes will have to be made. I will ask Allen to take down the comical expression Yuu is making," Lavi explained, snickering to himself at the brilliant idea that he thought of.

"What! Do you know that you are wishing for your own death, Lavi?" Timothy exclaimed, shocked at hearing what he was saying. Before the redhead could reply, the doorbell rang, telling them that the next guest had arrived. Lavi signalled Timothy to stand closer to him, before he turned around, seeing Allen walking down the stairs with a camera in his hands. The silver-haired teen noticed his gaze and nodded his head, getting ready to do something which he would only do once in his lifetime. Everyone gradually quietened down, all eyes set on the door.

"Okay, let's do it." Lavi opened the door. At seeing the shadow stepping inside, both of them jumped out and shouted a loud 'Merry Christmas!', but it turned out to be previous General Sonako who was just slightly stunned, but Allen just took down the picture nonetheless. As the photo slowly came out of the Polaroid camera, he took it out and stared at the black space where the photo will appear later. Meanwhile, Timothy just heaved a sigh of relief and apologised to the ex-general for their actions.

"The dinner is almost ready! Is everyone here?" Lenalee asked, coming out with a large plate of roasted turkey in her hands.

"Yuu isn't here yet! Geez, why is he so late?" Lavi whined softly as he stared outside the window. The sky was slowly darkening in the late evening, and street lights flickered, shining faintly on the streets. Allen peered at the door, recalling Lavi's words. He wondered whether it was because of what happened between them last night. His hand tugged his sweater in slight nervousness, his heart gradually beating faster at recalling that particular moment when they kissed.

The doorbell rang again. Allen stiffened, having a slight hunch on who he was.

"Merry Christmas!" Lavi and Timothy shouted at Kanda who was standing at the doorstep, staring at them with an expressionless face. The two teenagers blinked and glanced at each other, wondering whether they should just pretend that nothing had happened or run for their lives. Allen just stood there, his role to take pictures of the guests coming in forgotten. He looked up, and their gazes met each other.

That night when they kissed and the regret reflected in his sapphire eyes flashed in his head momentarily. Allen turned away and walked upstairs. He entered his room and placed the Polaroid camera on his desk, telling himself that what had happened between them was all but a mistake. The silver-haired teen forced out a smile to comfort himself, before he turned and walked out of the room. He walked down the stairs, seeing that the girls were almost ready with the dinner. Kanda was sitting at a corner, reading a book in his hand.

"Guys, time to eat dinner!" Lenalee shouted. Everyone cheered as they stood up and walked over to the dining table. It was a magnificent spread of food, although it wasn't as much as what Jerry prepared in the headquarters, but it was more than enough. Everyone got to their seats they wanted, and when Allen reached the table, he realised that there were only two available seats next to each other.

"Come and take a seat, Allen! Yuu, come here and sit quickly!" Lavi shouted at the raven-haired man who took his own time to come over. He glanced at Kanda who stared back at him. Allen looked away and sat down beside Lavi, while Kanda went and sat beside him.

"Let's tuck in!"

It was a hearty Christmas meal tonight. There wasn't much of a food fight unlike what they usually did in the Black Order. Lenalee had warned them with a rather fierce expression that they had to clean up themselves if they wanted to do that, and from her character, she really marked her words. Everyone was chatting happily among themselves, mostly reminiscing about their past in the Black Order.

"I remember that Allen always lost his way in the Black Order! I can still imagine the frustrated look written all over his face when he tried to find his way back to his room!" Lavi laughed as he took a slice of ham and put it onto his plate. Allen shot a glare at him.

"The Order was just too big and I cannot remember most of the places I went," The silver-haired teen rebuked. His sense of direction had improved a little when he moved out of the Order. Furthermore, the headquarters was so big that he was sure there were still some places he had never been there before. And it wasn't as bad as what Lavi said. He was still able to find his room by himself.

"Is it? But the funniest thing was, Krory-kins had mistaken wasabi as green tea paste and tasted it. God, he is literally blowing fire out of his lips!" Lavi exclaimed in laughter, his arm wrapping around his hurting stomach. He managed to control himself, but seeing Krory's face and imagining that particular scene made the redhead roar out in laughter again.

"Oh I remember that! He can only calm down when Jerry gave him around...twelve glasses of cold water?" Chouji said, pondering. Krory blushed in embarrassment. After that incident, he swore that he wasn't going to touch pastes that were green in colour.

"I think it is only fair to say something relating to Lavi..." Allen's words trailed off as he smirked darkly in triumph. The redhead stopped laughing instantly and paled at seeing the silver-haired teen's sadistic expression, having a slight bad feeling about this. Everyone glanced at one another in slight anxiousness, wondering what was going to happen.

"There is a dark secret about Lavi, and no one knows except me. Want to know...more about it?" Allen leaned a little closer to the table, whispering in a soft but slight eerie tone. Kanda raised his eyebrow in slight curiosity.

"What is it?"

"Tell us!"

"Hurry up, Allen! Stop keeping up with the suspense!"

Allen smiled, his eyelids narrowing halfway as he spoke,"Lavi has a...thing for older women."

Krory choked in his soup, Chouji dropped the serving spoon he was holding, and Lenalee stared at the redhead with wide eyes. Lavi was laughing nervously, staring at his plate of food to distract himself from their uncomfortable gazes. He could hear Allen sniggering with glee, and the former bookman junior could not stand it anymore and stood up.

"What is wrong...with liking older women!" He shouted.

Everyone just stared at him in silence. Then they continued eating and serving food to one another as though nothing had happened. Lavi glared hardly at Allen who was smirking in victory at getting back at him. The silver-haired teen was about to get another serving of soup when two hands touched the tilt of the silver spoon. He blinked as he turned to stare at Kanda who had the same intention. His face heated up slightly as he slowly redrew his hand, continuing to eat his plate of food.

After dinner, the group decided to play games that they usually played when they were still in the Black Order. The Christmas lights shimmered brightly as they gathered around the coffee table, playing games ranging from Monopoly, UNO to poker. Speaking of poker, silver eyes lit up as a devilish smile was hanging at a certain midget's face.

"Royal straight flush," Allen said with a smirk as he put his spread of cards on the table, grinning. Several groans were heard as they had lost a total of twenty games. The silver-haired teen just grinned happily as he took all his earnings he won proudly.

"Are you sure you did not cheat?" Lavi asked in slight suspicion. Allen just raised his eyebrow.

"Why would I cheat? My hands are perfectly clean." He showed out his hands, letting the redhead inspect for himself that he wouldn't resort to a dirty trick, but from the smirk on his face, Lavi wasn't so sure. After all, Allen was famous for winning strip poker in the past, and the devil wasn't kind to let the person scot-free if he lost everything to the game.

"Argh, I'm done with it," Bak sighed as he slumped on the table, losing all of his money. The rest nodded their heads in agreement.

"Why not we play a game of Truth or Dare? It has been a long time since I played this game, and we can make use of this to...discover secrets of one another? If he or she refuses to answer or do what he or she has to do, he or she will be punished by drinking up a glass of beer!" Tiedoll suggested with a playful wink. Allen flinched slightly at hearing what the old man. He looked around, but Kanda was nowhere in sight. He decided to retreat this time, but Lavi blocked his way purposely, grinning at him evilly.

"Let's play together, shall we, Allen?" He asked with a smirk, bringing Allen to sit beside him. Seeing everyone's gazes, the silver-haired teen had nowhere to go but to join them. Allen sighed, fidgeting a little as he pondered on what they would ask. He just hoped that he wouldn't have the luck tonight.

"Spin the bottle!" Lavi shouted. The empty beer bottle began to spin quickly, before it gradually slowed down and stopped, pointing towards Miranda who panicked immediately, not expecting that she was the first.

"Okay, Miranda, Truth or Dare?" The redhead asked. Miranda gulped nervously, not knowing what to choose.

"U-Uh...truth?"

"Okay! Here is the question. Miranda, have you ever been fired for more than five times?"

The woman paled instantly. Timothy poured a glass of beer to the brim and placed it in front of her.

"Isn't this a little too personal?" Allen asked.

"But that is the main reason why we play Truth or Dare. In this game, all the secrets left unrevealed will be known by everyone here!" Emerald eyes narrowed as he leaned towards him and smiled. "Is this why you do not want to play? You have secrets that we do not know?"

"N-No, I don't have secrets," The silver-haired teen shrugged and pushed him away. Lavi chuckled, before he turned to Miranda, waiting for her reply. Everyone turned and stared at her intensely, wondering what she would say. Miranda swallowed, her gaze looking elsewhere as she thought of an answer to this. After a few minutes, she finally let out a loud sigh and closed her eyes.

"...Yes."

"You could have chosen not to answer and drink this glass of beer as punishment," Fou pointed out. Miranda's eyes widened as though she realised this fact only at this moment. She groaned as she covered her face in embarrassment and shame.

"I know that I'm useless."

"No, you aren't. In fact, your powers help us a lot, Miranda." Miranda slowly looked up and stared at Komui in astonishment as the former Supervisor placed his hand on her shoulder to comfort her. She then turned and stared at everyone. No one laughed at her blunders or stupidity. Instead, they smiled and placed their hands on hers, and even without words, she could tell that they did not blame her on her clumsy behaviour one bit. A smile slowly crept up to her lips as she nodded her head.

"Okay, next!" The bottle was spun, and it stopped at Fou.

"Dare!" The robotic girl shouted before Lavi could ask her.

"Alright. I dare you to...go to former General Sonako and seduce him!" Lavi exclaimed. Everyone gasped in shock, before turning to stare at the former general who was engaging in a conversation with Bookman. Allen frowned, wondering whether this could even be done. The members in the Asian Branch rarely met them in headquarters unless necessary. He doubted that General Sonako even knew Fou by her existence.

"Okay!" To everyone's shock, she readily agreed to the challenge. Fou stood up and slowly approached the general who did not even know what was going on. She licked her lips as she slowly placed her hand softly at his shoulder blade, bringing his attention to her. Bookman stopped talking and stared at her in slight bewilderment, but glancing at what the group and his stupid apprentice were planning under their sleeves, he decided not to do anything and just watched the show in silence.

"General..." Fou asked with a low purr as she shot him a heated gaze and rubbed her thigh against his purposely. They could see that Sonako wasn't expecting this and was panicking slightly. This didn't stop her as she continued with her teasing, her hand sliding down his chest in such a painfully slow speed that the general stiffened on the spot, his hair standing on ends. The robotic girl showed a cute pout as she leaned against his chest.

"What do you...think of me?" She whispered softly. Rou Fa blushed at the sight and covered her face from embarrassment. Krory and Lavi almost had nose bleeds, while Allen just gaped in shock. He was speechless, not knowing whether to congratulate her for her excellent acting skills or to say she was a genius in the beginning. The former general's face had already turned white, probably too shocked at what he was experiencing. Fou walked back to the group and sat down with a triumphant smirk on her face.

"How do I fare?" She asked.

"Full marks..." Everyone muttered with a sigh.

"Okay let's continue with the game!" Lavi said and spun the bottle. The bottle slowly stopped at Rou Fa who was the next person to play the game.

"Truth or Dare?"

"Truth," She replied timidly, not having the courage to do the dare game after seeing what Fou did just now.

"Okay, it's my turn to ask! Rou Fa, do you love Allen?" Fou asked. Rou Fa stiffened at her question, while Allen flinched and stared at the robotic girl in slight astonishment, not expecting her to use such a strong word. He then turned and stared at the brunette whose head was staring at the floor, silent. Everyone's gazes were onto the both of them.

"I didn't know that Rou Fa likes Allen," Krory said. Chouji and Marie nodded their heads.

"So...what is your answer? Or you prefer to take the penalty instead?" Lavi asked, pushing a glass of beer to her. Rou Fa slowly looked up and stared at the beverage in slight fear. She swallowed, her lips parted as she almost answered that she did confessed to Allen that Christmas Eve night. She wasn't sure whether it was love - after all, it was just one-sided, but from Allen's reaction that night, she already knew the answer. Although she had prepared herself for it, it still hurt a little. And now, for her to bring it up again, she just...couldn't do it. Rou Fa glanced at Allen who was staring elsewhere, showing a grim and uncomfortable expression.

She breathed hardly as her hand slowly reached out for the glass of beer.

"I drink for her." Everyone slowly turned to the voice as Allen took the glass and chugged it down his throat. It felt raw, and tasted so bitter that he almost gagged everything out, but he swallowed everything down forcefully. The silver-haired teen drank to its last drop, before he slammed the empty glass on the table, touching his forehead in slight dizziness. He closed his eyes and breathed heavily. It was his first time drinking alcohol, and because he drank everything in one shot, his body couldn't get use to it and was reacting slower than usual. Allen placed his hand at his wet lips as he slowly opened his eyes, seeing double images dancing in front of his vision.

"Allen, are...are you okay?" Lavi asked in concern, patting his back to ease him up. Allen shook his head and slapped his face, keeping himself more awake.

"I'm...I'm f-fine..." He slurred slightly, a faint smile forming on his lips.

"I'm sorry, Allen..." Rou Fa apologised profusely, feeling thankful and slightly guilty for his doing which was for her sake.

"It's okay..." Allen replied softly. Fou frowned, suspicious of their behaviours. Why did Allen offer to take the penalty for Rou Fa instead? There must be something more to this. She wanted to ask further, but knew that in this game, she could only use her turn once. The robotic girl let out a soft frustrated sigh, deciding to let this go for now. Others were also slightly puzzled by this, but they could only see what would happen from now onwards.

"Okay, let's continue!" Lavi took the bottle and spun. Allen groaned at his throbbing headache from the effects of the alcohol which seems to hit him hard. Silver eyes stared at the spinning bottle, his subconsciousness gradually taking his senses over as he recalled back to that night when he and Kanda stayed together. They chatted, bickered, and through that particular when he leaned closer and kissed him, his heart beat wildly in reply, and Allen realised that he had fallen hard for Kanda. That playful smirk hanging at his lips, his beautiful sapphire eyes, his strands of soft hair touching his face and shoulders covering everything in sight as they faced each other, feeling each other's breaths. He wanted everything. He wanted everything of Kanda, all to his.

"Allen, it's your turn."

Allen stared at the bottle which was pointing at him.

"Truth or Dare?"

He realised that he could no longer ignore his feelings anymore.

"Dare."

Lavi was staring elsewhere for a moment, before a devilish grin slowly crept up to his lips.

"Allen, I dare you...to kiss Yuu-chan on his lips."

It was only then when Allen was completely awake. He stared at the redhead, shocked.

"Wh-what?"

Everyone seems to be staring at another direction, shocked looks on their faces. Allen blinked, and as he turned and stared at whatever they were staring, he froze.

Kanda was standing right behind him.

Everything seems to come to a standstill. Silver eyes widened in slight panic, not knowing what to do. He assumed that Kanda had heard every single word Lavi said. He knew that he couldn't take a single drop of alcohol anymore, but his body refused to move at the sight of the raven-haired man. He couldn't look at his face which reminded him about what happened that night repeatedly.

"...Allen?" Lenalee asked, getting worried when she saw the silver-haired teen's face turning into a pale white when he was staring at Kanda.

Allen winced at the pain from the effects of the alcohol hammering hardly on his head. He swallowed as he slowly stood up, his eyes never left Kanda. He then walked closer to him, his eyes focusing on his lips rather than the burning gaze in that pair of sapphire eyes which had been staring at him for at least a few minutes. His heart pounded hardly on his chest and his hands began to shake uncontrollably. _Just one more step, give that baKanda a swift brush at his lips, and it will be over. _Allen forced out a shaky smile, his trembling lips parting slightly as he took another step. He placed a hand at his shoulder, and to his surprise, Kanda did not push him away. Allen closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

The whole apartment was deadly silent, all eyes fixed onto the two of them.

He slowly reached up, his lips brushing softly against his. It was soft, yet extremely warm, and as he was embraced with his warmth again, he wished that this would not end. His eyes slowly closed, and as he was about to let go, he felt slight movements from the other responding to the kiss. Silver eyes snapped open as Allen stared at him in shock, but his dizziness kicked in and he lost his balance and fell. Kanda noticed in time and caught him by his waist before he collapsed onto the floor.

"Allen!" Everyone stood up, shocked and worried.

"Are you alright?" Kanda asked. Allen slowly nodded his head, gripping his shirt as he forced himself to stand on his feet. He pushed away that pair of arms encircling him and walked back to the group with a faint smile on his face. Everyone just stared at him, speechless.

"I'm done with the challenge. Shall we continue?"

"I...never expect Allen to kiss Kanda..." Krory muttered, not knowing what to say. Even Fou was lost for words.

Kanda turned and walked away. Allen did not look back. Lenalee frowned, thinking that it wasn't as simple as it was. She knew that something was definitely amiss, especially when Kanda did absolutely nothing when Allen kissed him. The olive-haired girl turned around and walked, searching for the raven-haired man. As she peered out of the opened balcony, she saw Kanda there, standing at the edge of the wall as he peered at the night sky.

"Kanda."

He turned, seeing Lenalee walking to him. Kanda said nothing and continued to stare at the stars shimmering in the sky. The reason he came here was not solely to admire the beautiful night scenery. He was slightly pissed at the kiss, and though it was just a slight brush, his emotions surged at the burning heat at his lips, and he wanted to slip his tongue into his mouth and taste him once again. When Allen broke away, he could not believe that he felt disappointment instead. Sapphire eyes narrowed as he let out a low hiss. Does that mean that he had always wanted Allen in...that kind of way?

"What happened between the two of you?" Lenalee asked as she stood beside him.

"Nothing happened," Kanda replied coolly, refusing to look at her.

"Something must have happened!" Lenalee shouted, getting frustrated over this...problem that was in the middle of him and Allen which was the cause of their contradictions and denials between their own feelings for each other.

"I will not believe anything you said when...when you did something like that with Allen!"

"That was just a game!" He turned and glared at her.

"Are you sure? Kanda, you just allowed Allen to kiss you just now! You don't even allow anyone to touch you, let alone Allen who was your rival! Why?" Lenalee exclaimed loudly.

"I don't know!" Kanda yelled back, sapphire eyes glowing darkly in anger. "I don't know why the hell I allowed myself to be kissed by that beansprout, I don't know why! I don't know!" The raven-haired man turned and slammed his fists down on the wall. He gritted his teeth, his feelings and thoughts completely disorganised. He did not even know what the hell he was exactly doing ever since he kissed Allen during that night. Everything was so messed up that he did not know how to get it right. Kanda cursed under his breath, his fingers clawing against the hard concrete surface. His feelings was fucking screwed up badly, and it was literally driving him crazy.

He slowly closed his eyes, showing a slight pained and frustrated expression for the first time. Lenalee stared at him, completely stunned and speechless. In all her life ever since she met Kanda, she had never seen him like that. Kanda rarely showed his emotions - whether he was injured or hearing the news that he was just a host of someone who was labelled the third Exorcists - he always had a stoic expression worn on his face.

"Kanda, do you like Allen?" She asked quietly.

Kanda turned back to her quickly, his lips opening slightly. Lenalee thought that he was going to dismiss that ridiculous idea with a snap, but to their astonishment, no words came out of his throat. His eyebrows furrowed in extreme annoyance as Kanda shut his mouth and turned away, choosing to stare at the distant lights from the neighbourhood. Lenalee sighed, leaning against the wall slightly as she stared at the night sky.

"Allen has lived on together with his feelings for you, and it is why he is still in pain. He still cannot forget you, no matter how hard he tried. I know you are struggling with this, but please don't let him wait for too long. If you have no feelings for him, please tell Allen such that he can officially move on," Lenalee said as she turned, staring at his dark sapphire eyes which was covered partially by his raven hair strands.

Kanda said nothing.

"You have to face your own feelings, Kanda. It is the best choice for the both of you."

His frustrated mood slowly settled down as his heart beat more calmly, his ears filled with the soft whispers of the night breeze brushing lightly on his face. He thought of the words that Lenalee said to him. He then recalled the moments shared between him and the beansprout last night and the unexpected kiss. Heated emotions slowly surfaced and Kanda covered his slight flushed face with his hand. As far as he did not want to admit, he did not dislike the kiss in the least.

His finger glossed through his lips. Even now, he could still feel a little warmth lingering behind. The kiss just now was quick and hesitant, unlike the one they had during that stormy night. He could feel the tension and slight fear from the beansprout, and Kanda knew what caused Allen to react like this.

_"Sorry..."_

Suddenly, he felt something cold descended onto his arm. Kanda looked up, seeing little flakes of snow falling from the night sky.

"Beautiful..." Lenalee murmured, reaching her hand out as the snow landed lightly onto her palm. Sapphire eyes gazed at the accumulating snow from the sky, slowly recalling back to a particular period when they were still Exorcists working in the Black Order.

_It was a cloudy night, and snow was falling endlessly from the sky. He remembered himself walking alone around the Order in slight boredom, having nothing to do in mind._

_He walked over to the training room, which should be empty around this time he supposed, but he detected an existence inside. Kanda slowly approached the wooden door, his hand at his sword as he was ready to pull out and deal with those irritating intruders, but when he opened the door, astonishment got to him as he saw the silver-haired teen sitting inside, holding something glowing in his hand._

_"There you are, Kanda!" He saw him and greeted loudly._

_"Why are you here?" Kanda hissed coldly. Allen just smiled and gestured him to come. The swordsman frowned as he paced over to his side, raising his eyebrow slightly as he saw a plate of cake with a small candle lit with a small flame. He stared at Allen questioningly._

_"What do you want?"_

_"Sit down," Allen merely replied. Kanda sat down on the mat across him, peering at him in slight suspicion. He had no idea why the beansprout would appear at the training room in such a late hour._

_"Four more minutes," Allen whispered. Kanda cocked his eyebrow in bewilderment. He stared at the clock which showed four more minutes before hitting twelve of the next day, 25th of December. The raven-haired swordsman gazed at the silhouette of the silver-haired Exorcist, and he couldn't help but admire his slender yet slightly masculine body. Silver eyes met his, and as Allen smiled at him again, Kanda grunted and stared elsewhere, wondering why he was getting uncomfortable over a stupid smile. _

_"It's twelve!" Allen shouted, seeing the needle hitting twelve. He then stared at Kanda and grinned, stretching his hand out. Kanda stared at his hand in confusion._

_"What?"_

_"Where is my present?"_

_His frown deepened at his senseless question, but as he thought deeper, sapphire eyes widened in realisation as he stared back at the silver-haired teen._

_"Yes, it's my birthday today! Though it's not official, but it is the day Mana took me home, thus my birthday lies on the 25th December. So...where is my present, Kanda?" Allen asked with a frown. _

_"Che. You know that I don't give presents," Kanda replied in a monotone voice, but he couldn't understand why Allen chose to celebrate it together with him now when he could celebrate it together with his friends later. Allen noticed his questioning gaze and laughed softly. _

_"Because...I just want to spend the start of the day with you." _

_"Why?" He asked. _

_"There isn't any reason. I just want to spend it with you," Allen replied with a smile. _

_"Che."_

_"Let's finish this small piece of cake, shall we?"_

_"You know that I hate sweets."_

_"...eat it with me?" Allen asked with pleading eyes. Dark sapphire eyes narrowed in annoyance. Before he could snap, he felt something soft and...extremely sweet being stuffed into his mouth. Kanda blinked, swallowing down the cake and cream as he glared darkly at Allen who was laughing away. _

"It's...his birthday today."

Lenalee slowly turned to stare at him in slight astonishment. Kanda continued to gaze at the sky.

"How...do you know?"

"Lenalee!" She turned and saw Komui standing at the door. He nodded his head, and she knew that it was time. Lenalee turned and nudged Kanda's shoulder. The raven-haired man turned to stare at her.

"Let's go. It's time."

Kanda grunted and followed her inside. As they walked into the living room, the former swordsman noticed that the group had settled to a quiet movie session. He was about to take a sit on an empty couch when Lenalee tugged his sleeve and pulled him into the kitchen. Kanda growled in annoyance and glared at her, but his thoughts were cut off when she handed him the birthday cake with two large candles shaped like a number 'two' and 'zero' consecutively.

"What..."

"We will switch off the lights. You will present the cake to Allen," Lenalee said with a wink. Kanda just stood there, completely stunned as he received the cake from her. Sapphire eyes widened in realisation.

"Wait, why should I-!"

"Nii-san is switching off the lights now!" Lenalee whispered. Kanda cursed under his breath.

As they were watching the movie, the lights were suddenly turned off. Allen blinked at the darkness and looked around, wondering what had happened. His eyes then turned to stare at the flickering candle lights hovering at the kitchen door as everyone started to sing.

"Happy birthday to you..."

Silver eyes slowly widened in shock and surprise as Kanda came to him with a birthday cake in his hand.

"Happy birthday to Allen, happy birthday to you!"

Allen gasped, his hand covering his trembling lips as he stared at the cake in front of him, tears welling up his eyes. He had totally forgotten about his birthday, but what he did not expect this year was...all of this. Allen looked up at Kanda who gave a light smirk and said something which he would never forget in his whole life.

"Happy Birthday, Moyashi."

* * *

Hi guys! Sorry for the late update again! It's Allen's 20th birthday! I know it's my fault for not updating this chapter during Christmas but...well, at least you get to enjoy this chapter now! Mainly focusing on their Christmas celebration and Allen's birthday, so the paragraph on their Christmas party is a little long. And I assumed that only Allen knows that Lavi has a thing for older women. This story is AU, not focusing on current manga chapters.

As I promise, there is light LaviLenalee fluff! Yullen is practically all over this chapter, and it's getting there...ALMOST there...

And I really want to thank all of you reviewers/readers for the wonderful reviews! Thank you so much for supporting this story even though updates are slow. I will try to update a little bit faster. This story should end in about 3 - 4 chapters. I know that I said that it would end at around 10 chapters but the storyline is longer than that so...please bare with me a little longer! I hope that I could achieve getting a total of...100 reviews for this story? Would all of you help me to achieve that goal? :)

Okay, I am thinking of writing a lemon for this story. Sorry to say but this lemony goodness is only for Yullen and not LaviLenalee. Are you guys HAPPY? It should be around the last 2nd chapter, so please look forward to it! :D

Please review! Help me achieve a total of 100 reviews for this story! Thank you very much!

**SingingBlues**


	13. Kotodama

**Chapter 13: Kotodama**

"_You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,  
Love like you'll never be hurt,  
Sing like there's nobody listening,  
And live like it's heaven on earth."_

― _William W. Purkey_

_xxx  
_

_Happy Birthday, Moyashi._

Kanda blinked, staring at his work in slight astonishment. The raven-haired man smacked himself out of his thoughts as he continued to finish up the remaining of his project on hand before he returned to Canada. So many things happened at once yesterday that he had little recollections on what he had been doing at the Christmas party...apart from the kiss and the irritating silver-haired midget. Kanda hissed in frustration as he ruffled up his hair, forcing himself to concentrate, but no matter how hard he tried to block off his thoughts, it would always go back to the silver-haired teen.

He slammed his pen down on the table and stood up, deciding to get himself some breakfast before he continued with his work. Kanda grabbed his coat, wallet and card, opening the door and walking out of the room. He took the lift down to the main lobby, and as the doors opened, calm and soothing music from the cafe rang melodiously at his ears as he walked there and ordered himself a sandwich and a coffee. He then walked to a table at a corner, and as he sat down and waited for his order to come, Kanda took out his phone and fingered it in boredom.

He began recalling that moment when that stupid rabbit asked that stupid beansprout to do such a ridiculous task. Lavi definitely did that on purpose _― _their gazes met seconds when he entered the living room, and he saw that devilish grin of his forming on his lips. He knew he was planning something evil up his sleeves, but he had never expected him to ask the midget to kiss him. He wanted to sentence that rabbit to death instantly, but he pushed that aside for now. He was more interested in how that beansprout would react towards this challenge.

Allen turned around and stared at him with wide, shocked eyes. His face were flushed red, and as he noticed an empty glass of beer consumed, Kanda had a slight idea why he looked rather tipsy. Still, he wanted to know what Allen would do _― _to accept the challenge like a man, or reject it. He did not have the slightest idea why he was watching this with growing anticipation, and why he was waiting for something between the two of them to happen.

The silver-haired teen slowly stood up and approached him slowly. Their gazes were locked together tightly, refusing to let go of each other. That pair of silver eyes which always looked so appealing shone enticingly in the dim lights, stunning him instantly. His heart throbbed hardly in response, overwhelmed by several unknown emotions coming over him. Kanda felt slightly absurd. Was he so mesmerised by that beansprout's beauty that he could no longer think rationally?

Allen stood close to him and placed his hand on his shoulder. His warmth and scent invaded him all over again, messing up his senses. He could no longer look away from him, could no longer ignore the growing desire to taste him all over again, and the worse thing was, he did not want this to stop.

Their hair strands brushed lightly against their cheeks, and as Allen closed in and kissed him on his lips, something warm within him was sparked instantly, startling him slightly. Kanda could not explain the feeling that he got. It felt...good. It was good, and perhaps something more. Leaning in towards that familiar warmth of his, he wanted to relive the pleasure that they shared during that night.

And he did not know why he felt that way.

"Sir!"

Sapphire eyes blinked for a moment. Kanda slowly looked up in a slight daze, seeing the waiter waving a paper bag at the counter. The raven-haired man stood up and walked over to collect his breakfast.

_Is it really that amusing to see me fell into this state? I'm already beyond pathetic right now, so stop humiliating me and let me go, Kanda!_

He had thousands of reasons to push Allen away, yet part of him did not want to let him go. The more Allen showed such a painful expression on his face, the more he did not want to let him go. He did not want to let that beansprout go.

_Please don't let him wait for too long. If you have no feelings for him, please tell Allen such that he can officially move on._

Why?

"Kanda!" He looked ahead, seeing the red-haired girl waving at him at the entrance. Kanda just stared in silence as she went to him, panting slightly. The raven-haired man was wondering why she knew where he was currently living, and after several thoughts, he remembered that he was to return the thumb drive to her for research.

"Here to buy breakfast?" She asked. Kanda merely nodded his head and proceeded to the main lobby. The doors slowly closed and the lift was ascending to the 8th floor.

"Are you alright, Kanda? You don't seem to be...yourself." Mandy peered at him in concern, tidying up her thick locks of hair with a bright silver-coloured hairband. He just stared at her _― _or rather, the accessory on her head in silence. It shimmered beautifully through the sunlight, and somehow, he could see the same shimmer reflected from his silvery orbs. Kanda hissed as he felt his hurting forehead at that memory.

"Kanda..." There was a loud ring, before the doors opened. Kanda walked out and went to his room, his hand slipping into his tight pocket to get his card for access. As he was about to slot it in, something grabbed his wrist. Kanda stared at the hand, before he turned to her.

"Did...anything happen?"

He wasn't sure whether anything really happened, or whether he was really alright when he shouldn't be. He was acting calmer than he thought to be. His mind was blank, and his heart just felt numb and...nothing, though he could not deny a slight tinge of pain within himself, and it only stung harder at the thought of a certain beansprout. And it really felt unbearable. The raven-haired man couldn't understand. He was supposed to cast all his feelings and emotions away, long when he was still an Exorcist. Everything should have been long gone, yet...

"Nothing happen." Kanda inserted the card into the card slot. A soft beep was heard, before the door unlocked by itself. He walked over to his desk and plucked out the thumb drive from his laptop. The raven-haired man turned around and was about to return it to her when he stopped.

"I didn't know that you live in such a beautiful room, Kanda! The view here is just so breath-taking!" Mandy exclaimed in excitement as she rushed over to the windows and looked down, her eyes sparkling and her lips curving into a large smile. Kanda just stared, slightly shocked and stunned. The way she reacted, the way she smiled, the words she spoke _― _all were the same as that beansprout. It was as though he was seeing that silver-haired teen again, running around the room with such inquisitive eyes and pure expressions on his face. He almost answered, before remembering that she wasn't him. Allen wasn't here. He already left, and he was not coming back.

_I got it. _

There had been too much memories of Allen Walker. Too much, till he could not handle it anymore...

_If you intended on making me feel humiliated, playing around my feelings for you, you have succeeded._

"Kanda, aren't you going to give me my thumb drive?" Mandy asked in a slight frown. Kanda nodded his head and handed her a dark-red thumb drive with a small cute key chain attached at its end. She took it and smiled.

"So when are you leaving, Kanda?"

"28 December." Mandy flinched, before turning to look at him in shock.

"So fast?"

"The boss asked me to return to the main office early and take up another major project from another client," The raven-haired man replied as he pulled the curtains aside, letting more of the sunlight to enter the room and brighten up the area. He then noticed his sketch book at the edge of the desk, remembering that particular sketch he drew. Normally he would throw away anything which were insignificant to him without hesitation. This drawing was obviously something unnecessary, totally not related to him or his work, so why was he still keeping it?

Was there any reason to keep it?

"I see. I probably will only return around early January. Don't wanna miss the great scenery and the beautiful structures in London. Though I'm kinda envious of you to be able to take up another big project," Mandy said with a slight pout, playing with the thumb drive in her hand.

"You can, if you work harder," Kanda answered with a slight snort. Now that his current assignment was completed, he had nothing to do for the next two days till his departure for Canada. It might be a good idea to explore around the city before he left. Other than the beauty of the city, there wasn't anything in this place which was holding him back. There wasn't anything...anything that was holding him back...

_Kanda._

Kanda stepped into the washroom located at the far corner of the bedroom, turning on the water tap as he splashed cold water roughly onto his face. The coldness stung his skin so hardly that it reddened a little, and the feeling was slowly numbed. He slowly looked up, seeing his reflection and the droplets of water slowly dripping down into the sink from the smooth ends of his raven strands.

_Kanda._

Sapphire eyes slowly narrowed, his hand reaching out to that very spot at his chest where his curse previously was, and where his erratic heartbeats were throbbing hardly every second.

Mandy blinked at a sketch book lying on the table. Being curious on what the raven-haired man always drew which got the attentions of most of the company's clients and the boss's constant praises, she opened the book slightly to take a peek on the pictures. Her eyes blinked in awe and amazement as she read through the pages, and when she flipped to that particular sketch, she stopped. Glancing through the thick and thin outlines of the work, her eyes slowly widened at the familiarity of this drawing.

She remembered him. He was that silver-haired teen who was somehow related to Kanda in a way. The sketch was beautifully done, outlining every bit of the detail and drawing out the forlorn expression of the silver-haired teen when he was looking afar very clearly. But...why would Kanda draw a portrait of him? She recalled that Kanda never accepted requests of drawing anyone unless it was purely for his assignment and research. Mandy peered at the picture for a moment, before she slowly put down the sketch book on the table.

"What are you doing?" She turned around abruptly, slightly shocked to see Kanda behind. Mandy laughed sheepishly as she stepped back from the table, keeping a distance between herself and the sketch book.

"Nothing. I guess I have to go." The red-haired girl walked to the door and opened it, walking out of the room. She closed the door behind her, not caring whether the raven-haired man wanted to speak to her or not. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to listen either. Mandy went into the lift, thinking back to that moment when she saw the portrait of someone which should not be present in that person's book. Kanda did not seem to be in his mood lately as well. She wondered whether these two things were related.

Kanda decided to go out and walk around the city of London for today.

He boarded the bus, sitting down at the right side as he peered at the streets from the window. It was late morning, and most people were awake, on their way to do what they wanted to do. The vehicle was now driving over the London Tower Bridge, and as the sun rose to the peak of the sky, he could see the shimmering surface of the river, glistening brightly like pure jewels. He took out his camera and snapped a photo of it.

The bus slowly stopped, and Kanda alighted on the street, grabbing his sling bag tightly by his side as he adjusted his silvery winter cap on his head. He walked forward, observing the old buildings and the road signs surrounding the whole town. The raven-haired man then turned at the first traffic junction, seeing Foyles, one of the most famous bookshops available in London which had every kind of book that one wanted to find. Kanda stepped in, warm air blowing at his face as he was greeted with shelves of books around.

He walked through the crowd carefully, searching for the books which were related to interior design. Something caught his eye and he stopped, taking out a golden-coated book about interior design written by a renown author. Kanda flipped it open, skimming through the words quickly. To his slight surprise, he found more books which would be helpful for his research. Kanda walked quickly from shelf to shelf, not noticing a young woman in front as the two of them collided into each other, dropping their books. She muttered an apology as she bent down to pick up the books. Sapphire eyes narrowed in slight irritation, but he bent down and helped her out as well.

"Your books," She handed him the books, and as their eyes met each other, he stiffened slightly at her silvery orbs which reminded him so much of the beansprout. He always thought that there was no one he met who had the same exotic eyes as Allen. Kanda took his books and walked away immediately, not wanting to stay. He went over to the counter to pay for the books, and as he was about to walk out of the door when he halted in his footsteps, picking up an extremely familiar scent which only belonged to that beansprout. His head whipped around as Kanda searched through the crowded area, but there was no signs of Allen Walker.

_I must have mistaken. _Kanda thought.

_But what exactly am I anticipating? _Sapphire eyes narrowed for a moment, before the raven-haired man walked out of the bookstore.

Seconds later, a silver-haired teen emerged out of the crowd, taking a basket of books to the counter for payment.

* * *

"There are so many books here! Really thank you so much for bringing me here, Allen!" Rou Fa exclaimed in happiness as she stared at the large bag of books she had bought.

"I'm glad for that. Since you are going back tonight, I must well show you around London before you go," Allen replied with a smile. She nodded her head in agreement. It was slightly saddening to know that the brunette, Fou, Bak and Wong were returning back to Norway due to their work, but this year's Christmas had never been so enjoyable without their appearances. It was only right for him to repay back for the wonderful presents he received from them.

Though he wasn't sure when Kanda was leaving this place. Was he going to allow Kanda to leave again, just like that particular night when he pulled away from him, leaving without answers to his feelings for him? Allen swallowed as his arms slowly hugged his chest tightly, trying to conceal the unbearable feeling surfacing whenever he thought of Kanda who was going to leave. Through the days, he had done too much, till it crossed beyond the line. He could no longer stop the growing affection for the raven-haired man which was escalating at an increasingly fast rate, and now, to think that he was going to leave eventually...

"Are you cold, Allen?" Rou Fa asked in concern. Allen realised that they had stopped walking. He released his grip as his arms slowly fell beside his body. The silver-haired teen then smiled and shook his head.

"I'm alright."

He could see that Rou Fa wasn't really believing what he said, but he wished that she wouldn't probe further, because he did not know just how long he could hold back the overwhelming emotions which was about to burst. Allen forced out another smile as he pulled her arm, gesturing her to continue. The brunette blushed at his action, but followed him as they continued their last journey in London.

They passed by many eateries with different kinds of cuisines and snacks for them to enjoy. Rou Fa stared at the delicious-looking cakes displaying behind the glass, beckoning Allen to come over and look. Their stomachs growled and whined pleadingly, and after several considerations, they decided to go into a cafe to satisfy their craves. They went from cafe to cafe, trying different types of mouthwatering small bites and groaning in pleasure at the creamy feeling at their mouths.

After filling up their stomachs, they decided to do some shopping. Rou Fa ran into a department store and literally squealed at the cute mickey mouse hair band. She put it on and stared at the mirror, admiring herself. The brunette then suggested that he should try it as well. Allen blinked and refused immediately, but after some arguments and messing up of his hair, the hair band was found on a certain silver-haired teen's head as Allen glared at his slightly revolting look in the mirror.

"You look so cute, Allen!" Rou Fa exclaimed, snapping a picture of him. Allen flushed slightly and took it off, walking out of the store. They walked along the bustling street, admiring at the different kinds of fashion and trying out trendy outfits just for the pure of fun. They took photos of their funny postures and expressions they made, laughing all the way as they looked at them.

They stopped at the side of the street, catching their breaths and calming themselves down.

"Thank you...for bringing me out, Allen." Rou Fa smiled in gratitude.

"Why the sudden...?" Allen asked, blinking in slight bewilderment. She let out a sigh and turned around, leaning against the glass pane of another shop which was selling accessories.

"I know...that you do not like me in that way."

Silver eyes widened slightly as he stared at her.

"I somehow understood it, even though you did not tell me at that time. You even helped me out during that game. It's...more than enough," She replied softly, glancing at the concrete floor in front of her, her lips forming a thin and solemn smile.

"I'm sorry," He said, not knowing what to say.

"Thanks to you, we have created so much beautiful memories, inside here." Rou Fa pointed to the camera strapped at her neck. Allen smiled and nodded his head. Even though he did not like her, she was one of his special friends he had met in his life, and he was so glad that he met her at that time when he needed help the most. He cherished the happy times they had when he was recovering in the Asian Branch, along with the rest as well, and he was thankful for their encouragements when his mood was at its lowest. Without them, he doubted that he could come this far. Without them, he doubted he could even be alive.

They smiled and hugged each other. Rou Fa blushed slightly as she got out of the embrace.

"I guess I have to go."

"So early?" Allen asked in slight astonishment. It was still three in the early afternoon.

"Yeah. I want to spend the rest of my time with Fou and the rest before we leave for Norway," The brunette answered with a smile.

"I see. I hope to see you again."

"Me too."

She turned and was about to go when she stopped. Allen blinked in slight puzzlement, wondering whether she got any more to say to him.

"If you have something you want to do, do it. Don't make yourself regret for the rest of your life."

Silver eyes widened. Rou Fa left, and Allen stood there, pondering at what she had said. Memories of him and Kanda flashed momentarily in his mind, and he realised what she really meant by those words. Like her, Kanda was not going to stay here forever. He was going to leave, and he wasn't sure whether they could meet again. His foot jerked, having the urge to find the former swordsman, but something held him back. Even though Kanda kissed him twice, it was because of a game and mere impulse which meant nothing to the both of them. Even if he found Kanda, nothing would change. His heart was already left unanswered three years ago.

The silver-haired teen walked aimlessly on the streets. Having nothing to do, Allen decided to go home. As he was about to turn, his shoulder bumped into someone. He stumbled slightly and looked up, a little surprised to see Tiedoll in front of him.

"Froi-san?"

"Allen! Never thought to see you here!" The old man exclaimed. He was wearing a large grey windbreaker with a thick dark navy scarf wrapped around his neck. The silver-haired teen then noticed a sketch book under his arm. No matter where he went, the former general would always carry his own sketch book and draw anything which got his attention.

"Aah, I plan to spend my time today to look for beautiful sculptures and scenery views to draw in my book. It looks like I have lost my way here," He sighed, staring at the foreign surroundings.

"I show you around? There are many beautiful pieces of art and sculptures in London, and some are linked deep down in history," Allen suggested.

"That would be good! Thank you, Allen," Tiedoll said with a smile. Allen smiled back in return and led them out of the shopping district to take a bus to their destination.

They travelled to many places, from Hampton Court Palace to view the exotic buildings, the St Paul's Cathedral to the Kensington Palace, a residence of the British Royal Family since the 17th century. The old man was clearly enjoying the whole trip, his eyes brightening in excitement and awe as he drew what he saw into his sketch book. Allen watched him in silence, remembering the drawing on him in Kanda's sketch book. His heart clenched, and he closed his eyes, trying to erase everything related to the raven-haired man.

"Thinking of Yuu-kun?"

Silver eyes flew open as Allen stared at him in shock. Tiedoll chuckled in amusement as he peered at the scenery, before he continued in his drawing again.

"That son of mine is always slow in realising his feelings. He always does things as though it should be done with the results he expects. But sometimes, things don't always go in the way you expect it to be."

"I wasn't_―_"

"Wasn't thinking of him? Do not lie to your own feelings, Allen," Tiedoll said sternly. Allen slowly closed his mouth and stared at him in slight astonishment. The old man just let out a soft sigh.

"Yuu-kun is leaving on the 28th of December, taking the ten o'clock flight back to Canada."

* * *

Kanda leaned against the London bridge, enjoying the cooling breeze as he drank a warm cup of latte in his hands. The raven-haired man seeped the warm coffee down his throat, letting out a breathy sigh. He stared across the bright orange horizon of the evening sun, his boots tapping lightly on the stone-tiled ground. Many vehicles passed by, and many kinds of people walked past the bridge, having different destinations they had to go, but where exactly would they end up at the end of their road? And what decision would they make such that they would go to the final destination that they wanted to go in the end?

What road would he choose to go in the end? What would he choose?

Who...would he choose?

_"If you hate me, why are you doing this? Why are you...holding me back?" Allen asked in a soft yet pleading tone. _

_"That is because you are the person that is fucking holding me back!" Kanda yelled back, anger reflected in his eyes._

_"I couldn't erase you from my mind. Ever since you left like this, I kept thinking about you till it was literally driving me crazy! I also do not know what the hell is wrong with me, but something just struck within me that something strange was definitely happening to you that night, and I have to find answers to it, or else those memories would not leave me alone!" _

_"Why do you care?" The silver-haired teen questioned him in return at why he could even bother to scold him for being a dumbass who did not look out and almost crashed onto a lamp post. _

_"You think this is funny, but I think it is extremely not funny...are you joking around with me? Are you...that oblivious?" Allen asked in the hotel room, having a grim expression formed on his face as he stared at Kanda. _

_"Is it really that amusing to see me fell into this state? I'm already beyond pathetic right now, so stop humiliating me and let me go, Kanda!" The silver-haired teen yelled hoarsely at the top of his voice, pushing him away hardly._

_"I got it. If you intended on making me feel humiliated, playing around my feelings for you, you have succeeded."_ _A bitter smile was formed at his lips as Allen stared at him with an emotionless face. There was no sadness, no signs of fatigue, nothing at all. Just a face void of emotions. _

_"You have to face your own feelings, Kanda. It is the best choice for the both of you."_

Memories of him and Allen Walker began to play inside his mind, from the day they first met in a park, just right beside the Christmas tree, that particular night when he pulled Allen in for a heated kiss for no reason and the Truth and Dare game which ended up having the two of them kissing each other again. His voice, his smile, his every movements and behaviour _― _all of him were deeply etched inside his memory. His heart always thumped hardly at the thought of the beansprout's distant and hurting look whenever he was staring at him.

_"Kanda, do you like Allen?" _

_"It is because...I love you." He whispered at his ear, before he left._

_I love you._

_I love you._

His long nails clawed against the rough surface of the stone railing of the bridge. Leaving his cup of coffee on the railing, Kanda turned, his raven strands flying gracefully in the moving wind as they descended messily across his shoulders. Some girls stopped by and awed at the beauty they were seeing, but he did not notice and was going his way towards the direction of Lenalee's house. Seeing the traffic light turning green within metres away, the raven-haired man was about to cross at the junction when he felt a tug at his long sleeves, stopping him halfway. Sapphire eyes widened slightly in astonishment as he stumbled backwards, before he turned and saw Mandy in front of him.

"Mandy?"

* * *

His heart thumped hardly, his eyes widened in shock, and he found himself unable to breathe all of a sudden. All the sounds around him gradually left his ears, and as the silver-haired teen stared at the blank ground in a daze, he wondered whether he was still conscious of the world that he was living in. Allen then choked and coughed uncontrollably as everything all rushed back to him instantly _― _the times being an Exorcist, the memories the two of them shared together, the feelings he had towards him and the pain he had to bear as a consequence for falling in love with someone like him. His body ached, his head spun, and his heart wrenched greatly in pain.

"Allen?" Tiedoll went to him and gave him several gentle pats on his back. Allen took in a deep breath as he managed to calm himself down. He felt something being put onto his hand. Staring down at the white card which had the name of the only hotel he visited just days ago, silver eyes slowly widened as he looked up at the old man with a slight dumbfounded expression.

"Please help me return this to him. This shall be the last excuse I give to you as a farewell present," Tiedoll said with a wink.

"Wh-What..." Allen stared at the card, speechless.

"I hope that you won't do something which will make you regret for the rest of your life. Now, let me enjoy the rest of the day for my inspirations. Oh, you don't need to accompany me anymore, Allen. I know my way through here." Before the silver-haired teen could say anything, the former general walked away to admire the magnificent view of the palace which was still maintained in good condition.

Allen just remained at his position with a stunned look on his face, recalling the words that the former general had said to him. He had always tried denying his feelings for the raven-haired man when he realised that he was starting to fall in love with Kanda. Three years ago, he pushed him away and decided to keep that heated feelings behind and move on with life. Three years after, their paths fatefully crossed with each other, and the faded feelings soon returned, only getting stronger when he was facing the Kanda Yuu who was so different compared to the past. After giving him so many confusing signals, that baKanda was going back just like that? His hands slowly clenched tightly in anger.

_Yuu-kun is leaving on the 28th of December, taking the ten o'clock flight back to Canada._

He turned and ran.

* * *

Kanda turned and stared at the auburn-haired girl in front of him in slight bewilderment.

"Mandy?"

"Where are you going, Kanda?" She demanded firmly. He did not know what was into her, and why her piercing tone was making him slightly uncomfortable, as though she was not the Mandy he knew. The raven-haired man frowned as he tried to pull his arm away, but she refused to let it go.

"What are you doing, Mandy?"

"Answer me first. Where are you going?" She asked back coldly. Kanda was silent for a moment, showing no signs of emotions on his face. The sky was slowly darkening in the late evening, and as minutes slowly went by, many people passed by them, crossing the roads at the traffic junction. His dark sapphire eyes were fixated onto her, giving her an extremely chilling feeling.

"I'm here for a walk," He replied in a monotone voice, even though he knew that his hotel was directly at the opposite direction of where he was heading. He did not know that he could lie so well at this kind of situation, and he had no idea why he was lying to Mandy about this.

"A walk?" She asked him.

"Yes," He answered her, showing a straight face.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"You are lying."

Sapphire eyes widened slightly at the words she used. Mandy loosened her grip on his arm as she stepped closer to him, so near that he could smell her light lavender perfume scent which she always sprayed at her neck and on her wrists.

"You...are going to find him, isn't it?"

"I don't know what you are talking about. I have to go." The raven-haired man turned and was about to cross the road when she screamed out loud.

"That guy in the drawing!"

Kanda halted in his footsteps, his eyes widening in shock. The green pedestrian traffic light continued to flash brightly at his face, before it turned red. The street lights were switched on soon after, and vehicles began to drive on the roads.

"His name is...Allen right? Are you going to find him now?"

Kanda wanted to deny it, but realised that he couldn't. He couldn't find any words to rebuke back the question that she asked.

He just stood there in silence, and as he felt a tug at his arm, Kanda turned around, only to see Mandy reaching out to him, her hands wrapping around his neck tightly as she closed in and kissed him on his lips.

* * *

The silver-haired teen rushed down the stairs and sped out into the streets, looking around in desperation. Allen then took off in whatever direction he presumed was the direction where Kanda would be, his feet sprinting at a flying speed, his arms dodging quickly at the people in his way, and his heart pounding extremely fast like never before. He could not even tell where he exactly was, and what he exactly was doing. After procrastinating and contemplating to himself countless times on how he should look upon the relationship between him and Kanda, and the advices he received from his friends, he knew he couldn't just let this go. Not when he got an exact answer from Kanda who was reacting in ways he did not expect him to be.

Allen stopped at the parade square _― _the place where he was during Christmas Eve, the place where Kanda was, the place where the raven-haired man drew a picture of him. Memories of all the things that happened on that day _―_ from the bus breaking down to spending a night at a hotel where Kanda was currently living_ ― _flashed in his mind repeatedly.

He crossed the roads hurriedly, his eyes darting every corners of the streets, so afraid that he would miss the raven-haired man if he wasn't cautious enough. Allen gasped as his foot slipped on the thin ice, causing him to fall and sprain his ankle slightly. He gritted his teeth as he forced himself up to his feet and continued on with the search, ignoring the pain which meant nothing to him. Even though only few minutes had passed, to him, it felt as though a decade had gone by, and he was afraid that when he woke up from this dream, Kanda would not be here anymore...

Suddenly, something familiar caught his eye. He skidded to a halt, spotting a tall figure who looked like Kanda. Allen walked closer, seeing that the raven-haired man wasn't alone. He was holding someone in such an intimate way, his face hidden behind his fluttering raven hair locks, entangled together with hair strands of deep crimson red similar to the colour of a maple leaf. His breath hitched, and he thought that the person might be Lavi by chance, but Lavi's hair was never this long, and his body was never this skinny and small-built.

Lavi was never shorter than Kanda.

Silver eyes slowly widened as the two beings slowly separated, still leaning close to each other. His heart slowed down, painful with each beat, and the strong determination to find the raven-haired man slowly diminished into nothing.

_I hope that you won't do something which will make you regret for the rest of your life. _

Does it even matter now?

"...Moyashi?" Kanda was staring at him with wide eyes. The girl beside him turned, and Allen instantly knew who she was. It hurt, and even though he swore to himself so many times to forget him, it still hurt so badly, as though thousands of needles were piercing through his heart mercilessly, again and again and again. His cold body shook violently, his breath choked at his windpipe, and tears began to fall. No matter how hard he tried to clean them off, the tears wouldn't stop. That excruciating feeling he got wouldn't stop, breaking his broken heart again and again.

Allen turned and walked away. He had to pretend that everything was alright; that nothing serious had happened. The silver-haired teen swallowed bitterly as he wiped off his tears, his pace slowly increasing. Before he realised it, he found himself running as fast as he could.

"Moyashi!" Kanda was about to run after him when he was pulled back by a hand which refused to let go. He turned and stared at the auburn-haired girl who shook her head.

"Please don't go."

"Mandy_―_"

"I like you."

Sapphire eyes slowly widened in astonishment at the sudden confession. That pair of maroon eyes was looking at him pleadingly, and he knew that what she meant was not to go after Allen. Kanda frowned, turning back to the direction where Allen left. That familiar sweet scent was becoming fainter each second, and his shadow was getting further and further away from his reach. He stared at his fading silhouette, his mind going back to that night, the last day in the Order before they went separate ways.

_"So...Kanda?"  
_

_"What?" _

_"Where are you heading from tomorrow onwards?"_

_"Not sure. Probably returning back to Japan."_

_"I see. That's good! You must have missed your hometown a lot right? After all, you have not gone back for years."_

_"No." _

_"I see." _

_"Why are you acting so strange today, Moyashi?"_

_"I...don't know."_

Allen left, and he was slowly realising what love really was.

_"Sorry."_

Her eyes widened in shock as Kanda's wrist was slowly slipping off her hand. She could feel the soft brush of his warm fingers tickling against her skin, before the warmth completely disappeared and her hand slowly turning numb and cold once again. Mandy looked up at Kanda who was heading off to the direction where the silver-haired teen went to. Her hand wanted to reach out and stop him again, but it halted mid-air, no longer able to move. She knew that it would be the last time she would see him again here in London, and the very last time she could love him. Although he did not say it, she knew that he did not love him but someone else. Someone else, and not her...

"Kanda..."

Kanda slowly stopped at the traffic light, seconds before it turned green. He turned back and stared at her. He did not know what to say to her, whether it was for comforting her for not able to return back her feelings, or simply to bid farewell to her since this would probably the last time he would see her again till they met for work in the office in Canada. He lowered his head for a moment, and as the traffic light for the pedestrian turned green, the raven-haired man looked up at her and said the word both of them least expected to hear from each other. And when he said that word, he somehow understood how Allen felt at that night when he left.

"Sorry."

He turned and left. She just stood at her position, watching his silhouette solemnly as his shadow gradually disappeared into the darkness. The traffic light flashed for a few seconds, before it turned red again. Mandy felt her cold lips, wishing that his warmth and that fluttering sensation when they kissed were still there, but unfortunately, it was long gone, at that moment when he let go of her hand. Her hands touched her face as warm tears started falling down her cheeks, drowning her heart and her emotions.

* * *

Allen ran across streets, not daring to turn back and see whether Kanda was catching up to him or not. Part of him wished that the raven-haired man was still behind him, part of him feared that if Kanda was able to reach him, he might not be able to push away his feelings for him. After what he had seen just now, he did not want to have a second heartbreak. The silver-haired teen sprinted across crowds of people in town, and as he reached a corner of the street, he let out a gasp as an incoming bicycle rammed hardly onto the side of his right shoulder, causing him to slip and fall onto the cold ground.

"Are you alright?" The young cyclist came down his bike to check on him. Allen winced in pain as he gripped his shoulder and stood up to his feet. His knee was bruised slightly, but this was not the time to worry about his injuries. He shook his head to tell him that he was alright, and before the cyclist could say anything, he ran off again, not wanting Kanda to find him when he was in such pathetic state. His nose then caught a light yet familiar scent of jasmine, and Allen instantly knew who he was.

"Moyashi! Oi, wait up! Moyashi!" Kanda shouted, reaching out and grabbing his arm. Allen pulled his hand away and continued to run. He spotted an approaching bus and was about to board it when a hand grabbed his wrist tightly and pulled him forcefully to an empty alley. The both of them came to a stop, and as Kanda finally released his hold, Allen yanked his wrist away and glared hardly at him.

"What do you think you are doing?"

"It's because you are running away from me," Kanda replied back with a soft hiss.

"Well, do I have a choice?" Allen scoffed loudly in sarcasm. "And don't be mistaken. I ran because you are chasing me."

"Then why did you run when you saw me?" Kanda demanded, his eyes piercing at him. Allen frowned, not understanding what he was angry for when he should be the one who was infuriated.

"I do not want to disturb the two of you together," The silver-haired teen answered coolly, not having the mood to explain further.

"Is it really like that?" Kanda asked, grabbing his arm again as he pulled him closer. Silver eyes widened slightly at the extreme closeness between the two of them and the heat which was slowly invading his body. He stared in his sapphire eyes which looked so cold and yet, he seems to be able to see some emotions reflected in them. As that intoxicating scent of his began to fill the air, Allen found himself looking away, hard to focus on the raven-haired man.

"...Yes."

Kanda leaned even closer.

"Is it?"

Silver eyes stared at the ground, biting his lips to hold back a moan when his breathy whispers blew lightly at his ear. He wished that the other would not hear his heartbeats which was pounding loudly inside his chest right now. He did not expect Kanda to be making the direct moves, since that blockhead did not reach much when he confessed to him, and now, he was not used to this side of Kanda all of a sudden.

"You are lying."

Allen frowned as he stared at him, feeling greatly absurd and completely stupefied at his blunt words and the arrogant way when he said them. What did he expect him to say? That he felt so jealous and so heartbroken when he saw him kissing another girl in front of his very eyes? This was just plain ridiculous.

"Do I have any reason to lie?"

"Because you like me."

"Don't you _even _say that," The silver-haired teen snarled angrily, his glare hardening as silver eyes snapped up and pierced at the raven-haired man with rage. "Don't you even say that in front of me. I do not like you anymore. _Not_ anymore." He hated how Kanda said that sentence so casually when he completely could not understand just how significant and heavy the meaning of this sentence was. Not to mention that he did not like him at all!

"Is it?" Kanda said with a soft chuckle, his beautiful sapphire eyes peering at him with mixed emotions he couldn't identify. That low yet melodious voice rumbled deeply inside his ears, and Allen wished that Kanda could just laugh a little more, to hear more of his deep baritone voice. The raven-haired man then approached him slowly, and Allen found himself stepping back at the same time, their gazes never broke contact with each other.

"If you do not like me, you would not blush madly like a girl when you see me."

"Wh___―_! I don't_―_!" Allen retorted, his face flushing a rosy red at that direct remark, but was cut off as Kanda continued.

"If you do not like me, you would not kiss me back, no matter how I force you to do so," Kanda said, pushing the beansprout to a dead end as he slammed his hands on the wall, trapping him in place. Allen fidgeted slightly in his position, before the silver-haired teen stared at him in silence.

"If you do not like me..." His rich baritone voice trailed off lightly as Kanda leaned in, his warm breath lingering just centimetres away from his very own lips. "...you would not run away when you see me."

The wind blew across their faces, tangling up both of their hair strands together as they slowly covered their faces from view. His hand slowly reached out to the other, his fingers entangled with his raven hair strands as he touched his face lightly. It felt so cold and yet so...warm. Silver eyes stared into sapphire eyes deeply in silence, and as he felt the other leaning even closer to him, till their bodies were literally onto each other, his eyes slowly fluttered close as he felt something warm and familiar pressing softly on his lips. His mouth parted slightly, allowing the tongue of the other to slip into his wet cavern. His warmth and fiery heat gradually enveloped him whole, and Allen moaned into this gentle and sensual kiss which numbed his senses completely. The pain and agony he experienced was long forgotten, and right now, he just wanted this to continue.

After a while, their lips parted, both of them breathing heavily from the kiss. Allen could feel that his heart was about to burst. His hazy eyes looked up blankly at sapphire eyes which always never failed to give a slight jolt in his emotions.

"I ask you again. Do you like me, Allen?"

His eyes closed, tears streaming down his face. His lips parted, but the words he wanted to say were stuck at his throat. Allen stifled out a silent sob as he leaned lightly against his broad chest, his hands clutching onto his shoulders tightly. Kanda said nothing and just remained there, his existence acting as a comfort for the beansprout as Allen continued to cry.

* * *

As the clock tower of Big Ben hit nine in the peaceful night of London, the two of them were sitting outside a cafe, enjoying the night view and a warm cup of latte each in their hand. Allen was stirring his beverage in slight boredom while Kanda was sipping his latte in small mouthfuls, before he put the cup down and began to check for any messages which he might have missed in the evening.

"Kanda, are you leaving on the 28th?" Allen asked, peering at the raven-haired man in slight curiosity.

"Mmhm." Kanda voiced out a silent reply as he continued to stare at his phone, reading the latest message which was sent from his boss in Canada. Allen frowned at his indifferent attitude and decided to focus on drinking his coffee for now. That baKanda had totally no idea just how saddened he was when he heard that he was going back to Canada in two days time. At the thought of it, he gave a long pout and took up his cup, intending to gulp down the beverage in one shot, only to choke and cough everything out as the hot beverage scortched his tongue and lips.

"Are you dumb or what?" Kanda muttered as he put down his phone and patted his back, taking a piece of tissue and began cleaning the corners of his mouth. Allen stared at him for a moment, studying his face features and his hair strands which he badly wanted to fondle with. Realising that he stared too much, the silver-haired teen looked away and snatched the tissue from his hand to clean his lips himself. Kanda smirked and let out a light chuckle, before he took up his phone and continued typing his message.

Allen sat there, pondering on how he should spend the next two days with Kanda before he departed for Canada. He realised that they hadn't spend much time together even though so many things had happened between the two of them. He glanced at the raven-haired man who was gazing at the roads, deep in his thoughts. After missing so many chances, he was not going to let him go.

Kanda blinked, feeling something warm touching his hand. He turned and stared at Allen in slight bewilderment.

"Let's have a whole day out to ourselves tomorrow, Kanda!" Allen said with a smile on his face. Kanda just stared at him in silence. The silver-haired teen then redrew his hand and took the cup of coffee with both hands, peering at the night sky filled with small stars twinkling beautifully.

"I realise that we have missed so many chances. We fought, quarrelled, and there were so many misunderstandings between us. Now, I want to cherish the moments I have with you, until you return to Canada."

"Hmm, okay," Kanda replied. Allen blinked and stared at him in slight astonishment, not believing that this baKanda could just agree so readily. The raven-haired man noticed that dumbfounded look on that beansprout's face and smirked in amusement.

"You don't want to? I'm fine with that as well..."

"Of course we have to go!" Allen rebuked quickly. "I will plan the schedule, so you just have to meet me at..." He paused for a moment, pondering. "...meet me at the Christmas tree in the park where we first met."

The park which held so many memories of the both of them when they first met after three years. He changed a lot, while Allen seems to look the same. The only thing that changed was their relationship, and now...

"I meet you there at eight in the morning?"

"Fine with me."

Allen grimaced slightly at the cold wind which blew directly at his face. Kanda's hair fluttered lightly in the air, before they slowly fell onto his shoulders. A smile slowly formed at his lips as the silver-haired teen touched his soft strands of his raven hair, gaining the attention of the other. Silver eyes were half-lidded as he leaned towards the raven-haired man.

"Tell me, Kanda. What do you like of me?" He whispered.

Sapphire eyes widened, and though the lights were dimmed and he couldn't really see what expression Kanda was making, but he knew that the raven-haired man was definitely embarrassed from his words. Allen smirked in triumphant.

"Che. I don't know what you are talking about," Kanda muttered as he stood up and walked out of the cafe. Allen just stared at his shadow and chuckled to himself. He finished up his latte, before he put the cup down on the wooden table and got up, running after the raven-haired man.

"Wait for me, Kanda!"

Even though Kanda did not say it, Allen somehow knew what the answer would be.

* * *

_**Kotodama:**_ The Japanese belief that mystical powers dwell in words and names. English translations include "soul of language", "spirit of language", "power of language", "power word", "magic word", and "sacred sound". The notion of _kotodama _presupposes that sounds can magically affect objects, and that ritual word usages can influence our environment, body, mind and soul. ―_Wikipedia_

Hello! Really sorry for the late update. I have to do a major edit for this chapter after I came back from Korea (btw, this place is simply awesome! Go there if you have the time!).

As you all have noticed, there are many recollections in _italics_ in this chapter which are mostly in Kanda's POV, showing how he came to a conclusion on how he was going to face Allen's feelings. Most recollections are in the chapters of Colourful Moments, while a part of his recollections is based off the prequel story 'Before Dawn' when Mandy was stopping Kanda from going to Allen. Please read it again if you are not sure what the conversation was about.

The places in London mentioned in the story chapters are researches that I did from the Internet. If they are not correct, please feel free to tell me so that I can edit it.

Thank you so much for helping me to achieve 100 reviews for this story! Thank you so much, Hanashi o suru, who is the 100th reviewer of this story! I'm so grateful and happy that so many readers/reviewers are still supporting my story.

Btw, I have updated my profile, so if you want to find out more about me, please visit my profile page. I have also changed my avatar as well. It's Allen in his new dark-red Exorcist uniform! *kyaaa! Screams like a fangirl* Kanda is my all-time favourite character in DGM, but I love Allen all the same, especially when he's fated to be Kanda's... *cough cough*

Okay, I shall stop now. Please review and tell me how you feel about this chapter? I hope I can achieve 15 - 20 reviews for this chapter, since Kanda finally admitted his feelings for Allen! Hope you guys help me achieve this goal :)

I have also updated a brand new Alternate Universe story on Yullen called 'Utopia Romance', so please read it if you have the time and support it! Thank you so much once again! :D

**SingingBlues**


	14. Those Years

**Chapter 14: Those Years**

_::Colourful Moments::_

"_You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have."―Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook _

* * *

At exactly six-thirty in the early morning, the alarm clock rang loudly throughout the whole room, attempting to wake up its owner who was still hidden deep inside the thick covers on the bed. Soft, drowned groans were heard as there were some shuffling inside the covers, before it stopped and everything went still. The alarm clock continued to blare, its shrieking sounds piercing through the surrounding, showing no mercy for the owner. The covers were thrown aside, revealing a sleepy and slightly grumpy Allen Walker disturbed from his beauty sleep. His loose pajamas slid off his left shoulder slightly, showing his fair and smooth skin with firm trained muscles from his shoulder blade. His silvery hair strands were obviously dishevelled from the tosses and turns in the night, spilling all over his face. He let out a loud yawn, rubbing his cheeks as silver eyes blinked, looking ahead. Allen then turned and glared at the annoying alarm clock, before he reached out and slammed it down forcefully.

He stretched out his arms and legs fully, getting out of bed and slipping his warm feet into his favourite pair of white bear slippers. The silver-haired teen slowly walked towards the bathroom, grabbing a fresh piece of towel as he turned on the water tap and began to wash up. Splashing clear water onto his face, he felt more awake and ready to start his brand new day.

A new day to spend together with Kanda.

Allen couldn't help but smile to himself whenever he was thinking of that. He shook his head vigourously and proceeded to clean his face, before he stepped out of the bathroom. He opened his cupboard, wondering what he should wear for this great day. The silver-haired teen rampaged the whole cupboard, throwing out whatever clothes he could wear, his mind busily forming images and matching up the clothes suitable to wear. After several considerations, he decided to wear his light grey sweater with an outline of white alongside the clothing and a hood behind, a dark-blue denim jeans with a brown belt to accompany the pants. For the pullover, he would be wearing a silver-coloured windbreaker. Allen grinned in satisfaction as he put the clothes he chose on his bed, putting the rest of them back into his cupboard.

The clock hit seven in the morning. The sky was lit up with a diffused background of Aurora, signalling the beginning of dawn. He walked down the stairs to the living room, not surprised that the whole apartment was still deadly silent with no one around. Lenalee normally woke up at eight, while Komui was later than that. Allen took out four pieces of bread and walked into the kitchen, putting them into the toaster. He then opened the refrigerator and took out the large carton of milk, pouring the cold white liquid into an empty glass before putting the carton back into the fridge. The silver-haired teen smiled, humming a soft tune at his lips as he spun around the place, preparing his breakfast in high spirits.

After a few minutes, there was a snapping sound as the four pieces of bread, toasted into a beautiful golden crisp, popped out of the toaster. Allen put them down onto a plate and took it out to the dining table, placing it beside his glass of milk. Taking the newspaper by the door, he walked to the table and sat down, taking one piece of bread and bit it by his lips, his eyes reading the headlines. Watching the time at the same time, Allen drank his milk in large gulps as he reached out for his second piece of bread.

The clock ticked seven-thirty. Allen stood up, taking the plate filled with only crumbs and the empty glass into the kitchen sink. He then went up the stairs and walked back to his room. The silver-haired teen looked at himself in the long wooden mirror situated at the corner, unbuttoning his shirt as it slowly slipped down onto the floor, showing his firm torsos and lower curvy hips trained from days when he was an Exorcist. He slipped his grey sweater onto himself, straightening his shoulders as he pulled the clothing down to his waist. Allen took off his pants and threw them onto his bed, before wearing his tight denim jeans which fit his slender hips so perfectly. After strapping his belt in place, Allen started styling up his hair with gel, and wore some accessories of necklace and bracelets onto himself.

His eyes caught something lying on the table. Allen peered closely, seeing a pair of brown gloves which were given to him as a Christmas gift, though he did not know who the sender was. The silver-haired teen felt the soft velvet of the leather and slipped them into his hands. Wearing his windbreaker over himself, he grabbed his light-brown sling bag and went out of his room, walking down the stairs and towards the door. He then wore his socks and slipped his feet into his long black boots, before he opened the door and walked out into the cold.

The clock hit seven forty-five in the morning. Allen locked the door of the apartment and headed to the park which was just a few blocks away. He slipped his hands into the tight pockets, grinning madly to himself at the thought of seeing Kanda for the whole day. Recalling that moment when Kanda chased him all the way through the entire street, indirectly telling him his feelings and the sensual kiss that they shared wasn't helping either. The silver-haired teen laughed softly, skipping along the streets as he ignored the weird stares by other people, the sweet memories continuing to play in his head.

Allen entered the park, enjoying the peaceful view of the place filled with pines and oaks coated with the snow. There was still no one around, only him walking on the stone pavement leading to the Christmas tree situated in the middle. Reaching his destination, silver eyes peered at the front, his heart beating in anticipation on whether the raven-haired man would be there. A pang of nervousness suddenly invaded him, and he swallowed, wondering what to say when he met him later.

One more bend, and he would see him...

Allen paused in his steps, peering at the clear blue sky as the morning breeze rang melodiously throughout the air. He could see the Christmas tree just right across him. The silver-haired teen began to walk forward, step by step, and as he slowly count down inside his head, he turned to the right, seeing the large pine tree filled with pretty shimmering decorations. And there, he spotted a raven-haired man standing beside it, his hands tucked in the pockets of his long black coat as he leaned lightly against the wall.

That sight took his whole breath away. Kanda had let his hair down, spilling down his broad shoulders. His dark-brown sling bag and his camera which was attached with a long thick strap were hung at his right shoulder. His shades were above his head, covered partially by his fringe. The said man wore a pair of tight denim jeans and leather boots tied up in a tight yet beautiful butterfly knots. A bright white scarf was wrapped loosely around his neck, fluttering rhythmically with the wind. His lips were slightly parted, and as small vapours of his breaths escaped, Allen gulped, feeling a sudden heat washing over him. He slowly paced towards Kanda.

"Yo, Moyashi," Kanda greeted him in a low yet enticing voice, vibrating deep inside his ears.

"It's Allen," Allen corrected with a slight huff. After so many years that arrogant bastard still had the excuse to forget how to call him?

"I know," Kanda murmured with a small smirk. His hand reached out, and silver eyes widened as the raven-haired man grabbed his arm and pulled him closer to his side, his head leaning against his cheeks as he slowly sniffed in his addictive scent he carried along. Allen blinked and squirmed in slight awkwardness, not knowing how to react. Seconds later, Kanda released his hold and stepped back, and Allen felt a slight disappointment at his action, but he shook his head vigourously to snap out of this delusion. They had much, much, much more important things to do today.

"So where are we going, Moyashi?" He asked.

"Hmm..." Allen took out his planner that he had done last night. Kanda took a peek at the paper in his hands, curious on the events lined up for the outing.

"Before we are doing this, isn't it logical to settle our breakfast first?" The raven-haired man asked softly, leaning at his shoulders as he peered at him.

"Y-Yeah, we have to eat...wait, I have considered that in my schedule, Kanda!" Allen shot him a stare, telling him inwardly that his plan was just perfect. Seeing his obstinate expression which looked more like a cute pout, Kanda chuckled in amusement.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go."

Silver eyes narrowed at the sudden change in his character. Kanda somehow was behaving different than before. He could not explain what it was, but he wasn't someone who had the habit of leaning close to him. At that particular moment when Kanda closed in to him, he could literally feel his warm breaths blowing by his cheeks and a deep, vibrating inhaling sound from his throat as he breathed in his scent. Allen blinked, feeling his face heating up fast.

"Why are you still standing there like a dummy, Moyashi?" Kanda shouted from a few metres away. The jasmine scent gradually faded away, going away together with that person.

"I told you that my name is Allen, not Moyashi!" Allen yelled back as he rushed up to the raven-haired man.

* * *

_::Colourful Moments::_

"_Everytime you smile, I smile  
And everytime you shine, I'll shine for you."―Taylor Swift_

* * *

_9 am, Clear_

They were in a cafe_―_the same cafe which they visited last night. Somehow, the soft and tranquil atmosphere here felt rather nostalgic, even though they were here in less than 24 hours. Kanda ordered a cup of cappuccino and a sandwich, which Allen pondered how the raven-haired man got used to eating western food and leaving his favourite Japanese dishes. Silver eyes peered at him in a curious gaze, trying to figure out everything and get into that person's thoughts, but whenever he met that pair of sapphire eyes, he found himself looking away instead. Allen hissed softly in slight frustration. Just what made him so anxious whenever he was looking at Kanda?

That guy was famous for being a stubborn mule. No matter how Jerry advertised his delicacies every time he came to the cafeteria of the Order, Kanda would not hesitate to reject his every offer and order himself a plate of soba and a cup of green tea instead. No one ever succeeded in getting him to eat other cuisines. The former swordsman liked nothing other than his sword, and his favourite soba and green tea. Allen had once thought that it was because of his past in his hometown, but after finding out the truth later, he knew that the last place that the raven-haired man wanted to go was Japan.

He took his cup of hot chocolate and drank it, tasting the creamy sweet beverage at his tongue, swirling deep within his caverns before he swallowed it down his throat. Kanda was now engrossed in the newspapers in his hands. Allen slowly studied his stern face features and the signature frown at his forehead.

Just how much had changed in him? He knew Kanda wouldn't continue practising in his sword skills when the Order was disbanded. The time had changed, and their lives were gradually changing. What made him change his habits and his lifestyle? Who...influenced him in changing his life? The silver-haired teen couldn't help but think back to that red-haired girl who could step into Kanda's life so easily, while it took him so many years to open his inner barriers and allow him inside...

"Moyashi?"

Allen blinked, looking up at Kanda who was staring at him.

"No, I'm just...thinking that so much things have changed through the years."

Kanda raised an eyebrow at his sentence. Allen showed a faint smile as he peered at his beverage.

"You hardly touch any food except your Japanese soba and green tea in the past, and now, you are drinking English cappuccino in front of me. Somehow, I couldn't get used to it..."

Before Allen could finish his sentence, he felt himself being pulled over as a warm hand descended onto the corner of his lips, wiping away the cream from the cream puffs he was currently eating. Silver eyes widened as Kanda licked away the white cream at his index finger and stared at him with soft, seductive eyes which made his heart skip a beat.

"For a person who invited me out first, I do not understand why you wouldn't get used to this side of me," He whispered. Allen blinked hardly, his mind switching off in an instant. Or rather, everything was completely wiped out of his mind, like the strong Trojan horse virus attacking a computer, deleting every content in its way. His heat was literally smoldering his hand, and it might be because of that his face was flushing darkly in response. The silver-haired teen swallowed thickly, finding himself at a loss for words.

Kanda licked the remaining sweet cream off his lips, letting go of him as Allen sank back onto his seat. The slow classical music continued to play throughout the cafe, ringing softly at his ears as it slowly calmed down his heartbeats. Allen shook his head, trying to snap himself out of the pervy thoughts coming to him when Kanda did that particular action. He bit a small bite of the cream puff, staring at him in silence. Kanda just continued enjoying his breakfast as he continued to read his newspaper.

He remembered that Kanda hated sweets.

Allen peered at the surface of the hot chocolate which was still swirling after he stirred it. How much had he missed ever since they went separate ways three years ago? He knew that something must have changed, but he had never thought that he would change _this much_. He had always wanted to get to know Kanda better.

But was a day enough? Enough to let him grasp on everything about the Kanda Yuu he was seeing now?

After breakfast, they were going to take a bus to Buckingham Palace to catch the marching ceremony whereby the royal guards would be changing their shifts at 11am. Allen was walking briskly towards the bus stop, worried that they would miss the public bus and be late for the ceremony. Kanda was pacing behind leisurely, enjoying the windy weather and the fresh morning air. Seeing that the raven-haired man was not beside him, the silver-haired teen turned around and stared at him in slight annoyance.

"Can you hurry up! It's already 9.30am!" Allen screamed out, his voice slightly drowned by the wind.

Kanda ignored him and stopped, taking out his camera to snap a picture of London's scenery and a guy leaning against the tree, reading a newspaper in his hands.

"Kanda!"

The raven-haired man grunted in irritation as he put down his camera and began to walk towards him. Allen was frowning deeply in displeasure, his cheeks puffed up so much that it looked like a long pout. Kanda chuckled as he squeezed his shoulders tightly. The silver-haired teen let out a sigh, before he smiled at him. As they walked together, their hands brushed lightly past each other, sending little sparks of electricity up their spines. Silver eyes looked up, seeing his flying strands of raven hair and his black coat fluttering together with the breeze.

"The bus, Kanda! The bus!"

They sprinted to the bus stop as fast as they could, squeezing together with the crowd at the front of the bus. There was only one available seat behind, and Allen decided that he would rather stand together with Kanda, but Kanda pushed him down firmly without a second thought, and the silver-haired teen found himself sitting on it, feeling his heat radiating towards him as the bus started its journey. Allen peered out of the window, seeing many streets and places which passed by in a flash. He glanced at Kanda, wondering whether the time today would also pass by within a flash, just like this bus which would eventually reach its final destination.

What was their final destination? Did they even have one in the beginning?

Allen blinked and stared at the random graffiti written at the back of the seat, feeling heavy tears forming at his eyes. He bent down, trying to calm his emotions down. Now was not the time to cry over their eventual departure.

"Moyashi?"

He felt a hand on his shoulder which felt so soothing and comforting. Allen looked up at Kanda who was giving him a look of slight concern. He just smiled back in silence.

After about 30 minutes, the bus reached the front of Buckingham Palace. They could see a large crowd at the front gates, waiting for the ceremony to start. Both of them alighted the bus, walking on the rough pavement as they looked for space to view the ceremony more clearly. As Allen was busily looking out for any spaces, he felt something grabbing his arm and taking him away. Silver eyes looked up at the raven-haired man who led him to a higher ground just few steps away from the palace, his hands pulling him up carefully until he stood beside him. Allen looked down, his eyes slowly widening at the great view which was far better than standing on the ground and having to squeeze with the people counted at least hundreds.

"Oh my God..." Allen whispered loudly, feeling the rush of the wind from their positions. Kanda snapped some pictures of the palace and the front gates.

"Don't fall, Moyashi."

"I will not fall! And my name is Allen!" Allen snapped back, though he recognised his tone that Kanda was just teasing him. He sat down at the edge, watching the palace from afar as he waited. Kanda soon sat beside him, waiting as well. It was within minutes, and he wondered how fast the time would pass by.

The silver-haired teen heard the loud sounds of the drum beats, and the ceremony soon began. The gates slowly opened, and with the roar of applause coming from the audience, the soldiers marched out of the palace, their heads up high and their feet moving in an even rhythm with their black rifles in their hands. Their smart uniforms fluttered lightly as they turned in unison, following the thundering beats of the military band. Loud cheers echoed in the air, and Kanda took up his camera, snapping down everything quickly within seconds. Allen silently watched the performance, swinging his legs as he enjoyed the solid beats of the military song etched deeply inside his memory.

It was a short one, and the march ended after fifteen minutes. Allen wanted to take a photo with the soldier, but he hesitated slightly, knowing that they did not have the time. If he had to choose between the photo and Kanda, he would choose Kanda without hesitation.

"Let's go to the next destination, Kanda!" He shouted, jumping down onto the dirty ground as he looked forward to proceed to the next venue.

"I want to take a photo with the soldier."

Allen flinched, his eyes widening slightly as he turned and stared at the raven-haired man. Kanda turned around and walked towards the nearest soldier on guard.

"Hurry up, Moyashi. You have to help me."

Allen remained there for a moment. He then went over to where Kanda was, taking the camera from him. The silver-haired teen slowly stepped back, positioning himself where he could take a best shot. He stared at the small screen, and as he started counting, his eyes slowly widened in slight astonishment at noticing the small smile on the raven-haired man's face. As far as he knew, Kanda hardly smiled. No, he did not even smile once in his whole life since he met him till now. Though it was only for the photo, it felt as though the smile was indirectly meant for him to see. His heart thumped heavily at this feeling, not able to avert his gaze away. He should be feeling ecstatic, yet this was the first time, and would also be the last time he would see it. How ironic was that? What exactly was Kanda trying to tell him by showing this kind of face expression?

Allen pressed the button, taking down the picture. Kanda then came over and shove him towards the same soldier.

"K-Kanda...!" He gasped, stumbling in his steps.

"Stand properly, or else I can't take it!" Kanda yelled. Allen blinked in slight astonishment, finding no words to answer back to him. He slowly approached the soldier and stood beside him, facing the raven-haired man as he was preparing to take a photo of him. As Kanda counted from one to three, he let out a small, tentative smile, before a snap of the camera was heard. Allen then walked out of the crowd and joined Kanda who was waiting for him at the roadside.

"How do you find the performance?"

"Hmm, interesting. First time seeing it," Kanda replied. Allen smiled, glad that he was enjoying himself. This was what his main aim was. As long as he was happy, he had nothing to wish for.

"Let's go to the next place."

They went over to the House of Parliament, the main London residence of the Kings and Queens of Britain. Kanda observed the structure of the building closely, his camera snapping continuously at a particular angle of the place he wanted to take down. Allen followed behind him, watching the hardworking side of him which he would never fail to see whenever the raven-haired man was absorbed in his own thing. He remembered back when Kanda was training in the Order, his eyes blindfolded as he held his sword tightly, trying to locate where the target was. At that time, he was also showing the same expression he had now, too focused on what he was doing that he did not even notice that he was always here, watching him from a distance away.

They turned at a corner, reaching deeper inside the place. Kanda took out a notebook and pen, writing something down quickly. Allen peered at him in silence, stepping on his footsteps which had left a mark on the soft, snowy ground. Many thoughts came to his mind. Why did Kanda choose to chase after him instead of staying at her side? What did he exactly mean when he asked him again whether he liked him? What made the raven-haired man agree to go out with him today? But no matter what the reasons were, Kanda was here with him, and he was going to make use of this day to make many memories with him, to replace the time that was lost years ago when they were still Exorcists.

"Found new ideas for your project?" Allen asked out of a sudden. Kanda stopped and stared at him for a moment. He then put down his pen and continued walking.

"Yeah."

It was a simple question with a short answer in return. He knew Kanda wasn't good in conversations, and he was doing his work, thus he shouldn't disturb him for now. But for some reasons, Allen felt like talking to him more frequently, to hear his voice as much as he could till the next day of his departure, such that when he left this place, he would not have any regret. He could have asked him to stay, but...

"Moyashi?" The silver-haired teen turned and faced Kanda who was frowning slightly. He smiled.

"No, it's nothing."

* * *

_::Colourful Moments::_

"_My soul will find yours."―Jude Deveraux, A Knight in Shining Armor _

* * *

_12 Noon, Sunny_

They reached to Oxford Street, known as the heart of London shopping whereby there had more than 300 shops, designer outlets and landmark stores. Even at the start of the afternoon, the street was already bustling with people of all ages, coming here to buy the clothes and fashion of their liking. Being here with Lenalee once, Allen showed Kanda around, and they stopped whenever they spotted something interesting. The raven-haired man looked around the surroundings and took pictures of the crowds of people and the famous street in London which everyone would go.

"Kanda, come in and take a look!" Allen called out. Kanda turned and went to him, staring at the shelves of denim jeans which were currently on sale. The silver-haired teen tapped his chin as he glanced at the jeans, taking a black and light-blue jeans and handing them to him.

"Go and try, see which one fits you!" Allen said. Kanda blinked for a while, before he went to the fitting room to try them on. He then looked around, seeing if there were anything which suited the raven-haired man's taste. He doubted that Kanda knew anything about fashion, and from his busy schedule, he believed that he hardly had time to shop as well. It would be a good time to take him for a shopping trip before he went back. The silver-haired teen paced through the rows of clothes, taking out a dark-blue windbreaker as he inspected it fully.

"This one looks good on that boyfriend of yours."

Allen looked up at the shop owner in slight confusion. Silver eyes widened in realisation as he looked away, blushing fiercely in embarrassment.

"I..."

"He's a fine man you've got. But you look rather depressed. Anything happen between the both of you?"

Allen was silent, not knowing what to answer. It was past noon, and before he knew it, half of the day was gone. For the past three years holding back his feelings, it had been hell, but when they were together, time flew by quickly, so fast that he couldn't catch up to grasp on what was happening.

"Oi, Moyashi." He turned to Kanda who had come out. He chose the black jeans, and after they paid the money, they walked out of the store, staring at the street which stretched far down to the other end. Both of them continued their way, seeing many different types of trendy outfits and shoes to pair with. Something caught his eye as Allen ran over to the glass pane, seeing TOMS shoes displayed outside. He loved the soft and comfy material of the shoes, and he had always wanted to buy a second pair after Lenalee gave one pair of dark-blue TOMS shoes to him as a present.

"What is it?" Kanda went to him and took a curious look.

"I want to buy shoes from this brand. Come," Allen said as the two of them walked inside the shoes store. The place was furnished with plain colours of white and light brown, and there were many shoe brands displayed, ranging from Sports brand Adidas, Nike and Reebok to casual wear such as Dr Martens. Allen took a red-coloured TOMS shoe and sat down to try, smiling as his right foot fit perfectly into the shoe.

"Is it nice, Kanda?" He asked, standing up as he paced around the store, admiring himself in the mirror.

"Looks good on you, Moyashi," Kanda answered, his eyes fixing on a pair of dark-blue TOMS shoe in slight curiosity. He took it down the shelf and walked over to a vacant seat, taking off his right boots as he tried it on. Surprisingly, it felt rather comfortable. He stood up and walked around, liking the light sensation he was getting when he was wearing it.

"Oh, you like this kind of shoes as well?" Allen asked as he took off the shoe and wore back his boots, asking the salesgirl beside him to get him a new pair. The raven-haired man walked back to his seat, tapping his foot lightly on the floor.

"It really fits you well," The silver-haired teen commented. Kanda nodded his head, continuing to try out the shoe.

Allen then had a sudden thought that the two of them would be going out on a date, wearing the same pairs of shoes walking on a random street, their hands clasping together. Silver eyes blinked as he blushed slightly at his imagination. He shot a glance at Kanda who was asking for a new pair of shoes. This idea was certainly interesting and definitely had room to explore, but...how could Kanda like wearing the same stuffs as him, like those couples he saw in most of the Korean dramas? It would be completely impossible. Allen sighed and shook his head, telling himself inwardly to stop thinking of such irrational fantasies which would not even happen.

They stepped out of the shop, realising that the crowd was getting thicker. Hordes of people were walking on the street, so close that he could not see any gaps between them. Allen breathed deeply, gripping the sides of his windbreaker in slight nervousness. After some time to recuperate and adjust himself when the war was over, his phobia had recovered fully, but he still felt a little uneasy facing so many people all of a sudden. The silver-haired teen bit his lip and was about to walk out when something grabbed his arm. Silver eyes widened slightly in astonishment, before he turned back, staring at Kanda.

"Don't force yourself if you cannot do it."

His eyes slowly widened. That calm gaze in his sapphire eyes brought him comfort and security, and he felt himself loosening much more than before. The raven-haired man then stepped down, grabbing his hand together with his.

"Kanda, what are you doing_―_" Allen gasped, following him behind as they entered the main street, joining in with the crowd. It would be bad if anyone spotted them holding hands, not to mention that they were both guys!

"Do you want to get lost?" Kanda asked. Allen blinked and pondered at his question for a moment, before his face snapped up to him in anger, fighting back the urge to yell at that arrogant bastard. Did that baKanda really think that _nothing _had changed in him for the past three years? How dare he ask him such a ridiculous question when he was only the visitor here and he lived here for three whole years!

"Who the hell will get lost here! I should worry whether you will lose your way, baKanda!" Allen hissed, glaring hardly at him. Kanda did not reply, focusing on where he was going as his hand gripped tightly onto his, as though there might be a split second that his hand would slip past him and the silver-haired teen would disappear completely. Allen stared at that hand which clasping over his, feeling slightly confused yet happy that the raven-haired man was somehow treating him so nicely for the first time in his life. A small smile appeared on his face as he peered at his back leading him on, and he wished that time would go slower, such that they could continue to walk on like this, till the end of the road.

For him, he would do anything.

The crowds were getting larger, and Allen could feel the closeness between him and the people around him. He gasped slightly, his heart beating faster as his body began to tremble out of its own, rejecting the fear he once had towards crowds of people who might be Akumas in disguise. The silver-haired teen swallowed, trying to block out the loud noises vibrating in his head messily. Several memories flashed inside his mind_―_walking on a street filled with strangers smiling and laughing, and some were Akumas as humans which were waiting for their chances to pounce upon their prey. He could not differentiate whether they were normal people or Akumas, and he couldn't ignore people's perceptions towards someone as hideous as him. He tried to conceal himself, but was scared that they might see through him easily.

Allen flinched at that memory, losing his concentration for a slight second. He gasped, feeling himself being pushed aside. The silver-haired teen stumbled slightly, his eyes widening in slight horror as his hand slowly slipping away from his grasp, vanishing into the crowds of people. The silver-haired teen slowly stopped in his footsteps, staring at the bustling scene in growing fear. He could no longer feel his comforting warmth, and his jasmine scent was getting fainter, away from him.

Kanda was not here. Kanda was gone.

Gone.

_There is no way you could notice us, Allen._

Silver eyes looked around frantically, his hands hugging his trembling body as he searched through the street.

_Even if you notice us, what can you do? Kill us? _

He bit his lip, breathing heavily as he rubbed his arms which was slowly turning cold.

_How can you even kill us? We are once humans, Allen. _

"No..." He muttered softly under his breath, feeling light-headed as his vision began to blur.

_Can you kill us, Allen?_

"Please..." Allen whispered softly, covering his ears as he tried shutting out the voices which continued to haunt him.

_Can you?_

"Please...don't let me go..."

Before his feet gave way, a hand reached to him and grabbed his wrist. Allen gasped, feeling himself moving forward on his own, straight to the familiar raven-haired man he knew so long. Silver eyes widened as his feet gradually stopped in front of him, his face hitting lightly onto his chest. He looked up at Kanda who was glaring darkly at him. Those memories clouding in his head and the voices gradually disappeared as soon as he saw him.

"Who asks you to let go, Moyashi?" He demanded angrily. Allen said nothing, his hands holding onto his arms tightly as his head leaned gently onto his black coat, breathing in his light scent that brought him calmness and reassurance. The silver-haired teen smiled lightly, closing his eyes as tears streamed down his face. He felt so glad that he was here; that he did not leave him behind. He was so glad that the nightmare he experienced years ago were finally over; that the Millennium Earl was defeated and the war was over; that he was able to be together with Kanda at the end.

"Stupid fool." He felt his face tilting upwards as a warm hand brushed gently on his cheek, wiping off the tear down his chin. Allen stared at his deep sea blue eyes which had never looked so mesmerising and stunning in his life. His heart throbbed hardly, and he fell in love with such a beautiful and elegant person all over again, like the cycle of waves which continued to crash onto the sandy shores repeatedly.

"Let's go. People are staring at us." Kanda stretched out his hand towards him. Allen smiled, reaching out as he took his hand. They continued on their journey, and this time, he was not going to let him go.

* * *

_::Colourful Moments::._

"_Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."―Nathaniel Hawthorne_

* * *

_2 pm, Cloudy_

Both of them stopped at the side of the street for a short break. Allen frowned slightly as he heard a growl from his stomach which had been screaming for the past 30 minutes. They had bought quite a lot of stuffs around the place. Kanda put the shopping bags onto the ground as he took out his bottle of water and drank it. They should be going off to their next destination as written from the packed schedule that he had planned, but he couldn't go anywhere when he was hungry. Allen looked out, scanning for any food stalls selling food, but apart from the people amounting to thousands, he couldn't find anything. He sighed, rubbing his flattened stomach which was demanding for food.

"Let's go, Moyashi," Kanda said, taking up the shopping bags in his hands after drinking some water. Allen shook his head, tossing the need to find food off his head as he took some from him, and they were about to set off when an extreme loud growl echoed in the air. The raven-haired man stopped and stared at him in slight bewilderment. The silver-haired teen cursed under his breath, screaming inwardly to his stomach which could not keep itself quiet for a moment. He then turned to Kanda and laughed awkwardly.

"Are you...hungry?" Kanda questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"I...Of course not!" Allen laughed loudly, shaking his head. Seconds later, another growl was heard. The silver-haired teen looked down, too embarrassed to say anything.

"Looks like you are." The raven-haired man was smirking in amusement. Allen wished to jump into a hole instantly.

"We go to the end of the street and see if there is any food stalls around." Kanda suggested, sympathising the beansprout a little after seeing that miserable look on his face. Allen nodded his head, and they walked to the end of the street, looking around to see whether there were food stalls around. Luckily, there was one selling hotdogs at the side of the road. Allen skipped over to the stall, his mouth almost drooling at the sight of the food and its overwhelming aroma hitting his senses. When the person in front of him left, the uncle turned to him.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"14 sticks of hotdog."

The owner stared at him in slight astonishment, wondering whether he was hearing things.

"Doesn't seem to me that you can eat that much for a small-built like you, boy," The uncle chuckled, slipping 14 sticks of hotdog into a paper bag as he handed it to him.

"I'm buying for someone too. Thanks uncle," Allen replied with a smile as he handed him the money. He stepped aside, closing his eyes as he sniffed in the strong aroma deeply. His stomach rumbled in response, and he could not wait to indulge himself into the delicious food that he bought. Allen grinned as he held the paper bag in his arms, walking back to where Kanda was. As he walked past a lady who was blocking his view, he saw an incoming bicycle within metres which was coming in his direction at top speed.

"Moyashi!"

Silver eyes widened as he felt an arm circling around his shoulder, pulling him backwards. His whole body crashed into the embrace of the raven-haired man, seconds before the bicycle hit him directly. Allen gasped in slight surprise, almost dropping the shopping bags and his food. A soft jingle rang at his ear, and as he stared at his neck, he saw a pretty cross necklace which looked extremely familiar. Allen frowned, thinking back to where he might have seen it, before his eyes widened in realisation.

"This...!" He exclaimed, pointing at the silver accessory. Kanda blinked, peering at the necklace that he wore for the first time.

"What?"

"This necklace...where did you get it from?" Allen asked. Even though he knew, he had to confirm it first.

"It was a Christmas present that Lenalee gave it to me randomly, but there is no card indicating the person who bought it," Kanda replied.

"Oh my god..." Allen whispered, touching the silver cross as he took up the necklace. Kanda frowned, not understanding what the beansprout meant.

"What is it?"

"I bought this necklace."

Sapphire eyes widened as the raven-haired man stared at him in slight astonishment.

"It was actually bought out of impulse, few days before Christmas. When I chose this cross necklace, I suddenly thought of you, and how it will look compatible on you when you wear it. It really looks so good on you..." Allen murmured and smiled, feeling the cold surface of the metal cross gently. Kanda just watched him in silence, and after a moment, he grabbed his wrist roughly, startling him slightly.

"What_―_"

"Where did you get this pair of gloves?" Kanda asked. Allen frowned in bewilderment.

"This is one of the Christmas presents that I got that day as well."

Kanda stared at it in a slight daze. He then let go of his hand, chuckling softly to himself.

"Kanda?" Allen peered at him questioningly.

"I bought this pair of gloves."

Allen remained silent for a moment, before his eyes widened as he stared at his gloves which were on his hands.

"What! Really?"

"And the funny thing is, I bought that on a whim as well. I never thought that you would be wearing it," Kanda said.

"So that means...we are meant to be together...?" Allen asked with a beaming smile, anticipating his reply. Kanda stared at him in slight absurd, wondering how he came up with such a ridiculous answer.

"Don't be stupid, Moyashi. And be careful next time. Don't always think of food all the time."

"I...I don't think of food all the time!" Allen snapped, his face red in annoyance and embarrassment.

"You do," The raven-haired man said, taking the bag of food as he peered inside. Sapphire eyes then widened in slight horror.

"When did I ask you to order that much?" He asked incredulously. Allen smiled sheepishly as he took one stick of hotdog and bit it in his mouth. Kanda just stared at him in silence, before he let out a sigh of defeat.

"That's why I said not to think of food all the time. You will grow fat," Kanda muttered, taking a stick as he started eating the hotdog.

"I'm not fat, Kanda!" Allen exclaimed in displeasure, glaring hardly at the raven-haired man who decided to look elsewhere and ignore his whines. Yes, he might love all the food available in the whole world, but he certainly was not fat! For his information, he had been exercising regularly even after he left the Order!

"Yes, you are,"

"No, I'm not!"

"...Yes, you are."

"I am definitely not fat! Just because I am small-built does not mean that I'm fat!"

"Oh, so you acknowledge that you are short, Moyashi?" Kanda asked with a smirk. His eye twitched in anger, and Allen was more than willing to sentence this bastard to death this instant.

"KANDA!"

And they continued to bicker just like before.

* * *

_::Colourful Moments::_

"_His lips tasted cool and sharp, peppermint, winter, but his hands, soft on the back of my neck, promised long days and summer and forever."―Maggie Stiefvater, Shiver_

* * *

_4 pm, Clear  
_

He did not know what made him agree to go out with the beansprout. When he chose to chase him down the streets and grabbed his wrist to prevent him from leaving again, Kanda wondered whether he was doing the right thing. He caught hold of Allen Walker whose face was filled with heavy tears, his silver eyes glaring hardly at him with extreme pain and hatred_―_for betraying his feelings at the end. Realising how he really felt for him, and bringing him such misery upon his life, he had once thought to let him go.

_"What do you think you are doing?"_

He had once thought to forget him_―_to erase everything about Allen Walker. He supposed to hate him, to detest him and reject him completely, throwing away his existence and regarded it as something insignificant in his life. But there were simply too many memories he had with the beansprout. He could not erase all of them away, and even if he did erase some of them, more would appear in his mind, reminding himself repeatedly that in his life, he had met this silver-haired teenager who was changing his very fate.

_"Then why did you run when you saw me?"_

_"I do not want to disturb the two of you together." _

_"Is it really like that?" _

In order to forsake his feelings for him, Allen chose to run away. In order to ignore his growing feelings for the other, Kanda chose to pretend that nothing had happened. After all, it was nothing but a mistake. They were two different people living in two different worlds, and all they ever did together were to fight, bicker and make such a big mess of themselves. Yet all these while, they had been walking in circles, eventually making their way back to each other. Just like that, their fates could never be cut, even if both of them wanted to.

_"...Yes."_

_"You are lying." _

_"Do I have any reason to lie?" _

He wasn't sure whether it was just attraction. His heart just felt a electric sizzle, jolting up his senses which were all fixated on Allen, and he realised that he could not erase this emotion which started to torment him endlessly, like a deep scar forcefully carved on the flesh of his body. He wanted it to go away, yet he was hesitant on whether he should really let Allen go_―_to erase his existence entirely from his life without leaving anything behind. He wasn't sure whether he had the courage to live on without any memory of Allen Walker residing in him.

_"Because you like me."_

And before he knew it, he felt himself gradually attracted to him.

"Look at this, Kanda!" Allen shouted from the front, waving excitedly at him. Kanda frowned slightly, wondering how enthusiastic this beansprout could be. He walked to his side, peering at his shoulder as he saw different kinds of hand-made postcards specially designed by the art students. He peered at the exquisite work, spotting one which had the picture of Big Ben at its front cover. Allen took up one of them, tracing the surface lightly with his fingers.

"Isn't this beautiful? Should I buy some of these?" He asked. Kanda raised his eyebrow in slight bewilderment.

"Aren't you living in this city? Is it even necessary?" He asked. The smile on his face faltered slightly at his words. The raven-haired man stared at him, wondering whether he had said something wrong.

"But you are leaving tomorrow..."

Sapphire eyes widened slightly. Allen turned and smiled at him.

"So I thought of sending some postcards over to your place in Canada. At least we can still communicate even though you are not here anymore."

Kanda did not say anything. Allen put the postcard back to its original position, before they continued to walk and look around the Greenwich market. He paced behind him, wondering what the silver-haired teen was thinking at that moment when he said those words. What face expression did he make at that time? He wanted to know, yet he was somehow hesitant in finding out. Even though he really found out, what could he do?

The silver-haired teen disappeared into the large crowd surrounding an area. Kanda was slightly annoyed, though he was not sure whether it was because that beansprout did not have a sense of direction, or he was simply worried for him_―_which he would never admit. Making sure that Allen was within his sight, Kanda went over to where he was, hearing a soothing piano melody and a deep, high-pitched voice singing away with the classical music.

He stopped by, staring at a girl who was around Allen's age. Her eyes were closed, her body swaying with the soft melody as she sang out the tune deep within her heart. Her eyes opened halfway, her emotions surfacing together with the saddening lyrics as she pronounced each word with strong feelings. The piano continued to play in the background, its soft melancholy tune triggering his long memories of him and Allen.

From the day they first met at the front gates of the Black Order, the multiple circumstances happening between the two of them during missions, that particular moment when Allen blocked his way from reaching Alma and he stabbed into his abdomen forcefully in rage, and that last night they saw each other before they parted ways.

If time could rewind, back to that night when they were still in the Order three years ago, whereby they each could make a choice again, what would he choose?

"Kanda." Kanda looked up, seeing Allen smiling at him. The performance ended, and the girl bowed as a loud applause was made by the audience who had enjoyed the music. They continued on their way, seeing many portraits and art and crafts among the stalls. He stopped sometimes, taking down the culture of this place he wanted to remember. The raven-haired man continued to snap pictures, and before he knew it, the silver-haired teen was in almost every picture that he took down. Kanda slowly lowered down his camera, watching Allen in silence.

His heart thudded hardly in response.

When had he become so conscious of Allen Walker?

"Let's go back," He said.

"What?" Allen stopped in his footsteps and stared at him.

"Let's get the postcards," Kanda said firmly. Silver eyes slowly widened at his words. They eventually went back to get the postcards. The silver-haired teen peered over the different designs of the postcards, talking to one of the arts students about the price. Kanda stood under a tree, watching him from afar. He slowly took up his camera, peering at the screen as it portrayed the side view of the silver-haired teen whose hand was at the corner of his lips, laughing through the conversation. He zoomed in, staring closely at his small yet firm body structure_―_from his legs, upper abdomen, his chin, the raw scar at his left eye, and his smooth silver hair strands moving beautifully in the wind. The beansprout had certainly grown a lot now compared to the past, when he was still an Exorcist. He did not even want to mention just how frail and skinny the silver-haired teen had become at that time_―_fighting with his Noah, fulfilling his responsibilities and having to face endless inspections from the Vatican.

At this moment, the girl within the small group of music students that they bypassed just now began to sing again. That melodious voice resonated in the air, bringing in a light and calm ambiance to the surrounding they were in.

Allen turned back, waving at him excitedly. He heard a snap, and that picture of him was forever stored inside this memory.

They went to the Trafalgar Square next, a famous destination that one must visit in London. Allen stepped into this large space, his eyes slowly widening in shock and amazement. People were all over the area, chatting among themselves. A light and tingling atmosphere was in the air, filled with soothing classical music. Kanda walked around as he observed closely at its architecture, taking pictures of the well-known stone lions and the infamous fourth plinth, telling back its history of this place. A small fountain was situated at the middle, spurting out crystal-clear water as it descended down beautifully back to the bottom of the fountain.

It was late evening, and the sky was slowly darkening, with the golden rays of sunlight shining brightly at the red horizon.

As the raven-haired man was taking different angles of the scenery, he spotted a couple within distances. The guy took off his scarf and wrapped around the girl's neck, making sure that it was tucked firmly into her clothing to keep out the cold. She smiled shyly, and as the guy placed his gloved hands on her face, they leaned in and kissed. Not only them, there were other couples who were practically doing the same thing.

They all each had promises to each other. Promises of a lifetime. He and Allen were going separate ways tomorrow. This was the last day which they could spend their time together. He did not want to promise anything with that beansprout, because he did not want him to wait, just like three years ago. But at least, he could promise that the time they spent now was real.

The silver-haired teen began to move forward, his eyes fixating at the biggest Christmas tree that he had ever seen. He slowly walked to the front, peering up at the golden and silvery hues brightening up the whole tree, as though he was seeing tiny stars on it.

"Kanda, remember that time when we first met?" Allen asked.

Kanda stared at the bright star shining at the very top, remembering back to that time when he and Mandy were standing in front of a Christmas tree in a park, and together with the rest of the people, they began wishing. At first, he did not believe in any of the sayings, that he would see the person he wanted to see when it lit up. He did not exactly wish to see Allen as well. Maybe it was because that beansprout had been occupying his mind for so long.

Maybe, it was fate.

"I did not expect to meet you there."

"Yeah, and you ran away from me," Kanda replied with a slight frown.

"That was because I wasn't prepared to face you," Allen said. Kanda turned and stared at him.

"Why?"

Allen stared at him, having a dull shine in his silvery eyes.

"Because I was afraid," He whispered softly.

"And now?" Kanda asked again, sapphire eyes staring at him with strong emotions as he walked towards him. Allen exhaled softly as he leaned in, sliding his arms around his shoulders as his fingers were entangled together with his raven strands. A faint smile slowly formed at his lips.

"I am no longer afraid, because you are now with me, Kanda."

Kanda closed in, his hand callousing his face as their lips met with a gentle, chaste kiss. It felt extremely warm, enough to drive out the cold from his body. They slowly parted soon after, their foreheads still leaning together as they stared at each other with a longing gaze. Allen slowly smiled radiantly, his left hand locking together with the big yet slender hand belonging to the raven-haired man.

"I love you."

He wished to believe that there was future for the both of them.

* * *

_::Colourful Moments::_

"_In our time together, you claimed a special place in my heart, one I'll carry with me forever and that no one can ever replace."―Nicholas Sparks, Dear John _

* * *

_6 pm, Windy  
_

"I have always wanted to come to this place!"

They entered Hyde Park, one of the greatest city parks in the world covering 142 hectares with over 400 trees surrounding it. Kanda was wondering what place made that beansprout talk non-stop for the last 30 minutes. Sapphire eyes narrowed in slight amazement as he stared through the pine trees, seeing a large patch of frozen lake for people to skate on it. The area was fenced for safety, and there was a rental stall for people to rent skates if they did not have.

Skating wouldn't be much of a problem for him, since he, Mandy and some of his colleagues had gone for ice-skating during the winter season. They also went for skiing deep inside the mountains, a tedious yet fun and relaxing sport which he came to like years after he came to Canada. The problem was, did that beansprout know how to skate on ice? Kanda frowned slightly at imagining a scene whereby he was desperately trying to teach that clumsy beansprout how to skate properly.

"Do you know how to skate?" He asked. Allen stood there, silent.

"There is always a first time?" The silver-haired teen smiled in enthusiasm.

"That means you do not know how to skate!" Kanda snapped. Allen was giving him pleadingly eyes, his hands swinging his arm lightly like a child throwing a small tantrum. The raven-haired man stared at him for a moment, before he let out a sigh.

"Let's go and rent a pair of skates first."

"Yay!" Allen exclaimed in happiness as he ran to the rental stall within seconds. Kanda shook his head, preparing himself for a series of events which would give him endless headaches. He walked over to Allen's side, taking off one of his boots to let the person at the counter estimate his foot size as he went in to get a suitable pair of skates. The silver-haired teen was sitting at a corner, trying on the ice skates.

Kanda grabbed his skates and went over to Allen who stood up and was walking in a rather...awkward way. He raised his eyebrow, watching him in silence as the silver-haired teen almost tripped on a pile of snow. Allen balanced himself, patting off the snow on his jeans as he continued to walk in large, unbalanced steps like a clumsy penguin. Kanda looked away, finding himself laughing at this sight.

"Are you laughing at me?" Allen shot him a glare in suspicion.

"I should be worried on what would happen later," Kanda cleared his throat and answered as he took off his boots and began wearing the skates. They left their shoes at the rental stall and proceeded their way to the frozen lake. Allen slowly stepped onto the ice, swallowing nervously as his hands held on the railing fearfully. The silver-haired teen slowly let himself move, his eyes widening in slight awe as he felt the wind blowing against his body. Kanda was behind him, observing his movements closely.

The moment Allen let go, his skates went out of control. He screamed out in panic as he skated in circles, his arms flying up in the air before he fell down onto the hard ice, sliding across it for a few centimetres. The silver-haired teen whimpered in pain, his hand rubbing his aching abdomen which felt as though it had split open. Kanda skated over to him quickly and took both of his hands, pulling him up. Allen clasped on his hands tightly as he struggled up, keeping his wobbly feet steady at the same time. Thinking that he was okay, Kanda let go of his hands, and Allen slipped again. The raven-haired man moved across him, his hand grabbing his waist before the silver-haired teen fell.

"Are you really alright?" He asked in slight amusement. Allen frowned, showing an indignant expression as he stood up to his feet, deciding to make this right and prove to Kanda that he could also do it. Kanda blinked in slight confusion as the silver-haired teen shove off his hands and skated off on its own, raising up his arms to balance himself. The raven-haired man chuckled lightly to himself as he followed him behind, observing him in silence.

There were many people skating on the frozen lake, whether it was a couple, family or friends. Some of them like Allen were learning for the first time, while others were already gliding along the ice lightly, spinning gracefully in circles like a ballerina performing on stage. Kanda closed his eyes, sniffing in the refreshing scent of snow and ice around the place. He put his hands behind his back as he began to skate in big strides, doing a small spin at a corner as his feet moved backwards. He did a round, and was moving towards the frustrated silver-haired teen who was still attempting to finish half of it.

"Wait for me!" Allen whined. The raven-haired man just smirked playfully.

"Catch up to me then," Kanda whispered lowly, his index finger purposely leaving a hot trail down his arm, before he skated off. His heart throbbed painfully, fighting back the sudden desire to grab the sexy raven-haired man and kiss him hardly. Allen pouted in displeasure, determined to skate properly and catch up to that baKanda to return him the favor for seducing him like that.

Kanda grinned at that deflated look on that beansprout's face. It wouldn't be long before he caught up to him. The raven-haired man moved gracefully on the ice as he made a few more light spins, his hair fluttering together with the wind. He brushed away his long fringe, peering at a girl with rare beauty skating beside him. Her electricity eyes sent some sparks to him, blinking multiple times as her arm snaked to his arm.

"Alone today?" She murmured seductively. Kanda smirked lightly in reply.

"I wonder?" He replied, pulling out his arm from hers. She giggled, leaning closer to him as their bodies brushed past. He shot her a slight glare, telling her that she had gone far, but she did not seem to give up. Kanda sighed, looking up as he searched for the beansprout, but to his slight astonishment, the silver-haired teen was nowhere to be found. He slowed down his speed and turned around, only to crash with the beansprout whose anger was at its peak. Kanda stared at him in slight surprise, wondering how he managed to finish a round and catch up to him. Allen gave a death glare at the girl who dared to harass his lover, before he pulled Kanda away.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Allen hissed in anger as he wrenched his coat roughly, bringing their bodies together.

"Are you jealous, Moyashi?" Kanda asked softly at his ear, his arm wrapping around his waist lightly as they moved together on the ice. Allen growled in response, glaring darkly at the other.

"Why would I be jealous! And my name is Allen!"

"Moyashi." His deep baritone voice rang melodiously at his ears. Allen swallowed thickly, his blood shooting up to his head as a red flush was gradually appearing at his cheeks. He bit his lip, his gaze at the floor as he tried to put out the fire of his inner desires.

"I told you not to call me that!" He growled, in a much softer tone. Kanda smirked, knowing that the beansprout was starting to get aroused. He just did not know that his voice was enough to make him weak in the knees.

"But I love to call you that. That name refuses to leave me alone," Kanda murmured, his hands playing with his thick silvery locks behind his ear. Allen gasped to cover up the soft moan which escaped out of his lips. He almost fell for it. Suddenly, the warmth was gone, and the silver-haired teen looked up to see the raven-haired man getting away. He looked down, a dark aura emitting out of his body as he began laughing rather eerily.

"Kanda...!"

He swore to get it from him. Allen snapped up and skated as fast as he could, but not as fast as him. Kanda dodged purposely as the silver-haired teen lunged to him desperately, enjoying the torment he was bringing to the other. He did not know why, but every time he saw that fuming face of his, he wanted to laugh, and somehow, he began teasing the beansprout repeatedly just to see that look on his face again.

"Hurry up, Mo-Ya-Shi," Kanda drawled out, emphasising that nickname in particular.

Allen stumbled, his hand barely touching Kanda's hand as he almost fell again. Kanda smirked as he turned around, his feet moving backwards at the same time as he grabbed both of his hands, pulling Allen into his pace. The silver-haired teen gasped frantically, gripping on his arms tightly as he stared at his skates which were moving smoothly on the ice.

"K-Kanda, aren't you going a little too fast?"

Allen could feel the cold, frosty wind pricking painfully at his face. He had no idea how many rounds they had skated, and before he knew it, they were gradually moving towards the middle of the lake, where there were lesser people around. Allen realised just how close he was leaning to Kanda, enough to hear his faint breaths and heartbeats. They were gradually slowing down, spinning lightly in circles as Kanda continued to hold his arms, guiding the silver-haired teen along. Allen was slowly loosening his muscles as well, going with the flow.

"I'm letting go," Kanda said. Allen nodded his head, and he slowly released his hands, letting the silver-haired teen to manage on his own. His few strides were slightly wobbly, but he was finally able to balance himself on the ice. A wide grin slowly appeared on his face as Allen began to skate smoothly without difficulty. The raven-haired man watched him in silence, and he wondered how much he had desired for that smile from that beansprout.

How much he desired for him.

"Kanda!"

Kanda looked up at Allen who was skating towards him.

"Let's take a picture together!"

The silver-haired teen crashed lightly to his side, grasping his arm as he peered at him in anticipation. Kanda wondered why he did not refuse his request immediately. He held his camera far, its lens facing him. Allen grinned and locked his arm to his, leaning closely to his shoulder as he stared at the camera.

"One...two..."

"THREE!"

"Don't yell at my ear, Moyashi!"

"Sorry, Kanda...And my name is Allen, not beansprout! How many times must I remind you that?"

"To me, you are always a Moyashi."

"I told you to stop calling me that!"

"Moyashi."

"Kanda!"

Why hadn't he realise that three years ago?

* * *

_::Colourful Moments::_

"_My heart only ever had one thought, one want. One need. Despite all, in spite of all...All my heart has ever wanted is you."―Stephanie Laurens, The Edge of Desire_

* * *

_9.30 pm, Clear  
_

After skating on ice for two hours and having dinner at a nearby cafe for about an hour, it was already past nine at night. They were taking a slow walk on the London Tower Bridge, deciding to use the remaining time to walk all the way back to the hotel. Kanda took up his camera and snapped a picture of the London's Eye which was shimmering in different hues of light. Allen peered at the river, many thoughts coming into his mind.

They had accomplished many things today_―_did what they wanted to do, tried what they wanted to experience for their first times, and enjoyed every moment of it. He peered at the small bag of postcards which he had bought, remembering back to that time when Kanda suddenly wanted him to buy them. He somehow knew the reason, yet he wanted to hear it personally from the raven-haired man. Why would he suddenly want him to buy these postcards? What exactly was he thinking when he made that decision? Kanda might probably want to grant his requests since it was their last day together, but was it really like that? He agreed on this date just out of a mere whim?

In less than twelve hours, Kanda would be leaving this place.

Allen stiffened. The silver-haired teen gripped the sides of his windbreaker, feeling a sudden chill invading his body. He should be content to be able to go out with Kanda for the whole day, yet somehow, the mood was completely gone. He glanced at Kanda who was looking elsewhere, silent for the last few minutes when they were walking back to his hotel. What was he thinking all these while when he was with him? Did he enjoy every bit of their journey together?

Would he...miss him when he left?

They stopped at the traffic light, seeing many vehicles driving along the roads. He began to count down the number of steps which would eventually reach to their final destination. His stomach began to twist in uncomfortable knots, and Allen prayed that the traffic system would break down, such that they would never made their way across this junction; such that they would continue to stand here.

Such that he would continue to stay with him.

After a few minutes, the traffic light for the pedestrian turned green. Silver eyes stared at the illuminating light which started flashing brightly for a moment, before he let out a bitter laugh, mocking at his naivety. What was he thinking? They could never stop here forever.

"Moyashi?" Kanda turned around, noticing that Allen did not move from his spot.

Allen stared at the raven-haired man who had reached to the other side of the road. He knew he shouldn't be selfish. Kanda did not belong here in the first place. He slowly took a step forward, moving across the junction just before the traffic light turned red.

The silver-haired teen felt himself moving slower, dragging his feet heavily against the ground. He stared at the silhouette of the other, admiring his broad shoulders which he would always wrap his hands around in closeness. His hand slowly reached out to his shadow, wanting to stop him; wanting to stall the time which was slowly slipping away in desperation, yet what could he do when he held Kanda back? Was there any reason for Kanda to stay? The raven-haired man was able to go out with him, simply because he had finished his assignment and had nothing to do before his departure. Even if Kanda liked him, he knew his character very well. That man wouldn't stop his footsteps just because of him.

Before he realised it, they were standing in front of the hotel.

"You can go back first_―_"

"I go up with you!" Allen exclaimed. Kanda stared at him in slight astonishment. He then sighed and turned back, walking to the main lobby.

"Whatever you wish."

They entered the lift, leaning at the corners of the glass pane while it ascended to the 8th floor. A few seconds later, the lift gradually stopped and opened its door. Allen stared at the stretching corridor, seeing the remaining distance to the room which Kanda was staying in. They walked in silence, and he found himself staring at the number of his room. Kanda seems to be reacting slower than usual, his hands searching for the card in his bag. He took it out, ready to open the door.

"Kanda."

The hand holding the card stopped, just millimetres from the card slot. Kanda turned and faced him. Allen stared at the white card in place for a moment, wondering what he was doing. He rummaged his bag, taking out a similar card that Tiedoll handed him yesterday.

"I want to hand it over to you. I met Tiedoll outside yesterday, and he told me to give it back to you." He gave it to him. Kanda frowned as he took it, wondering what stupid idea that old man was planning under his sleeves.

"I...just want to thank you for coming out with me today. Thank you for making this day an enjoyable one."

His mind was searching for words_―_anything to hold him back, even if it was only for a second.

"I...I hope you...you won't forget us, and I hope that you would...would come back here again."

Allen forced out a smile. It was really over.

Kanda inserted the card, unlocking the door. He slowly went in, turning back to face him. Allen stared at him, waiting for that moment_―_the sound of the door closing which would mark the closure to their relationship.

"I have fun today as well. Thanks to you..." His voice trailed off for a moment.

"...Allen."

Silver eyes widened, hearing his name which left a faint echo deep inside his head. He thought that this was it, that it was time to accept the truth that they were going back to their separate lives, that he would never see him again. He had spent a fruitful day with Kanda, and he was leaving with no regrets. But at that split second when he saw that distant look from the raven-haired man who purposely called him by his name, his resolve to move on was wiped off in an instant. His deep voice continued to ring inside his head again and again, and he could not ignore the slight hesitant tone in his voice which sounded as though he did not want him to leave.

It might sound like an excuse, but he could no longer care.

The door was closing in front of him.

His hand reached out, gripping its side and stopping it before the door closed completely. There was silence for a moment.

"Can I be selfish one last time?" Allen asked softly, waiting for his reply, wishing that he might, perhaps, have the same answer as him.

He then felt the grip of the door slowly loosening as it opened slightly. Kanda was standing there, at the very same position when he turned around and said his last words to him. Allen stared at him, before he slowly stepped into the room, closing the distance between the both of them.

The door gradually closed behind him with a soft click.

* * *

A/N: I practically researched every attraction sites in London, read the reviews and selected the best ones which were suitable for their outing. Just to tell you all that I have never been to London before, so the description of the places might not be correct, but I have tried my best to write them, so if I make mistakes, or if it does not really turn out the way you imagine it to be, I'm really sorry for that. No flames are allowed here, simply because I have put in a lot of effort in writing this chapter, but I really hope that this chapter pleases most of you :)

This chapter is mainly focusing on their outing, so I have to apologise to readers who are looking forward to reading some Lavi/Lenalee moments! For the next 2 - 3 chapters, it will also be focusing more on Yullen pairing rather than Lavi/Lenalee, but no worries, I will definitely write more on this cute pairing in future chapters!

High Yullen fluff alert in this chapter! Don't say that I did not warn you all :P

Next, thanks to all for the lovely reviews once again! This chapter is rather long (the longest chapter I have ever wrote in my life), so I have to apologise for this. Their POVs might be confusing, so I explain here. Kanda's POVs are mainly the scenes on the Greenwich market (buying postcards and the singing), the Trafalgar Square and the Hyde Park where they were ice-skating, though there are little bits of Allen's POV in the ice-skating scene as well. The rest of the scenes are mainly Allen's POVs.

So how you all think of this chapter? What _exactly_ will happen after Allen entered Kanda's room? Or...what do you expect it to happen later? Though it is a little obvious here *cough cough*, please share your opinions with me in your review!

~SingingBlues


	15. A Long Promise

**Warning: Rating has changed! You all know what that means...**

Enjoy~!

* * *

**Chapter 15: A Long Promise**

"_I'm gonna fight for you, until your heart stops beating."―Stephenie Meyer, Eclipse _

_xxx  
_

"Can I be selfish one last time?"

Kanda paused, his hand stopping at the last moment before he closed the door. His eyes widened as he stared at the wooden door separating the both of them from each other. He did not know what he was doing, and what he exactly wanted to do. He was supposed to be prepared for this_―_to spend the last day with Allen and go separate ways, yet when he heard his voice at the other side of the door, his hand could not move from its position. His heart thumped in anticipation, and he absurdly hoped that he would stop him. And at that particular moment, he realised that he did not want this to end.

He released his hand, and the door slowly opened again with a low creak. The silver-haired teen was standing there, staring at him with a blank expression. Allen slowly walked forward, until he stopped just right in front of him. The door of the room slowly closed with a soft click, before there was silence surrounding the whole place. Kanda just stared at him, not comprehending what was happening between the two of them. What did Allen want? What did _he _want?

"Why are you here, Moyashi?" He questioned with an emotionless gaze.

"Then why do you let me in, Kanda?" Allen asked back softly, his silvery eyes staring hardly at him. He wondered why as well. Kanda breathed lightly, taking a slow step forward as his hand slid gently across his small waist, his fingers tracing along the solid muscles as it stopped at his shoulder. Allen leaned in slightly, a soft, inaudible sigh escaping out of his parted lips. Sapphire eyes narrowed as his other hand touched the side of his neck, his fingers slipping into the thick locks of his silver hair.

He did not know. Why was he doing this?

Kanda swallowed, breathing in his light scent lingering at his body. He could feel an arm sliding up his chest, slowly wrapping around his neck. The both of them continued to stare at each other, and as their hair strands were entangled together in beautiful shades of sapphire and bright silver, their faces were leaning together, their lips brushing each other in the slightest friction.

He did not know.

"Why do you let me in?"

His heated whispers fluttered melodiously into his ears. His blood was pulsating quickly within his body every second, and before he knew it, Kanda captured his lips with a searing kiss. He slowly tasted the soft flesh with his tongue, again and again. Allen moaned softly, his hands tightening around his shoulders as he opened his mouth willingly, feeling a wet tongue slithering inside and filling up everything inside. They kissed deeply, their tongues swirling inside their hot mouths in extreme slow movements.

They slowly parted, gasping for breath. And that was when he realised something.

He simply could not let him go.

"Because I do not want you to leave."

Everything just became extremely...hot. His coat, his windbreaker, his scarf...whatever that was blocking their way was now thrown onto the ground, and the two of them were at the door, kissing fiercely as though all the tension that had been held back for all those years was released in an instant. Their bodies were flushed together, their tongues twisting and twirling together in a sensual dance, fighting for dominance. His hands trailed down the sides of his hips, slowly slipping inside the warm sweater, roaming over his heaving chest. Allen shivered slightly at the coldness brought by his fluttering fingertips. Kanda broke off the kiss, moving down to his neck as he bit it hardly, before licking and sucking the small, bloody wound in his mouth with his wet tongue. The silver-haired teen let out a deep groan, his eyes rolling back as the pain slowly turned into pleasure.

"Kanda..." Allen moaned between breaths, feeling hazy and slightly delirious at what he was exactly doing. The silver-haired teen felt something flicking his swollen nipples and gasped loudly in slight surprise and pleasure. His fingertips continued to fondle and play with the swollen buds expertly, hearing his endless moans and whimpers which was starting to arouse him at an escalating rate. His jeans were getting painfully tight, not to mention that he was wearing jeans which were meant to fit his hips perfectly. He unconsciously ground his hips against the other, producing a delicious friction which caused the both of them to groan loudly in unison.

The raven-haired man then felt a hand lingering dangerously at his lower abdomen, traveling down between his thighs as it slowly caressed the bulge beneath his jeans in slow, circular motions. Kanda hissed and groaned at the tingling pleasure building up from the movements, his hips bucking up at the same pace. He ground his hips against Allen's repeatedly, causing the other to stop what he was doing as the silver-haired teen arched back, letting out a deep, throaty moan.

Kanda could not understand why he hadn't realised this all these while_―_the sweet yet so intoxicating body scent from Allen which was literally driving him insane. His emotions were spiraling out of control, and no matter how he wanted himself to stop, he could no longer stop. He wanted Allen, and he wanted him so much.

The raven-haired man pulled Allen to him roughly in a bruising kiss, diving deep down into his caverns and tasting every bit of it. Allen kissed back just as passionately, his hands trailing up his arms and across his chest, before they found its way around his neck, wrapping around it tightly. Kanda slowly moved backwards, guiding Allen along as they reached to another wall facing the bed directly. The silver-haired teen shifted his weight upwards, wrapping his legs around his waist as they continued to ravish each other. Kanda then walked to the bed, breaking the kiss as he threw him on the soft mattress.

Sapphire eyes stared at Allen, glazed with lust and desire.

"You know that I will not stop, Moyashi," He warned him with a breathless whisper.

"Then don't stop..." Allen murmured, sitting up as his hands caressed his face gently and pulled the raven-haired man into another heated kiss. Kanda growled softly, pulling his gloves as they slowly slipped off Allen's hands. He then unbuttoned his jeans and yanked them off, revealing that pair fair and smooth legs beneath him. He broke off the kiss, slipping his hand into his boxers, stroking his member which was already wet.

"Nnrgh...aah..." Allen moaned wantonly, writhing as sparks of electricity continued to shoot up his sensitive body again and again. Kanda observed him in silence, slightly intrigued by the face expressions he was seeing from the beansprout. His fingers played around the shaft, teasing at the tip as Allen gasped out breathlessly, shutting his eyes tightly.

"Can't...Kanda..."

He smirked, removing his hand from his member as he took off the last clothing that was in his way. Kanda pushed three fingers at his lips, and Allen took the hint, opening his mouth slightly as they slowly slipped inside. His tongue swirled around the fingers in extreme slow movements, before he sucked them deeply, continuing to make eye contact at the raven-haired man at the same time. Kanda hissed softly, feeling himself getting more aroused just by seeing that lewd expression Allen was making on purpose.

His fingers slowly slipped out, leaving a wet trail at the corner of his mouth. Kanda then positioned them at his entrance, thrusting one finger inside. Allen grimaced at the stinging pain from his abdomen, having a strange kind of sensation as it moved inside him. Kanda then put his second finger in, and as they brushed against a particular string of sensitive nerves, causing the silver-haired teen to scream out as he arched back in reaction. Kanda smirked in satisfaction, slipping the fingers out as he pulled out his long-sleeved shirt and unzipped his jeans, throwing them out of his way.

"Are you sure that you want this, Moyashi?" He asked again, holding his thighs as he positioned himself at his entrance.

"Take me, Kanda," Allen murmured softly, gripping his shoulders tightly as he gradually closed his eyes.

Kanda stared at him for a moment, before he slowly pushed himself inside. The silver-haired teen grimaced at the pain which felt as though his abdomen was literally ripping apart, his fingers clutching and his toes curling up tightly on the white covers. A high-pitched, breathless scream escaped out of his lips as Allen arched far back in reaction. Kanda stopped for a moment, letting Allen to get use to it, before he started thrusting into him, hitting his sweet spot instantly. Silver eyes flew open as Allen screamed out, seeing white stars blanking out his vision for that split second.

The bed creaked and shook violently, the wet sounds and the slapping of hips echoing throughout the room. Kanda continued to pound mercilessly into him, and Allen continued to moan loudly, his body trembling violently as waves of intense pleasure numbed his whole senses completely. Their hips rocked together, and the raven-haired man found himself drowning into this burning heat and sensation he was getting. He wanted more, and he grabbed the silver-haired teen's member and began stroking it with each forceful thrust, hitting his prostate repeatedly as it sent Allen into another round of hysterical screams.

"...Please..." Allen breathed harshly, his arms wrapping around his shoulders tightly. Kanda took his thighs and thrusted deeper into him. The silver-haired teen shuddered and let out a shrill cry as he came hardly. Kanda hissed softly, his body shivering at the burning heat enveloping his member, and he released into him seconds later. The both of them collapsed onto the bed, breathing heavily. Sapphire eyes opened slightly, seeing his slick silver hair strands on his sweaty face which made him look more beautiful than before. He growled, claiming his lips once again as he ravished his mouth hungrily. Allen groaned softly, threading his raven hair with his fingers.

"I have always loved how long and beautiful your hair is, Kanda..." The silver-haired teen murmured between their kiss, twirling the strands of his hair around his fingers playfully. Kanda stared at him in silence, and Allen took a few strands of raven hair, enjoying the extremely soft sensation as they slowly slid down his hand. A light smile appeared on his face as he sighed softly, closing his eyes as he sniffed the refreshing jasmine scent of the other.

"I could not believe that we are...together," Allen murmured softly, slipping his leg between his thighs as he leaned against his chest. It had been five years. At the first moment they met each other, he instantly knew that he could never get along with this person. Kanda was the most arrogant, self-centered and bad-tempered person he had ever known in his life, yet he couldn't stop himself from getting attracted to him.

Kanda said nothing, pulling the covers over them as he rested his arm around his shoulder. He also could not believe that they could get together despite their different personalities and perceptions of each other. He was supposed to hate him, yet all these while, he had been harboring feelings for Allen. When had he actually fall in love with him?

"Do you love me, Kanda?"

"What's with the sudden question?" Kanda asked with a slight frown.

"Ever since we are together, I haven't heard from you saying these three words to me," Allen answered with a light pout, continuing to play with his hair.

"Is it?"

"Don't avoid the question, Kanda!" Allen snapped lightly, glaring at him. Before he could start grumbling and whining at how unfair it was that he confessed to him first, the raven-haired man leaned in and kissed him lightly on his lips. After a while, they broke off, gasping slightly.

"Can you...stay?"

Kanda flinched slightly at his question. Silver eyes stared at him solemnly, waiting for his reply.

"...I can't."

He knew Allen would eventually ask, and he eventually had to leave him one day. He just did not realise how hard and difficult he had to let go of his hand which was now embracing him wholly, did not realise that they had created so much memories together just by these few days to Christmas, and he did not realise just how wrong he was all these years towards his real feelings for the silver-haired teen.

"I know."

Sapphire eyes widened slightly as Kanda stared at Allen who had a faint smile on his face. The silver-haired teen sighed, sliding his arms around his waist as he hugged him closer, burying his face onto his broad shoulder.

"Just...let me stay like this for a while longer..."

His heart wrenched slightly at hearing his weak voice. He wished that Allen hadn't said those words so truthfully. Kanda leaned lightly on his head, his hand threading through his soft strands of silver hair. He gazed out of the windows, seeing the crystal-white moon hanging at the clear night sky. At that night when they parted ways at the Order, he could also see the moon clearly from the sky, its silver light illuminating on the surface of the ground beautifully. They were going separate ways at that time. Now, they were still going separate ways once again.

Kanda watched Allen in silence, his fingers feeling his long eyelashes, tracing on the red scar at his left eye before they slowly felt the smooth texture of his small face. Sapphire eyes slowly trailed down to his lips which had been claimed by him for so many times till he could not remember. His hand calloused his forehead, brushing away soft strands of his long fringe shadowing his face. The silver-haired teen whined softly at his touch and snuggled closer to him, before he continued to sleep soundly.

He wondered whether he was insane. Maybe he was really insane, coming to like this stupid and dumb beansprout he had ever known in his life. He wanted to tell Allen about how confusing and contradicting his life had become because of him, how he wanted to forget him completely and erase his name from his memory forever, and how he changed his entire life completely till he couldn't let go of him. He wanted to tell him, but somehow, those words did not come out.

"Moyashi, I..." His voice trailed off as his eyes slowly closed.

_...wish you will be with me..._

* * *

His eyes twitched at the small sunlight rays shimmering through the windows, before they gradually opened, revealing the blank ceiling of the hotel room. Allen blinked sleepily, his legs moving beneath the warm blanket covering his naked body. He stared at the bathroom entrance in front of him in a daze, before silver eyes widened in realisation. The silver-haired teen sat up quickly and hissed lowly, grimacing at the sharp pain which shot up from his abdomen to his upper back due to the sex they had last night. He looked around, realising that Kanda was not here. The room was just too silent.

Allen threw off the covers and got out of bed, wearing back his boxers and jeans which were on the floor. The silver-haired teen checked the cupboard, the washroom_―_every areas of this room. Everything had been cleared with no traces left behind, as though the raven-haired man hadn't been here at all.

"That baKanda...leaving me behind and going off first instead?" He was about to stomp out of the room and search for him when something caught his eye. Allen stared at a paper which was left on the small table. He walked over to it quickly, his eyes widening as he took up the paper which was the sketch of himself at the parade square. His trembling fingers slowly trailed along the thick pencil lines drawn by the very person he loved. It was something that Kanda had left behind for him_―_something that proved that the raven-haired man was actually here; that those memories they had were real.

He turned the paper around.

_Love you, baka Moyashi._

_Kanda._

Allen froze, his eyes slowly widening in shock at those words.

_"Do you love me, Kanda?"_

_"What's with the sudden question?" _

His lips trembled, and tears began to fall, staining the paper.

_"Tell me, Kanda. What do you like of me?" _

_"Che. I don't know what you are talking about." _

The silver-haired teen covered his face as he slowly put down the sketch on the table, sliding down onto the floor as he cried softly. His heart throbbed in pain at the recollection of all the memories that they shared. He was sure he was already prepared for his eventual departure...or was he really ready to let him go? He hadn't expect Kanda to tell him about his true feelings, but when he saw those words written at the back of the sketch, the determination to keep all of these as a memory and move on snapped instantly.

He wanted to see him right now. He wanted to meet him right now.

But it was all too late.

His phone rang from his bag. Allen slowly stood up and walked over to it, taking it out and answering it.

"Hello?"

"Where are you, Allen?"

It was Lavi. He did not have the slightest idea why Lavi wanted to call him at this moment, and he did not have the mood to chat with him either.

"I'm at..."

"Do you know that Yuu-chan is leaving for Canada at ten?"

He knew, but...what could he do?

"Lavi..."

"Where the hell are you now!" The redhead shouted. Allen groaned softly as he sank down on the couch, brushing his fringe aside.

"I'm...at a hotel."

"Tell me the address! I'm rushing over here now!"

He could not comprehend why Lavi was so agitated at Kanda's departure. It was already eight, and he had barely thirty minutes to reach the airport which was at least a few distances away from this place. There was simply...no way he could reach on time. Allen sniffed, cleaning away the wet trails of tears at the side of his face.

"Why are you keeping quiet, Allen? Don't tell me...that you are giving up right from the beginning?"

Silver eyes widened at the question.

"The Allen Walker I know will not give up even at the last moment! It is you who taught this to all of us! That we should make use of the remaining time, even if there are only seconds left; even if there is only a chance for us, to reach to our goals! You are the one who told us that!"

Allen froze, remembering the same words that he said when he was still an Exorcist. He firmly believed that through the cursed powers he obtained, he could save mankind from the war and relieve them from their pains and sorrows. Humans or Akumas, they were all the same. As long as they worked hard and kept up to their faith that the war would eventually end, it would end. The very first person who mocked his stupidity was none other than Kanda, and at that time, he was going to prove to him that good things would happen when he did not give up in whatever he was doing.

"After chasing him down for five whole years, are you going to give up right now, Allen?"

"But, Lavi..."

"You are at Kanda's hotel now right?"

His eyes widened. "How did you know?"

"I'm already downstairs. So what are you going to do, Allen?"

Allen stared at the clock which was constantly moving. His eyes turned to the sketch on the table. The silver-haired teen stood up and approached it, taking it up by his hand. He flipped back, reading the words in his mind again and again. His eyes slowly closed, and he started to pray hardly, wishing that God could hear him one last time.

_Please..._

_Even if there are only a few seconds left..._

He grabbed the sketch and his belongings and rushed out of the room.

_Give me another chance to see him again, one more time..._

* * *

"Dear passengers, the gates for flight no SQ647 leaving for America will be closing in exactly ten minutes. Please report to the boarding gates immediately for last registration. I repeat..."

Kanda pulled a medium-sized navy-blue luggage in his hand, looking at the screen as he checked for the boarding time and the gates he had to report to for his flight. He stared at his watch, which showed the time of seven forty-five in the morning. Making sure that his passport was firmly secured in the tight pocket of his jeans, he stepped onto the escalator, going up to the second level of the airport to get himself a warm cup of latte and something to eat to fill up his empty stomach.

"A latte and one ham sandwich," He said to the lady at the counter who nodded her head and began processing his order. After a few minutes, he took his food and latte and went to sit at the side of the railings, placing his tray down as he pulled his luggage aside. The raven-haired man flipped open his phone, receiving a notification which was a missed call from Lavi. Kanda frowned, wondering why the redhead chose to call him at this particular time.

"Kanda."

Kanda looked up, slightly surprised to see Mandy standing in front of him. He put his newspaper aside and gestured her to sit down. She nodded her head and sat down, and both of them were silent for a moment.

"Are you really leaving?" She finally asked.

"Yeah. I need to return to take up another project," Kanda replied, sipping the latte. Mandy bit her lip and looked around in slight awkwardness, before she stared at him.

"Sorry."

The raven-haired man flinched slightly at what she said, looking up at her in astonishment. She then laughed softly, though he could still notice that the smile was slightly forced out.

"Sorry for...doing that. To...kiss you all of a sudden."

He stared at her thoughtfully.

"It's okay."

Her eyes widened, slightly appalled at his reply. She thought that he would hate her for that, but he wondered why he should be angry at her for doing that kind of action. In fact, he could not recall much on what exactly happened on that day itself. If he was the past him, he would surely blow his top, but he was already numbed by the straightforward actions from the others, mostly because of a certain beansprout who had been so direct to him for the past few years. And now, the last thing that he wanted to think of was him.

"I see. So you really love that person?" Mandy questioned.

"Who?" Kanda asked, raising his eyebrow.

"That guy in the drawing."

The raven-haired man stared at her in silence, before a small smirk formed on his curved lips as he put down his cup of latte and began to eat his sandwich. The red-haired girl stared at him in bewilderment, not understanding why he chose to stay silent instead. She wondered what exactly happened after he left on that day. Did he catch up with the silver-haired teen? Although Kanda rarely showed his emotions, she could see that he had feelings for the other. Yet, he chose to leave in the end?

"He isn't here with you?"

"No."

"Why?"

He did not know what to answer. Kanda switched on his camera, opening the archive folder as several photos of him and Allen appeared on the screen. He selected one of them and slowly scrolled down, staring at Allen's face features and his smile. His heart somehow wrenched, and he hissed slightly in pain. He eventually reached to the last picture, revealing the silver-haired teen giving him a light kiss on his cheek.

"Kanda?"

"It's nothing," He answered in a cold tone, finishing up his sandwich as he took up the cup and drank the latte.

Maybe he had made the wrong choice right at the beginning.

* * *

Allen rushed down to the main lobby and ran out of the hotel, seeing Lavi's red sports car parked at the side of the road. He ran to it and entered the vehicle, and after the door was closed, the redhead stepped hard on the accelerator and sped off to their destination. Lenalee was there as well, sitting at the back of the car.

"Didn't you know that Kanda is leaving at ten in the morning?" The olive-haired girl asked.

"I know," Allen replied softly, peering at the sketch in his hands. Lenalee peered at him worriedly. The silver-haired teen looked extremely paler than usual. She then stared at the drawing in slight bewilderment, and as she looked closer, her eyes slowly widened.

"Allen, isn't that person in the drawing...you?"

He forced out a smile.

"...Yes."

"Who would draw a portrait of you?" Lavi asked from the front, changing lanes as he dodged the cars skillfully, driving to the airport as fast as they could. The silver-haired teen looked down, silent. She peered at the refine pencil lines of the background, identifying the parade square that Allen went to get back his notes from his classmate instantly. From the angle that the the silver-haired teen was in the paper, he was probably unaware that he was being drawn.

"Kanda."

Violet eyes widened in shock. Even Lavi blinked in slight stupor as he stared at him from the small mirror in front.

"How dare that bastard leave me behind...how dare he..." Allen muttered, gripping the sketch tightly as he stared out of the window. How dare he leave a sketch and a few words behind and walk away just like that? After holding him back at that time, how dare he let go of him in the end?

"Hold on! We are reaching the airport soon!" Lavi said, stepping on the accelerator once again as the car sped on the expressway leading to the airport.

* * *

It was eight-thirty in the morning. Kanda and Mandy were at the departure entrance. The raven-haired man took out his passport and slipped his air ticket inside. He then turned to the auburn-haired girl who was going to say her last goodbyes.

"I will see you soon, Kanda."

He nodded his head. Kanda gazed at the doors of the airport in silence, wondering what he was really waiting for. He would miss the beautiful scenery and attractions in London. Sapphire eyes stared at the faint sunlight penetrating through the glass panes, thinking back to the moments he had when he first arrived here, meeting everyone once again. Was he actually missing all of them? He probably wouldn't miss that annoying old man and that stupid redhead he knew. After leaving here, he wasn't sure whether he would be coming back here again.

He wondered whether Allen was awake. It wasn't like himself to write those four words he left for him at the back of the sketch. Though he did not want to admit, he was thankful for those moments he had with that dumb beansprout. It was...the only thing he could give to him in return to his feelings.

"I'm going in," Kanda said, turning around as he took his luggage. As he was about to go, something grabbed his wrist. His eyes widened slightly, turning back as he stared at Mandy in slight astonishment.

"Mandy...?"

"Are you sure there isn't anything which holds you back at all?" She asked.

"Mandy_―_"

"Not at all?" She asked in a louder tone, her maroon eyes staring at him hardly. Kanda stood there in silence, thinking through her words. She did not have any reason to hold him back, because she would be returning to Canada as well, so why was she asking this all of a sudden? And even though this was such a simple question, why couldn't he give her an answer immediately?

"There isn't anyone you want to see before you go, Kanda?"

His heart thudded hardly in response. He slowly averted his gaze on the floor, his mind wandering back to the silver-haired teen and the memories they had created together. Kanda slowly took in a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"...I have to go."

He couldn't answer it. Mandy slowly released his hand, saying nothing. Kanda gripped on the handle of his luggage and began walking to the departure halls, joining the long queue leading inside. The queue gradually moved as minutes passed by. He stared at the front, seeing people going inside the glass doors.

"Goodbye..."

"I'm not going to let it end just yet, Kanda Yuu!"

Kanda froze, his eyes widening in shock at that familiar voice. He slowly turned, seeing Allen standing a few metres from him. Lenalee and Lavi were also there, standing together with him. The silver-haired teen then walked up to him, and he could see the sketch in his hand. Before he could say anything, Allen reached out and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, kissing him firmly on his lips.

Lenalee and Mandy blinked, Lavi whistled, and everyone was staring at the both of them with wide eyes. Kanda was stunned for seconds, and as he felt a tongue nudging at his lips for entrance, he gradually closed his eyes and opened his mouth, his tongue entangling together with his.

Seconds later, Allen slowly pulled away and stared at Kanda with a soft gaze. Kanda slowly breathed in, his eyes fluttering open as he stared back at him. The silver-haired teen gripped on his arms and held him close, feeling his body heat as he breathed in the lingering jasmine scent from his body.

"Can you wait for me?"

Sapphire eyes slowly widened at that statement as he stared at him, speechless. Allen chuckled softly at his reaction.

"You always caught up to me before I run away. This time, I am going to find you."

Kanda couldn't explain how he was exactly feeling at this moment. He knew that Allen would come and find him, but he hadn't expect him to say those words with such confidence. He stared at him, and knowing that this wasn't going to end, the tightness at his chest gradually loosened, feeling a strange yet light flutter at his heart.

"Kanda?" Allen peered at him with a questioningly gaze. Silver eyes slowly widened at the smile forming at his curved lips as the raven-haired man pulled him into a tight embrace. Kanda leaned in at his ear and whispered softly in a light teasing tone.

"Don't make me wait for too long, Moyashi."

"Told you that my name is Allen, not Moyashi," Allen murmured, sliding his arms up his back as he hugged him.

"Yeah, I know." Kanda threaded his fingers with the bright silvery strands, and he whispered something before he slowly pulled away.

"I love you."

Silver eyes widened as Allen stared at the raven-haired man with a dumbfounded expression who was walking into the departure halls. He continued to watch silently until he went inside. They might have gone separate ways for now, but both of them knew that it was not the end yet. His hands clutched tightly as a smile appeared on his face, before he turned around and faced his friends who came up to him.

"I thought you would stop him from leaving," Lavi said, putting his hand behind his head.

"Though that was probably one of the sweetest goodbyes I've ever seen," Lenalee said with a smile. A faint smile slowly formed at his lips as Allen turned and stared at the doors of the departure halls which gradually closed after the last person went in.

"That wasn't a goodbye."

That was a promise.

* * *

A/N: So how's my writing? It's my first time writing smut, so I really hope you all are satisfied with it :)

Please review and tell me your opinion on my writing!

~SingingBlues


	16. When You're Gone

**Chapter 16: When You're Gone**

_A Year Later, 6 June_

"Kanda…"

_That pink-tinted, pouted lips moved painfully slow as a small, playful grin slowly formed on his curved lips. _

"Kanda…"

_He sang softly, that seductive and melodious voice echoing deep in his ears as he called out his name again and again and again. His tongue slipped out, wetting the corners of his lips as that pair of bewitching silver eyes stared hungrily at him. _

"Kanda…"

_His hot breaths smoldered his skin as he leaned to him, his hands touching his face gently as he threaded his fingers into his smooth locks of raven hair, holding them to his nose as he inhaled the intoxicating scent which he was heavily addicted to. He smiled, his arms sliding up his back as their bodies were flushed together. _

"Kanda…"

_His wet and luscious mouth continued to call out his name repeatedly. He reached out, claiming his lips as they started to kiss heatedly, his hands touching and fondling his sensitive nipples as he listened to his delicious moans feeding to his growing desire. That mellow cries gradually escalated to piercing screams when his hand slipped beneath his boxers and began stroking the aching member which was already dripping wet._

"Kanda…"

_He rubbed the head of the shaft in extremely slow movements, his fingers feeling his balls as the other mewled wantonly, showing such a lewd and lustful expression. Oh, how he wished he could pound in that small, enticing butt this instant. His hand moved faster, and within seconds, he screamed out his name, releasing on his hand. He licked the remains at his lips as he positioned himself at the entrance._

"Kanda…"

"Moyashi…"

"Kanda-san!"

Sapphire eyes snapped open as he stared at the endless stretch of darkness in front of him. Kanda groaned softly as he slowly sat up, touching his aching forehead as he began to tidy up his hair which was terribly dishevelled when he was sleeping on the table. The raven-haired man then looked up in the most irritated expression as he stared at a brown-haired man who happened to be the company's new employee a week ago. And to his annoyance, he _happened _to have that same pair of _silver _eyes which resembled the eyes of a certain beansprout he knew.

"What?" Kanda asked gruffly, taking up the papers on his working desk as he put them into a neat pile. The man jolted slightly as he started stammering some foreign words he could not understand, his eyes darting around the office in nervousness.

"Um…this…"

He totally could not comprehend why this guy who was standing right in front of him had the same height as that beansprout, had the same body-built as that beansprout, had the same eyes as that beansprout, was exactly the same age as that beansprout, and _even_ had the same level of stupidity as that beansprout. No, maybe the beansprout was a little smarter than him. But the ridiculous amount of similarities in this man compared to Allen Walker was enough to piss him off for an infinite period. And…why would he always see a faint shadow of that beansprout in this idiot?

_"Kanda…" _He could faintly see a smirking Allen Walker mocking at his current torment. Oh, damn that beansprout…

The brown-haired man who was known as Sam stepped forward and handed him a folder in slight hesitation. Kanda frowned slightly at his weird behaviour as he flipped open and began checking his work. He avoided staring at the disturbing sight in front of him as the brown-haired man started biting his lips in a sulking manner_―_something which reminded him so much of the silver-haired teen. It had only been a year and he was still not getting used of living a solitary life he used to go through.

Kanda let out a long sigh_―_not because he did not want to scream in frustration but he was simply too tired to raise his voice_―_as he slammed the documents on the table, before he looked up at him.

"What is this? Must I tell you every single time you meet me that you need to attach your draft together with your work?"

Silver eyes blinked as he looked down at the scattered papers, before they slowly widened in realisation. The raven-haired man breathed sharply, knowing that he must have forgotten that again.

"Must I do something to that stupid head of yours to remember this simple rule? I do not have the fucking time to check your work again and again! This assignment is supposed to be done by yourself, but you are still new here, so I decided to supervise you for the week, and yet you still made this type of mistake again!" Kanda yelled in anger. He could see that the guy was in tears, but there was simply no excuse in what he had done, and he deserved it.

"Do everything again, and hand it to me by evening!" He snapped. The brown-haired man nodded his head and took his assignment, walking out of the room. Kanda stared at the piles of work he needed to do and groaned, ruffling up his hair in slight fatigue and denial. He could hardly sleep in these few weeks due to the deadlines in this month, and he doubted he could even sleep tonight after seeing the horrendous work that the beansprout look-alike had submitted. The only thing that could make him relax and cool his nerves was the postcards that Allen sent him through the year. The raven-haired man took out the latest one which was delivered to him in February. He did not receive anything from then onwards.

He wondered whether Allen was lying to him_―_that he had forgotten about him and moved on with life. Kanda snorted at the slight dread he was actually feeling for the past few weeks when there was no news of the beansprout for the last four months. He did not see Allen logging into the internet to chat as well. He was certainly pissed, but his pride refused to admit it and he pretended that nothing had happened. He would wait, and if that beansprout sent another postcard or logged into the internet one day, he would berate him sarcastically on how he really missed him so much when he disappeared for weeks. Hah, Allen would surely regret on what he had done.

Several months passed, and soon, June had arrived. Still, he did not receive any news of Allen. Kanda began to think that something might have happened to him. He was about to call him when that irritating redhead sent him an email saying that they were fine and Allen was busy in his school examinations at the moment. He was relieved, though he was slightly horrified that he actually cared for that beansprout in a certain way. Kanda threw his frustrations at the back of his mind as he started to focus on his work. The reminiscence on Allen was gradually forgotten, until that brown-haired man with silver eyes came.

"Moyashi…"

Kanda could not deny that he was missing the warmth that both of them shared during the last night and the comforting feeling when Allen snuggled in his embrace. It was their first time, and frankly, he liked this strange yet soothing sensation when their bodies were flushed together. Most of all, he missed his sweet lips which tasted deliciously like spice and sparked something deep within his soul which only burnt in escalation as their lust grew. And that dream just now almost drove him insane. He was actually thinking of that as he mistook Sam's voice as Allen's! The raven-haired man groaned, wishing that he could kill himself this instant for not controlling his emotions.

Kanda stared at the calendar on the table. It was his birthday today, and he had a feeling that it would be a miserable day, just like his previous birthdays. He let out a sigh, before he resumed in his work.

* * *

"What is this? Must I tell you every single time you meet me that you need to attach your draft together with your work?"

Everyone grimaced at the loud snap coming from the room of their leader as he started scolding the new employee for handing up such a sloppy and unsatisfactory work again. It was currently June, the period which the company took up many assignments and projects, and due to the lack of time and the high expectations that they had to reach at the same time, it wasn't surprising that his mood was at his lowest.

"Aah, Kanda-san is yelling at him again. Poor Sam," A man wearing a thick pair of black spectacles said.

"It can't be helped. The senior management is pressuring him for good results and he has to make sure that everything is done perfectly. And Sam really deserves a scolding. I told him many times to submit his draft together with his assignment, but he just wouldn't listen," The young lady in her twenties who was sitting beside him replied, spinning the chair lightly in continuous circles.

"No, maybe he just forgets about it, Lily?" A young man with blonde hair suggested, twisting his pencil between his fingers. She frowned at him.

"It is common sense that a draft should be attached together with the final work," She answered back with a stern look. He just shrugged in reply and continued with his current paperwork.

"Hey, guys." A loud tap was heard, and everyone turned to stare at the red-haired girl who was staring at them in slight displeasure.

"We are supposed to finish our assignments by the end of this week. Shouldn't we concentrate on doing our work?"

"Yeah, yeah, Mandy. You are _soooo_ right," They said in unison and resumed in their work. The door of the room opened and a sullen guy walked out with a depressed look on his face. Mandy peered at the poor guy walking back to his desk and let out a soft sigh. Though she sympathised him slightly, but the last thing that he should do was to get onto Kanda's nerves. He could only blame on his forgetful head for this. She peered at the wooden door, having a sudden urge to go inside and ask whether he was alright. The raven-haired man was surely beyond stressed, having to do his own large projects and seeing through their work as well. She wanted to help him, but he would most likely reject her on the spot.

Mandy peered at the calendar, seeing the date that she had circled two weeks ago. It was the 6th of June today, which was exactly Kanda's birthday. Everyone had already planned on how to celebrate his birthday at the end of the day, but seeing the slow progress that they were in, she doubted that they could even get out of the office by evening. She stared at the digital graphics of her sketches in her computer which was almost finished, letting out a sigh again.

After they returned to Canada, nothing really changed much. Both of them went back to work, and she hardly saw Kanda around in the office as his projects on hand was increasing due to his popularity in the designer world. After his story was published on the magazine, more established clients were asking for him. Business was improving, though it was mostly because of him. If he was around, he would always stay in his room till late at night, rushing through the reports he had to give to the CEO.

She could see that Kanda had changed ever since he returned from London. He was more opened-up in his own feelings and emotions. He talked a little more frequently with his colleagues, and wasn't really pissed as much when female colleagues came to his room and pestered him to eat lunch with them. Even if he was willing to, those ladies did not even have a chance at all.

At that time in the airport when she was sitting with him in the cafe, she saw the photos that he was seeing in his camera, and they were mostly with the silver-haired teen he drew in the sketch. She had never seen him staring intently at each photo of the both of them for so long. The red-haired girl peered at him, seeing a slight hesitant and unwilling look on his face. Was he thinking of him? She felt a little jealous at that, but it wasn't her whom he liked.

When they walked around the airport, spending the remaining time to look around before the departure time, the raven-haired man was mostly in a daze, not focused in what he was doing. She wondered whether he realised that he would always look at the doors of the airport unconsciously, as though he was waiting for someone to come. Was he waiting for that silver-haired teen to come?

When they reached the doors going to the departure halls, his movements were slower, as though he was reluctant of going inside. As she watched him going towards the entrance, she couldn't help but reaching out and stopped him from leaving. She hated him for making such a solemn expression which wasn't himself at all, and she hated herself more for not able to put down her feelings for the raven-haired man who already had someone else in his mind. If he missed him so much, why was he leaving alone?

Why was he thinking of him? Why?

It hurt. Why…not her?

When that person was not with him that day, she nearly thought that she might have a slightest chance. Before she could say something to stop him, she heard a shout from behind.

_"I'm not going to let this end just yet, Kanda Yuu!"_

Her eyes widened, and as she turned slightly, a shadow whizzed past her as the silver-haired teen ran up to him, kissing him boldly on his lips in front of everyone. She stared at the both of them with wide eyes, completely stunned. She thought that Kanda would pull away in embarrassment, but to her utter shock, the raven-haired man gradually closed his eyes and kissed him back. Their lips moved gently in rhythm, and after a moment, they broke away, leaning closely to each other.

And at that particular moment, she knew she had no chance right at the beginning.

"Mandy!"

"Y-Yeah?" She looked up at the young blonde who had been calling her for a few minutes.

"What are you spacing out for?" He asked. She wondered about that as well.

"It's nothing. What is it?"

"Oh, can you help me look through the list of the clients' particulars while I am finishing up on my work?"

"Oh. Okay," Mandy answered as she took the documents from his hand, flipping through the pages. It had been a year since, and still, that person hadn't come. Was their relationship over?

The door opened and the raven-haired man stepped out, walking out of the office hastily with a brown folder in his hands. She assumed that he was going to fetch his current client who was reaching Canada today to review in their progression. She peered at the clock. It was exactly two in the afternoon.

Mandy stood up, seeing that everyone was doing their work. She walked to the room, opening the door slowly. His desk was unusually neat and tidy despite having so many things to do. She closed the door quietly behind him and looked around. It wasn't her first time coming into his room, but it still felt as though she was visiting here for the first time. She walked around, glancing at the papers which were filed neatly.

Something caught her eye. Looking closely, she pulled out something which turned out to be a postcard, instantly recognising the picture at the front which was the London's Eye, the large Ferris wheel in England. Turning behind, she saw a stamp and a message written on it. It was sent to him around mid-February last year.

_Dear Kanda,_

_Time really passes by so quickly. My final exams are around the corner in March, so I apologise if you are expecting a postcard in January. Well…that is, if you are expecting one from me. _

_How are you recently? Did you miss me? I bet you are rolling your eyes, saying a 'hell no!' immediately when you see this! But I really miss you. A lot. I even have the urge to throw everything behind and find you immediately, but I'm sure you will not like it. The weather here in London is warmer now, and young grass and plants have sprouted out to welcome the beginning of spring. I do hope that you are still wearing the cross necklace that I gave you. It will really be a waste to put it aside. It really looks great on you!_

She remembered that Kanda wore a cross necklace every day. Everyone asked where he got the beautiful accessory from. He said that they were being nosy at his personal affairs, but did he actually know that he would always fondle with the silver cross accessory attached to the necklace unconsciously whenever he was taking a break from work?

_Komui has gone to the States for work. Lavi has moved in with us, and you couldn't imagine how close they are now. Komui will be in rage if he finds out, well, you know what that is… The house becomes livelier, which is actually a good thing. At least it can keep me distracted from thinking about stuffs…_

_Every single day, I have never stopped thinking of you. Thinking of what you will be doing, how your life is in Canada etc. Please think of me sometimes as well. Don't say that I'm ridiculous. I'm slightly worried that you mix around with those girls and forget that you are my lover. I don't care. You are forever mine and mine only. Understand? _

_I love you, always. Write back, okay? I will be waiting! _

_Love,_

_Allen_

_P.S Please stop calling me Moyashi! My name is Allen! _

Mandy slipped the postcard back to the pile of documents where she found it. There must be more of these postcards in the drawer of his working table. They had been contacting each other all these while. She sat down on the chair, letting out a soft sigh as she spun around, staring at the scenery of Canada from the glass panes.

It might not be now, but it was time for her to slowly let it go.

* * *

"Dear passengers, we will be landing in Vancouver International Airport within a few minutes. Please return back to your seats and buckle up your seat-belts and ensure that your seats are pulled up to its original positions. Radios and other electronic stuffs should be switched off as well…"

The air stewards were walking around, collecting back the headphones and reminding the passengers to fasten their seat belts in preparation for landing. Silver eyes slowly opened, blinking as he groaned softly at the glaring sunlight shining through the window beside him. He brushed his long, silvery fringe aside and stretched his numb legs, taking out his red-coloured headphones before peering out of the small window as the plane was slowly descending beneath the white clouds, traveling together with the rushing wind.

"Finally…"

Allen let out a smile. It had been a year. Kanda returned to Canada to resume in his work, and he continued with his studies. Life felt a little longer than usual without the presence of the raven-haired man, but they would surely meet again, and with a strong faith in him, he moved on. They communicated with each other through sending postcards and sometimes through live messaging in the computer if Kanda was free.

Time passed by, and soon, it was the beginning of summer. He had finished his university education around mid-March, and was preparing the necessary documents he needed for his permanent stay as a resident in Canada. Lenalee had asked him whether he should reconsider his decision since Canada was far away from London. He would definitely miss her and Lavi and all his friends there, but he had already made his choice when the both of them said their goodbyes at the airport a year ago. They sent him off at the airport, and though they were reluctant, they wished him all the best.

The airplane jerked and plunged slightly due to turbulence. The silver-haired teen unzipped his navy-blue jacket, feeling the soft texture of the silver ribbon which was tied beautifully over a small, red box in his hands. Kanda did not know that he would be arriving in Canada today. It was planned to be a surprise for his birthday, and he was really curious on how the raven-haired man would react when he saw him. His fingers touched the present lightly as he leaned back his seat, counting down the time till he reached.

Loud screeching noises echoed as the wheels of the plane were launched out. The plane took a steep plunge once again, and he could finally see the scenery and the houses clearly. It slowly descended, the blasting roars of its engines bellowing loudly as the plane finally touched down. The silver-haired teen excused himself and went out, reaching for his large canvas bag on the top shelf. Checking that his passport was inside his pocket, he waited for the long queue of passengers to move.

A while later, the queue finally moved and he walked out of the plane, moving to the immigration point of the airport. The queues at the various counters were short, and a few minutes later, he was going to the belt to collect his luggage.

"I'm thankful that you are coming all the way to pick me up. I have just arrived at the airport," A black-haired man in his late forties who was walking beside him was talking in his phone. Beside him, there were others who had already switched on their phones to check for missed calls and messages. Some of them were chatting happily, and he supposed that they were talking to their family and friends who were waiting for their arrival.

"Oh, you have already reached? Great, I will be there soon."

Allen took a trolley and pushed it in front of the moving belt, looking out for his black medium-sized luggage. While waiting, he took out his phone, messaging Lenalee that he had arrived here safely. The silver-haired teen tapped his feet lightly, whistling a merry tune to himself.

He then spotted his luggage after a moment and grabbed it, putting it on the trolley. The black-haired man had taken his belongings and was also moving to the arrival halls together with him. The doors slowly opened, and as he felt a rush of wind blowing directly at his face, he was greeted by a row of people who were waiting for their family and friends. Allen moved away from the crowd, looking at the note he had written which had the place he needed to go to submit his documents.

"Hello. How have you been?"

The black-haired man stopped in front of someone. Allen passed by, his eyes widening slightly as he sniffed a familiar scent of jasmine lingering in the air. Wondering whether he was imagining things, he walked out of the crowd and headed towards the exit.

* * *

Kanda rushed into the airport, breathing heavily as he took note of the timings of the flights which would be arriving by then. Seeing the number of the arrival gate he had to report to from the large screen, he sprinted off hurriedly, hoping that he would not be late. There were simply so many assignments on hand that he lost track of time and almost forgot that he had to fetch his client today.

He ran up the escalator, excusing himself from the people walking around as he went to the arrival gate. Many people were already there, and the area was so filled that he couldn't see the entrance very clearly. The raven-haired man frowned slightly, scanning around to look for somewhere to stand. Finding one at a corner, he stood there and took out his phone which had been vibrating for a few seconds. It was his client.

"Hello, Kanda-san. I'm thankful that you are coming all the way to pick me up. Sorry for the delay. I have just arrived at the airport."

"No, it's okay. I have just reached as well, Fujiwara-san," Kanda answered between gasps, cleaning off the sweat from his forehead as he focused on the doors which might be opening any time.

"Oh, you have already reached? Great, I will be there soon."

He ended the call and put his phone into his pocket of his jeans. Kanda gripped on the brown folder tightly in his hands, staring at the doors. A few minutes later, the doors opened and many people streamed out with their baggage in their hands. Sapphire eyes squinted as he looked for a man with black hair wearing a business suit.

"Kanda-san!"

Kanda turned at the voice, seeing the man waving to him as he walked to him. He smiled as he approached his client and shook his hand.

"Welcome to Canada, Fujiwara-san," Kanda said.

"How have you been?" The man asked back with a friendly smile.

"I'm fine. I take you back to your hotel first, and we can meet up later in the evening to discuss on the project?" The black-haired man nodded his head. As he led him out of the crowd, he felt someone walking past him, brushing against his shoulder lightly. Kanda turned around in slight irritation, wondering who he was, but all he saw were hordes of people getting out of the doors instead.

"What's wrong, Kanda-san?"

"No, it's nothing. Let's go, Fujiwara-san," Kanda answered, leading him out of the airport. They walked to the carpark, and as they reached a navy-blue sports car, Kanda stopped, unlocking the doors as he asked the man to go in first. He then put his luggage in the car trunk, taking out his phone which started to vibrate again.

"Hello?"

"It's me, Mandy. There seems to be some missing names in the current list of clients we have, and there are also some errors in the information as well."

"What?" Kanda exclaimed in frustration. Every time when he was busy, something would always happen to oppose him in his way. "I'm bringing Fujiwara back to his hotel first. I will settle this when I get back to the office. Talk to you later." He ended the call and sat down on the driver seat. He closed the door and switched on the engines, before he stepped on the accelerator and went off to his next destination.

* * *

It was four-thirty in the afternoon. Allen walked out of the administrative building, making sure that he had collected the necessary documents needed. He walked down a flight of stairs, taking out his phone as he scrolled through the notes he had typed down until he saw a Canadian address. The silver-haired teen walked to the nearest bus stop, peering at the board as it had the information on the buses which would come here.

The sun was hiding behind the heavy clouds hovering lightly in the clear blue sky. He sat down, taking out his shades and wearing it as he waited for the bus to come. Allen took out his camera, snapping down the scenery of its surroundings on his way. The view in Canada was also spectacular compared to London, and he made sure to take lots of photos to post them online such that Lenalee and Lavi could see as well.

The bus came, and he boarded it, tapping the card at the scanner before he walked to the end of the bus and sat at the corner, looking out of the window. The doors closed, and the vehicle gradually moved out to the main road, travelling to its next destination. He closed his eyes, enjoying the cooling feel of the evening breeze brushing on his skin lightly. He hoped that the bus would go faster, such that he would be able to meet up with Kanda quickly.

He missed him so much. He wanted to see him badly.

Allen wondered how much Kanda had changed for the past twelve months. It wasn't a long period of time when he left, and he wasn't sure whether he was waiting for him. His hand reached up, playing with the silver accessory attached at his left ear which he had pierced just a week ago.

"Kanda…" His name lingered at his parted lips.

But that did not matter anymore. He was here, and he was going to see him. The silver strands of his hair fluttered lightly in the air, before they fell on his shoulders as the bus slowed down and turned, entering another district. It gradually stopped at a bus stop, opening its doors as people started coming in. The doors closed after the passengers sat down, and the bus began to move once again. It passed by countless streets and buildings, and Allen took a few snapshots before it entered an expressway.

He recalled the memories they had, wondering how long the both of them walked in their lives before they finally reached each other. It was really a long way, from the time he fell in love with Kanda when he was still an Exorcist till now. So many years had gone by, and their romance was not obtained rather easily. They had gone through many obstacles, having many misunderstandings and heartbreaking moments before they finally realised their feelings for each other.

Now, was it going to be forever?

After about an hour of the journey, Allen pressed the bell and stood up, walking to the exit doors. As the bus stopped and opened its doors, he alighted at the road side, peering at the road signs around the district area. He walked over to the traffic junction, stopping at the front as he waited for the pedestrian traffic light to turn green.

He remembered that night when they were walking back to the hotel. He was contemplating whether he should cross the road, and wished that the traffic system would malfunction such that Kanda would continue to stay at his side. It was his last day, and he was not sure what he should do. Kanda's feelings were confirmed, but it did not mean that he would stay behind for him. Now that he thought about it, Allen wondered whether letting him go was the right decision. Now, would Kanda be thinking of him? Would he…be waiting for his return?

The cars stopped, and the traffic light for the pedestrians turned green. Allen took a step forward, making his way across the junction to the other end of the road. He continued to walk along the small pavement entering a larger district, taking note of the surroundings to make sure that he did not miss the final place he was heading.

The silver-haired teen passed by a small shop which was selling snacks, and as his nose caught its aroma, his stomach growled in response. Allen walked up and bought some food, before he continued on his way, munching the food to fill up his stomach. He adjusted his cap loosely on his head and took a right turn at the corner of the street. He stopped for a moment, taking pictures on the way. More buildings were in sight, and after walking for a few distances, he saw a glass building at the front which was where he was going.

After a few minutes, Allen stopped right at the front of an office building. He stared at the yellow note he was holding to see whether he had come to the right place. As he stared at the entrance, a smile gradually appeared on his face.

"I'm finally here…at Kanda's workplace," Allen murmured softly. He really had to thank Tiedoll for giving him such important information before he left. The silver-haired teen pushed the glass door and stepped into the main lobby of the building. He was about to go to the nearest washroom when he felt a bump at his shoulder and stumbled in his steps slightly.

"I'm sorry…!"

He turned, his eyes slowly widening at the familiar red-haired girl who was always with Kanda when they were in London. Her eyes also went wide in shock at seeing him.

"You…Allen?" She asked, pointing at him.

"Yes. How…did you know my name?" Allen asked in bewilderment. From what he could remember, he was sure he did not tell her his name before.

"Are you here to find Kanda?"

It was rather awkward to start a conversation with her after what had happened among the three of them in London. Allen nodded his head slowly, not certain what he should say to her.

"Follow me." He was slightly stunned by her smile. She beckoned him to follow her, and he walked with her as they entered the lift. The doors closed and the lift ascended swiftly. The two of them were silent, standing at opposite corners as they stared elsewhere but each other.

"I thought you will not be coming."

Allen turned and stared at her in slight astonishment. He then averted his gaze at the black-coloured marble floor with shimmering silver glitters on the stone tiles of the floor.

"We made a promise," He replied softly.

She stared at him in silence.

"And I have not told him that I would be here! It is supposed to be a surprise. You know that it is his birthday today right?" He smiled at her. Her eyes widened at his words, and she somehow understood why Kanda liked him. After she returned to Canada and met up with him, the raven-haired man told her about the time when he met Allen and how the two of them always bickered and fought whenever they met each other. They did not see things eye to eye, and none of them knew that it would turn out to be like this, but it just…happened.

The lift stopped and the doors opened. They stepped into a narrow corridor, and after a few seconds of walking, they stopped in front of a glass door leading to their office. Mandy pushed it and went in, holding the door in place to let Allen in. He thanked her as he entered, looking around the place in slight awe. She closed the door quietly and followed him behind, watching his silhouette in silence.

"This is where…Kanda works?" He let out a soft gasp.

"Kanda is not around at the moment. He will be back soon," She replied. Allen nodded his head, continuing to walk around as he explored the office.

"Mandy, I'm so glad that you are back! There is something which I need to ask…" The blonde stopped as he stared at the silver-haired teen who noticed his gaze and turned to him.

"You…?"

"He is Allen Walker, a friend of Kanda's," Mandy said.

"What a…beautiful friend Kanda got…" He said with a light chuckle as they shook hands, staring at him intensely_―_or rather, _too intensely__―_with a curious gaze. Allen flushed slightly in embarrassment at his sudden compliment.

"Ken…" Mandy frowned at his friend's behaviour.

"I have never seen such enticing silver eyes and a person with silver hair, Mandy!" Ken exclaimed with a wide grin. Allen prayed that this friend of hers would not pull him to meet the others, but unfortunately, he was really pulled to where the others were sitting. The auburn-haired girl groaned softly as she touched her aching forehead, following them behind to where they usually sat. Allen squirmed in slight discomfort as they surrounded him, inspecting him from head to toe.

"He is Allen, Kanda's friend! Everyone, please welcome him!" Ken announced loudly, clapping his hands.

"I didn't know that Kanda has friends outside!"

"So your name is Allen?"

"Nice to meet you! Is this your first time in Canada?"

"You're rather pretty for a guy. Do you mind being my boyfriend?" The last comment frightened him slightly. Allen stared at the woman with light-brown curls in slight shock as she walked closer to him, sending him several heated gazes with her sparkly golden eyes. He swallowed nervously and stepped back in reaction.

"Lily!" Everyone shouted in unison, glaring at her. She laughed softly and apologised.

"Don't mind about us, Allen. It's just that we are surprised that Kanda would have a friend like you," Ken said, patting on his shoulders gently. Allen smiled back, and he just watched them talking among themselves, laughing and chuckling along the way. They introduced their lives to him_―_how they worked here, how Kanda snapped at them whenever they made mistakes and so on. For the next thirty minutes, he had learnt a lot of things regarding to Kanda who had been working in this company for the last three years.

"Kanda has zero sense in socialising! Surprisingly, he can do it with his clients, but when it comes to us, it just turns out weird and awkward!"

"Yeah, he would always make a blunder out of it, but he just does not want to admit it."

Allen laughed. It was really something that Kanda would do.

"For a good-looking guy like him, he claims that he isn't seeing anyone at the moment. We thought that it is definitely a lie, so all the female colleagues here have tried to seduce him and catch his attention, but Kanda just wouldn't budge," Lily said with a defeated sigh, and the others nodded their heads in agreement. Silver eyes widened slightly, and he started to imagine the possible scenarios in his head. Allen frowned in slight displeasure. So that baKanda had some level of popularity in this office? Just how many women had come to his office and seduce him with their looks? The silver-haired teen let out a soft snort. He was not going to admit that he was jealous over this matter.

"I wish he can just look at me for just a few seconds!" Lily grumbled lightly.

"Even if he looks at you, it is impossible for you to be his girlfriend," Mandy answered coolly, joining them a few minutes later.

"Why?" She exclaimed loudly, indignant at her direct answer.

"He may not have someone in mind in the past, but…now he does."

There was silence for a few seconds.

"What!"

"Who is it, Mandy?"

"Tell us!"

Everyone screamed out in shock and disbelief. Allen stared at her in silence, noticing the slight hesitant tone in her voice. Mandy ignored their whines as she stood up, gesturing him to follow her. He nodded his head and stood up as well, walking with her to the door of a room. She reached out and opened, and as the silver-haired teen slowly stepped inside, silver eyes slowly widened at what he saw. He turned back, staring at her with an appalled expression on his face.

"This is his room. I will be outside if you need me." Mandy walked out, closing the door quietly behind her.

From the moment he entered here, that familiar jasmine scent which was always on that raven-haired man's body rushed up to him instantly. He could feel the same type of nostalgia he had when he was with Kanda, and this nostalgic feeling was present in this room. Allen breathed in deeply, taking slow steps forward as he looked around, capturing everything that belonged to him with his own eyes. His camera was on the table, and the brown sling bag which he carried when they went out on the last day before he left was hanging loosely at his black chair. His fingers slowly trailed along the smooth surface of his working table, peering closely at his documents lying around and the same stationary which he took when he was in London.

He saw something in between the piles of papers. Allen pulled it out carefully, his eyes widening at the familiar postcard that he sent him. He flipped it behind, seeing the short note that he wrote. He then noticed a drawer which was slightly opened. His hand reached down, and as he opened, he saw more of his postcards inside a box. Silver eyes widened as he just stared, not expecting that Kanda would still be keeping them so neatly. Allen smiled, putting the last postcard in his hand, before he closed the drawer lightly.

Allen slowly sat down on the seat, taking up the camera gingerly as he switched it on. The screen flickered, and his eyes widened at the first photo which appeared. It was a picture of the both of them taken at the park where they skated on the ice lake. He scrolled through more of their photos from the folder. The silver-haired teen leaned back, reminiscing on that day, and the activities that they did together.

In a blink of an eye, six years had passed by.

He turned the chair around, facing the glass panes showing the beautiful view of the city. Allen let out a soft yawn, feeling exhausted after a long journey. He wanted to wait for Kanda, but his eyes refused to listen to him. As the heavy eyelids began to close on their own, his head continue to replay the particular memory when Kanda's hands calloused his face as he leaned in and kissed him warmly on his lips.

* * *

He was beyond tired when he got back to his office. Kanda groaned softly as he wiped away the beads of sweat on his forehead. This client was slightly talkative, and he was getting a little irritated at their conversation which did not seem to end, but he did not say anything and maintained his calm composure, talking with him with a smile on his face. This went on, and by the time the conversation really ended, it was already half-past five in the evening.

The raven-haired man jabbed on the lift button hardly, leaning against the wall as the doors closed and the lift began to ascend to the 20th floor. There were so much administrative work needed to be done when he returned, and he still had to meet that talkative client at eight to discuss on the project they were working on. Kanda sighed, resting his arm on the metal railing as he stared at the number on the screen above. His colleagues were likely to organise a party for him at a bar later, but he doubted that he even had the time to celebrate his birthday.

The lift gradually slowed down and stopped, before it opened the doors. Kanda stepped out, turning left as he walked along the corridor, before he turned right, opening the door with a push as he walked into the office. Everyone was absorbed in the work they were doing, not noticing that he had returned. He went over to Mandy's desk, tapping lightly to get her attention.

"Give me the list."

She nodded and handed him the paper. Kanda glanced through the names and information stated inside, frowning as he spotted mistakes which needed to be edited and missing information which needed to be filled in.

"I will give it to you later," He said, and as the raven-haired man was about to walk back to his room, something grabbed his arm and stopped him. Kanda turned back and stared at her.

"What?"

She wanted to tell him that Allen had returned, and he was now in his room, but when she opened her mouth, nothing came out.

"No, it's nothing."

Kanda raised his eyebrow. Mandy looked away, not wanting to see his changed expression when he heard his name from her. She did not want to hear the rushed footsteps to his room, the crash of the door opening, and soft whispers of the both of them talking to each other closely before they kissed. Although it would eventually happen, she did not want to know.

He turned and walked to his room, twisting the doorknob as he opened the door. Kanda stepped inside, feeling slightly strange. It was his room, but somehow, something wasn't right here. He put down the paper on the table, noticing a leg stretching out from his chair. The raven-haired man frowned, wondering who this woman now was, pestering him again and again just for a stupid date. Kanda walked towards his chair in large strides, and as his hand reached out in an attempt to spin it around and find out the culprit, he stopped.

Soft snores were heard, and it was most likely that he or she was currently asleep, but this was not what he was concerned about. He caught a light yet extreme familiar scent which could only be found on that particular person he knew. The raven-haired man thought that he was imagining things, but when he saw strands of silver hair protruding out of the chair, he wished that he really was not hallucinating_―_that there might be a slight chance that he had finally returned to his side.

Kanda walked forward, reaching out to the chair as he slowly turned it around.

Sapphire eyes slowly widened in shock.

"Moyashi…"

Allen groaned, his eyes slowly opening after realising that he had dozed off. The silver-haired teen blinked for a moment, shifting his aching body which was tilted to the side of the chair he was sitting on for too long. He yawned and stretched himself, feeling slightly refreshed after a few minutes' of napping. The silver-haired teen smiled and was about to put the camera back on the table when he realised that someone was here. He looked up, his smile faltering immediately as his eyes widened at the person he saw.

"Kanda…"

The raven-haired man he saw now had changed a little. His hair and fringe were longer, and he looked thinner than before. But other than that, his beautiful features and stunning eyes were still the same_―_enough to take his entire breath away.

"Why…" Kanda started to speak, completely stunned at his sudden appearance. He knew that the beansprout would eventually come here to see him, yet he could not conceal the appalled expression showing on his face, that he was really here, standing right in front of him this instant.

Allen smiled and let out a light chuckle.

"Too shocked to see me?" He asked, raising his eyebrow in slight amusement.

The raven-haired man reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him into his arms roughly as he captured his lips in a searing, needy kiss. Allen gasped softly in slight surprise, feeling his arm tightening around his waist as his wet tongue slipped inside his mouth. Their tongues began tackling each other fiercely in a heated battle, both of them not willing to give in. Kanda continued to ravish his swollen lips again and again, reliving the pleasure they once had. The silver-haired teen inhaled deeply, kissing him back passionately as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders, yearning for his burning heat which had once lit his entire soul into flames.

Seconds later, they slowly pulled away, breathing heavily. Silver eyes fluttered open, gazing at his sapphire eyes which were staring at him. He smiled, wrapping his arms around his shoulders as he pulled him close.

"I miss you," Allen murmured softly. "I miss you so much."

"I told you not to let me wait for too long," Kanda hissed lightly, breathing in his sweet scent which he had been depriving for months.

Allen laughed softly in reply as he looked up. "Aren't I here now?"

"You should be punished," Kanda snapped softly, threading his silver strands with his fingers. Allen raised an eyebrow in slight curiosity and amusement.

"Oh, how are you going to do that?"

"What do you think, Moyashi?" He asked with a smirk.

"It's Allen!" The silver-haired teen grumbled with a pout. The raven-haired man then felt something pressing at his chest. He looked down, his eyes widening at the present in his hands.

"Happy 23rd birthday, and…" Allen reached up and kissed him.

"I'm home, Kanda."

* * *

A/N: Are you guys fooled? This is NOT the ending yet! There are one more chapter and an epilogue left. Thank you so much for the reviews and loves! And NO, the previous chapter isn't the ending yet!

I wasn't really sure whether Canada's international airport is Vancouver International Airport. I found it from the internet and I decided to use it, so if it isn't, sorry about that!

The words in _italics _are the lyrics for the song 'When You're Gone' sung by Avril Lavigne. This song gave me a lot of inspirations for this chapter, thus I decide to use it here.

Please review! Everything is appreciated! And sorry for the spelling and grammar mistakes!

~SingingBlues

**New A/N: The song lyrics are deleted, but I still want to let you readers know that this chapter is inspired by this song 'When You're Gone' sung by Avril Lavigne. Thanks for reading once again!**

**SingingBlues  
**


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